A Battle with Fate
by Raeghann
Summary: Spot Conlon was a leader a strong man who gave everything up for those who depended on him, I tried to keep him from the life he choose, from the life that had killed our parents, but I failed. In a away I suppose I failed them both.
1. Default Chapter

A new story for me, I was so excited when I got this idea. I have been writing a story like it for years only different characters. Since I have had writer's block on it for a while I thought I'd try it Newsies style and see if anyone liked it anyway. If they did maybe I'd continue with my other story and let this one free me from writers block. Let me know what you think!  
  
Insert usual disclaimer here, the story, characters that were not originally in Newsies are mine, the Newsies that are owned by Disney is theirs, I hope everyone is happy with that because I'm done on with the story! 


	2. Prologue

Prologue  
  
Ask anyone you know in New York who Spot Conlon is and they will know. Even at the tender age of fifteen he was the most respected and feared newsie in all of New York. The leader of Brooklyn, the strong, enigmatic, lady's man that the upper class called a troublemaker and the lower called a hero. He was well respected if not well liked, a lone wolf, for being a leader is ever a lonely business. Having to choose between your life and the lives of those that depend on you leave you making choices you never wanted to make.  
  
To me he was never Spot Conlon; he was Alexander Brian Conlon, Alex to those few he allowed close. Who am I that the infamous Spot Conlon would include me among his intimates? I am included because I have known him all my life. No, I'm not Jack "Cowboy" Kelly, David " the Mouth" Jacobs, or Ricardo "Racetrack" Higgins, nor any of the other's of the gang that made them so famous. Though now the stories are turning to legend and I know that even that will fade.  
  
I was not as you may think the love of his life, not in the manner in which you are thinking. No that title was graced upon another woman who will enter into this story later. No I was nothing so glamorous I am but his sister and I took my role very seriously. Mama named him Alexander for Alexander the Great and Brian for the legendary Irish King, she expected great things from him.  
  
I write this now for my own piece of mind, I write this to tell those that read this, few it may be, that Alex was not an evil man. He could be cold, calculating, and cruel sometimes, but never evil. I write this now to tell about a side of him few ever saw, to be placed in my scrapbook of newspaper clippings that mention him. I pasted the final one in last night; he will be giving up his old life with its adrenaline rushes and its danger. I had fought for this for so long and it took such a dreadful price to finally drive my point home. As his protective older sister I tried to keep him from the life he chose. I did not want him to be a part of the life that kept us alive during those years just after mama and papa's death, from the life that had killed our parents. Papa had been a thief, one of the best and I had tried to keep Alex from following his path, but I failed. In that way I suppose I failed them both, both the woman he loved and him.  
  
His story is like most, he lived, he grew, he loved, but it is the nature of his love that inspires me to write this. The all-encompassing passion for which he could only give to one woman a woman named Julia Alessandra Barranoff Dubois.  
  
A woman whose story was one of rags to riches, to us she had been the daughter of our next-door neighbor in the decrepit old tenement we called home; to us she had been simply Julia Barranoff. A bright child shining like the sunlight when she entered a room despite the dark beauty she had inherited from her mother. A beauty that brought to mind the gypsies and though her mother claimed gypsy blood we never knew for sure. I can picture her now as she once was, a small little pixy with tangles dark curls tinted with red, and vivid green-gold eyes that looked out at you from beyond her fair skin. She was a child with the sweet disposition and the violent temper that could only be quieted by my brother and her mother. With a life force that refused to be dimmed, a person whose very existence makes many of us feel insignificant. A child whose whims would often lead her into trouble that she could smile and charmingly extract herself from. .  
  
We did not know she would become Julia Dubois of the New York Dubois. Though we had heard her mother's tale of the husband that had left her, we never believed it. We knew of the man who had married her and abandoned her upon his family's request. They had money and would not accept the lowly daughter of a gypsy as their son's wife. We had heard this story before, it was the sad story of a woman who often times had been knocked up and had no husband. Many whispered how Julia was a child born out of wedlock, a bastard. Though looking back on it, it was vicious gossip spread by women who envied her mother's beauty and later Julia's. Her mother told us at one point how lucky she had been that he had never learned of her pregnancy or he would have taken Julia away. Those words would echo in my mind later as they came true.  
  
We first met Julia when Alex was no more than six and she little more that three. She stumbled in the hall nearly tumbling down the stairs luckily she was saved by my brother, or she might have broken her neck. He fastened those blue eyes upon hers and for a long moment neither moved. I remember watching from the doorway, my mother just behind me as they looked at each other and Julia lisped the words that were too far beyond her years. I watched as her aged eyes looked at my brother solemnly.  
  
"You will be the only my only love." She whispered her voice sounding distant and far away, the voice I had heard a few times come from my mother's lips. The voice that was never wrong and often was frightening. " and I will be yours, only death will ever be able to separate us, though we will fight it."  
  
I expected the fear that any six year old would have, I expected him to tease her, to react to the fear that traveled down my spine. He didn't though; he just helped her back to the top of the staircase seeming mesmerized by the little girl.  
  
"Your name wee bairn." My mother asked stepping past me her lilting accent serious as she looked at the young child.  
  
"Julia Barranoff. " she replied dipping a curtsy to her as my mother knelt taking the child's chin in her hand.  
  
"You have the sight young one?" my mother queried, her eyes holding the same knowing look as the child. The child gave her a curious look and nodded slowly.  
  
"My Mama tells me so."  
  
I shivered as I looked to Alex who watched all this without a flicker of fear. He knew as she had said those words she was right. They would both fight it, circumstances would tear them apart and in the end only death would separate them.  
  
The story does not start there however, no it starts years later, it starts after both of our mothers had died, and I had taken young Julia in to live with us unable to part her from my brother. They were inseparable joined at the hip; practically everywhere he went she went too. I did not have to worry about where they were for they could and would protect each other. They played in the streets among those that would one day become the some of the greatest unrecognized members of organized crime. The ring of thieves as smart as the merry men with more class. It starts before the greatly remembered Newsboy strike, the day that the Wolves began. 


	3. Through the years

If I think about it long enough the past seems to almost come alive in my mind, I can hear the shouts of those long forgotten days and I smile as I do. Alex and Julia might have been inseparable, but neither would ever be in perfect adoration of the other. Both were strong, independent and stubborn neither ready to give an inch most of the time. I wondered some days how they even sold together. I had allowed them to get jobs as newsies as soon as Julia was old enough to wonder around with Alex. I knew Alex would take good care of her he always had; I was just a little concerned about his ability to fend of anyone that might try to take her. It took all kinds to make up the city we called New York. Some were good kinds some bad, I was more worried about them dealing with the bad.  
  
I hated the idea of Alex wondering around the city day in and day out, but it kept them out of trouble and gave them something to do during the day. I had though it would be a good way to keep Alex from Papa's path; unfortunately it was placing him in the right environment for him to continue with it. It was through the newsies that the Wolves began, and the day it began was a warm sultry day in New York. It was a Sunday; I refused to let them work on Sunday's telling them they were required to take one day off. That Sunday I would have wished them anywhere, but in our apartment.  
  
The heat was making everyone miserable especially Julia and when Julia got miserable she got irritable. She hated the heat, she would laugh and dance in the snow, but put her in the middle of a hot July day and you had one crabby child. The only thing she liked about the summer was the fact she could swim and the summer storms. She was an odd child never afraid of thunder or lightning actually she reveled in it. It was all we could do on those days to keep her from climbing on the roof to watch.  
  
On a normal day she picked on Alex and he took it good-naturedly, on an irritable day she did everything she could to irritate him. It was as if she was miserable he had to be doubly miserable and on that hot day he was already irritated.  
  
It was too hot to make her lie down and take her nap; I didn't even try that day. She may have been nearly six at that point, but if she didn't get her nap irritability was a surety and neither Alex nor I were willing to pry her from that babyish habit if it meant she was her usual sweet self. The problem was she hated naps with a passion and making her lay down in the sweltering heat that had made it near impossible to sleep the night before seemed like too much of a punishment.  
  
"Julia ya get ya grubby hands off my cane or I'll club ya with it." I remember Alex yelling that afternoon, I had been hoping for a quiet day to relax. It was a day I didn't have to work, it was rare, and I had been planning to enjoy it. "It was my pa's."  
  
"Ya ain't gonna club me with it Alex," she squawked indignantly " and it weren't ya pa's, ya stole it off some hoity toity rich man in Central Station two weeks ago. 'Member, I was the one that distracted him."  
  
"I stole it faire and square now give it." he growled changing tactics. I smiled in spite of myself, Alex ever the tactician, ever the wizard at winning." I'll soak ya Jul, don't make me soak ya."  
  
I promise his tactics got better with age, but when your nine and you have a six year old to contend with there are only so many options at your disposal.  
  
"Ya ain't gonna soak me either." She snapped. " 'Cause Kat will tan ya hide if ya lay a hand on me."  
  
"If you don't stop your squalling both of you I'm going to tan both of your hides." I broke in startling them enough for Julia to let go of the cane and Alex to follow through with his word and club her in the head. He grinned triumphantly, but his triumph was short lived as she looked up at him with those beautiful long lashed eyes and let one perfect tear fall down her cheek. He was immediately repentant and handed her the cane.  
  
"Sorry Jul, did I hurt ya?" he asked kneeling down and feeling her head for bumps as she nodded sadly, from the twinkle in her eyes though I knew that Julia wasn't any more hurt than I. She was just starting to learn her feminine wiles, wiles that would serve her well as she got older. She too was a brilliant tactician, I knew if they ever became foes they would be formidable ones. They would be something along the lines of Sherlock Holmes and Professor Moriarty. " No bumps."  
  
"It hurts though." She whimpered letting her lower lip tremble just a bit. Spot looked at her for a moment his eyes narrowing and she held her look almost daring him to see through it.  
  
"Ya ain't hurt Jul." Spot growled "getup before I tan ya hide for lyin to me."  
  
"It wasn't lyin ya did hurt me." She cried, standing and placing both hands on her hips her head tilting in irritation as she glared at him.  
  
"Ya weren't really hurt." Spot protested, I sighed knowing it was going to be one of those days when they couldn't agree on anything.  
  
"Outside both of you." I snapped rubbing my temple absently. " I don't want to hear another peep out of both of you for the rest of the day and give me that cane, I don't want you stealing either. You got that Alex, I catch you doing it again and I'll send you to the Refuge myself."  
  
"Yeah, yeah." He replied taking Julia's hand and leading her to the door. She stopped as he opened the door for her and turned running back to me holding her arms out for a hug. Unable to resist I gave her one and returned her kiss before letting her squirming little body go. She ran to Alex who took her hand again.  
  
"Alex, I had a dream last night." She said as the door shut. I ran to it and opened it listening for what she said. There were times that those dreams were invaluable. "There was this dark haired man and he came and took me away from ya. Kat was in the corner cryin and didn't do anythin, 'sept held ya back."  
  
"Was it a dream, dream or one of your dreams?" Alex asked well accustomed by now to Julia's dreams. Only on a rare occasion did she have episodes where she was awake, usually the sight came to her in the night in the form of dreams. I thanked God for her episodes could scare the daylights out of me.  
  
"One of my dreams." She said simply as though it were every day that one had dreams that came true. I glanced over the railing of the stairwell to see Alex put his arms around her comfortingly.  
  
"I ain't gonna let anyone take ya Jul." he told her.  
  
"Ya aint' gonna be able to stop him." She said in that faraway adult tone that had the power to make old ladies cross themselves.  
  
"I ain't gonna let him, I'll die first." Alex replied vehemently, wisely Julia let it drop knowing that he would take her away, but that arguing with Alex about it would be pointless. I shivered wondering at the power of the man who would be able to part them. I prayed for both their sakes her dream didn't come true. They wondered down the street to the docks where one day in a few years Alex would rule like a king.  
  
"Heya Alex me boy." A voice called. " Got the pipsqueak with ya again."  
  
"I ain't any more of a pipsqueak than you're a halfwit." Julia growled. Spot watched the boy who laughed and rubbed his had across her curls in a brotherly way.  
  
"What's a Manhattan newsie doin in Brooklyn Frankie?" he asked as they spit in their hands and shook.  
  
"I gots a business proposition for ya, an it ain't Frank no more, it's Jack." Frank told him, swaggering in the manner of a child trying to look like an adult.  
  
"An' last week it was Will, an the week before that it was Ryan." Alex replied sitting on a crate and leaning back watching Frankie with the gaze of a hawk. " And now ya Jack. When ya gonna decide on a name and keep it?"  
  
"When I find one I like an this week I like Jack Kelly." Frankie replied. " I think I'll keep it."  
  
"Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jump over the candle stick." Julia giggled; Alex let a small smile to his lips at her amusement. Frankie glowered and she put her thumb to her nose and wiggled her fingers at him. Alex took her hand and shook his head.  
  
"Well what ever ya gonna call yaself what the hell brought ya all the way into Brooklyn when ya know the Brooklyn newsies ain't liken the Manhattan ones these days? Someone might soak ya."  
  
"Ya wouldn't let 'em." Frankie said in a cocky tone. Alex just shook his head and waited as Frankie motioned for a couple of other boys to step from beyond the crates they were hiding behind. Alex watched them in the same manner he had watched Frankie. He knew it would make them uncomfortable. He understood that his piercing gaze that seemed to see right through you was an asset, that he had the upper hand while using it. Julia sat next to him her head resting on his leg. Absently he brushed at her curls, his gesture so tender, and his look so deadly.  
  
"This is Race, Flint named him Racetrack since he came from Sheepshead, and that's where he sells. This other one's Mush, not too sure where that nickname came from I think Flint pulled it from his ass."  
  
"Ass." Julia repeated giggling; she was rewarded with a pull on her hair from Alex.  
  
"I don't want ya talking like that Jul." Alex warned, she looked up at him and nodded softly before returning her head to his knee, her eyes beginning to droop sleepily. Alex sighed in relief; if he could get her to sleep through the worst part of this day then it would be okay. If he didn't there would be hell to pay.  
  
I realize as I write this they sound rather like siblings fighting. I always thought they fought like children are wont to do, but they never appeared as siblings to me. Maybe it was because I knew what they were, I knew that fate had a plan for them and it included them being the love of each other's lives. The idea of them seeming like siblings is rather pervy if you think about it in that manner, though they looked out for each other the ages they were at made Alex have to look out for her in the manner of an older brother. They did not have the emotional capacity for more yet.  
  
"So ya may continue, what's this proposition?" Alex asked his hand again returning to the task of brushing at her curls.  
  
"We're thinkin of starting a thievin ring." Frankie told him. " I was thinkin the other day that we could make three times as much as we do on our own if we work together. "  
  
"I don't work with no one." Alex said firmly. Frankie licked his lips and looked from the boys back to Alex.  
  
"Well thinka all the money we could make....." Frankie began.  
  
"He ain't gonna be stealin nothin." Julia broke in coming wide-awake. " Kat said she'd send him to the Refuge if he did. No more pick pocketing Alex, I don't want them to put ya there. I'd have to get sent there too and it scares me."  
  
"I ain't gonna get sent there, I ain't gonna let them put me in there and ya couldn't come it's for boys only." Alex retorted. " If I wanna pick pockets then I'm gonna got that little girl."  
  
"I'll tell Kat." She replied stubbornly. " I will!"  
  
The other boys watched this argument curiously wondering what a little girl could have that made her able to argue with Alex Conlon. Frankie just watched in amusement knowing that this little girl was probably the only person who could sway Alex's opinion. Alex struggled with his temper knowing that he was rapidly loosing the respect and awe of the other boys.  
  
"Ya ain't gonna tell her Jul, please promise me ya won't" Alex whispered in her ear, he looked at her, his blue eyes pleading. Sighing she caved as she always did when something was important to him and he gave her that look. Slowly she nodded and sat back down her eyes watching the boys shrewdly.  
  
"Only if ya let me do it too." She said simply knowing full well that Alex would never allow her to.  
  
Alex immediately opened his mouth to argue, but shut it looking into that sweet little face. She was perfect the ladies and gentlemen in Manhattan would never suspect her. She could do it without ever getting caught if she was clever and Alex knew she was very clever. He smiled as he leaned back and nodded thoughtfully.  
  
"Alright we're in." Alex said to Frankie and the Wolves began. I never knew about the little pick-pocketing group that, as they got older evolved.  
  
She learned quickly to bat her eyes at the man she stole the pocket book from and he never suspected her. She smiled her dimpled smile and asked him sweetly if he wanted to buy a paper from her. He would reach for his billfold to find it missing. Never once did they believe for a moment it was her as there was always one of the other boys near by to run through the crowd always far enough ahead the police would rarely catch them. It was not very often Alex would sneak out to launch the escape from the refuge.  
  
Luckily for Alex he had never been caught not up until Julia was nearly ten and he a mere thirteen. When Julia came running home to tell me he had been taken to the Refuge and his trial was in the morning I cried. I did not go to the trial, I did not make the fine for him and I refused to let Julia go. I hoped that he would learn his lesson in the few weeks he was to spend in the Refuge.  
  
By the time Alex was fourteen he had become the toughest newsie in New York, I heard the stories on the street of him. I laughed at first at the idea my brother had become the hoodlum that they talked of, but as I saw his expression harden and his cool aloofness appear I knew the stories were true.  
  
My heart began to slowly break, though Julia I never suspected, she continued her usual sweet self for that was the role she played. While Spot Conlon was the boy that would beat you bloody she was the girl everyone adored.  
  
Eventually for Julia's sake I asked Alex to leave just before he took over Brooklyn, actually that was the move that caused him to take over Brooklyn. For he moved into the Brooklyn Lodging House never once say a word of how it was too late to keep Julia out of it. She wanted to move with him, but I refused, I could not refuse however to let her sell with him so she did. Every night Alex would deposit her back on my door step and make his way off to the Lodging House never once speaking to me. I knew from Julia of his movements, I knew the night the fight broke out and the leader of Brooklyn was killed in a drunken brawl.  
  
Alex took the reigns as Brooklyn milled about in an uproar not knowing who was going to take over. Few argued those that did were quickly quieted. It was rumored that Alex had taken the leaders life, but both Julia swore that was not what happened. I believed her for she had been there.  
  
Julia was forever by his side, it was she he asked advice from, she he planned his next moves with, though the boys never knew it for if they did Alex's reputation would have been shot. Together they created the most powerful newsie in New York. Don't get me wrong once Julia was gone he continued just fine on his own, but she had helped to create the legend he would become.  
  
When her father came to take her away it was just as she dreamed. I cried for I could not fight the man, I could not keep her she was not my child, though she was now nearly eleven and she had been mine to take care of for years. Alex fought me as I held him back, but he too knew that there was nothing we could do. We could not deny it, for the hereditary birthmark was on her shoulder and his mother's locket hung from around her neck. The locket he had given her mother when he married her, and left with her when he abandoned her. We thought we were sending her off for a better life, we thought it was what was best.  
  
She came back to us though time and time again, always to Alex at the Lodging House for she knew I would immediately take her back. Alex would hold her until she fell asleep never able to let her go right away. Eventually as she slept he would carry her back to her father's mansion and hand her to the waiting maid who would bundle her off to bed. She was torn between worlds, between her love for Alex and the new life that was unfolding about her. In the world of her father she could never have Alex and he knew that. He knew she was changing, her speech becoming more refined, her manners becoming impeccable, her hair shiny and brushed, her face always clean, her nails shaped and filed.  
  
Finally one day the enviable came and he had to let her go. He knew she wanted both worlds and he would never ask her to give up a life of leisure for him. He loved her and because he did, he did what was best for her. He did what he thought was right, hoping one day she would understand and one day she would forgive him. It was not easy for either of them and in a fit of anger she threw the key to her balcony room at him. A key she had used to sneak out again. She left in anger never looking back. He sadly watched her go. The key he wore around his neck forever a reminder of what she was, who she was, and what he could never have.  
  
I married my husband, a man whose crime connections eventually would include Alex, his circle included the well to do and I watched Julia from afar. I watched them both, both disenchanted with life, both becoming cold, both withdrawing and becoming aloof. Alex was ever the charmer, Julia became known as an ice princess.  
  
The Wolves began to amass a fortune for they had moved to stealing from homes such as Julia's and they began circulating among the rich. All of the boys, now men were suave and charming, the ladies adored them, the men admired them. Each had their own business on the side that would explain their new wealth; each learned the mannerisms of the rich. By day they were wealthy businessmen, by night the most elusive thieves the New York police had ever encountered. I wondered as I watched these events what would happen if Julia and Alex were reintroduced. What would happen for while Alex was becoming rich he was still though of as a scoundrel and would never be suitable for the newly made mayor of New York's daughter. I would get my answer for as it has been previously mentioned, fate would not allow them to stay apart.  
  
  
  
Keza: Hey thanks, I loved this story originally it's set during prohibition and not told by the sister, but by the Nick the main character. I thought I'd give it a different twist. I'm glad you like it and are intrigued. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
  
Angel: My mind never stops turning out idea's for stories, it's crazy! AHHH I don't know what to do with them all. Except write them, hope you like.  
  
Chelci: The muses have conferred and agreed to a Glimmer Fiction. I have to finish Hourglass first so if they have any ideas that tell the end of Hourglass then it won't spoil it. I have to get a good plot going too. ideas are flowing and it's on the storyboard!  
  
Dreamer: Yay a new one for me! I love writing! Glad you liked the beginning!  
  
Rumor: My keyboard is in constant need of cleaning from drool, gross I know, but even I drool over my characters sometimes. Thank you for your compliment about my style. I am amused by it, I was hoping others would be too. Spot is just I don't know I watch him and am intrigued by his stature and presence. Those piercing eyes do a lot for it too! He hehe. Enjoy dahling, let me know if it starts to suck!  
  
Raider: Spot intrigues me as does supernatural thing and gypsies. They seem to go hand in hand. Though in real life the gypsies are just very superstitious people. Let me know how I can help. I'm always ready to lend a hand to a fellow writer!  
  
Crunch: Wow thanks! I thought it would be interesting to have it from someone else's point of view though it has been more difficult than I thought it would be. I'm trying to show how Spot became how he is and that person that no one sees. That only an insider would know. Hope you liked this chapter!  
  
Shortie: Oh you like this one too yay! (giggles at the from the mind that brought us Through the Hourglass. More like heaven help us all!) She is a tad creepy, all those that have the sight are supposed to be though aren't they? Do I get a longer review? 


	4. Reunited

As Julia grew to womanhood her beauty grew as well; she attracted men the minute she reached the age of fourteen. By the time her eighteenth birthday came around all the men desired her, but most were not willing to offer for her. Those that were were not interested in the woman, but the way the woman would look on their arm. As for her strong willed nature and her determination to thumb her nose at the rules of society, well, those could be disciplined out.  
  
I had watched from afar, never really paying attention to the gossip of the women around me. She was always polite and aloof, quiet and refined. Never once would I have imagined the banshee that was really hiding beneath that glossy exterior. As far as I knew she had become yet another debutante, always beautifully arrayed, every hair in place. She was incredibly striking with her mahogany hair and vivid eyes. I was surprised that at the ripe age of eighteen she had not yet married. I figured she was young enough her parents had not yet begun to apply the pressure to choose.  
  
I think what most irritated the upper class was that she was too clever; she was too strong willed, too headstrong, and too proud. It was lucky for her that there was one society matron that embodied all these things as well, Mrs. Vanderbilt-Belmont. A woman who's wit, pride and strength was an equal match to Julia's. They became fast friends and while her father did not like her association with Mrs. Vanderbilt-Belmont, he could not deny her, for it was the only thing that kept society from ostracizing her.  
  
It was actually this woman who brought Alex and Julia back together. For Julia's eighteenth birthday Mrs. Vanderbilt-Belmont hosted a grand party. The ball was to take place at the Algonquin Hotel, a new hotel opened only three short years before. Sumptuous and fashionable I had heard, I had not been in it yet.  
  
Having been the sole Vanderbilt that brought the Vanderbilt's into society, Mrs. Vanderbilt-Belmond did not choose to snub the nouveau riche that the other society matrons did. It was probably because the late Queen of Society, Mrs. Caroline Astor, had also looked upon her as nouveau riche. Mrs. Astor had determined who was part of society and who was not. The Vanderbilts, in her mind, were still too new money and were not to be accepted. Had Mrs. Vanderbilt-Belmont not outwitted her, the Vanderbilt's might never have become part of the elite. So it was no surprise that though we were new money, we had been included in Julia's party. Mrs. Vanderbilt-Belmont wanted the best for her good friend and nothing, but inviting all of society, would do.  
  
It was to be a modest party in comparison to the sumptuous affair of the French ball James Hazen Hyde had hosted months before for his niece. I thought it would probably be best, as the cancan dancer that had been present would probably shock the daylights out of Julia. In actuality she might have joined the dancer on the table just to see the looks on others' faces. I did not understand her behavior as it was then until I look back on it now. Had we known when Julia's father had taken her away what we know now, we never would have entrusted her to his hands. We had thrown her to the wolves and had never even realized it. Alex, too, had been invited, and he was nervous as he readied for it. His hair had been freshly cut, his most expensive tux made ready and his nicest cuff links lay on the bureau. He whistled trying to dispel the feelings rushing about inside him for he knew tonight he would see the woman that Julia had become. The key still hung from his neck, though a gold chain had replaced the string. His eyes were fastened on it in the mirror as he buttoned his shirt, his mind racing with the possibilities of that night.  
  
"That's the second job this month Alex, " Jack cried throwing the door open and startling Alex. "Second job, who ever is undercutting us on these heists could run the chance of putting us out of the market entirely."  
  
"Maybe it's for the best." Richard added as he meandered in rolling a stogie in his fingers.  
  
"Do you ever think of knocking?" Alex asked in irritation as he returned to his dressing. " And what are you talking about second job this month?"  
  
"Where is your mind?" David asked. "We're talking about our little friend that has taken another client from us. If this doesn't stop we may eventually loose all our clients."  
  
"Who in the hell would have the guts to take our jobs?" Marcus sighed, his soft brown eyes looking at all of them as if they could tell him the answer " Whoever it is isn't doing it for money, so why?"  
  
"Revenge, maybe?" David supplied as he straightened his tux from behind Alex. Alex glared at him and turned for his cufflinks.  
  
"Look, I don't know what's goin' on, but I'll ask Nick tonight alright?" Alex told them, ever the person in charge, a little of his old accent coming into his speech. " Kat and Nicky are supposed to meet us at in the lobby of the hotel. If anyone will know anything about this new competition then he will. "  
  
"So whatta we do when we find this new competition?" Marcus asked knowing full well what Alex as going to say, almost anticipating it. For beneath the glossy veneers they each had lay the boys they had been. The boys who had been forced to grow up so quickly, the boys who struggled and fought for everything they ever had.  
  
"They won't be taking any more of our business." Alex replied tightly. "Ain't that right Mushy boy?"  
  
Marcus nodded his smile almost predatory as Alex shrugged into his jacket and took his cane from where it had been propped in his closet. He surveyed the room like a king looking over his subjects.  
  
"Well boys, we'll meet again after the party to discuss this. For now, let's enjoy ourselves, alright?" His voice was once again the polished English he had worked so hard to learn. They all seemed to pull the masks of civility over their faces as they turned to leave the room. Despite their charming demeanor these were men who were hard, tough, and would give no mercy. I shiver now as I think of the man, my brother; yet beneath it all lay a heart of gold. Many might think of him as a monster. I see a man who did what he had to do to survive. And if that made him do things that we might find unconscionable, well, he did what he had to do.  
  
Richard arrived in the hotel lobby first, as he had taken neither a cab nor Alex's chauffer, but had elected instead to drive his own car. As we waited for Alex in the lobby, I listened to those that passed by us. It was my first party with this many of the well to do and I was incredibly nervous. Bless Nick, had I not been with my incredibly charming husband, I would have probably been watching from the corner. I had always felt so incredibly out of place at these things, not that I would have ever let them know. My head was raised, my shoulders squared, my pride firmly covering my unease.  
  
Nick talked with Richard, while I studied those around me with bored interest. The point of these parties, of course, was to flaunt your wealth, and many of the women around me looked like they would sink to the bottom of the Hudson if they were thrown in. The jewels that positively dripped from them almost made me feel underdressed, but then I had always had a taste for simple elegant and still incredibly expensive. My jewels were of the finest quality, my buttercup and pale yellow gown of the finest silk and velvet. It had been created by Worth; the most well respected and incredibly outrageously priced of all designers. A few of the women looked me over and I knew that they knew the expense of my clothing with just that one look.  
  
I noticed a few of the women give appreciative looks to the two men standing with me and I smiled. I had to admit, both Nick and Richard looked incredible in their tuxes. They too were dressed in their finest, their cuff links studded with real gems, their hair artfully cut and styled. We were the rich and powerful now, but sometimes I still had a hard time keeping from staring at the opulence that we could now afford.  
  
I laid aside my thoughts as my brother came waltzing in making the ladies heads turn as he did. His signature smirk was fixed upon his face as he tipped his hat to a bevy of young women sending them into a flurry of fan waving and whispers. He gave me a smile and held out his arms that I laughingly stepped into. I saw the envious glances as he kissed my cheek and smiled.  
  
"Alex, my darling baby brother how ever have you been?" I asked loudly and the room seemed to do a collective sigh of relief. I watched more than one woman point him out to her daughter as we entered the ballroom. He was a handsome man my brother, very handsome and arrogant. He was often whispered about for many believed him to have ties to the criminal world, but no one was able to prove it. Usually he just smiled charmingly. Though considered a rake, the more money he amassed the more he seemed like a good match for their daughters. I could see the dollar signs in their eyes as they looked over his impeccably tailored suit.  
  
I immediately spotted Julia and I could almost believe she was an angel. She was talking animatedly with Mrs. Vanderbilt-Belmont and her husband. Her hand rested gracefully on the back of a chair, the folds of her soft cream dress draped about her, spreading on the floor around her like a perfect blossom. Her hair, which had darkened and become richer with age, was swept upon her head in an artful display of curls, a single cream rose blossom nestled among them. The color of her dress contrasted with her dark hair and accentuated the fairness of skin that had once been browned from days in the sun. The only jewelry she wore was a single strand of pearls that fitted to her slender neck, a set of matching pearl ear bobs, and a pearl bracelet about her right wrist. She stood out among the people like a wild rose in a field of wheat.  
  
I had never seen her so alive as she was that night. Before she had always seemed so cold and distant. As if she did not want to be there and had let her spirit roam free somewhere she would rather be. Perhaps she had, for despite all the training that had been drilled into her Julia would rather have been anywhere than a ball. However, this ball was different; for the first time in years someone had decided to celebrate the fact she was alive, not only someone, but a person who was very dear to her. It was her laughter that made me smile, it was a sweet as the look on her face, but rich and velvety like good ice cream. It was no longer high like a flute, but rich like the strains of a harp.  
  
I heard Alex's indrawn breath and looking at him I realized that he too had caught sight of her. While Richard and the other boys that had now joined us did not recognize the beautiful girl, Alex would. He could never have forgotten her and I saw for the first time in years his eyes glow. He looked away quickly as her head shifted in our direction her keen senses telling her she was being watched. Her gaze passed by us and I heard Alex let out the breath I doubted he knew he was holding.  
  
"You knew she would be here Alex." I whispered. " We can leave now if you want."  
  
"I couldn't no matter how much I want to." He whispered back his eyes telling me what he could not. He was drawn to her as much as she had always been drawn to him. They were like two magnets unable to keep from being pulled together.  
  
"Alex, remember who you are and who she is." I warned. "She is no longer the little girl that you ran about the streets of Brooklyn with."  
  
" I know." He replied, snapping himself from the spell she always seemed to have over him. I saw a young man gesture Alex over from a group of young men that huddled about a table laughing and joking. "Ah, duty calls, business you know."  
  
"Alex, remember what I said." I told him urgently taking his arm. He nodded and kissed my cheek. I could almost hear him say "Yeah, yeah" as he had as a child, for he had never listened to me when he truly wanted something. As I saw him give one last glance to Julia, I knew he truly wanted her.  
  
"Alex, my boy, how are you?" I heard the particularly supercilious young man that had gestured Alex over say.  
  
"I'm doing well, James, and the business flourishing I suppose?" Alex replied and I marveled at how well he spoke, how well he had begun to blend in.  
  
"Well enough, you know with this damned recession going on there is only so much that we can do, but still enough to mange by with." James responded. I wanted to smack him, enough to get by on, I looked at his expensively tailored suite and knew that he had more than enough to get by with. Getting by was having to choose between food and wood for the fireplace. I turned away, ignoring the rest of the conversation.  
  
Their conversation continued for some time until Alex began to get irritated by the airs of James. Finally he steered the conversation toward the subject he had come to get information on.  
  
"James," he began after they had talked about various members of the upper class. "Tell me about the guest of honor, I haven't seen her at many of the town's functions. I don't believe I've had the pleasure of making her acquaintance."  
  
"No, you wouldn't." James told him, looking to his right at where Julia stood, her bored expression obviously unheeded as the women her age tittered to her. " Her parents don't let her get out much; our dear Julia causes too much of a stir."  
  
"Then why have this party at all?" Alex pressed.  
  
"The party was not given by her family, but by that Mrs. Vanderbilt- Belmont. My father says the old hag is a bad influence upon the ladies of today; perhaps that is why Julia acts as she does. If I were her parents, I would have stopped that friendship years ago." James replied.  
  
"I heard she grew up on the streets, one of those ragged children that sell newspapers on the corners. Seems she was kidnapped by a horrible gypsy woman as a baby." Another added. " It would make sense as the girl has no sense of proper decency sometimes."  
  
Alex clenched his fists but smiled, trying hard not to punch the unsuspecting sop. If he started a fight now he'd never hear more, and information is what he had come for.  
  
"Well, if she is as bad as you say then why do her parents not lock her in her room?" Alex forced himself to say. " It would seem that it would be the proper conclusion one would make to such a dilemma."  
  
"If they don't bring her out into society sometime how will she ever find a husband?" James asked giving Alex a look. " Not that most of us are interested, she's a beauty, but high strung and temperamental as hell."  
  
"She's cold as a slab of marble, unreachable, unattainable, and unapproachable." Another confided. " I might have taken a chance, but having seen Luke there flounder I had no desire to try. She acts so common sometimes, but then so incredibly haughty others."  
  
"Not even my parents money could get my foot in the door." Luke replied. " She's untouchable, and does she ever have a temper."  
  
"I had a horse like her one time; I had a terrible beast of a time breaking it. Most men want a woman like Charity Desmond, now there's a real wife for you. She's sweet, obedient, and soft-spoken. Who would want a hellion when they could have an angel?" Alex glanced at the aforementioned Charity. She was beautiful in a china doll sort of way. Flaxen hair and wide cornflower blue eyes, but it was Julia he looked back at. For it was her very life force that made Charity's so dim in comparison. Looking about at his companions he could read between the lines and knew that they wanted her, but had been scorned by her. Their male pride would not allow that so instead they acted as if she were not good enough for them.  
  
"If I wanted obedience I would buy a dog." Alex ground out trying hard not to hit the man that could hold so much sway in his business dealings. The hardest part in learning to deal with the upper class was in learning that he could no longer beat people to a bloody pulp as the whim took him. He had fought to learn control, and eventually gained an iron grip control on everything in his life.  
  
"Well good luck to you, I don't believe anyone will actually be able to tame the shrew." James said raising his glass in a mock salute, "Though I do say, if anyone could it would be you, or perhaps your friend Jack."  
  
Alex turned to see that Jack had indeed made his way to Julia; his hazel eyes smiling down at her in a way that made most girls melt. Julia gave him a bored glance as the other women her age scattered like the geese they were. I saw my brother fighting with the jealousy he figured he had no right to feel. He watched with a queasy feeling as Jack flirted sweetly with Julia. He had to fight a smile as Julia threw her drink in his face and flounced off.  
  
"Not even Jacky boy." He murmured as he turned toward her, trying not to laugh at his friend who was angrily wiping the Champaign from his face.  
  
"Where are you going?" Luke called as Alex moved away from them.  
  
"To show you how to go about getting the untouchable." Alex called back.  
  
"I'll wager ten to one he gets her." Alex heard Richard say and shook his head. Ever the gambler, he hoped Richard would be able to keep his habit from taking his fortune.  
  
Julia stood alone enjoying the moment of peace before her mother and father beset her. She knew she would be chastised for her behavior to the pompous ass that had made a feeble attempt at conversation. Not for the first time she wished for simpler days when she may have gone hungry, but she had been happy. Her face hardened as she thought of the one person that had lived with her in those days that had brought her more happiness than she had ever known.  
  
"And more bitterness." She muttered before shaking her head to clear it of those images long past.  
  
"Does the angel have a name?" she heard a vaguely familiar voice ask. She whirled to give the man the sharp side of her tongue that he might leave her alone and stopped dead when she saw those regal eyes the colors of ice and steel. They were so like Alex's she became flustered.  
  
"If I am who you speak of I am no angel I assure you." She stammered.  
  
"So I hear." Alex smiled at her, taking her hand in his and kissing it. " I don't believe we have been properly introduced, my name is Alexander Conlon, no relation to the Spot Conlon that the papers spoke so lowly of."  
  
Her eyes widened as he spoke his name, her eyes sparkling for a moment, before it was replaced by the bitterness she had spoken of.  
  
"Julia Dubois of the New York Dubois." She said stiffly withdrawing her hand from his grasp and wiping it on the skirt of her dress, as if he was something vile. " If you'll excuse me I have other guests I must see to. I would appreciate it if you never came near me again."  
  
"Don't play those games with me Julia, I knew you when you were a lowly Barranoff." He said, the anger in his voice unmistakable.  
  
"No thanks to you, I am a Dubois now and as such I can not associate with those that are lower than my station, thank you." she sniffed putting her nose in the air like the aristocrat she was trying desperately to be.  
  
"Julia darling, I see you have met our newest member of society," Julia closed her eyes as she heard Mrs. Vanderbilt-Belmont's voice and felt her friends hand on her shoulder. " It is traditional for you to lead off the dancing, Mr. Conlon would you do the honors?"  
  
"I'd love to." He replied smiling triumphantly at Julia, who glowered back. Unable to refuse she took his outstretched hand and allowed him to lead her to the dance floor.  
  
"What are you doing here Alex?" Julia hissed as she plastered a smile to her face and the music started.  
  
"I was invited." He replied. " Though I must admit I was surprised to see your name of the invitation. I had thought you did not go out into society."  
  
"That might be because my beloved parents are afraid I might have an episode and frighten their friends away." She hissed, not having actually meant to speak the words that had been running through her mind. Alex nearly stopped in mid waltz as her words registered. His anger ebbed as swiftly as she had invoked it. Julia was the only person that he had ever been able to forget his anger for.  
  
"What do you mean Jul?" he whispered his eyes meeting hers, the worry in them making her want to tell him everything.  
  
"Nothing except daddy dearest didn't know when he brought me home that I had the ability to embarrass and scare them." She told him her eyes sparkling with anger and resentment. " But then you washed your hands of me six years ago and never looked back, didn't you?"  
  
"That was not my intention." Alex said softly. " You couldn't live in both worlds Julia, you had to choose and I knew you would choose to never leave me. Remember I know all about your episodes, I know what you see is the future, and you made a prediction that included me."  
  
"I don't remember what you are talking about." She replied loftily, though as he saw her look away from him he knew she was lying.  
  
"Julia, can you honestly stay angry with me?" he whispered giving her that look that had always made her cave, " For wanting more than the gutter for you?"  
  
She started to smile and his arm tightened possessively around her waist. As he did her body went rigid and her eyes glassy. For a moment he loosened his grip afraid he had frightened her, but seeing her face go emotionless and her breathing slowing to almost nothing, he knew what was happening to her. She went limp in his arms and he tightened his hold to keep her from sliding to the floor. He glanced to me dancing with Nick only feet away and the paleness of his face frightened me.  
  
"One kiss, my bonny sweetheart, I'm after a prize to-night, But I shall be back with the yellow gold before the morning light; Yet, if they press me sharply, and harry me through the day, Then look for me by moonlight, Watch for me by moonlight, I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way." Her voice came steady and toneless, ageless as it had so many times before as a child, a voice that had frightened all, but Alex. The people around us began to look at her oddly, some even frightened. I looked into Alex's eyes and knew we had to get her out of there.  
  
"Is she alright?" Alex heard, Mrs. Vanderbilt-Belmont asked, but he was already picking her up and striding as swiftly as he could through the crowd.  
  
"Fine, she'll be fine." I said absently as I followed my brother.  
  
"Kat, clear out the powder room or I'll go with all of them in there." Alex ordered taking charge, as he was so good at doing. I scurried along and did as he told. The women looked at me as if I had gone crazy, luckily Mrs. Vanderbilt-Belmont followed me in and we managed to herd them out of the powder room like a bunch of squawking peacocks still primping as they went. Once everyone was out Alex charged in and set her gently on the settee. Her face was still ghostly white as she continued to speak; Mrs. Vanderbilt-Belmont blocked the door from anyone entering, as we listened unable to do anything else.  
  
"He rose upright in the stirrups. He scarce could reach her hand,  
  
But she loosened her hair in the casement. His face burnt like a brand  
  
As the black cascade of perfume came tumbling over his breast;  
  
And he kissed its waves in the moonlight,  
  
(Oh, sweet, black waves in the moonlight!)  
  
Then he tugged at his rein in the moonlight, and galloped away to the west."  
  
"That was the Highway Man." Mrs. Vanderbilt-Belmont said softly as Julia's breath became ragged and her eyes rolled back in her head, then she was still.  
  
"Julia." Alex's voice held a softness I had not heard in years. "Jul, wake up."  
  
Her eyes fluttered tiredly and she looked around her, a sadness coming to her face as she looked at the three worried faces looking at her.  
  
"I did it again, didn't I?" she whispered. " Did anyone see?"  
  
"We got you out in time." Alex assured her. She looked at him tears filming in her eyes.  
  
"Oh Alex." She said her voice breaking. " Why did you make me stay here, why?"  
  
Unable to stop himself he pulled her into his arms and held her, his head bent over hers. Slowly he raised his head and to my surprise I saw something that looked suspiciously like tears in his eyes.  
  
"Why do you hate it so?" He asked quietly " what have your parents done?"  
  
She froze in his arms at the words he had asked. For a moment she stayed that wa, then she pulled away from Alex and looked up. No longer was she that frightened girl, but once again the cool, self-possessed young woman we had seen. Briskly she dabbed at her eyes with the handkerchief Mrs. Vanderbilt-Belmont had handed to her.  
  
"Well, if we stay in here much longer the gossip is really going to fly." She said standing and heading for the door. Mrs. Vanderbilt-Belmont moved out of her way, her eyes worried as we all watched her open the door and step out.  
  
"And Alexander Conlon, I'd appreciate it if you kept your distance." She continued as she paused at the door.  
  
"Julia are you alright?" we heard a woman ask.  
  
"Fine Janet, fine, just a brief fainting spell." We heard her say in a voice we knew held a false cheer. Alex watched the doorway, his eyes narrowed, a look on his face that told me he would get to the bottom of all that Julia was hiding. From the determined look on her face I knew it would be a fight all the way.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Rae Kelly: You requested it so here you go!  
  
Raider: Hmm sorry you don't like this as well as Through the Hourglass. Hope you enjoy this chapter though!  
  
Glimmer: Yay you read it! I think you may have to keep focused I find that I am having to keep focused on it as I write it. So many small details I keep adding in that I think will pan out. We'll see how it goes!  
  
Kathryn Mason-Sykes: I'm not sure what to write because once this is finally posted you will have already read this chapter. Thank you for proof reading it for me. I was beginning to drive myself crazy!  
  
Rumor: Ah, my favorite slave driver, I've got you hooked again! Yay for me! I love your reviews they are so long and in detail. I love the little stories you add in, I am always very amused by them! Thank you! This installment brought to you by JP and her infinite supply of animal crackers and O.J. Thank you JP!  
  
Dreamer: I look forward to reading your gypsy story! I have another brewing in the back of my head for some reason the muses just keep coming up with stories about them! Tell me about time for once I actually have some, I'm loving it!  
  
Angel: My brain agrees with you, it thinks I'm very crazy for writing two stories at one time, but it keeps throwing those ideas out what else can I do? And honey no reading my mind, the muses get upset and then the stop writing about that line of the story and I have to try to get them back on it. Crazy, defiantly crazy! 


	5. Julia

Alex blessedly kept his distance for the rest of the evening, but Julia's brief episode had changed the tone of it. She talked quietly to a group of young women who fluttered about her handing her water and looking concerned. I wondered how much of it was an act, more for my brother's sake than Julia's. She kept glancing around worriedly when she thought no one was looking. I wondered what it was that brought that fear into her eyes. They seemed haunted as she glanced around. Both Alex and I continued to watch, hoping for the answer to the question we could see in each other's eyes.  
  
We would get our answer as the people started dancing again, and Julia's "fainting" spell was forgotten. From across the room, where I was watching unnoticed, I saw her father approach her chair. Even from where I stood I could see the anger in every line of him. He might have fooled the other members of the well to do, but when you've spent your whole life reading people to keep yourself alive and unhurt, you see what the fops around us could not. Her face paled as he put a hand upon her shoulder seeming the concerned father. I saw as he helped her to her feet and led her from the room. She tried to back away for a moment, but his hand clenched around her upper arm, forcing her on. Alex's eyes found mine from across the room and I saw him slip after them. Smiling at the ladies surrounding me I excused myself and followed. I heard the whispers at my odd behavior; a few immediately chalked it up to new money of course.  
  
When I reached Alex, his hand was clenched upon the doorframe where he listened intently to the raised voices within. I could see his fingers and knuckles were white with the force of his grip.  
  
"We should have never allowed this party to happen tonight." I heard a masculine voice exclaim. "You never miss a moment to embarrass us, do you?"  
  
"Father, I never meant..."  
  
"Of course you didn't. You never do, do you?" he continued. Peeking around the corner, I saw Julia seated upon a settee, her head bent, her hands clenched in her lap as hard as Alex's were clenched upon the doorframe.  
  
"Oh yes she does." A female voice took up where her father left off. "She does it on purpose. It's for attention."  
  
"Mother..." Julia began, but was cut off by the shrewish sounding voice that had accompanied her father's.  
  
"Do not address me as such unless we are in public." The woman snapped. "Thank God I did not give birth to you. Why my husband brought you home I will never understand. What were you thinking, Jean-Claude, having relations with that common woman?"  
  
"At least my common mother was able to conceive a child." Julia snapped, finally loosing her temper. I saw her head come up, her eyes glittering dangerously. Two spots of color high in her cheeks signaling the temper that we had ducked for cover from when she was a child. "Then again, maybe your anger is directed at the fact that you know my mother was more beautiful and more of a woman than you could ever be."  
  
"Don't you ever speak to my wife that way." I heard the crack of his hand upon her cheek, and while her head snapped around she did not bow her head again. My wife, he had said. Not your mother, not your stepmother, but my wife. It began to explain a lot.  
  
"Why did you bring me back, Father?" she asked her voice deadly calm, her hand never once going to the bright red spot her father's hand had evoked." It would have been more humane to leave me to die in the streets."  
  
"Don't tempt me girl." He hissed, his hand rising again. "There are days I am sorely tempted to throw you back to that little ragamuffin you wouldn't stay away from. You were my daughter. Despite whatever depraved traits you have inherited from your mother's side of the family, you are entitled to the care I have given you. Make no mistake we will be searching in earnest for a husband, so that my responsibility to you may be given to someone else."  
  
"Is that all I am to you, a responsibility? Forgive me father, for a moment I thought you might have actually loved me. Oh, but then that's right, I've been nothing but a burden since the day you brought me home." She snapped, her face paler than it had been when he had dragged her from the ball. Her eyes were suspiciously bright. "At least that ragamuffin loved me, as did his sister. You took me from a loving family--to this."  
  
"That's right. I took you from the streets, offered you a good home, and every advantage. What the hell was I thinking, keeping you from becoming that filthy piece of trash's whore." Her father yelled. I knew he had done it out of obligation once he realized what Julia was. The words he spoke were coldly calculated to keep making her feel guilty and to keep her in line. She had been such a sensitive child; one that craved love and adoration. We had supplied that in abundance. What a cruel shock it must have been to be sent to this household, to a man who probably would never have loved her even if she had been normal. I could see Julia shrink a little into the settee. It seemed she had come by her temper honestly.  
  
"Grow up, Julia. You have been given a gift in the privileges you now have. With those privileges came a certain role you must play; if you do not you will find yourself back upon the streets where I found you." Her father said in warning already making his way toward the door, his indignant wife in tow. "I'm sending you back to the country house in the morning. Perhaps there you can learn to better control yourself."  
  
Alex swiftly grabbed my arm and pulled me next to him. My heart was thudding in my chest as Mr. and Mrs. Dubois exited from the room nearly bowling into us. I did not know if it was pounding because of the anger that was coursing through my veins or the fear of being caught.  
  
How dare they, I thought. As if she could really control the visions from hitting her.  
  
"Oh, pardon me." Alex said quickly. "Do you happen to know where the restroom is; my sister has not been able to find it anywhere."  
  
"The restroom is at the opposite end of the hall." Mr. Dubois said, look suspiciously at Alex.  
  
"Damn bell man pointed us in the wrong direction." Alex replied blithely. "Alexander Conlon."  
  
I watched in amazement as Alex smoothly introduced himself and moved the conversation toward business. It took only a matter of minutes before Julia's father was chatting amicably away with him. As Alex started to lead me back down the hall, chatting all the way, I glanced back to see Julia sitting with her head resting upon the edge of the settee, her arms covering her face. I could see, just before Alex pulled me out of sight, her shoulders shaking slightly.  
  
"Don't say a word, Kat." He hissed, before depositing me back into my husband's arms.  
  
"Kat, " my husband said quietly, his eyes roaming over my face and the anger that was rolling off me in waves. "What did you do?"  
  
"I did nothing." I replied in a snippy voice. "Tell me about Julia Dubois, Nick."  
  
"Ah, the ice princess get to you, did she?" Nick asked, not understanding in the least what was going on. I had never chosen to enlighten him about Julia's existence. On the rare occasion when I had previously spoken of her, I had satisfied his questions by telling him she had been a childhood friend of Alex's I had kept an eye on when her mother could not. I hadn't lied, I just hadn't seen a reason to enlighten him. "No revenge Kat, promise."  
  
"I promise, now tell me what you know." I demanded. We both knew that Nick kept an ear out and knew all that was going on in society. He also knew all that went on in the criminal world as well. His contacts and information were limitless. Even though Spot had kept up his habit of continuously being informed and still had his "birdies", Nick was always one step ahead.  
  
"Julia Dubois.. from what I hear she was kidnapped by a gypsy woman as a baby and grew up on the streets. At the tender age of eleven, she was brought back into the Dubois family fold. She's a wild child, probably from having spent eleven years on the street. She drinks, she smokes, and she consistently thumbs her nose at societies' rules. She's cold, aloof, and distant; not many are included into her circle of friends, though that may have more to do with her family than with the rest of society. For being eighteen, she's incredibly reclusive. She usually prefers living in her family's estates upstate. From what I've seen, her parents are rather doting. They let her get away with more than most would. Despite all of her exploits, she seems to be very clever; always managing to stay just this side of the line. She knows which side her bread is buttered on. I assume that having lived on the streets she has no desire to go back." Nick relayed the information swiftly. I nodded, snorting at the doting parents part. I knew that was just an act. I smiled at the last part, knowing full well that if she had been given a choice she would be at Alex's side right now.  
  
She re-entered the ballroom, her head held high, her eyes a little red rimmed, but other than that there were no signs of her argument. My heart ached for her. I knew how hard it must be for her to hide the anger and resentment that surely must be eating her alive. I knew there was one person that could help, but I was afraid; afraid for her and for him. If she got involved with him it could very well mean putting her in danger. When I married Nick, I knew that I would spend my whole life knowing that someone at some point might use me to get at those I loved. They knew I could take care of myself. Looking Julia up and down I was not sure she could do the same anymore. I struggled to find the hearty child I had raised in the delicate looking woman before me and found I could not. I was not sure she could survive the cold world that we now lived in, from behind the glossy veneer of our lives.  
  
The rest of the party she was quiet, smiling sweetly and thanking those who attended as they left. She gave me a cool appraising look as Nick and I left; I knew she had realized who I was. For a moment, I could see the resentment sparkle in her eyes, resentment toward me for abandoning her. I glanced at the hand she offered. An emerald winked at me from the third finger of her right hand, and I recognized it as her mother's wedding ring. It's odd setting of swirling gold bands was incredibly beautiful and hard to miss. She smiled coldly and shook my hand, thanking me for coming in a painfully formal way.  
  
That night I couldn't sleep, and wondered about my room trying to quell the feeling that we had failed Julia. I had thought she was happy. I had thought she would be loved and well taken care of. Even if I had known, there would have been nothing I could have done, for she was not my child, nor was she related to me. I doubt even after he had realized Julia's odd abilities he would have let her go. Once he had brought her home, she had become another if his things.  
  
I remembered the bitter sounding voice of Julia's stepmother and knew that she was jealous of Julia and Julia's mother. I knew she had probably tried to make Julia's life hell because of it. There was nothing I could do, nothing that I could change, and nothing that would take it all back.  
  
"Did you get the details of the job before it was taken from us, David?" I heard my brother ask. Glancing into my husband's smoking room, I saw my brother lounging in a red leather-covered wing-backed chair, his leg thrown casually over an arm while he swirled the whiskey in the glass in front of his eyes. His attention was deceptively on the glass, but I knew that his mind was focused on the task at hand. From where his other hand rested upon the key that hung from his neck, Julia was also obviously on his mind.  
  
"It was over on Park Avenue. Wife had jewels that dated back to the sixteenth century; the broad claims they're from her mother's family who was gentry." David told them. "There was also a painting that is a genuine Ruben and a statue that is reputed to be an actual Michelangelo."  
  
"Where do they come up with the money to buy these things?" Richard asked, filling the air with cigar smoke. "The empty excesses of the upper class."  
  
"Coming from the man who blew two hundred dollars at the track yesterday." Marcus teased. "That could have fed us for weeks when we were newsies. Hell, we could have gotten a decent night's lodging for a long time, and good food with that."  
  
"Can you believe we got by on pennies a day?" Jack asked.  
  
"David, what do you know about this competition?" Alex broke in with an irritated tone, effectively bringing them back to the subject at hand.  
  
"I think Nick has a better answer than I do for that." David told him. They all looked to my husband, who had been watching them the entire time silently observing.  
  
"I'm still pretty well in the dark here boys." Nick said "I know nothing about this competition except that they charge less and that they have less people. Actually, I think there are no more than two. From what I have heard, this new group is not afraid to take risks; damn near suicidal. Some of the heists we've seen are nothing compared to what has put them on the map."  
  
"So what do we do about it?" David asked. "We're blind; we practically have no way of catching them."  
  
"Your mouth's getting away with you again." Alex chided. "Come on David, I thought you were the brain here. We have the address and the due date of the jewels and painting. So we know roughly when it is going to go down."  
  
"You aren't planning an ambush, are you?"  
  
"I say we get invited to the lady in question's next ball, which I happen to know is next week." Alex told them, his signature smirk upon his face. We'll check it out and tip off the police to the information we know."  
  
"What if that doesn't work?" Richard asked.  
  
"Then we'll handle it ourselves. We'll get them, boys." Alex promised "If we have to dump their bodies in the Hudson, they wont' be on our turf anymore."  
  
I felt a shiver run up my spine at the words of my brother. Quietly, I made my way back upstairs. When Alex came to wish me goodnight I was in bed, a book in my lap, and a glass of wine in my hand.  
  
"Goodnight, Kat." Alex said gently. The dangerous glitter in his eyes from earlier was gone and replaced by the boyish look that made me think of the innocent little boy he had been.  
  
"Goodnight, you're going home?" it was a question only I could have asked; after all, I had been a mother to him since ours had died when he was young.  
  
"I thought I'd drop by the Dubois home." He told me, giving me a puckish grin. "I never did give her the birthday present I had meant to."  
  
"Is that such a good idea Alex?" I queried. "It's late."  
  
"I suppose we'll find out." He smiled at me. "As for the hour, well, let's just say I have been previously invited."  
  
I shook my head as he swung his key in front of me, reminding me it had been for her balcony.  
  
"Alex, I'm not bailing you out if the lock has been changed and you end up freezing because the guard dogs are barking at you from below the balcony." I warned.  
  
"Yeah, yeah." He replied waving his hand in manner that told me he considered all that child's play. "She needs to know that someone believes this day is special, Kat."  
  
His last sentence told me that her parents' words had bothered him more than he had let on. I nodded, knowing that if I could I would have gone with him. I watched him walk from my room and smiled. Julia was his, had been his, and always would be his. He would take care of her no matter what the cost. It was good to see my brother finally in love rather than in lust. I opened my book, one I had hunted from the library for a special reason.  
  
"The wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees.  
  
The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas.  
  
The road was a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,  
  
And the highwayman came riding--  
  
Riding--riding--  
  
The highwayman came riding, up to the old inn-door."  
  
I picked my journal up from next to me to continue copying it, hopeful that I might decipher the message that Julia had received. I knew the basis of the poem, but I knew that somewhere deep in there was the answer to the riddle.  
  
  
  
Okay first I want to thank Kathryn Mason-Sykes for reading and editing this; unfortunately my brain has this tendency to fix mistakes for me so I can't catch them. Thank you honey! Tell me if you need more time. I think I've sent you a chapter a day to review. Don't let me over load you!  
  
Rae Kelly: I'm glad you love this story, I hope it's different. I was really trying to go for a different plot than has been previously posted.  
  
Raider: I'm a sucker for the bad boy wants girl, but can't have them plot. Though realistically it's true men want what they can't have. The only other thing I can say is they are so weird. Of course, my boyfriend says the same thing about me so what can we do. I am firmly convinced that men and women have different brains. I'm glad you changed your mind and you love this story too! Yay me and thank you!  
  
Ali: (Hands you enough tissue for the next year) Get ready baby, it's going to be another roller coaster ride! Thank you for reading it! As for Spot, I'm beginning to think that as long as I write about him you will be forever reading my work! He he he! Sit back and enjoy, though I'm not promising it to be a tissue free story.  
  
Glimmer: Get more sleep babe! Thank you, if you keep up this flattery I'll never get my head through the door and I will become fat and lazy forever on the computer! It's bad for the neck you know, big heads causes head aches too. Hope you enjoyed this story as well  
  
Angel: Glad you took the time to review! Thank you! Hope you like this one as well!  
  
Keza: The story will be here even if you do get behind! I'm glad you like it! I enjoy details they make writing so much fun sometimes. There were a few explanations as to where things came from in the movie. I enjoyed that part very much. Hope you're still sane, here's your new chapter! Thank you! Glad you like it!  
  
J.P. Well catch up will ya? He he he, sorry had to do it. Write more, I want that more than a review! More Now!  
  
Dreamer: Ah, the Highway Man, my favorite of all poems, except perhaps the Lady of Shallot. I think they're tied on my favorites list. Both of course were made into songs by Lorena Mc Kennitt(sp?), I've been dancing to them for a while now. If you haven't heard them I suggest you check them out. She took the actual poem and added it to song instead of making a song based on them. I love it! As for publishing, this was originally created to be a story set in prohibition with the mafia. I got major writers block on it and wanted to loosen it up so I thought I'd write it newsies style and see if anyone liked it, with a hopeful side effect that I'd get rid of the writers block on the other one. Hope you enjoy it!  
  
Fearless: Yay you like it! As for the whole sight thing, I've never actually seen anybody do that. I've heard of it, but it would be pretty interesting to see!  
  
Rumor: Schmuck another fun word to say, schmuck, it's right up their with gamboling and catawampus. He he he, he is a schmuck though I wholeheartedly agree. He's meant to be. Yes J.P loves me thankfully or you'd never get updates. Thank you hon, I like it, I'm glad you do as well!  
  
Falco: Hey I'd love to read the story based off of my favorite poem. I originally didn't plan on using it, but it fit so well! Thank you I have my own word? Yay! As for Hourglass, glad you enjoyed the ride. Thanks again!  
  
  
  
(Looks around) Did I get everyone? I hope so! Let me know what you thought! 


	6. The greatest day of all

Julia glanced about the ballroom as the last of the people left, the smile she had plastered upon her face now fading. She surveyed the gifts left upon the table for her by people she hardly knew. She turned away from them, thinking of other gifts long ago. While the gifts inside those splendidly wrapped boxes would probably be just as spectacular as the boxes themselves, she found she did not care.  
  
The gifts had not been given because any of the people who had attended her party really cared that she had been born, but because it was expected. The people who attended the party had been anxious to get into Mrs. Vanderbilt-Belmont's good graces. Bless Alva, she had meant well, but though she had tried to make this birthday different it still wasn't as beautiful of a party as the ones she had had in that humble apartment all those years ago.  
  
Tears glittered in her eyes as she stood in front of a window, glancing out at the diamond-studded sky. The wind battered at the hotel trying to breach its warm barriers, howling like a lost soul. Julia shivered despite the warmth of the room. That was what she was, a lost soul. She wanted to howl with the wrath and anguish of the wind, but could not. Slowly she closed her eyes, allowing herself a brief glimpse of memories she had tried to burry so long ago.  
  
"Alex, Alex, it's my birthday." She heard the voice of her seven year old self exclaim in her mind. "Mama said it was the greatest day of all."  
  
Ten-year-old Alex rolled over sleepily, opening one eye at the excited child that was bouncing on his bed with pent up energy. Groaning, he closed his eyes for a moment before sitting up. He ruffled her sleep tangled curls and smiled sleepily at her.  
  
"That's 'cause it is." he replied, his voice gruff with sleep. She stopped bouncing and curled up, her head on her hands as she continued to smile at him. She looked like a dark little kitten, her long hair spread about her like a blanket, her bright green-gold eyes staring up at him with a twinkle.  
  
"We gonna sell today?" she asked "'Cause if we are we're gonna be late."  
  
Alex muttered an expletive as he jumped from the bed, hastily pulling his pants on as Julia bounced out of the room on her way to wake me, he supposed. He looked from his suspenders, which were laying haphazardly over the edge of his bed, to the door.  
  
I had been out late that night working and he knew I needed sleep, pulling his pants up to keep them from falling he ran after the little pixy, catching her just as she swung open my door.  
  
"Kat's sleepin' Jul, let her sleep." Alex told her quietly. Her lip quivered for a moment, her eyes filling with a hurt look. He felt his heart sink. He hated it when she got that look.  
  
"But it's my birthday." She whispered. "It's a special day, right?"  
  
"It's a very special day." Alex replied tugging on her arm, trying to get her to follow him. "But Kat's been working late, she needs some more sleep."  
  
"As if I could sleep through that banshee's wailing." I growled, rolling over and blinking eyes still not ready to open after three hours of sleep. "Come here baby, give me a kiss."  
  
Squealing with delight, a move that made me wince, she complied, and I found myself on the receiving end of the bouncing bed.  
  
"What do you say Alex, should we make her wait until tonight or should we let her open her gifts now?" I asked, throwing my brother a tired thankful smile. I knew he had tried.  
  
"I say now." Julia cried.  
  
"I say one now and the rest tonight." Alex bargained. I smiled and nodded my approval. Julia couldn't decide between excitement and disappointment. I smiled as I motioned for Alex to take a small gift from my bureau. Excitedly, she ripped into it and found three delicately embroidered handkerchiefs.  
  
"Thank you." she said, her eyes wide as she held up the grown up gifts. Little girls, I had told her over and over again, did not need pretty handkerchiefs when she begged to use mine. They were not much, but her obvious delight made me grin. The best and more expensive gifts would be for later, but for now she had something to wet her appetite with. Smiling puckishly, she jumped from the bed. We watched in amusement as she walked a few paces to the door and stopped, one of the handkerchiefs held delicately between two fingers. I almost had to stifle a laugh as she dropped it and looked the other way before starting for the door.  
  
"Where did she learn that?" I chuckled, looking at my brother who shrugged and smiled back before jumping from his spot on the bed.  
  
"Miss?" Spot asked, assuming a serious face. "Miss, I believe ya dropped this."  
  
Julia struggled not to giggle as she turned around and batted her eyelashes at him.  
  
"Why thank ya, sir." She said, her voice high like the rich ladies on the street that they passed each day. Her eyes were twinkling like stars as he took her hand and kissed it. She giggled as he flourished the handkerchief, but scowled when he did not hand it back. "You're not doin' it right. Ya supposed to hand it back now."  
  
"Finders keepers." He teased, holding the handkerchief high and out of her reach. I let them argue about it for a moment before breaking it up.  
  
"Alex, Julia, you are late." I told them. They both blinked at me for a moment and then together ran from the room. From the racket I could hear them making I knew they were scurrying about, finishing getting ready.  
  
"'Bye, Kat." I heard my brother yell.  
  
"Alex, come back here." I cried hoping that they hadn't left yet. Judging from the fact that I had not yet heard the door slam hard enough to nearly knock itself from the hinges, I knew they probably hadn't.  
  
Alex poked his head back in my room, his hand still tightly clenched about the handkerchief. I knew in the rush to get ready she had forgotten that he had it.  
  
"Take some money from its hiding spot and buy Julia breakfast and lunch." I told him before curling back up in my bed. "Take enough for a nicer restaurant at lunch than McKinney's."  
  
"Okay." He replied. I watched as he made his way to my wardrobe door and opened it. Carefully he counted out money and put it in his pocket.  
  
"Are you going to give her back her handkerchief?"  
  
"Nope, I'm gonna keep it." he smiled impishly at me.  
  
"Why?" I asked as he headed for the door.  
  
"Don't know." He replied, before he shut the door softly behind him.  
  
  
  
  
  
Quietly, she blinked away tears as she took a worn handkerchief from the small purse she wore about her wrist and dabbed at her eyes. The embroidery was now faded and the cloth no longer stark white. She smiled sadly at the piece of cloth in her hands.  
  
"They did love me." She said to herself. "Even if they don't anymore, they did."  
  
"Who did what dear?" the voice of an elderly woman asked, startling her out of her reverie.  
  
"Nothing Alva, nothing." She replied. "Thank you for the lovely party."  
  
"Your father berated you for your spell, didn't he?" Alva asked, patting Julia's shoulder. "Don't answer that, I know he did. I must admit there was a silver lining to it though."  
  
"Enlighten me." Julia sighed, giving her friend a tired smile.  
  
"That handsome Conlon boy has taken quite an interest in you." Alva responded. Julia looked to her and she could practically see the wheels turning.  
  
"Don't you dare Alva." Julia cried. "You are not to play matchmaker. You cannot begin to understand the complications of letting that man into my life, nor do I care to enlighten you as to why. Please refrain from asking about him or speaking of him. I will not be forced into a marriage, nor will I fall for manipulations like your daughter did."  
  
"I'm sorry child. I worry about you though; you must marry some time soon or you stand the chance of living as an old maid." Alva said, her face telling Julia she had been taken aback by Julia's sudden venom. Julia looked away, immediately repentant.  
  
"Forgive me, darling." Julia sighed, "You went to all the trouble of this wonderful party for me and I am attacking you."  
  
"Don't think of it again," Alva told her, affectionately patting her hand. "I must say though, I wish my daughter had half of the spit fire you do. She would have been much more interesting to raise."  
  
"You do love your daughter don't you?" Julia asked, her attention on the view outside the window.  
  
"Of course child, would I have gone through all I did to marry her to a Duke had I not loved her?"  
  
"You could have done it for the prestige, and something else to rub the late Mrs. Ashton's nose in." Julia told her giving her a sharp glance.  
  
"I will not lie and tell you those thoughts weren't in my mind, but I do love Consuelo." Alva said gently. "I'm not your father, and I wish I had been your mother."  
  
"I had a wonderful mother, Alva," Julia confided. "I loved her very much. Despite the rumors and lies that my father has spread, she was my mother. She loved me, and entrusted my care to another woman that I loved very much. A woman I had thought would have given her life to care for me."  
  
"We all have our regrets and troubles from our youth, but my dear I'm afraid yours will eat you alive. " Alva's voice was worried as she looked at her young friend. "You must learn to let go of your anger and bitterness or you will become a very unhappy woman."  
  
Julia nodded her head and turned put the smile once again in place. She patted the comforting hand on her arm.  
  
"Thank you Alva, it was a spectacular party." Julia said brightly. "I see my father beckoning me. I will be returning to the country tomorrow, do visit me if you have a chance."  
  
"I will, child. Think on what I said." Alva responded, knowing that if she continued to lecture her young friend it would fall on deaf ears. Servants gathered up the beautifully wrapped presents and carried them from the room as Julia exited with the air of a queen. "I pray Mr. Conlon continues his attentions, for he is the first person in the length of time I have known you that has brought color into your cheeks and a sparkle to your eye."  
  
Julia did not hear the words she would have scoffed at as she hissed against the bitter wind that seemed to blow right through her. She took the hand her father offered and got into the shiny new car her father had just purchased. Her stepmother sniffed irritably, but refrained from making any other acknowledgement to Julia's existence. It was a strained and silent ride to the town home the Dubois owned, and as she climbed the stairs to her room, she sighed in relief that the night had finally ended. At least, that is what she though until she entered her room. An arm snaked about her waist, and a hand clamped down on her mouth before she could even think of shrieking in alarm.  
  
"Miss Julia, are ya okay?" the lilting brogue of her ladies maid called through the door. She had already been informed by the chauffer of the outcome of Julia's birthday gala and did not wish to invoke the wrath of her mistress. She had had more than enough of a taste of Julia's temper in the past to know that it was best to leave her alone. Had she not heard the thump and sudden gasp just before the door shut she would not have bothered Julia at all.  
  
"Tell her you are fine." A harsh male voice hissed in her ear.  
  
"I'm perfectly fine." Julia called out, her heart pounding, her mind still working to try and think.  
  
"Would you like me to help you undress, Miss?"  
  
"No, Ally, not right at the moment. If I need you I will ring for you later." Julia replied as she felt her capture tighten his hold. Both listened for the receding footsteps. As they moved down the hall, her capture released her and she whirled to face him. Her eye widened as she looked into the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. They were like the sky at the end of a summer storm. Soft gray touched with a brilliant blue. His mouth was turned up in a smirk as he stepped back and sat against the edge of her mahogany dressing table. Her eyes narrowed as he ran his fingers through his rich, light brown hair, the blonde highlights now gone, as he no longer spent all of his days in the sun. His skin was no longer as tan, but he was still just as ruggedly handsome as he had been all those years ago.  
  
"Alex. I might have known you wouldn't take no for an answer." Julia spat. Alex could almost see the hair on her back rising and her back arching like an irritated cat. "I would have never thought you would take to assaulting women in their rooms. I suppose though you can't help it, what with your common upbringing and all."  
  
"If I remember correctly, your upbringing was just as common, Julia." Alex replied coolly and calmly, not a trace of anger in his face or eyes, though Julia could sense it. She smiled coldly. If there was one thing she was good at, it was getting under Alex's skin. She might have been a little out of practice, but she had been practicing it since the age of three.  
  
"Yes, but your blood is common, dirty common." Julia sneered. "My blood comes from the nobility of Europe."  
  
"Nobility my foot." Alex responded raising one eyebrow. " Your blood is also from that of a common gypsy woman. Your arrogant act might put off the fops at your gala tonight, but I know you Julia. If your nose goes any higher however, you might be careful about going out in the rain. You might drown."  
  
"Leave, Alex, before I bring the servants running. For in about ten seconds I will begin screaming bloody murder." Julia snapped, running out of patience with the banter.  
  
"Tell me, Julia, how then will you explain that I entered here through the balcony with a key?" Alex asked triumphantly. "A key you gave me. If I tell the servants and your father that I was here on your invitation, how would you ever be able to deny it?"  
  
"If you think I care what my father or the servants think you are sorely mistaken. " Julia replied levelly. Alex stood as she opened her mouth to call his bluff and, unable to think of anything else at the spur of the moment, he grabbed her arm and hauled her up against him. His mouth descended on hers as she took a deep breath, ready to bring the whole house crashing in upon them. He heard her sharp indrawn squeak as he expertly kissed her. For once in his life Alex had caught her entirely unaware and unable to react. Gently, unwilling to scare her, he kissed her until the hands that were pushing against his shoulders trying to free herself gripped his jacket in fists. Until the mouth she had tightly clamped shut upon his unfamiliar kisses softened and she melted against him. He had not been expecting a response and heard his own utterance of pleasure when she tentatively did. The kiss continued until he broke away from her, afraid of loosing the control that was rapidly slipping.  
  
"Julia," he said, softly pushing her back. Unable to keep his arms from dropping away, he did what he knew would make her pull away before he did something they might both regret. "You ought to have been taught better than to kiss a man with a bed only feet away."  
  
She looked at him, eyes wide and soft; they darkened as his words sunk in and she pushed him away.  
  
"I believe you were taught better than to assault a woman in her private chambers." Julia scoffed. "Oh wait, forgive me, you were taught to take what you wanted with whatever brutal force was necessary. Why are you here Alex?"  
  
"To give you this." He replied, taking a small box from his jacket pocket and setting it on her dressing table. "I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. It is, after all, the greatest day of all."  
  
Julia gasped at the familiar words and he smiled at her, a smile that warmed those icy eyes. No matter how much her mind may have wanted her to stop him, her heart could not as he gently tilted her head up again. Only one finger held her chin, giving her the option of turning away as he placed a sweet and gentle kiss upon her lips. He stepped away, his hand brushing her cheek in a gesture as tender as the stroking of her hair when she had been a child. As sweet as the comforting he had given her after a nightmare.  
  
"It will be okay now, Julia." He whispered. It was as if he knew what she was thinking, in uttering the same words he had during those nights when she had been too terrified to go to sleep to again. She nodded, as she had then, and he turned away, stepping to the balcony doors and disappearing before her mind could take control of the situation again. Once it did, she could do little more that shut the doors he had left open and turn back to where they had stood. The little box caught her attention and, slowly, she opened it. Inside, nestled on a velvet pad, was an amethyst, her birthstone, its vivid lavender touched with a soft blue sheen.  
  
"An amethyst is for love and friendship, Julia." She heard her mother's voice echoing from the past. "May your love be one of friendship as well."  
  
  
  
Angel: I like this Spot too, thank you! Hey re-email your story, I accidentally erased it! Sorry! I didn't mean to I just clicked on it and emptied the trash before I realized what I had done. I just went to read it and found it was gone. BAD me! Well here's a new chapter to enjoy I hope that makes up for it somewhat.  
  
Rumor: I always see Spot as smooth. One smooth talking S.O.B as a matter of fact. I've read the Anne of Green Gables books over and over. I don't believe HM is in there though the LS is many times, it's her favorite poem. She always talks about wanting golden hair like Elaine (the LS). Schmuck, you've got me saying it in the car. Usually it's drive it or park it asshole, lately it's been you stupid schmuck. HE HE HE!  
  
Rae Kelly: Okay here's more!  
  
Kathryn Mason-Sykes: More for you to work with I hope it isn't too bad! Glad you liked it sweetie. 


	7. The sight

A/N: I did some research for this chapter on the customs of the Gypsies, known also as the Romany. If there is anything here that seems off or offends anyone let me know. I tried to keep it as close to the traditions that I found online as I could. The site that seemed the most reputable was www.patrin.com. Again let me know, I'm perfectly willing to change anything to reflect the true customs and beliefs of the Gypsies.  
  
  
  
  
  
Alex smiled softly as he hopped the fence; he glanced from side to side as he landed on the balls of his feet as graceful as a cat. Satisfied that there was no one to see him, he turned and looked back at the house where one lone windowsill blazed with light on the upper floors of the house. The curtains billowed in the frigid wind and he waited until he saw Julia's outline against the curtains as she shut the door. She paused for a moment, her hand going to her head and he winced, knowing what that meant. Unable to help her he turned to walk down the street, too lost in his own thoughts to think about calling for a cab. It had been years since he had walked these streets at the dead of night and he found that he missed the calming effect.  
  
Julia's episodes were usually followed by migraine headaches; his mother had the same problem. It expended so much energy when the episodes came on; some times she hadn't woken up for days. A shiver that had nothing to do with the wind brought a ruddy color to his cheeks and the tips of his ears. It had only happened one time in his memory that she had not woken up after a vision.  
  
"Mama, Mama." Spot shivered again as Julia's panicked cries filled his mind. "NO, ya can't leave me."  
  
He paused, leaning against the stone wall as he let the memory take full control.  
  
"Jul," he cried, fearful for the first time of her visions. Generally when the sight took her awake, it was in the form of words spouted in a riddled form. When a true vision hit her, it was at night in her sleep. Only on rare occasions did it take the form of a vision while she was awake.  
  
"What's wrong, Alex?" our mother cried, as she saw him enter with Julia in his arms and his face sheet white. Julia's little face was just as pale, the glassiness of her eyes telling my mother what had happened. Julia stared straight ahead at something only she could see.  
  
"MOMMA!" Julia shrieked, fighting against his arms and almost making him drop her. Hastily he dumped her on the bed he slept on in the living room. Tears streamed down her face as her expression contorted into one of hopeless pain. "Momma," She sobbed. Alex brushed her hair back from her sweat-beaded brow and looked helplessly at our own mother.  
  
"Don't wake her, Alex." Our mother said worriedly as she knelt next to Julia. "She must wake herself; it is dangerous to wake one while the sight has them."  
  
Julia let out a heart-wrenching moan as her eyes closed and her body went slack. Slowly her eyes fluttered shut and she laid still, tears streaming from her closed lids.  
  
"Ma?" Alex asked, raising worried eyes to her. She shook her head, the fearful look on her face making Alex nervous.  
  
"Leave her be Alex. I've not seen a vision this powerful since me ma was alive." She whispered, patting his hand gently. "I'm afraid to touch her. Let her sleep; she'll wake up soon enough and tell us what she saw."  
  
Alex nodded and moved away from her. Quietly he sat in the old worn armchair that had been my fathers. He watched vigilantly as the day wore on. Our mother checked in him from time to time, but he was always in the same position; his eyes on Julia's face, worry etched in them. Finally, as dusk started to fall, he snuck to the bed and curled up on it facing her. Gently he brushed a stray hair from her waxy, pale face. He did not know what had happened, but he knew that her voice had been so full of pain and panicked. Unsure of what else to do he took her hand in his, offering what comfort he could. Her fingers curled against his, holding his hand as he held hers.  
  
Darkness had fallen and I returned from work to find them both curled up, Julia's head on Alex's shoulder, their hands still intertwined. My mother stepped from the kitchen, her face expectant. It fell when she saw that it was me. She looked to the sleeping form of her son and the girl she looked on as a daughter tearfully.  
  
"What's wrong, ma?" I asked fearfully, looking from the peacefully sleeping children to my mother. Before she could answer, however, a knock came at the door, softly, hesitantly. Grimly my mother opened it, having already guessed what Julia's vision had meant. I stood behind her shoulder as she answered the door, confused and worried, knowing something had happened.  
  
"Is the daughter of Olga Baranoff here?" a man asked, his face tired and sad. "The landlady downstairs said she might be here."  
  
"She is sleepin' now, what can I help ya with?" my mother returned with a question of her own.  
  
"I really must speak with the daughter."  
  
"She's little more than four years old and she's had quite a shock today. I'd hate to wake her." My mother's voice was firm and she did not open the door to admit the man, as I was sure he had wanted her to. Slowly he nodded and held out a hand-died piece of cloth, its brightly colored roses unmistakable. Olga had worn it tied about her hair at all times, binding her dark curls from her face. She had told us one time that it had been a gift from her mother, the only bit of gypsy heritage she owned any longer. Just as unmistakable was the dark stain that covered one part of it.  
  
"There was an accident at the mill; she got caught in the wheels of the flour grinder." He said softly, as if he could soften the blow. "Can I take the little one to her next of kin?"  
  
"We are her next of kin." My mother said, stiffly accepting the piece of fabric. He nodded and turned to go. Swiftly my mother grabbed his arm and he looked at her expectantly. "Was it painful?"  
  
"Honestly?" the man replied, "Very. She did not die until the doctor reached the mill. It took a while before we could get one of the people free to get one. The manager of the mill just wanted her pulled out so we could continue on with our work, the bloody bastard. Tell her daughter she said that she would always be with her. She said that she loved her and not to cry for her."  
  
My mother nodded, letting go of his arm to let the man walk down the hall and disappear down the stairs. Slowly she turned, shutting the door and leaning against the armchair that Alex had been sitting in, tears in her eyes as she looked upon the two sleeping children.  
  
"Will you wake her ma?" I asked, softly placing a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"No, there is no need." My mother told me sadly. "She knows."  
  
"How?"  
  
"She saw it." my mother said simply. I looked back at the bed to find Alex staring at us with wide eyes. He looked away and placed a hand around Julia's waist, wrapping both his arms around the sleeping girl. It had been nearly a week before her exhausted body had woken, and by then we had already buried her mother. We could not wait, as the body would have decayed too rapidly. It was better that way though, as she did not have to see the mangled mess her mother's body had been. We took her to her mother's grave as soon as she woke and let her say her goodbyes.  
  
Alex watched as she took a blood red dress from the chest we had moved into our apartment just after her mother's death. Its white embroidery was intricate and beautiful.  
  
"Are you sure you would not rather wear this?" my mother had asked, pointing to the black dress we had bought from a second hand vendor while Julia had still been sleeping.  
  
"The Romany wear red or white to a funeral." She replied tonelessly looking up at my mother with eyes that had already seen too much. "Red brings good luck, as blood is the source of vitality and life. White is for purity, protection, and good luck."  
  
We knew she was reciting from the learning of her mother's heritage she had been taught. We watched as she finished dressing and left my mothers room. Slowly, the small child walked from our apartment and next door into the rooms in which she had lived with her mother. We had not yet moved everything, as we did not know what she might want to keep. Slowly she dragged a chair from the kitchen table to the cupboard against the wall. Methodically she opened it and took the few dishes they had. We watched as she began dropping them to the floor to shatter.  
  
"Julia?" my mother cried as she rushed forward, worry creasing her brow. Julia jumped from the chair and moved to a small china vase, knocking it, too, to the floor.  
  
"The Romany break all that might tie the dead to the earth." She replied in the same toneless manner. Alex came to her side, taking a glass from the sink that she was struggling to reach, and smashed it on the floor. One by one, she broke her mother's things that were breakable, setting aside a few items. My mother swept up the glass as they went placing it in the wastebasket. I helped Julia gather up her mother's clothes and carry them to the waiting fire at our apartment where one by one we fed them to the fire. Finally, there was only a box, of what little jewelry her mother had owned and the few other valuables her mother had amassed in her life.  
  
"Mama told me to keep this, for it was never meant to be hers." She said softly, as she took her mother's wedding ring from the meager amount of jewelry that sat before her. She slipped it on the chain that held the locket she always wore.  
  
"Sell the rest." She told my mother. "Keep whatever you can get; it'll pay for what I take from ya by living here."  
  
"Is there nothin' here ya want?" my mother questioned, her lilting Irish brogue hesitant.  
  
"No, the Romany sell what they do not destroy of the dead." She sighed, "Now I am ready to see Mama's grave."  
  
Alex closed his eyes. He could still feel the ghost of that small hand in his as he held it while she looked down at the small stone slab that marked her mother's existence.  
  
"Kathal ves'tacha." She whispered.  
  
"What does that mean?" Alex asked, squeezing her hand.  
  
"Go gently, beloved." She replied. "She won't become one of the muló, an evil spirit, now."  
  
"How do you know, child?" my mother asked in curiosity. "How does one become an evil spirit?"  
  
"They want revenge on the living, but Mama told me that she did not want revenge, that she was happy and she loved me." Julia said earnestly. We did not ask how she knew that, for we all knew how her mother had communicated to her before her death. We watched as she took a small thorn bush she had asked my mother to buy for her and planted it over her mother's grave. When we asked, she told us that the Romany believed that planting a thorn bush would protect the survivors of the deceased from the evil spirits that might come from the dead body.  
  
"Kathal ves'tacha." She whispered one last time and turned from her mother's grave. We followed the small red clad child back to our apartment.  
  
The honking of a horn brought Alex into the present. He shook his head. So many memories were tied up with her. He wondered if she still remembered any of her gypsy heritage, or if her father had taken that from her as well. Slowly, he pushed away from the wall and hailed the taxi that was passing by him. He doubted she would be leaving for the country tomorrow; he doubted she would be able to leave. Her headaches varied, depending on the frequency of the sight's visits and the strength of the episode. From what he had gathered, Julia had tried to suppress it; something she had never done living with them. The less she used it, the worse the headaches would be. Our mother had once described it as like using a muscle that had not been used in a while. It would at least give him a little more time to get further in Julia's good graces. His town home was silent as he entered it; none of the gang was there to bother him, and the servants had been told not to wait up for him. Quietly he made his way back up to his room and began the nightly ritual of getting ready for bed. His mind was whirling like a tornado as his head finally touched down upon the pillow and he lay awake, thinking of Julia.  
  
They were two different people from the same background, but with vastly different lives now. The path he had chosen had been one of crime; a business that had eventually paid very well. He knew he would have to get out of it sooner or later, but as of right now, he enjoyed the power of it too much. He could destroy Julia; his business associates would love to get at the beautiful young woman. He closed his eyes as worries filled his mind. He remembered the fire she had displayed in her bedroom and smiled. He would see if she could handle his life. If she could not, he would cut her free. If she could, they would continue.  
  
In the mean time, he had a rat to catch; a rat he was completely intent upon finding and meting out the punishment that was duly deserved. He was in for the surprise of his life.  
  
  
  
Bottles: I am very glad you enjoy my writing. I will address the Wolves and their competition in the next chapter I hope, the muses keep even me guessing sometimes.  
  
  
  
Keza: No the Highway Man is not a happy ending poem; it did seem so apropos though. He is a very smooth talking bastard, I love it! Watch out for those walls though they can be very painful. Fearless: Here's more, more, more, well maybe just more, but hey, I tried.  
  
Angel: Ah, Alex, the guy we all want, and all wish we had. Thank you for resending that story. I'll try to start it today.  
  
Ali: MMMMh the kisses, oh do I want one of his kisses. Here's another dose of sanity for your amusement. Well a dose of fiction anyway, I'm not sure how sane it can keep you. It doesn't keep me very sane.  
  
Rumor: Honey the drooling joke never gets old, because I spend much of my time drooling over my own character. We have so much fun with the hanky dropping it at festivals that I couldn't help but add it. True old- fashioned flirting always makes me smile. It's great when the guys don't understand, but their moms do and they've got mom yelling at them to pick it up. They give us this look like they have no idea what in the hell we dropped it for and we turn on the charm. It's so fun, that and the mirrors on the toes, he, he, he. I'm evil, I know, and I love it! He is a doll, oh and the amethysts are really for love and friendship, I've always wanted my engagement ring to be one for that very reason. I think I may add some part with an emerald as those were thought to give the ability to see the future. Hmmmm, the ideas are flying.  
  
  
  
Raider: I think we all want a guy like that.  
  
Falco: Oh, honey I'm sorry, I must have posted this before I got your review. Thank you! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! How could poor Jul, ever survive against the charm that is Spot? I wish I had the power, but even I get all twittery sometimes over him and I'm writing him. Thank you for your review and I'm sorry again. Waffles?  
  
Dreamer: I like him; I'll be waiting for your e-mail impatiently. I can't wait. Yay more time for you to write!  
  
Chelci: Well if it seems like a novel then I must be doing something right since I originally wrote the first one to be a novel. I may still try to make it into a real one; my writers block seems to be clearing up nicely.  
  
Skittles: I'm glad you caught those little things. I loved it too. I hope you enjoy this as much as you seemed to enjoy TTHG. Thank you honey, hey send me info for the Glimmer fiction. I think I can add you in. 


	8. Tonight!

Julia was awakened by the bang of the door against the wall as someone threw it open. There was only one person that entered her room in such a dramatic way and Julia rolled over, covering her pounding head with a soft down pillow.  
  
"Get up, get up, and get up, you ungrateful wretch." Her stepmother's sweet, high-pitched voice grated on her nerves worse than nails on a chalkboard.  
  
"My head." Julia groaned, hoping against hope that it might detour the whirlwind that sped about her room opening the tightly drawn curtains and admitting the dreaded sunlight into the airy room.  
  
"You brought it on yourself." Her stepmother said unsympathetically, as she pried the pillow from Julia's hands and threw it to the end of the bed. Julia opened one eye to see Ally trailing after the petite blonde woman. Julia sat up groggily, grabbing her head as a pain shot through it, causing her eyes to water in its intensity.  
  
"Gwendolyn, what are you doing?" Julia asked softly, her hand still clasped to her head as dresses came flying from the wardrobe to land on the floor in puddles of silk, satin, georgette, and velvet.  
  
"Get up, where is that dress?" her stepmother responded, her head still in the wardrobe. "Ah ha, here it is."  
  
The satisfaction on her stepmother's face made Julia nervous as Ally helped her from the bed, a sympathetic look on her face. Julia's attention, however, was focused on the golden haired woman that reminded Julia sharply of the stories Alex's mother had told her of the little people. If there was ever a fairy sent to torture Julia it was Gwendolyn Dubois. Spilling over her arms was a trailing mass of peach satin and white georgette.  
  
"Dress her in this and do something with that hair." Gwendolyn instructed as she walked across Julia's entire wardrobe, which was now on the floor, kicking a bit of silk out of her way as it caught on her dainty kid slippers. Ally accepted the dress and nodded as Gwendolyn turned on her heel and strode from the room.  
  
Julia sat on the bed, her pounding head in her hands, not knowing what was going on, but knowing headache or not there was no way she was going to get out of going where ever Gwendolyn had planned.  
  
She closed her eyes as she allowed Ally to help her back up from the bed and begin the pushing and prodding that always constituted dressing. Finally dressed and her hair artfully arrayed, a hat firmly pinned to her hair, she was ready. Ally appeared from Julia's private bath and handed her a bottle. Smiling gratefully, she took a healthy dose of laudanum, hoping the opiate would help her through this day.  
  
Neither her father nor her stepmother said a word to her as they hustled her out the door and into the waiting car. Julia squinted against the glare of the bright sun and winced. Once she was settled in the car, she laid her head back, hoping for a moment to rest her head before they got to their destination. Wherever it was, it didn't look like it was going to be the country house. She wondered what had changed her fathers mind enough to take her back out into society after last night's disaster.  
  
They hustled her from the car just as they had hustled her into it and Julia allowed them to pull her along. The laudanum was beginning to truly take effect and it was beginning to fog her mind. Looking onto the grassy field, she saw that they had decided to take her to a polo match. Why in the hell would they hustle her out of the house to go to a polo match? Groggily, she watched as her father strode over to a man standing next to the field and shook his hand. The talked for a moment until her father motioned that she join them and Gwendolyn propelled her over.  
  
She registered that her father was talking to Mr. J.P Winthrop, a business associate. A handsome young man stood to his right, an uncertain look upon his face. He wore a polo uniform and it did not take much of her brain to understand what was happening. Her father was making good on his promise to set her up with a husband so that he might wash his hands of her. She vaguely remembered meeting the youth the previous night at her birthday gala and the brief dance she had had with him. He was watching her with combination of awe and lust. She assumed, knowing she wouldn't be far off, that Mr. J.P Winthrop had asked that she attend the polo match at the request of his son.  
  
Despite her many exploits, her father was still a wealthy and powerful man as the recently elected mayor. What man would not agree to his son's interest in a woman that might be a little on the precocious side, but had a father with so many connections?  
  
She smiled cordially as they were introduced; he seemed like such a nice, sweet boy that she could not find it in her heart to reply in her usually caustic manner. Of course, the fact that she was highly drugged and desperately trying to keep her father from realizing it might have played a part in it. She nodded and made the appropriate gestures; eventually she was led off to the side of the field to her seat, where she was allowed to sit. Her stepmother was smiling like a Cheshire cat and Julia had to curb the desire to grab the nearest cane from a passing gentleman and attack her like a frightened leprechaun with his shillaly.  
  
I watched from a little ways away, noticing the fact that Julia was not entirely steady on her feet. The peach silk of her dress, overlain with fluttering white georgette, seemed to intensify her headache-induced pallor, and bring out the dark circles that haunted her eyes. While the dress no doubt would be beautiful on her any other day, it made her seem fragile and sickly today, in a beautiful and tragic sort of way. Her stepmother, on the other hand, looked radiant in her powder blue dress. I wondered if it had been planned that way. Alex rose from his chair next to me as he caught sight of her and I shook my head, watching him make his way over to them.  
  
"Good Afternoon Ladies, beautiful day for a polo match, don't you think?" Julia's head raised slowly as the pounding in her head began to intensify at that deep voice that sent chills down her spine.  
  
"Just perfect." Her stepmother replied brightly as Alex bent to kiss her hand.  
  
"You couldn't possibly be the mother of the beautiful girl to your right could you?" Alex said smoothly. Her stepmother tittered in a flattered way and smiled coyly at him, Julia had to fight to keep from gagging.  
  
"Only by marriage." Gwendolyn replied in a sweet flirting tone. Julia rubbed her temples harder. She was caught between not wanting to deal with Alex, or the emotions he caused to fly around like butterflies in a fluttering about a field, and wanting to shove something in Gwendolyn's mouth to stop her idiotic responses and tittering laugh. She closed her eyes against the sight of Alex as he bent his handsome head, his eyes twinkling at her stepmother and the unmistakable lust in the older woman's eyes. Alex flashed that smirk, knowing the effect it would have and Julia had to fight from slapping him in jealousy. She fought it down, not wanting to care, and yet unable to stop herself; the heart never listens to the mind. Incapable of taking it anymore Julia stood and quietly excused herself, trying to clear her spinning head as she started in an aimless direction away from them.  
  
I watched as Alex looked up, watching her go with a look of concern on his face. Her gait was not its usual graceful stride, but rather uneven and slightly shuffled. He did not even glance at Gwendolyn as he straightened and followed her wayward stepdaughter, the look on her face positively venomous.  
  
"Julia." He called, watching worriedly as she put a hand delicately to her brow in a gesture of pain.  
  
"Can I help you, Alex?" She asked, her tone irritated as she watched the start of the match with feigned interest.  
  
"What the hell have you taken?" he asked, his voice low as he came to her side, taking her arm in his hand to steady her.  
  
"Just a little laudanum." She replied unevenly. "The doctor gave it to me for my headaches."  
  
"Just how much laudanum did you take?" he pressed.  
  
"I don't know, I didn't use a measuring cup." She responded tartly. "Just took a swig of it on my way out the door."  
  
Alex sighed. She would have to take a highly addictive opium-based painkiller just before appearing in public again.  
  
"Would you kindly unhand me?" she snapped, and he realized she was trying to pull her arm away from his grasp.  
  
"I think not." He replied, taking her hand and firmly placing it in the crook of his arm. "If you wish to keep me from enlightening your father to the state his beloved daughter is in, you are going to stay by my side and do just as I say."  
  
"That's extortion." She snapped, her eyes flashing despite the glassiness that was a side effect of the drug flowing through her body.  
  
"Extortion would require money. I require your presence." He told her, smiling at a passing couple.  
  
"I never thought I would see the day when the high and might Spot Conlon, ruler of Brooklyn and self proclaimed ladies man, would stoop to blackmailing a lady into accompanying him." She retorted. Alex glanced around, making sure no one was close enough to have truly heard her statement.  
  
"I have no need to blackmail any lady, Julia. I suppose I could always return to your stepmother. It wouldn't take more than a few more well chosen words to take her back into the stable and have a fine roll in the hay." Alex growled. "Don't test my patience; I've never had very much of it."  
  
He saw the flash of anger and jealousy that passed across her face. Though fleeting, the laudanum was keeping her from truly hiding those emotions that she was so good at keeping from people. His gaze was intense as it lingered upon her face, a caress in its own way. Julia smiled a sweet, seductively coy look that had a much better impact that her stepmother's ever had. He knew that if Julia had wanted she could have so easily have had any man she wanted at her mercy. Desire began in the mind, and Julia was a master of mind tricks.  
  
"And with one sweet smile I could have that strong young god that my father was so intent on introducing me to in the Waldorf feeding me strawberries and Champaign." The smile she gave him next was a siren's smile, calculated to make him pant and drool. For once in his life, Alex found he had to fight to keep from doing just that. Alexander Conlon was a ladies' man. Even as a boy, he had never been tongue tied around women. He was smooth talking, handsome, and suave. For once he found a challenge, a woman that would not crumble the first time he tried to get her in bed, and that made Julia more desirable than before. He found himself feeling the same bite of jealousy as the young man in question rode past and Julia offered him a flirting wave. "You want what you can't have, Alex. Therein is the basis of my appeal. You get me and you will tire of me. I know of you, I know your reputation; you think you were the only one in the old days that had birdies? You think I just forgot about you? Do you think I could just walk away from my old life? Do you think I don't crave the adrenaline rush just as you do? I know about the women, Alex. I know that from Brooklyn to Manhattan, you have sampled them all."  
  
"It's not a crime for a man to give into his baser needs." He said dismissively.  
  
"Then it must not be a crime for woman to give into her baser needs." she returned. "You know that Champaign and strawberries sound incredibly good right now. Tell me Alex, do you think he would be a good lover?"  
  
"You couldn't possibly be serious." Alex said, his gaze turning to pure steel and his hand tightening.  
  
"You don't know me very well anymore, Alex." She replied coolly. "I never bluff."  
  
His face was a mask of indifference to any of the casual observers, as he turned on his heel, his hand firmly and tightly holding on to her upper arm as he hauled her along behind him. His pace was a ground-eating gait she had not needed to keep up with for years. She tried to dig her heels into the soft loamy earth only to have a furious Alex turn on her.  
  
"Either you come with me now Julia, or I swear on my mother's grave, I'll carry you," he hissed. She blinked at him, unsure of what she had said that had gotten to him so. She had been trying for the past few encounters with him to irritate the hell out of him and now that she had her mind was too laudanum befuddled to remember what in her words she had thrown at him that would have caused him to react so. Surprised by his venom, she allowed him to pull her from sight to the stables they had been discussing only moments before. He seemed to know exactly where he was going. She noticed a man petting one of the horses, a besotted look on his face. He looked and raised an eyebrow at the sight of them.  
  
"Richard, I need to borrow your office." Alex threw out before flinging open the door and pushing her up a set of narrow steps. She looked helplessly at him, but he watched in bland disinterest as she looked back at him. Alex was frightening her with this intensely angry side of him she had never witnessed.  
  
"Alex, where...?" she was cut off as he abruptly pushed her into a small office and slammed the door shut. She watched wide-eyed as he locked the door and turned to her, slipping the key into his pocket as he did. Still stupefied by shock, she did nothing as he grabbed her arms and propelled her back into the wall.  
  
"You want to play those games little girl, you better be damn sure of who you are playing them with." He hissed as his hands slipped down her arms to her hips and grabbed them, roughly pulling her to him. She had no time to react as his lips descended on hers, his kiss searing and rough, making her feel a longing she had never experienced before. It was more than she had ever experienced before; her body pressed tightly against his, his kiss, the shear passion that filled them both.  
  
She did not respond at first, unsure of what to do with all these feelings and emotions that were hitting her. Despite her brave words, she was innocent as a babe and as inexperienced as a child. Still, it was Alex that held her, Alex that touched her, Alex that made her feel as if she were on fire. It seemed so right, and after a moment she hesitantly tried to follow his lead. He pulled away, knowing all along she had been bluffing, knowing she did not have the experience she had tried to make him think she had. His eyes glittered down at her, darkly dangerous. She stared up at him, the innocent longing in her eyes making him smile in masculine satisfaction.  
  
"You are mine, Julia." He hissed, both his voice and looks ones of possessive anger. She had heard of this side of him, a side he had kept blessedly under wraps. She had seen bits and pieced growing up of this ruthless and dark side that would stop at nothing to get and keep what he wanted." You will never, ever let another man touch you, nor will you even think of another man touching you, do you understand? I have killed for less."  
  
She nodded. He did not need to finish his threat; her birdies had kept her well informed. Her mind, heart, body, and soul were, however, still entrapped in that kiss. Looking into those eyes she had loved so as a child she felt a shiver go through her. What had fate gotten her into?  
  
He gave her an indulgent smile as he leaned his head back down, his arms wrapping around her and pulling her to him for a kiss that was like a spoonful of sweet to counteract the bitterness of medicine. The kiss was no less searing, and he found himself just as lost as his lips traveled to her neck, causing sensations she was both frightened and enflamed by.  
  
A knock at the door caused him to pull away, to push the shoulder of her gown up, and to run a hand through his mused hair as Richard stuck his head in.  
  
"The match is almost over. I believe that her parents will begin to look for her." Richard told Alex. Nodding, Alex pushed Julia to the mirror to straighten her hair and dress. Tears of shame filled her eyes as she realized what had happened.  
  
"You will never touch me again, Alex." She cried tearfully as she heard Richard's footsteps on the stairs.  
  
"Julia, I'm sorry." He said, his eyes telling her he was truly repentant. She softened a little as she swept past him.  
  
"Perhaps I will see you at the Winthrop's party tonight." She said softly before disappearing down the stairs. He watched her go, cursing himself for losing so much control. He had never let her see that side of him; he had not wanted her to even know of its existence. He prayed that he had not caused more damage than was repairable. He watched from the window as she was intercepted by a young man who did not appear to be one of the well to do. He watched curiously as the young man slipped a bit of paper to her. She turned away and looked at it for a moment before nodding and sending him off. As she turned to leave, the note drifted to the ground and she hurried on, seeing her father beckoning to her.  
  
As he made his way casually down the stairs to the spot she had once stood, he bent and picked up what might to the casual passer seem like a useless bit of trash. Unfolding the crumpled paper, he looked at the bold hand written note.  
  
"Tonight." Was all it read. Curious, he turned, making a mental to keep an eye on her tonight to find out what it meant. He prayed it did not mean what he thought it meant, though he was pretty sure she would not attempt a rendezvous with anyone after his earlier warning. She had an innocence and inexperience that she couldn't possible have counterfeited. Could she have?  
  
"Alex." Richard called as he headed back to the stables, his mind mulling over the many possibilities of the note. "The Wolves need to meet tonight before the party. Marcus might have some information one of his sources obtained."  
  
"We'll meet at my place." Alex replied, shaking his head to clear it of his thoughts. Information meant they were one step closer to ferreting out the rat.  
  
"He thinks that it might happen tonight." That caught Alex's attention. He pushed thoughts of Julia aside, his mind immediately turning over that bit of information.  
  
"We meet at my house in fifteen." He called to Richard, wheeling around. "I need to find Nick."  
  
Julia took a deep breath as she neared her father, her mind running a million miles a minute. Her heart thudded in her chest and she knew her cheeks were flushed with excitement, though Alex had nothing to do with her current state. Her mind had left that venue in turn for the meaning behind the note that Alex had puzzled over. She blinked, trying to clear her mind from the laudanum that was just starting to take its leave from her brain.  
  
"You made a very good impression on the junior Winthrop." Her father said, a touch of pride in his voice as he helped her into the car.  
  
"Thank you." Julia said absently, her mind making plans, noting what she would need for tonight.  
  
"I suppose we might take you to the party tonight." Her father said it as if he were rewarding her for a job well done. He waited for Julia to become excited, but she froze.  
  
"Father, my head aches abominably." Julia replied swiftly, her mind turning out a good reason for her to miss the party as quickly as it could. "Might I forgo the party and sleep tonight?"  
  
Pleased at her performance her father nodded his consent, despite his wife's arguments. Mentally, Julia sighed in relief. She had more important plans this evening, and they did not include joining the party. She hastily moved from the car, making sure that she appeared to be in the pain she had professed earlier.  
  
She allowed Ally to help her undress and smiled absently as she drew a steaming bath to help ease the ache that had left the minute her mind had wrapped its way about her abrupt plans. She tried to relax as her heart thudded with anticipation and intoxicating adrenaline pumped through her veins. Once she was finally dressed in her nightgown and wrapper Ally left, setting a pot of tea on the table next to her wing-backed chair. Unable to do more than wait, Julia curled up in the chair and let the roaring fire warm her as she sipped the tea. She tested it, cautiously tasting it at first for laudanum or any of the like that Ally might have slipped into her tea to help. The pounding was coming back, but Julia was too wound up to acknowledge it.  
  
As darkness fell and she heard the car leave the drive she stood and made her way to the wardrobe. Quietly she opened a hidden drawer in her wardrobe, taking a dark colored bundle from it. Smiling, she shed her nightgown for the specially made pair of men's trousers and shirt. She locked the door and looked into the mirror of her vanity as she tied the kerchief that had been her mothers about her head. It was her good luck charm. It held her hair up as she grabbed the faded hat she had stolen at one point from Alex as a child. It would be her most daring escapade yet; she knew the painting and jewelry were on the top floor. As for the statue, well, coming back for it later would intensify the thrill. Smiling, her blood singing with an intoxication more stimulating than even Alex's kisses, she opened her balcony and scampered down the trellis.  
  
  
  
(Looks around and takes a deep breath) Wow, new chapter posted and I just realized I haven't done new review dances for anyone. (Bad, Bad me! Slaps hand and takes another deep breath, okay here it goes) Dances, and dances, and dances, and dances, and dances, and dances, and dances, and dances. Falls and collapses. Gasp, wheeze, thank you everyone, Muses you roll the S.O.s (passes out)  
  
Chelci: Yay you liked it. I wasn't too terribly impressed with the chapter, but it was necessary for later plot explanations. I'll let you in on a little secret..... I really didn't do that much research as you can see if you go to the site mentioned. Both my friend Angela and I though know a little about the actual culture. She researched them for an Anthropology project and I've just always had an interest. Oh well, it did add a little interest to the chapter. I wrote more, you asked I did it!  
  
Falco my favorite lazy bum: Hey I got you in this time! Without you yelling at me. I've got to hear that version of Barbie girl it sounds incredibly funny. I try to keep things relatively realistic, really I do, it's nice when someone notices though. I was so excited you updated your stories. I missed them so much. You better update soon or no waffles for you.... and maybe no chapters..... (laughs evilly) there may be some other of my reviewers that will be very disappointed in you! Great stories chicky. Hey, when are you and Keza updating? I really liked the start you had to that time travel fic. I have been looking for more and been very disappointed! Love ya honey!  
  
Keza: Get some sleep dahling! You'll never keep that brain of your's functioning, you will be struck down with some horrible illness.....like writers block! Uh oh. Okay seriously, thank you for review despite your exhaustion. I'll reiterate what I told Falco though, I'm waiting for the update on that time travel fic you were writing.... I'm not the most patient person, sorry. Hope you feel better and more alive!  
  
Ice: (does famous new reviewer dance) Yay someone new that likes my work! Yay! Thank you honey! I like it! Let me know what you think and if you think it needs anything, I'm not afraid of constructive criticism. Thank you again. You asked for more.. You got it dahling.  
  
Rumor: Ahhhhh, a very long review. Oh I love those. NO bowing or chanting! It causes swelled head syndrome, which intern creates migraines from trying to hold up my massive head and migraines mean no chappies. Honestly though I'm flattered thank you! He's a professional thief of course he's cat like.... Hence the term cat burglar. I don't think it's because they steal cats, he he he. Yup she can fully handle his life style actually she's already a part of it he just doesn't know it! I love it when I do that. He's going to find out though and boy is he going to have to be mad. Not only is his girl stealing stuff and putting herself in danger, but she's also outwitting him and taking away his business. Ooooh bad Julia. (Julia smiles sweetly from her shelf with the muses.) I'm not big on diamonds. I agree with Anne in Anne of Green Gables....their so cold. Anyway, glad you enjoyed it here's some more for you!  
  
Kathryn Mason-Sykes: Thank you chicky, love ya! 


	9. To Catch A Theif

Julia walked with the well-practiced swagger of a man; she had played this role many times over the years. There had been many times when she had played her own birdie and snuck into the Brooklyn Lodging House. With her hat pulled low and the dark, non-descript clothing of a street rat she had always blended in. She whistled to herself as she wandered down the street, making her way to the very house that her parents would be attending a party at tonight. It made her blood pound even more. Unfortunately with the pounding of her blood came the pounding of her head.  
  
She glanced up at the house now only houses away. She studied it for a moment, though she knew the layout by heart. She always did her research; she knew every nook and cranny of the place, down to the last closet. She felt a strong, but not large, hand clamp down on her arm and drag her into the alleyway between the neighbor's houses.  
  
"It's about time." She heard the owner of the hand say. She shrugged it off and smiled at the girl that stood angrily watching her. She brushed at her artfully worn woolen coat and smiled and her partner Deirdre Winters. She was smaller than Julia was; it had been this trait that had first encouraged Julia to give the girl a chance. It was not the first time they had worked together, though it had been years since they had previously. Julia had left Alex to his devises, deciding to ignore her past and continue with the new life that had been presented to her. As it were, fate would not allow it. Julia had been a thief, and a damn good one at that, to give that up cold was hard for her to do. Despite the wealth that surrounded her, she still craved the adrenaline rush that always accompanied a theft.  
  
It had been only months after Julia and Alex's split when a girl not much older than Julia had tried to pick her pocket. Had it been anyone other than Julia the girl would have gotten away, but having been an incredibly "light fingers" herself she felt the little hand that reached for the bag about her wrist with a knife that was sharpened to cut the ties quickly. It had been daring to try to take the money from a lady, and Julia was impressed. However, it had been sympathy and boredom that had caused Julia to make an alliance with her.  
  
Together they had roamed the streets, picking pockets and stealing from vendors. It had always been a competition between them, each vying for the most daring theft. Julia had taught her to read, bringing out a more quiet and intellectual side of her. When Julia had found out that Deirdre was living in the Brooklyn Lodging House she cut off ties to her, afraid that she would accidentally let it slip that Julia was working with her. Deirdre had not understood her fear, but had let her go, never realizing that Julia was the same Julia that had spent her time at Spot Conlon's side.  
  
Still unable to stay from the life she had been raised in, Julia returned to stealing, eventually working her way as the boys had into the houses of the well to do. Once she realized she had the same talent that Alex had, she started planning to take over his jobs. The first heist she did on her own was brilliant and made the papers, which had brought Deirdre once more to her door.  
  
Julia smiled softly as she remembered that night; what a smart girl Deirdre was.  
  
"Miss Julia, there is a young lady here to see you." the butler had said to Julia, who had pleaded illness to keep from attending the latest debutant ball her parents had gone to. It was lucky for her she had been alone. The way the butler had said lady told Julia the girl in question looked anything but.  
  
"Show her in." Julia said, intrigued by the idea it was not one of the friends her parents had insist she make. The small blonde had followed after the butler, a mutinous look on her face.  
  
"Ya got quiet the place, Jules." She had said, "What, surprised to see your old friend?"  
  
"What do you want, Deirdre?" Julia had asked, dismissing the butler with a wave of her hand and shutting the door behind him, making sure he was not listening just beyond it.  
  
"Well see, I saw there was a heist a few days ago. Looking at it I thought, hmmm that looks like my old pal Jules work. So then I started to do me research, I did some checking around with my old friends from the Brooklyn Lodging House and what a surprise it was to me to find my old friend had been thick as thieves, pardon the pun, with the infamous Spot Conlon. Now he and his Wolves were contracted for this job originally, and while it is such a small job they probably would just let it go, they don't take kindly to their work getting stolen."  
  
"Are you blackmailing me, Deirdre?" Julia hissed. To her surprise, Deirdre had only laughed and held up her hands.  
  
"Nah, I got me own bone to pick with mister high and mighty King of Brooklyn. I want in on it. You and me, working together like old times."  
  
Julia studied Deirdre; things really hadn't changed in the few years since she had seen the girl. Her long hair was a combination of rich gold and silver blonde. It had been pulled back in an untidy mess of a braid. Her skin was tanned by days in the sun; her hands calloused by hard labor. Her light green eyes flashed with the look that all street rats had. It was a look of disillusionment and determination, and the will to fight or die. Julia stood, realizing that Deirdre was smaller than her by a few inches. She was small, slight reminding Julia of a sprite, with her impish gamine face.  
  
Her height and size had originally made up Julia's mind for her. She knew the girl was an excellent thief, but with both of them small it would make it easier for them to steal than the larger men. They could hide in smaller areas, fit through smaller windows, and dart through hallways like butterflies. While Julia knew how to pick a lock, she found Deirdre had a flair for it. She also had a mathematical code that some how helped her figure out the combinations to locks. The girl was a wiz with numbers. Julia, however, knew just the right placement of a drill to get the lock to pop open. Deirdre, in addition, had taught Julia the skill she had never been allowed to learn, and that was the basics of fighting. Julia would never be able to handle a switch with the casual ease that Deirdre did, but she at least had rudimentary skills now.  
  
Once the job came in, Julia would obtain an architects layout of the home. Deirdre would then begin to plan, finding the best escape routes and the best entries. Unlike the men, they usually left the police befuddled as to how they even got into the home, let alone how they had exited. Julia, with her connection through Mrs. Vanderbilt-Belmont, would obtain an invitation and scope out the inside, noting changes and placements of furniture. They made a fine team; it had taken them only a few heists before they began to work like one person, each doing their job and doing it well.  
  
"Are ya gonna sit there all day, Jules?" Deirdre asked, breaking into her thoughts. The small blonde woman stood before her tapping her feet idly on the pavement, her hair a beacon of light color in the night.  
  
"You might want to cover up that hair, De," Julia replied, smirking. Deirdre made a face as she tied the dark colored scarf over her hair, covering it. Julia placed a hand against the side of her head her fingers pressed to her temple, where she could feel the beating of her heart as the blood fought to get through the tightened muscles.  
  
"You don't have another of those headaches, do you?" Deirdre asked, worry coming to her face. "We can put it off a night."  
  
"Can we?" Julia asked, dropping her hand and whirling on Deirdre. "We have fought to be the best De, do you hear me? We have surpassed even the Wolves and their puny games with the police. If we back out of this tonight then we take ten steps down on the ladder of respect we've fought our way up. How many more jobs will we be able to steal from Alex then?"  
  
"Alright, but those headaches can make you slow. We've gotten by before, but we need to be in top shape tonight." Deirdre argued.  
  
"We can't afford for me to be indisposed tonight, we can't afford to loose this job." Julia replied firmly as she peaked around the corner at the fancy dressed men and women who were making their way inside. "You remember where that passage was, right?"  
  
"Do I ever forget?" Deirdre asked. She was still worried about her partner, but at the same time she knew Julia wouldn't back down from this. She had something to prove to Alexander Conlon. Deirdre didn't know what, but she wasn't going to loose this chance. Silently they waited, their bodies in positions that to the casual observer they were young boys stopping to speak to one another before hurrying home from a hard day. No one thought anything of them as they watched the passers by, waiting until most of the party's guest had made their way inside. Then, and only then, did they move quietly making their way to the house and across the lawn with casual ease. Once around the back, Deirdre quickly fumbled for a latch hidden behind the ivy that covered the side of the house. With a swift flick of her wrist a piece of the stonework came away, revealing a steep staircase.  
  
"Good work, De." Julia whispered as they shut the door behind them and felt their way through the inky blackness. She could hear Deirdre fumbling with the latch that would open up on the upstairs floor of the house. It creaked in the silence of the upper hall and Julia winced, hoping there were not servants upstairs that would hear. Both girls winced again as Deirdre shut the door, and both dodged behind pieces of furniture as the door opened and the light flicked on.  
  
"I'm tellin' ya Betty, I heard somethin'."  
  
"Aye, and perhaps it's the ghost of old man Winthrop comin' to haunt us." Betty said in disgust. "Ya always hearin' somethin', Judy. Now come on let's go, Mrs. Winthrop is in a fine mood tonight. Master Winthrop has takin' a likin' to that Dubois girl and she ain't happy about it."  
  
"Alright." Judy sighed. " But I'm tellin' ya..."  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Betty cut her off. Julia sighed in relief as they heard the footsteps down the hall.  
  
"That Dubois girl, hmm?" Deirdre whispered. "Do I hear wedding bells for dearest Julia?"  
  
"Shut it." Julia snapped, as she checked to make sure the coast was clear. Silently they made their way down the hall, Deirdre leading the way, stopping only when she turned sharply and opened the door to a room. Both shuffled in and shut the door, smiling at the moonlight that would make their job easier.  
  
"I think we need to split up, De." Julia said quickly. "We only have a short space of time before we have to get out of here."  
  
"We never split up, Julia, we do it together always remember?" Deirdre argued.  
  
"We've never tried something this daring before either. The painting is down the hall in music room. I'll get the painting, stash it in the passage, and we'll get the statue together. You get the necklace." Julia replied. "We don't have much choice; the party may distract them, but you never know when someone will come up here to check on something. Or one of the children might wake up."  
  
Deirdre nodded reluctantly, knowing Julia was right but not wanting to split up. She watched Julia go, muttering as she turned to the closet and the safe that would be inside. Silently she opened the doors and lit the gas lamp that sat on a table next to the gleaming wooden doors. Slowly she entered the large room that housed the many dresses of the hostess downstairs. Kneeling in front of the safe, she went to work trying to stop the feeling of unease that prickled at the back of her neck.  
  
Swiftly, Julia made her way down the hall and to the room she knew housed the famous Ruben painting. Slipping into the room on soft feet, she made her way to the wall she remembered the painting hanging on. It should have been hanging on the wall above the ornately carved mantle. Moonlight lit this room as well and she slipped between the piano and harp with practiced ease, almost invisible due to her dark clothing. Reaching the fireplace, she found the wall above it was bare. Her heart leapt to her throat.  
  
"Get a hold on yourself, Dubois." She whispered. "It's been moved, that's all. Now where in the hell would they move it?"  
  
"Looking for this?" a deep voice asked from the shadows behind her. Whirling, she came face to face with Alex. Marcus stood only feet away smirking, his fist hitting into his open palm in undisguised glee.  
  
"Perhaps." She said softly, trying to deepen her voice. She edged backing toward the door. Marcus moved quickly, blocking her path.  
  
"We don't like people moving in on our jobs." Marcus smirked, his muscles rippling through his dinner jacket menacingly.  
  
"Do you honestly think I believe you will attack me here with people below downstairs?" she returned, her eyes darting to Alex and back to Marcus. She had to get to Deirdre; there were only two here. That left Jack, Richard, and David still somewhere in the house. She had no doubts that they were setting a trap for her partner.  
  
"Do you think we'd be stupid enough to attack you here?" Alex replied. "We only planned on catching you here, it's later that we'll attack. This was our territory, and do you know what Wolves do when someone enters their territory?"  
  
"They make sure that person doesn't leave it." Marcus finished. Julia looked from one to the other. Alex's face was set in a cold, grim line, and Marcus smiled in anticipation. She reacted quickly before they could initially tell what her plan was. She darted between them, her hat and scarf coming free in Marcus's hands as he grabbed for her. Her hair tumbled around her back, but in the shadows, the men did not see it.  
  
"Give me that." Alex snapped, taking the hat and the scarf from him as they turned to run after her. Julia darted out the door and down the hall, hoping she would reach Deirdre in time; there was a balcony in the room they could hopefully get down without breaking their necks.  
  
In the mean time, Deirdre worked on the lock, sweat beading on her brow as she tried to concentrate. She heard a soft thump behind her and heard the door swing open.  
  
"You got the painting?" she asked without looking up.  
  
"Yeah, we've got the painting." A voice that was not Julia's said, the menace in the tone making her heart leap in fear. "We got the necklace too."  
  
Without turning, she blew out the lamp and whirled, diving through the legs of the two men that blocked her way. She managed to scramble back and turn to find them already facing her. One of them grabbed her before she could run. She could feel the lump of something in his pocket, and she would have bet money that it was the necklace.  
  
"Where's your partner?" the other asked. Her face was in shadow, his illuminated in the moonlight. It was Jack Kelly, his face set in a look of grim determination. "Let's get a good look at our competition."  
  
She struggled as the man that held her turned her toward the moonlight, but he was too strong and she glared at Jack as he looked down at her in surprise. Slowly he pulled the scarf from her head sending her long braid tumbling into her captures face.  
  
"You're a woman?" he said in surprise.  
  
"And you're man." She sneered, bringing her foot up in a solid kick to his most vulnerable spot. Flinging her head back she head butted her captor in the face, grimacing in pain as his teeth cut her scalp. With a muffled cry of pain, he let her go. With practiced ease, she took the necklace from his pocket and ran for the door in one motion. She flung open the door in time to see Julia flying down the hallway, her hair streaming behind her like a comet.  
  
"Come on." She cried, wracking her brain for possible ways out. Alex and Marcus were charging down the hall after her while Richard sprang from the room they had just left, holding a hand to his bleeding nose. "Damn it."  
  
"The servant's stairs." Julia cried frantically, and together they ran to the staircase half hidden between the doors leading to the oldest child's room and the nursery. They nearly plowed down a servant girl as they flew down the steps.  
  
"Stop them." Alex cried. The girl looked at them blankly and Julia flung open the door leading out to the veranda and gardens. He pushed the useless girl out of the way as they bolted out the door following them. He had only time to register the long silvery braid that stood out in the moonlight like a beacon and the dark hair that swirled around the other as they ran into the night. He knew he'd never catch them. Women, who would have though it would be women that were taking their jobs.  
  
Slowly he turned and entered the busy kitchen, Marcus just behind him, Jack sitting on a stool, his face gray. Richard was letting a beautiful maid hold a napkin to his still bleeding nose. David looked to all of them in surprise.  
  
"You let them get away?" he asked in fury and frustration.  
  
"Cheese it, Davey." Alex hissed as the hostess and host entered the kitchen.  
  
"What happened?" Mr. Winthrop queried, looking to Alex for an answer.  
  
"I heard the maid complaining about a noise upstairs and went to investigate." Alex responded smoothly. "I took a few of my friends, just incase it might be those burglars the police have been having such a time catching. We split up and found one thief in your bedroom taking jewelry and the other trying to make off with the painting in the music room. We tried to apprehend them, but they were too swift; they took the necklace and ran."  
  
"Oh, you dear, brave boys." Mrs. Winthrop cried. Alex smiled that little boy smile that often made women want to take him home and fatten him up.  
  
"Call the police." Mr. Winthrop commanded. "What you did tonight, you were heroes."  
  
"Thank you." Alex said simply, turning pink. "I think I'll comb the grounds and see if they're still here somewhere."  
  
Mr. Winthrop was too busy shouting orders and Mrs. Winthrop was too busy trying not to faint as Alex nodded his head for his boys to follow. Quietly they sat on the back veranda, waiting for the police, knowing they wouldn't be able to go home until they gave their statements. The feel of the hat that was still in his hands reminded him of earlier days. Days when he had worn scratchy wool on his head, dirty and gray, old and worn. The soft silk in his hand brought his attention back to what he held. Its brightly colored roses seemed to glow in the light spilling from the kitchen windows.  
  
"No." he breathed. "It can't be. Julia burned it when her mother died."  
  
"What?" David asked. Shaking his head, he moved to the kitchen window and held the scarf up in the light, looking at each corner. He turned it twice before finding what he was looking for. Embroidered among the roses and half hidden were the initials J.A.B.  
  
"What is it, Alex?" Jack asked, knowing the look on Alex's face meant he had found something.  
  
"Our little competition left a calling card Jacky. I think I'll have to pay a visit." Alex replied, his eyes glittering with anger. He knew who it was now, the little sneak that had caused the evening's mess.  
  
"Who is it, Alex?" Richard demanded. The bleeding had stopped, but his nose was already bruising.  
  
"You might remember her actually." Alex said softly. "An old friend; she used to be a Wolf."  
  
"It can't be Julia." Marcus protested. "She left New York years ago."  
  
"Not exactly." Nick answered, stepping out onto the veranda. "Her father is Jean-Claude Dubois, if we are talking about the Julia you were dancing with last night, and I believe we are. Tell me Alex, how would a debutante get mixed up in all of this?"  
  
"The Jean-Claude Dubois?" Marcus squeaked, "As in the mayor? That would make her rich, why would she jeopardize it all?"  
  
"Why do we?" Alex responded, his hold on the scarf tightening. He felt anger and betrayal. She had tried to bring him down, he had no doubts of that. She had played his game and almost beaten him at it.  
  
"She was a Wolf, she would never turn on us." Marcus whispered.  
  
"For having grown up on the streets you can be incredibly naïve, Marcus." David sighed.  
  
"Then why would she do it?" Marcus snapped.  
  
"To get back at me." Alex hissed. "For abandoning her."  
  
"You better deal with this." David warned. "I'd hate to have to take matters into my own hands."  
  
"I'll deal with it." Alex promised.  
  
"And when you talk to her, tell her I'll have words with her little friend." Jack growled.  
  
Alex shook his head as the police entered the veranda. They gave their statements and endured the claps on the back before they were finally free to go home.  
  
"Jack, come with me." Alex hissed, as the rest were making their way to their cars or other forms of transportation.  
  
"What is it, Alex?"  
  
"We'll wait here." Alex told him. "They'll be back. Julia made a contract, and she won't be willing to let it go."  
  
"Is she crazy?" Jack asked. "There are bulls crawling all over the place."  
  
"She'll wait until things have quieted." Alex responded, looking to the house. "Then she'll strike again. They have a painting and a statue still to get and she got a note telling her tonight. She's too proud to let us get the job."  
  
Jack nodded and settled down next to his friend to wait. He hoped Alex was right; he had a bone to pick with Julia's partner. She would regret the fact that she ever picked a fight with Jack "Cowboy" Kelly.  
  
Where did everyone go? Did I frighten you off? I seem to be getting a lot fewer reviews than I previously have. Please let me know you still like it. On with the S.O's then.....  
  
Dreamer: This chapter is for you dear! I loved that line too! It was great talking with you! Hope I helped you out. Let me know if you need more chat time I'll be glad to help. Yes you may have some more!  
  
Serina: (Does new reviewer dance) Yay! All I have to say is Thank you! Glad you like it, hope you enjoyed this chapter. I think you may have some difficulty with Julia over the whole Spot issue, and Cameo, Well let's just say I wouldn't want to mess with her.  
  
Erinkathleen: You're back, yay! Check out the new fic and get a dose of TTH. No more withdrawal until I finish the newest story. Send me those poems I'd love to read them.  
  
Nevada: (Does another new reviewer dance) A new reviewer, yeah, a new review yah (oh people are paying attention now oops!) Okay seriously thank you! I'm glad you are enjoying it, let me know if you stop! I don't mind hearing an honest opinion! Thank you again!  
  
Rumor: Yay another long review for me! He's pissed, Oh boy is he pissed. Betrayal never sits well with Spot or so the Muses tell me. I'm glad you liked it. You aren't the only one who loved my leprechaun bit. I loved it! No berating that wasn't the point, just trying to stay humble! Damn everyone guessed it, but then that was what the muses wanted and so she did it! Okay another review please!  
  
This chapter brought to you by Kathryn Mason-Sykes. Thank you doll! What would I do without you editing for me? 


	10. Caught again

Okay, bad me, long break, sorry everyone. I try to update frequently, but my brain goes on overload and I can't concentrate and then I need a few days. So I took them; hope you don't mind too much. I'm making up for it though with two chapters in one day. (Gotta please the readers of the other story too.) Thank you for your patience!  
  
  
  
Julia could hear the pounding of Deirdre's feet on the cobblestones as they ran; finally stopping when their sides hurt and their breath came in ragged gasps.  
  
"We have to go back." Julia panted as she fought to take a deep breath.  
  
"What do you mean we have to go back?" Deirdre cried, "There is no way in hell we are going back."  
  
"We have to." Julia continued, "We don't have a choice."  
  
"We do have a choice. The bulls will be all over that house, how are we going to get in and get out?"  
  
"Our reputation--" Julia began to argue.  
  
"Our reputation can go to hell." Deirdre cut her off. "I don't give a damn, I'm not going to go down in flames to save our reputation. We'll give the clients the necklace and a promise to get the rest later."  
  
"You don't understand, Deirdre." Julia snapped, her eyes flashing. "There's more at stake than our reputation. Until now we've taken small jobs; we haven't really played with the big boys. You've been an independent contractor; you've stolen and sold it to the highest bidder. This is a job, a contract. If we back out and don't come up with the goods before tomorrow morning we're as good as dead."  
  
Julia turned away as Deirdre sagged against the wall, the fear glittering in her eyes like it was clenching in Julia's gut.  
  
"We have to go back." She repeated softly, "We have no choice."  
  
"What in the hell did you get me into, Dubois?" Deirdre growled.  
  
"I didn't get you into anything, Winters." Julia replied, whirling on her. "You came to me, remember? You wanted to play, I dealt you into the game. Now we have to go back. We'll use the passage again; if both of us stick together, we cannot fail."  
  
"I didn't sign on for do or die." Deirdre grumbled.  
  
"You signed on for do or die the day you were born." Julia threw at her as they turned together and started back.  
  
"I don't like it," Deirdre snapped back.  
  
"You don't have to, you just have to survive." Julia told her. "So tell me Winters, does this scare you? Are you going to run the next job we're offered?"  
  
"If you think I'm going to let you take all the glory, then you're mad." Deirdre responded.  
  
"That's what I was hoping." Julia smiled.  
  
"So what's the plan, genius?" Deirdre asked wryly. Julia shook her head as she thought, her headache had only increased its pounding and she wanted nothing more than to lie down, but there was no choice.  
  
"Just what I said before, we watch until the coast is clear, we sneak into the secret passage, and then we continue as we originally planned before Alex trapped us." Julia replied quietly. "We need to be on our guard. Alex may still be there; they may take the opportunity to try to steal what's left for themselves to discredit us. Once we get out of there we need to lay low for a while; stay out of Alex's way. I'm heading to the country; you should probably follow suite."  
  
"Why would I hide from Alexander Conlon?" Deirdre's voice told Julia just how little she thought of Alex.  
  
"He'll figure out who I am, if he hasn't already." Julia sighed, "He has the scarf that my mother made. It was originally intended for her, but she gave it to me. She monogrammed it for me."  
  
"You wore a monogrammed scarf into a heist?" Deirdre cried. "I gave you credit for more brains than that."  
  
"No one knows Julia Barranoff anymore, and that is who the monogram was for." Julia said defensively. "And the one person who does know has it."  
  
"Again, you wore a monogrammed scarf into a heist?" Deirdre exclaimed, "Why didn't you just paint your name on the wall while you were at it?"  
  
"It was a good luck charm; a memory of my mother's people." Julia snapped.  
  
"What do your mother's people have to do with the job?"  
  
"Everything. The Gypsies are usually incredible thieves." Julia sighed. "It's a tradition. The gypsies have strict rules governing theft amongst their own people, but what is done to the gajikano, the non-Roma, well, let's say the rules are lax. Often swindling and lightening the pockets of the gajikano is considered an art."  
  
"So the gypsies are just like all the stories I've heard." Deirdre responded dryly. "Do they steal children too?"  
  
"No, of course not, but they do welcome children into their group, no matter heritage or background." Julia sniffed. "If a child is unhappy and runs to the Roma, how can they find it in their hearts to turn them away?"  
  
"Why didn't you leave and go to the gypsies?"  
  
"My mother had been marimé, or outcast. The rules pertaining to the Romany having familiarity with the gadje, again, the non-Roma, is strict. Those that choose to be familiar are sentenced to marimé. It is temporary usually, however, my mother married a gadje and bore his child; a gadje who would never agree to marry into my mother's tribe. So her marimé was permanent, by choice. Her father disowned her. She knew she could return, but it would be in disgrace, and she was too proud for that." Julia told her softly.  
  
"So you want to remember these people for what reason?" Deirdre asked, "They abandoned your mother to die in the mill."  
  
"They didn't abandon her, just outcast her, she could have gone back." Julia snapped her temper rising.  
  
"I think you're looking for a way to justify your actions. Do you have a conscience I didn't know about Dubois?"  
  
"Shut your mouth De." Julia warned.  
  
Realizing how close she was pushing Julia's frayed nerves to snapping, Deirdre fell silent until they reached the house that they had run from. Lightly, they ran across the grass to the back of the house where the passage was. Noiselessly they hid behind the rose bushes as a policeman passed, whistling a tune as he made his rounds.  
  
"You take the west side of the house, I'll take the east, and we'll meet here." Julia whispered. Deirdre nodded and started off in the direction Julia had told her to take. Julia waited for a few moments then went in the opposite direction. Both kept their ears on alert and their eyes on their surroundings, waiting for something to move out of the corner of their eyes.  
  
Julia finished her rounds and, judging from the candle she saw bobbing in the music room windows, she guessed they had left one policeman inside and one out. She waited silently by the passage, hidden by the shadows and her dark clothing. Just as she was starting to really worry, a streak of light colored hair broke from its hiding spot and met her.  
  
"One inside, one out." Julia said. Deirdre nodded. "The bull should make his way past here in a few seconds."  
  
Deirdre nodded and felt along the edge of the artfully arranged rose bush border, picking up a heftily weighted rock. Julia winced, but nodded in return as the policeman made his way back to where they had first seen them. Deirdre's face went emotionless as she concentrated. Julia picked up a smaller rock and threw it so that it bounced off the wall a few feet ahead of where they were. The policeman turned and on silent feet Deirdre followed him. He must have felt a prickling across his neck because he half turned as Deirdre hit him with the rock, sending him into unconsciousness. Swiftly, the girls moved him to the shadows and turned to the passage.  
  
"Alex." Jack said under his breath. Alex turned as he heard the soft thunk; two figures were pulling another figure into the bushes. He smiled; he knew she would come back. "What are we going to do?"  
  
"We'll wait." Alex said softly. They watched as the two girls quietly as possible moved to the wall, he saw the blonde fumbling with something and watched in surprise as a bit of the wall fell away. He hadn't known there was a passage; that explained how they had gotten in. They were definitely clever; he would give them that.  
  
Julia tripped on the stairs as she made her way up behind Deirdre. She swore softly as they reached the top; her shin would be badly bruised come morning. The door squeaked again as they opened it and both girls jumped for the wardrobe, shutting it silently incase someone had heard it. Silence had permeated the house. They could hear the sound of someone on the stairs and waited as they heard it fade. Together they moved from the room, heading down the blessedly clear hallway to the music room. Once there, they took the painting that had been leaned against the wall and headed back for the passageway.  
  
Julia bit her lip as they opened the squeaking door again and closed it, the painting safely inside. Deirdre picked up a heavy brass vase from the dressing table of the room they were in and Julia reluctantly nodded. She hated knocking the policemen unconscious, but there was no other way to keep them quiet. On silent feet, they made their way down the stairs knowing the man they sought was not on the upstairs level. As they neared the bottom of the stairs, a man in a dark suite sat at the foot of the stairs. Julia squeaked in surprise, but as Deirdre continued on, she realized the man was unconscious. She leaned down; there was still a pulse, but even in the dim light she could make out the bump on his head. She hissed in surprise and looked around quickly.  
  
"Let's get the statue and go." Julia whispered urgently as she stood, whirling to where the statue was and grateful it was in the spot it had originally been set. "They're here still."  
  
Deirdre did not have to ask whom Julia was talking about and swiftly they made their way to where the statue stood on a pedestal in the entryway. The marble was heavier than they originally thought, and it made Julia's arms ache as they hauled it up the stairs. Deirdre kept her ears perked, her heart thudding in her chest as they made it to the top. The Wolves had to be around here somewhere; she thanked God they did not know where the passage was. They made it to the room and entered the passage closing it behind them. Both sighed in relief as they leaned against the cobweb- strewn hall that made up the passage, thankful they had moved the items without being caught.  
  
" How are we going to get these out? The original plan isn't going to work. We don't have the time to get back and steal you father's car." Deirdre asked. Julia shrugged. She didn't know what to do. They couldn't very well hail a cab; it might be a little conspicuous. The sound of match being lit made both girls turn their heads swiftly.  
  
"Dilemmas, dilemmas, such is the life of trying to play with the big boys." Julia focused on the person that spoke, meeting his icy countenance unblinkingly.  
  
"What do you want, Alex?" Julia asked coolly and calmly.  
  
Deirdre shrunk into the wall as Alex pushed his way past her to Julia, his eyes never leaving hers. The dangerous gleam in his eyes made her shiver. Julia, however, never wavered. She felt a moment's pride in her friend's unruffled composure. They stared each other down for a few moments.  
  
"Jack, get the statute. We'll finish this at my house." Alex ordered.  
  
"Over my dead body." Julia snapped. "We stole it fairly; if you think I'll let you waltz out of here with the painting or the statue then you're mad. We pulled off the heist, and now we will get paid for it."  
  
Jack moved in front of the statue, his smile feral. As he looked Deirdre up and down her hand instinctively reached for the blade she hid in the pocket of her coat. With their lives on the line there was no way that Deirdre was going to let either of these overly cocky men take the booty from her.  
  
"I wouldn't reach for that blade if I were you." Alex barked, his eyes on Julia, his attention obviously split between the two girls.  
  
"What makes you think I have a blade?" Deirdre asked, opening her wide green eyes wider and looking almost angelic.  
  
"I was the leader of Brooklyn, Dreamer. I was Brooklyn, and I never forgot the face of one of my newsies. Even one who was as abominably bad at selling as you were. Let's see, highly intelligent, aloof, reserved, always seemed to think you were better than everyone, at least to the outside observer. On second glance, if you looked far enough, which none of my boys were willing to do, you found it was more shyness than aloofness. Given the nickname Dreamer because my right hand man Club thought you spent too much time in the window staring out and dreaming, instead of associating with everyone, which you avoided as if we all had typhoid. It was not a compliment. You were very good at hiding in the shadows and appearing invisible. Oh, and you loved to read. Almost ended up with the nickname Bookworm, but that had already been taken. I think that about sums you up," Alex replied. "Jacky, take the blade from her pocket and check to see if she has another strapped to one of her wrists. She's the deadliest girl I ever knew with a blade."  
  
"Let us go, Alex." Julia hissed. "We worked for this, if you can't deal with the fact you are second best then it's not our fault. You were just out thought, out maneuvered, and out witted. That's what's pricking your pride. And to add a little salt to that wound, you were beaten by a girl. Now why don't we act like adults here instead of little children, and you let us and our booty go."  
  
"Not going to happen, Sweetface." Jack said, as he took the blades from Deirdre, both in the spots Alex had told him to look. "Not only did you try to infringe on our turf, but you were a Wolf and you betrayed us."  
  
"I didn't betray anyone. After being kicked out of the Wolves I became an independent contractor." Julia told him. "Now we can sit here and talk about this until someone notices the two policemen that were left here to guard are out of commission, which of course will require them to put in a call that will bring the rest of the police back here to swarm and block off our escape. Which will then leave us trapped here until they find our little hiding spot or just leave us trapped in here for possibly a few days. Or we can leave now. I vote we leave now, but I want my things."  
  
"Then we'll leave." Alex said smoothly, taking the painting. Jack took the statue and they opened the passage door, disappearing beyond the wall and into the yard. The girls had no choice but to follow.  
  
Deirdre snickered as Jack struggled with the heavy marble; he just glared. As quietly as they could, they made it across the lawn and into the small orchard that lined the back half of the estate. It was sparse to be sure, but still it afforded some cover. The gate leading from the grounds was surprisingly well oiled, and opened soundlessly to reveal a car that was waiting just beyond it. Jack and Alex put what they carried inside and covered them with blankets, hiding them from the curious observer.  
  
"Get in." Alex said brusquely. Julia hesitated for a moment and Deirdre waited to see what she would do. She knew Alex, despite his anger, would not take them off into the woods and murder them, but at the same time, she was not relishing the idea of the verbal tongue-lashing that was bound to happen.  
  
"Julia, do not make me pick you up and place you in the car. You would not like the repercussions later." Alex warned. "You have gotten yourself in enough trouble; I could just call the police now, they're only a few yards away."  
  
Julia weighed her choices, knowing by the look in Alex's eyes that he would call the cops and leave her there. She knew she had angered him, and she also knew it was an anger stemmed from hurt, which in Alex's case could be deadly. It often caused him to do things, no matter the consequences. She gave him a brief nod and stepped into the car while Deirdre was hustled along none too gently by Jack.  
  
The ride to Alex's town home was quiet; the tension in the car almost palatable. Julia stared out the window, breathing a sigh of relief as the car finally stopped. Riding in a car with a very angry Alex driving was enough to turn her prematurely gray. Deirdre looked at her worriedly and Julia tried to offer her a smile of reassurance, but knew it came out weak. She stepped from the car and watched helplessly as Alex took the painting and headed for the house, Jack struggling along with the statue. She couldn't very well make a scene now, it would draw far more attention to them than she could afford.  
  
"Julia, in the house now, and bring your little friend." Alex ordered, and Julia followed them, unable to think of a better idea since they had the booty, and essentially their lives, in their hands. Whatever happened, Julia had to make sure that her partner would get out of this all right. Alex carried the painting into his library, stopping only to lift the catch for the small room hidden behind the bookcase swiftly enough so that Deirdre could not see how he had done it. Alex placed the painting inside and waited long enough for Jack to place the statue inside before swinging it shut. Julia started to protest, but fell silent as she saw the look in Alex's eyes; it was the same look she had seen earlier. This was the deadly side of Alex that he did not often let out. It was a side that was ruthless and cruel when the time warranted it.  
  
"Jack, take Julia's friend into my salon and shut the door. I want you to watch her, that is all; if you lay a hand on her, I will personally seek retribution. I don't care what injuries she's inflicted on you. Got it?" Ales said quietly, in a tone that spoke volumes of the revenge he would exact if Jack disobeyed him. Jack nodded, roughly grabbing Deirdre by the arm. Julia watched as Deirdre was pulled along, looking back for a moment, apprehension in her eyes. Julia gave her an apologetic look; perhaps trying to cross Alex hadn't been the best of plans. Glancing back at Alex, she decided that it hadn't been a very good plan at all. Julia raised her head proudly, determined to face whatever punishment Alex had in mind head on. She would not back down from him, not even if it killed her. And from the look in Alex's eyes, it very well could.  
  
Whew, I think I got everyone. If I didn't, I love you, thank you! I'm sorry!  
  
JP: You got all caught up and here I am posting a new chapter! Yay for me! Okay sorry this took so long. Hope you enjoy it!  
  
Ice: (Does new reviewer Dance, at least I think that's appropriate here. You haven't reviewed before have you? Bad me I can never remember) Thank you! I'm glad you are enjoying it. I'll check out your story I promise.  
  
Glimmer: Honey you do wonders for my ego. Thank you I happen to like Jude Deveraux very much and to be compared, well thank you! Good luck with that Musical Newsies. Are you going to be a publisher, because if you are, I will be all over having an in! Wooo Hoo! Thank's darling. New Glimmer fic chap soon I promise!  
  
Nevada: Thank you (New reviewer dance!) Thank you dahling!  
  
Kathryn Mason Sykes, Ahh thanks, here's your new chapter. Sorry, brain overload and writers block. Snoring is good! Hope you enjoy this!  
  
Falco: Dear we can all be rather selfish, but I think it will pass soon, only to later appear.... oops make sure the muses didn't hear that, they get so touchy sometimes. Good waffles I need more sustenance I have whole other chapter to write with the other story. Getting behind is very bad! Love ya too hon!  
  
Dreamer: Yay, more De! Yay no more block, I just needed to relax a little and set this aside. Hope you love it!  
  
Rumor: Darling, you gave me another really long review. Dude that is awesome! Very smooth, how else would they continue in society without the smoothness? David's changed will get into that later, he's gotten rather cold as the years have gone by. Oh, this leaves openings to do stories on each of the Wolves... ooooh. Looks like there will be many sequels! As for the sarcasm, usually being incredibly sarcastic myself, I'm pretty good at spotting it. Here ya go Grandma, I can't wait to see your review!  
  
Zee: (new reviewer dance, whew getting tired there have been a lot of these to do today) Thank you! I needed that little boost. I'm glad you are enjoying this! You just have to send me another review! I love them, I need them, I crave them. Thank you!  
  
Raider: More, but sorry not so soon! Glad you like it! I loved the idea of Julia being his competition. Really I did. It was great.  
  
Ali: Yay, my favorite little romantic is back. It's okay just let me know you liked it, please please, even if it is one line. Thank you! Hope school isn't as crazy.  
  
Dreamer Conlon: (New reviewer dance, panting now.) Hey thanks glad you like it!  
  
Angel: Sorry darling, I really try to make sure everyone gets their SO hence the page of SO's. shhh about Jack and De, Dreamer is excitable enough as it is.. and the muses you know the muses rules. The steam has started to rise dear just you wait. I sent you an e-mail on your fic today hope you got it. 


	11. A merger

Julia fought the intimidating effects of his gaze. Finally unable to continue looking at him and keep from back up at the same time, she looked away. She found the rich gold and reds of the library fitting for Alex. Sumptuous, elegant, the colors of fire, yet colors that were at odds with the cold flame blue of those eyes. She could feel those eyes on her as she looked about. She jumped as Alex sighed and she snapped her gaze to him to find him shaking his head.  
  
"I try to keep you from this life, I try to make sure you lived a life of ease, and still you fight me." Alex said. He knew his look was still angry and tried to soften it.  
  
"I didn't want a life of ease, and I didn't want your great sacrifice, Alex." Julia replied, trying to keep her voice level. "You didn't ask what I wanted."  
  
"We couldn't have given you what you wanted." Alex told her. "We had no legal claim on you, we could not refuse your father."  
  
"You didn't even try to stop him." Julia hissed. "You said you would die rather than let him take me."  
  
"Would me dying make it better Julia? Would that make you happy?" Alex asked, his temper was boiling.  
  
"Is it that or did you just want me out of the way?" Julia snapped. Alex looked at her in shock.  
  
"What in the hell are you talking about?" Alex growled.  
  
"You know what I'm talking about." Julia hissed. "You wanted me out of the way so you wouldn't feel guilty about the women."  
  
"You have no idea what actually went on, Julia." Alex ground out. "You weren't there any more to see. What ever your little birdies told you, they didn't get their facts straight. I would have pegged you for being more careful with your information. Stories about me have been exaggerated since I became the leader of Brooklyn."  
  
"I have more of an idea than you think." Julia replied, her smile telling him that she had yet another secret that he knew she wouldn't be too keen on sharing; she was enjoying his discomfort too much. There had been many parts of his past he would have redone if given the chance, and part of it was his involvement with women. Not necessarily his lovers so much as the reputation he had received from some of his more obvious displays. His boys had been just as proud as he at his way with the ladies, and his ability to do anything anywhere with anyone. Still, Julia was rather sheltered, and he doubted she could even begin to fathom some of his exploits.  
  
"What do you mean by that?" He asked, his smile telling her that she didn't know half of what she thought she did.  
  
"You think I don't know Alex, but I do," Alex looked at the infuriated girl before him. Her almond shaped eyes were narrowed and shooting sparks with the anger in them. Yet hidden in that anger was pain. "Are you actually refusing to admit to the reputation you so vigorously worked for? If I remember correctly your most famous exploit was the sweet young daughter of a cobbler that you managed to kiss into enough oblivion that she gave you her virginity on a table top in the Lodging House with all your boys around to watch. Tell me Alex, did you leave her there for your boys to rape or did you keep her for yourself for a little while longer?"  
  
Alex cringed. The story was true, just one of those many things he would have changed. It had upped his reputation for being heartless, making him all the more invulnerable, but at the same time it was not one he had wanted to haunt him later.  
  
"I have no idea what you are talking about." He lied.  
  
"Really, did you forget those innocent brown eyes that watched you so adoringly? Or that creamy white flesh that you bared slowly, so that your boys got a good teaser?" Julia continued. "How about the rouge from her lips that smeared your mouth red, or the way her hands pounded on your shoulders when you took her. Or the way she looked sick and disgusted and disillusioned when you finished and left her there to try to cover herself with the shirt you ripped in your passion. I guess you wouldn't have seen the fact that she had to face the hungry looks of a bunch of Brooklyn boys? Just as eager to have a taste as you were. Is that what you have planned for me Alex, to kiss me into oblivion like you did today in the stables then leave me for someone else?"  
  
"What a description. " Alex chuckled, trying desperately to keep up the charade that it had never happened. He had told his second to make sure she got home safely, but he had never seen to it himself. "Your spies had quite the imagination."  
  
"I didn't need a spy for that description." Julia said sweetly, her smile still telling him she knew something he didn't. "You care for nothing but yourself, Alex. I know that like she didn't know. You are not the boy I loved, nor can you ever become that boy again."  
  
"Then where did you hear of that, who told you those details?" Alex asked, grabbing her arm.  
  
"I didn't need anyone tell me." Julia cried, her anger finally snapping as she tried to wiggle from his iron grasp on her wrist. "I kept the Wolves at bay and took her home, making sure that no one else accosted her. A job you should have seen to, but then, women are whores for your whim Alex, aren't they?" "What were you doing in the Lodging House, Julia?"  
  
"Making sure that my beloved Alex had not forgotten me." Julia's voice dripped with contempt.  
  
"What I did with other women was to forget you, Julia." Alex hissed. "Every women I took was an attempt to wipe you from my memory. I couldn't have you. How could I care for those women when my very soul was tied to you? How could I even have an ounce of pity or remorse when the one person I wanted to touch and love I could never have. That I was never good enough for you Julia."  
  
"You were good enough for me, Alex." Julia whispered, tears at his speech sparkling on her lashes. "That still does not excuse your heartlessness, nor does it assure me you would not do the same to me."  
  
"I have loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you, Julia. You claimed my heart at the tender age of three, I have no choice in my love." Alex said hoarsely. "I never have."  
  
The word love grated past his lips, a word so unused by him for so long he was not sure he even knew how to say it. Yet love was the only emotion that had ever crossed his mind when he pictured Julia.  
  
"I wanted to bring you down, for all the pain you caused me and others." Julia told him softly. "I wanted to hurt you."  
  
"Do you still?" Alex asked. "I deserve pain far more than most men, I do not deny it."  
  
"You have made your mistakes." Julia replied. "You may pay for them yet."  
  
Her eyes told him that she knew he would; he felt a shiver of fear. He knew the things he had done had shattered lives; he prayed whatever happened it did not include Julia.  
  
"Julia, believe me when I tell you that what ever I did was not to harm you, but to forget you." Alex said reaching a hand out. "I would die to protect you."  
  
Looking at him for a moment, she weighed his words. The sight had given her another ability, one that served her well; she knew a lie upon hearing it, and looking at him now he did not lie.  
"I couldn't have you Julia." Alex coaxed. "Do you understand that? I had to deal with the fact that I let you go."  
  
"I had to let you go as well, Alex." Julia whispered. He could see the confusion and fear in her eyes. He had backed her into the desk as they had argued and now he stood only inches from her. Still, if she came to him it would be on her terms and of her own free will. He waited as she took a deep breath and put her hand in his. Smiling, he bent his head, his kiss sweet and gentle. A kiss he pulled away from as it got too heated; she would not be another woman on his list of conquests. Julia Barranoff had never been meant for that. He had known that the moment she had lisped those words that had forever tied him to her.  
  
"Julia." He whispered against her lips as he pulled away.  
  
"What?" she whispered back, only seconds before a crash from the other room brought them both to their senses and looking toward the door. "Deirdre."  
  
She pulled away from Alex as another crash followed the first. She darted for the door and flung it open, running down the hall with Alex hot on her heels. As she flung open the door, she saw Deirdre at one end of the room with a heavy vase in her hands, the remains of two glass objects littering the floor in sparkling diamonds.  
  
"You ever touch me again Kelly and I'll rip your heart out." Deirdre cried.  
  
"De, drop it." Julia snapped. Deirdre looked at Julia for a moment considering her options, giving Alex enough time to grab it from her and set it on the tabletop to his left.  
  
"What happened, Jacky-boy?" Alex asked calmly.  
  
"Nothing, Alex, nothing at all." Jack replied, "the little minx tried to climb out the window and I stopped her."  
  
"Not before ya tried to kiss me." Deirdre retorted.  
  
"I didn't try girl." Jack growled, "I most certainly succeeded."  
  
"Stop it both of you." Alex said looking out the window. Julia glanced at it and gasped. The first rays of light were turning the sky in the east a fiery orange. "You two are leaving now."  
  
"If you think I'm leaving without the painting or the statue, then you are just plain crazy." Deirdre snapped, her attention swinging to Alex.  
  
"I will take them to the client today."  
  
"Like hell you will." Julia snapped, her temper so recently on the surface it quickly began to rise again. "I will take it as a show of faith on your part of the merger." Alex replied calmly. "You have two choices here, I can take it and tell them we took care of the competition or I can tell them that we merged."  
  
"Merged?" Julia looked at him, her narrowed eyes telling him she was weighing her options. She knew and he knew that there was only one option. She looked to Deirdre, who shook her head. "What's better De, that we join or that we die. If the client finds that we didn't follow through and we are still alive, then we are dead."  
  
Deirdre pondered that for a moment then gave Julia a resigned look.  
  
"As long as Casanova over there keeps his hands off, and we get an equal share of the work and the take, I don't care." Deirdre said, her voice saying that she really did care, but she knew when she had been backed into a corner and given only one good option.  
  
"As an act of good faith, I will go with you to the clients." Julia said. "Or there is no deal and I go straight to the client and tell him of our foul up."  
  
Alex looked at her, wondering if he should call her bluff or not. To go to the client meant instant death and the little twit knew that.  
  
"As an act of good faith on your part, of course." Julia repeated. "To ensure we will be treated equally in the Wolves."  
  
Alex nodded slowly, stalling Jacks protests with a raised hand. She knew he wouldn't risk her life and in a way she had been testing him. She smiled as he gave her the correct answer. He offered her his hand and she took it. Jack and Deirdre watched as they left the room, both a little too stunned at the conclusion of this night to do much else.  
  
"It appears we will be working together." Jack sighed shaking his head, his expression telling Deirdre he was not looking forward to it.  
  
"It appears so." She replied. "I mean it though Kelly, you touch me again and you'll be singing in a choir with the gelded Italian boys."  
  
"I don't believe they geld them any more." Jack responded in kind.  
  
"Well then you'll be singing by yourself." She retorted.  
  
"Hmm, interesting proposition." Jack said as though he were actually pondering it. Deirdre cocked her head in a way that told him perhaps now was not the time to be teasing her. "Are you worth one moment of pleasure for a life time of pain?"  
  
"Don't even think it, Kelly." She snapped. He watched as she turned on her heel and headed for the door. "I mean what I say."  
  
"I have no doubts."  
  
"For the second time tonight, what the hell did you get me into Dubois?" Deirdre asked as Alex opened the car door for them.  
  
"I wish I knew what I had gotten myself into, let alone you." Julia replied softly.  
  
"You better figure it out quick." Deirdre sighed. "I'm not sure how much more of the blind leading the blind I can take."  
  
Julia gave her a smile and looked out the window. The trick at the moment would be to sneak back into her room before her parents woke. An interesting challenge, as her father woke precisely at dawn. She prayed he had not tried to check on her that night. She waved at her friend as they dropped Deirdre off. She was glad Jack had opted to stay at the town home; she doubted she would have been able to handle the two of them bickering. To her surprise, she realized her headache was gone. She smiled, thinking that at least something good had come from the night. As she stepped from the car and turned to say goodbye, her heart caught at the man who sat behind the wheel. Now matter what he did, he still was in her heart.  
  
"Will you give me a chance, Jul?" He asked softly.  
  
"You'll have to gain my trust again Alex, but yes." She sighed, giving him a quick kiss before climbing the wall. He watched as she paused for a moment at the top of the stonewall, her silhouette against a back drop of brilliant red, almost the color of blood. He shivered as she disappeared from sight. He would keep her safe. No matter the cost, he would keep her safe.  
Rae Kelly: You demanded, you got more!  
  
Dreamer: So how did you like the little scene between Jack and De? I thought you might like it best of all!  
  
JP: Here's more, hmmmm I think I want green! Ummm green sounds good!  
  
Angel: I promise I'm going over your story, I just wanted to be sure to get everything and let you know exactly what I liked and what I think should be changed. Hang in there honey, I'll get it done I promise!  
  
Raider: I have considered publishing, this particular story is a changed version of one I've wanted to publish, but writer's block has stopped that dream. Hopefully this will loosen it up and give me some fresh ideas for the other story. Thank you for the compliment, and the encouragement!  
  
Zee: It's okay he can't kill her now, if he does then there won't be any more story and the muses can't have that, they want another Epic. (Does famous new reviewer dance. Ha, you guys thought I had forgotten to do that.)  
  
Chelci: Thanks, I really enjoyed that compliment. I like to think my writing is passable, I'm glad you enjoy it that much. Thank you again  
  
Ali: Did you catch your Cameo in this story yet? Yes you are my favorite romantic. Thank you and well, would he be Spot if he wasn't an ass? More on your story darn it!  
  
Rumor: Yay long review, long review! Sorry for the cliffhanger, the muses, I blame it on the muses. He is cruel and vindictive, he's supposed to be darker than previous Spots, he's a criminal. Thank you honey!  
  
Pricilla: (does new reviewer dance) Thank you! *bows* Thank you very much! 


	12. The begining of troubles

A/N: Okay I had this edited and then did a rewrite on some of it and I wanted to post it for all of you that are waiting for it. It hasn't been edited since the last time. Sorry, bare with it and I hope you enjoy it!  
  
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"What in the hell were you thinking telling them they could join the Wolves?"  
  
Alex rubbed his temple. He was already regretting having called the meeting. The few hours of sleep he had managed to get, before David had come storming into his home and woken him up, had not equipped him well enough to deal with David's wrath. He poured himself a whiskey from the crystal decanter while he half listened to David's tirade. Jack didn't look much better than Alex. The others watched in fascination as David passed, running a hand through his hair and making the curls frizz instead of lay flat as they had originally.  
  
"Davey boy, shut your trap and listen." Alex said, finally having enough. "Julia's good. I've never seen Dreamer work, but from the heists we've seen them pull off, she's good too. They'll be an asset, trust me."  
  
"It had to have been planned by a man." David protested. "They just couldn't have come up with the ideas on their own."  
  
"You underestimate Julia." Jack broke in. "She's a clever little devil, always has been. You never worked with her, since she was gone before you came into the picture, at least as part of the Wolves. She left just after the strike. When the Wolves first started, she was the pickpocket and we distracted the mark. She was almost caught a few times, but she managed to sweet talk her way out of it and still come back a few cents richer. "  
  
"She'd bat those big eyes of hers and off they'd let her, though honestly she was only caught a handful of times." Marcus added, his eyes misty as he remembered the past.  
  
Alex studded David as he continued his pacing, his hands still making a mess of his hair. David had certainly changed since joining the Wolves. He had never been naïve like Mush, but he had held a certain ignorance of the world. That is until the death of his family. Alex contemplated the night David had appeared at the Lodging house, his face pale, anger burning in his eyes as he told them his family was dead. His family's death had made him bitter and hard. Alex almost didn't recognize the man he was in comparison to the young idealist David had once been.  
  
"I don't care if she can charm a cobra into not biting her, I wont' allow it." David snapped. Alex went dead still. He really didn't feel like being the leader right now, but if he didn't accept the challenge in David's words they would think him weak.  
  
"You won't allow what, Davey?" Alex asked quietly and calmly. "I don't think you were asked as to what you would or would not allow."  
  
"You know what I mean Alex." David said quickly, his tone faltering as he realized how far over the bounds he had stepped. "We can't allow women into this group, we can't."  
  
"Funny, it was the women that outsmarted you." a feminine voice said, breaking into the conversation. All heads swiveled to the petite blonde that stood in the doorway, her hands on her corseted hips. Jack smirked and she glared. Alex had to stifle a smile of his own. He gave David a warning look as he turned to Julia, who had entered the room with a cool calmness.  
  
"Obviously not or we wouldn't have caught you." David retorted. Julia just raised an eyebrow at him calmly and gave him a smile like that of a mother to a silly child.  
  
"You got lucky." Julia replied as she dropped her shawl onto the top of the red velvet wing backed chair. She turned her back on him as she poured herself a glass of Alex's best whisky.  
  
"Did we?" David sneered. "I don't think so. You left clues all over the place. Hell, you wore a monogrammed scarf into the heist."  
  
Julia stopped dead, the glass at her lips. Gently, she set it down and turned, her eyes flashing in a manner that told him that yet again he had stepped over the lines. She glanced at Alex, who shrugged as if to say this is your fight. He knew that anything he said at this point stood a good chance of undermining her credibility as an asset.  
  
"And tell me, oh brilliant one, exactly what that monogram said." Deirdre broke in; Julia looked quickly at Deirdre, her surprise obvious for a moment before she concealed it.  
  
"Well considering a monogram consists of the bearer's initials then I would assume her initials." David replied as though it should have been the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
"Yes, but Julia has two sets of initials, one from when she was a child and her mother was too afraid to give her, her father's name for fear he'd find them. The scarf carries the initials from then, when she was not a Dubois. Now tell me, who other than the original Wolves would have realized that the initials where that of one Julia Alessandra Dubois? For that matter, even if it was monogrammed who would have connected the scarf to her. It is not fine silk, or like any of the other scarves Julia wears. Instead, it is a hand woven bit of cloth that was hand died by her mother, a common gypsy woman. Had the authorities found it they would have assumed that the thefts they were plagued with were being carried out by a troupe of gypsies. Now tell me, what was the harm in her wearing it when it would be so hard to trace it back to her?" Deirdre looked at him, her arms crossed over her chest, one eyebrow raised in challenge.  
  
For the first time in years, David was speechless. What could he say? She had effectively cut off any of his retorts and any now would sound stupid.  
  
"Thank you." Julia said giving her partner a smile and looking to David as if to tell him exactly how little what he said had fazed her. She turned her attention to the other men in the room, nodding in greeting. "Hello Mush, Race, and Frankie."  
  
"I haven't gone by Frankie in years." Jack said smiling at her. "It's Jack, Jack Kelly."  
  
"Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jumped over the candle stick." Julia smiled back, the memory of that hot day in August plain in her mind.  
  
"Does it still keep you quiet if Alex plays with your hair?" Jack asked, also remembering.  
  
"I haven't really had the chance to find out." Julia responded trying not to blush.  
  
"Why did you try to put us out of business Jul?" Marcus asked, his soft eyes looking at her reproachfully.  
  
"Survival of the fittest boys," Julia said looking to Deirdre, who smiled broadly in agreement.  
  
"Revenge." Alex said simply. "Admit it, you wanted revenge on us for kicking you out."  
  
"I wanted revenge for the life I have been forced into." Julia admitted. "For the mold I have never fit into, for being left alone in a world that was foreign and unfriendly yes, but that was a small part of it. Knowing that I was outwitting those haughty members of my father's circle was another part. For the power, the feeling of invincibility when you have pulled off a heist, now that was the largest part of it."  
  
They all nodded in understanding, for all of them had felt that power, and understood its allure.  
  
"Welcome back." Marcus smiled as he stood and offered his arms for a hug.  
  
"Thank you." Julia replied, blinking back tears. It was nice to belong again. Richard and Jack followed Mush's example and finally there was only David. He, however, did not follow the others. He looked at her contemptuously for a moment, then looked away.  
  
"I can see I am out voted." He said finally. "I will concede, but do not think I like this."  
  
"We never asked you if you liked it." Alex rebuked. "It was never a concern. Now, our next job is in three days. Julia, Deirdre, I want to know all there is to know about the lay out of the Worthington house."  
  
"That's what we do best." Deirdre sighed. Though she rubbed her hands together in anticipation; her face was calm and cool. Julia nodded thoughtfully, her mind already going to where she would find the housing plans and how she would get inside to look things over.  
  
"I'd like to take Jack and David in with this one. I think all of our distinctive abilities and styles will be perfect for this job." Alex continued. "Marcus, I want you to drive the car. Richard, looks like you have a night off."  
  
"Can't say that I'll complain," Richard told him from behind the stogie he had been chewing on thoughtfully. "Though if you need any help, call me."  
  
"Julia what do you know about the Worthington's that we might not?" Alex asked. Julia thought for a moment before replying.  
  
"They have been good friends of my father's for as long as I can remember." Julia told them. "Getting in won't be a problem, though the sniveling twit they call a daughter has never been on my list of favorites, I think I might be able to manage her."  
  
Alex nodded before they began to discuss the possibilities that were open. Out of the corner of his eye he watched David. He was not one to back down as easily as he had. It had been many a fight between the two, though he eventually he gave in as he was not one to challenge Alex's authority. Still Alex did not like the look on David's face when he looked to Julia or Deirdre, but he hoped that David was smart enough not to act on the thoughts that were plain on his face. He would have to keep a close eye on him.  
  
"Do not think that because you are sleeping with Alex you have us all under your thumb." David whispered into Julia's ear. Her eyes narrowed as she turned to look at her antagonist.  
  
"I am not sleeping with Alex." Julia hissed, glancing out of the corner of her eye at the man in which they spoke of before continuing. "And if I do I assure you, you will not be the first to know. Any bonds between Alex and I have been there for longer than you could comprehend."  
  
"You think you know about the streets, but what could a rich little debutant like you know about anything?" David asked, his blue eyes devoid of any warmth.  
  
"You tell me." Julia said, walking past him. She paused for a moment at his side. "I know far more than you could imagine. You think as a newsie you lived it all and I know nothing. I was a newsie too, David. I was a newsie long before you, and I was taught by Spot Conlon; I was Spot's right hand. I alone held the power to sway him. Now tell me if you really wish to continue to threaten me. I know who you are Mouth, I remember you well, though you'd never remember me. You think you convinced the all-powerful Spot Conlon to join the strike, but you didn't. If anyone convinced him it was me. I knew Jacky would flounder, I knew without Brooklyn you would fail, I also knew that the newsies could win. I was the one who sent the runner to keep an eye on Manhattan. I was the one who convinced Spot to go Manhattan and save you the day you walked into the trap laid by Pulitzer. Now tell me David, do you want to cross me?"  
  
"You're threats don't frighten me." David sneered.  
  
"Of course not." Julia replied simply, turning to leave. She stopped again, barely a foot away. "Oh, and David, you might want to keep a better eye on your wallet."  
  
She smiled sweetly as she held it out. He glared at her as he snatched it from her grasp.  
  
"And your pocket watch." She said holding out the brass piece of jewelry. She could feel his eyes on her, and if looks could kill she had no doubts as to what her state of living would be. Still, she had won the battle; she hoped that perhaps she might have earned just a grudging amount of his respect. She doubted it, but it was a nice thought.  
  
She gave Deirdre a wink a she passed by her on her way to the doorway where Alex leaned. She had no doubts either as to the fact that he had watched the whole exchange.  
  
"Still light fingered." He said, his face expressionless as he looked down at her.  
  
"Yes." Julia responded, "Would you expect anything less?"  
  
"Not from you." He acknowledged. "Some would have gotten soft in their new profession, but somehow I don't see you ever getting soft when it comes to stealing."  
  
"Stealing is such a harsh word." Julia countered. "I prefer lightening the load of the over indulged."  
  
"Such a long explanation when stealing is succinct, why not call it what it is." Alex asked. "We're thieves Julia. We're good at what we do, but that is what we are. No fancy name is going to change it."  
  
"I know." She sighed. "It can't be wrong to steal from those that have so much."  
  
"I suppose if we were stealing to help others it would wipe out our sin, but we steal for amusement, for power, for wealth. I don't believe we'd make good Robin Hoods."  
  
"We could if we wanted to, but we tend to be a rather greedy lot." Julia smiled impishly up at him. He chuckled; it felt good to have her next to him. He didn't know how much he had missed it until she was there. He looked down at her and she met his eyes, hers twinkling up at him as they had years ago. She was older, wiser, stronger, smart, and more beautiful than she had been then, but she was still his Julia. His mind wondered to the question that had continuously plagued him. Where would they go from here? How would they continue to have their relationship, marriage was his only option. Not one he was apposed to either, Julia was not a girl to play with. Never would he play with her, though he had been sorely tempted. "Julia follow me out?" Deirdre asked as she shot David one last glare and started for the door. Julia threw him a smile before complying.  
  
"I hope you are not letting your judgment to be clouded by your emotions." David said coldly drawing his attention away from Julia's retreating back. " I'm not a fool, I can see how you look at her. I think you're desires are getting in the way of your decisions. You must make choices based upon what is best for us all."  
  
"Are you questioning my ability to lead Davey?" Alex's attention snapped to the man, his eyes narrowing dangerously. Alex reacted swiftly before David even saw it coming. Grabbing David roughly and slamming him back into the wall. His muscular forearm found it's way against David's throat making him reach up to attempt to pull it way as it obstructed his intake of air. Alex continued between clenched teeth. " You wouldn't be telling me how to lead would you? You forget yourself; I led Brooklyn, the strongest, toughest and most powerful of all the boroughs. I led them before you even knew how to sell paper. Years before you even knew me. I was the youngest, roughest, toughest leader ever known, a legend through out New York, and probably everywhere else. I've killed men for less Davey; if I were you I'd forget that train of thought. I'd burry it before it buries you."  
  
He stepped back allowing David a breath of air. David slid down the wall his hand reaching for his throat as he gasped for air.  
  
"You know your way out David." Alex said not even looking back as he walked through the doorway. He did not see the hatred that burned in David's eyes, and if he had he would have laughed it off. If he had Julia's visions though he would not have brushed it off. A Wolf would become a rat, the hatred, greed, and lust for power would overwhelm him. He would see a weakness in Alex. A weakness he would work to exploit. For the man that in his own mind did not take him serious enough.  
  
The green seed of envy at Jack's status of Alex's right hand man had germinated years ago. In David's mind he had been the brains and strength behind the strike. He kept forgetting the key roles of the other two men. Of the strength and charisma that they held, a charisma he had never had. Without Alex and Jack there would never have been a strike, but time has a way of dulling memories and any thoughts of the charm he lacked had turned to jealousy.  
  
Without knowing it both Julia and Alex had set wheels in motion. Wheels fate would use to test them. For I believe fate tests you to decide if you deserve what it has to offer. Either that or life is one grand joke at our expense, a thought I'd rather not contemplate for too long. I believe fate tests you to see if you are truly worthy of what it would give you. Testing was coming, testing that would rip them apart again, for faith had little time to grow between them, and danger was something that courted Alex like a shadowy lover. Unfortunately for them both, Alex's faith in his own ability to keep them safe would cause a rift that was almost unrepairable.  
* * * * *  
JP: I believe you offered cotton candy, I wanted green cotton candy. Hmmm I updated, sorry this took me so long, but it just wouldn't flow. I had to flip to another story just to save myself from writers block. Here's more for you though. Okay I'm off to write up my little piece so you can write me into Glow Bright. YAYA!  
  
Dreamer: Ah thank you for the help, I really needed an outside muse for the writing of this chapter, I have been so stuck. The original story isn't helping either since I haven't written the part between where........ooops I have to e-mail it other wise I'll give away what happens to everyone else. Anyway, take what's going to happen to Julia and imagine that the story pretty well picks up there in the other story. Ugh. Thank you for the beginning of your latest chapter, I loved it. Oh and I figured it would be apropos for me to write here a thank you for adding me into the story. It's awesome really, it is!  
  
Rae Kelly: I guess they do, hey have you seen your muses lately? I keep seeing unfamiliar ones hanging out with mine, I'm wondering if they keep eluding you. He, he, he. Here's some more for you.  
  
Ice: Another update albeit rather belated, but still I managed it. With three stories going at one time I just have to take what information the muses throw out and write with it. They've been rather stuck on the new story. Something about the challenge of writing a bad boy Mush has them obsessed. Hmmm looking for female newsies for the newest story throw me the general info and I'll add you in.  
  
Raider: Dahling when do I ever make things that easy for my characters. If I did the story would be done so much sooner. Besides love something they always have to fight for. I figure if I have to so should they. Still you know I can't keep them apart. Hope you enjoyed this chapter  
  
Pricilla: Hey thanks. As for the merger, well I answered that question. Most of them are okay with it after having worked with Julia before. All except bitter evil David. Well not evil, just bitter and hard. I updated as soon as the muses would let me  
  
Minty Fresh: Interesting name. (Does infamous new reviewer dance). Thank you, thank you, and thank you. Thank you! I am glad you are enjoying this, your complements were very sweet.  
  
Ali: I don't believe the chemistry is one sided, or at least not right now, but De is just as aware of Jack's past as Julia is of Alex's. Still that's another story for once that is done. I see you found your cameo here. Yes you are Ally, send me a description, she's about to have a much bigger part than previously played. There also may be some chemistry of your own with a certain muscle-bound newsie that we all know and love. Can you guess which one? That too will have to be another story for another time, but it will happen. He he he. I figured a little romance for my favorite romantic, would be a fine gift for following me through all of these stories so far. Of course Alex is an ass, he's basically a criminal. Actually in his words they're thieves. Sorry in advance for the heart breaking, but that is what makes the rest of it so beautiful right? I'm waiting rather impatiently for the next chapter in your story dahling, hope to see it soon.  
  
Rumor: Howdy Grandma how ya doin? Yup, he's not exactly the boy next door, he's done many things he's not proud of, however we still love him. I'm glad you liked the fact I added some harsh truth to it. He is an ass, very arrogant our Jacky-boy still, we all love a little arrogance in our men. After the movie though can you honestly see him as being anything else? He was rather arrogant then. (Does long review dance) he he he there you go! Love ya!  
  
Zee: Nope just when you're a new reviewer. Oops well take it for what it's worth. He's supposed to flip around emotionally he's rather erratic. He's supposed to be that way too. Think of it this way. He's been the leader for so long that what ever he does and whatever he says goes. His temper and everything else is overlooked. In public he wears a mask of civility, but underneath he's a criminal. We all love him, but that is what he is. He has the hardness and the erratic behavior of such. He's brilliant, strong and utterly dangerous. Can you tell I like the word erratic. I have intentionally had his emotions go from one to the other, because he doesn't need that mask around Julia, she's known him for so long that he can do as he pleases with her. So anyway I haven't tried to get him to slowly switch emotions because I personally have switched emotions rather quickly. Especially when I'm dealing with someone that I'm trying to get to see things my way. Okay I'm done with that. Thank you for the opinion. I do value you it. Feel free to let me know anything else like that.  
  
Sparker: Thank you honey. Get some sleep alright, I don' t want to be responsible for sleep deprivation really.  
  
Glimmer: I'm just glad you did review. Thanks. I hope she would be proud. And yes love is a dangerous thing.  
  
Ursula: Hey thanks, I love the word puckish. Thank you I do try to use my vocabulary for all it is worth. I have my stuff edited and neither of us caught that. Thanks. Oh and as for the pins and needles, I think it's only going to get worse. By the way thank you for your honest opinion and the constructive criticism. I love to get it  
  
Kathryn Mason-Sykes: I know you've been waiting for this for a while. Thank you for your patience, and thank you for editing! Love ya! Oh and I want more info on your interview with Aaron Lohr. 


	13. The Wheels in Motion

The beginning of their test came the night of the heist, which came sooner than planned. Odd for a heist, I know, but circumstances dictated it that way. Actually, to be more succinct, David dictated it that way. Alex was in his study reading, trying to calm his nerves, his throbbing heart, and the excitement that usually precluded a job. He swirled cognac in his glass, his eyes on the fire, instead of the book in his lap. The sunset cast a soft golden glow into the room and upon his face. Its rays softening the hard planes to almost a boyishness. A thoughtful look was on his face.

His mind was sorting through the happenings of the past few weeks and planning for the happy future he would have with Julia. The phrase 'counting your chickens before they hatch' comes to mind. For that was exactly what he was doing.

He heard the commotion at the door, but ignored it, figuring that his butler would deal with it and if he couldn't he would seek Alex out. The commotion, however, did not cease. Instead it moved down the entryway, down the hall, until David flung open the study doors to the butler's protests.

David said nothing at first, only looked at Alex as if composing himself. The action reminded Alex of something, but he couldn't quite place what. David's curls were more disarrayed than they had been the morning of their argument. Jameson, Alex's butler looked over David's should gesturing his helplessness.

"What are you doing here?" Alex asked coldly, "You had better have a good reason for harassing my butler and disturbing my peace."

"It's Bull Masterson." David said in a breathless tone. Alex's minds sharpened as the words hit his brain, but he remained calm, the perfect picture of aloofness. He brought the glass close to his face. It would have taken Julia or I to see the way those three words had snapped him to attention like an animal that sensed danger.

"What of him?" Alex replied, his voice still calm and collected though his heart thundered in his ears. Bull Masterson had been a friend turned enemy. Just after Julia had left the Wolves and they had begun stealing from homes, they had taken him in to replace her. He had betrayed them, ruined a heist, and damaged their reputation enough to set the Wolves back a year, maybe two. He had been at Alex's heels ever since, trying to out do him, just as Julia had done, only not as cleverly or as well as Julia.

"He's caught wind of the heist, and he's going to go in tonight and take the job from under us," David told him. Alex's face darkened, and he threw his glass into the fire with a howl of rage. The fire flamed as the alcohol touched it, almost seeming to mimic Alex's wrath.

"When will that half-wit cease?" he growled more to himself than to David, the wheels in his head turning as swiftly as they were able. There was something about Bull Masterson that tested the limits of his self-control and usually infuriated him beyond thought. If it had been anyone else, Alex would have questioned the source. He would have thought, instead of reacted, but it was not to be. In fact, those that sought to destroy him were counting on him to loose his temper. "Get a hold of as many Wolves as possible, including Deirdre. I won't let him get away with this. We move tonight, before he does."

"What of Julia?" David asked.

"I'll get Julia. We'll meet in Central Park in the usual spot." Alex called over his shoulder, as he was already exiting the room. He didn't even look back. He did not see David's self-satisfied smirk. He did not even pause for a coat. He left the house, hailing a taxi as jogged down the stairs. It was just shy of eleven and he hoped Julia's parents had not dragged her to the Windthrop's again tonight. Julia had attended quite a few dinners there, on Alex's insistence; he did not want to alert her parents to their relationship before he had a chance to set into motion the plans he had.

The taxi stopped houses away from Julia's and Alex paid the driver before walking hurriedly down the street. He stopped at the wall, glancing around before climbing it as he had done years before.

They each had their secrets and that was his. He wondered how many times he had snuck into her room and she had thought it no more than a dream. It had been harmless until he had realized how she had grown. Until the sweet childish love he had felt for her had started to turn toward something a little more.

He shook his head, his mind turning once more to the task at hand, though try as he might he could not free it of the past. He pushed himself over the balconies stone rail and pulled the key from around his neck. He opened the door soundlessly, his mind still half in his memories, half in reality.

Julia's hair lay across the bed in silken locks. Just as it had that night, so many years ago, that night he had disappeared from her life for good, or at least that is what he had vowed. Some promises were meant to be broken and some vows could not be kept.

Moonlight fell across her face, and the memory of that night overwhelmed him. If he had listened to the past, if he had read the signs, he might have known the night was doomed to repeat itself, but he didn't. Hindsight is twenty-twenty and foresight is blind, unless you happened to be Julia.

The bed was imposing, he remembered, she was almost lost within it. Her face was tear-streaked and he wondered what had caused her to cry. He visited the grounds of her father's home often, always to check up on her. He could not reconcile the girl the maid he had tumbled the night before had told him of. The best way to know how she did was through the servants, but there was something that they did not know, or did not understand. A secret that was under wraps, something that was whispered about, but the maid had yet to hear exactly what was wrong. Still, the girl was new and it would be a little while before she knew all the house's secrets. The maid had told him of her solitude; she spent most of her time in the very room in which he now stood. She curled up in the velvet- covered chair just behind him, in front of the fireplace, or in the window seat of the parlor, hidden behind the heavy draperies, often even in the garden always with a book. The maid said she spent most of her time reading or daydreaming. The cook said it was all the little mistress ever did; she was not a social creature. Then the cook had said something cryptic about there being something wrong with Julia. The maid guessed that perhaps she was sick. Upon hearing that, he had to see her. It had been years since he had used the key she had thrown at him to sneak in her room to see her. When he had first made her leave he had visited almost nightly, it had left an ache in his chest and a lump in his throat every time. Still, he was miserable without her and could not just let her go. Eventually he had weaned himself of that habit, but he had never been able to relegate her to the past.

"Alex." She breathed, startling him. Yet looking at her he realized she was dreaming. "Don't leave me Alex, please."

"Hush Julia." He whispered sitting next to her, his hands brushing the stray hair that curled against her sweat dotted brow.

"Alex." She mewed. It broke his heart to see a fresh wave of tears course down her cheeks from under her closed lids. Unable to help himself, he slid an arm under her shoulders and pulled her to him, her tears wetting his shirt as her head rested on his shoulder as if she was meant to be there.

"I'm here, Jul." he told her softly, his breath making her stir. Slowly her eyes fluttered open and she looked up. Most women would have at least made some cry of surprise, but she smiled at him.

"Alex." She said her eyes shining with the remnants of tears. He smiled at her and gently ran a knuckle down her cheek, wiping away the last of her tears. "Always a shadow, always in my dreams, a ghost I can never be free of."

He thought to tell her it was no dream, but he discarded that idea knowing that it would be better if she did not know.

"Why did you leave me Alex?" she asked, her eyes full of sorrow and pain. "Why?"

"You could not stay Julia." He replied. "You had a better life to live."

"My life could never be better without you in it." she sighed. "You were so proud, so strong, standing there telling me I could never see you again, that you never wanted to see me again. Since I was starting to disgust you now that I was rich and I was starting to act like it. I would have given it all up for you; I would have gone to the ends of the earth for you."

"So would I, little one." He said, his eyes closing against the pain of her words. He had seen the look of utter devastation in her eyes that night. "I wanted you to move on, I did not want to drag you down with me not while you had such opportunities."

"Such lovely words you tell me in my dreams." She whispered. "Will you kiss me as you always do?"

Alex hesitated. He had never actually been the one kissing Julia, and before she had left she was too young to be though of in that manner, so he was left not knowing what to do. He glanced down; her nightgown had slipped from one shoulder, one smooth shoulder no longer bony like a child, but curved and soft. The top of one breast was bared, the rest outlined by the soft silk. For the first time he realized she was not the little girl he had forced from his life. Instead she was a woman, and with this knowledge came a whole new set of feelings he had not expected. She looked at him curiously, and he could tell she was wondering what was so different about this Alex than her dream Alex.

He looked away, weighing his options. He thought for only a moment, for that was all the time allotted to him. Her hand reached up and gently touched one cheek.

"What is the harm in a kiss?" she asked. "It is merely a dream, a sweet dream that will leave me with the morning mists. Still, it will warm me for days to follow, with wishes that in the daylight I know will never come true."

He looked back down at her, what would the harm be? She thought it a dream, what could possibly be wrong with giving her a kiss? He gave her a soft smile as he leaned down. However, he did not kiss her in the chaste manner in which she expected; instead he kissed her as he would if she were one of his class and his to claim. She gave a squeak of surprise as he did, her hand pushing against his shoulder for a moment before she relaxed in his arms and responded with a passion born of the idea it was little more than a dream. It was harmless, right?

He found exactly how harmless it was not, for her innocent passion touched him in a manner he had never known. The passion he felt roaring within him was something he did not have control over. Her hair fell over his arm in a silken skein, her scent was soft, floral, and entirely feminine. No smoke filled the air, there was no taste of stale cigarettes and ale. Her body was soft, but untried and it was something he had never experienced before. His hands were roaming without conscious thought, filling themselves with her as he had never been able to do before.

This woman held his heart in her hands, she always had, and that made all the difference in his need for her. His brain was not a part of his decision as he leaned her back, rolling to his side, laying on her back in front on him, his hand traveling down her thigh to where her nightgown had bunched. His lips traveled from hers, down the side of her neck and not stopping until he had reached the softness beneath the collar of her gown.

"Alex." She breathed, her eyes closed. It stopped him dead and he looked into her beautiful face. His breathing was harsh in the silence of the night and he backed away, afraid of what he had almost done. Julia deserved better than that, better than him. She was little more than sixteen, what right did he have to do this? He felt sick with shame. She was not one of the countless women that he had had over the years. She was meant for more.

"Alex?" He looked down to find her looking at him curiously, worry gleaming in her eyes. "What happened?"

"Something that should have never happened." He replied.

"It is only a dream." She laughed softly, the sound striking his heart with its beauty.

"We can't be together, even in your dreams Julia." He said, his voice full of sorrow, and he knew that never again could he come back into this room...

"Alex?" Julia breathed, breaking him from his memories and his trance. He started at her voice and looked to where she wa,s her eyes shining with love just as they had been that night. He felt a chill go down his spine. A feeling that perhaps he never again should have come into this room was starting to creep over him. He shrugged it off. Julia was meant for him and he for her, right. She had foretold it and Julia was never wrong.

"Alex?" she asked again.

"Meet me at my house; the heist happening tonight." He told her softly, before turning and leaving her looking in confusion at his retreating back.

"Alex." She said again. He turned to find her standing and could not do more than watch her as she moved closer. "I love you."

She offered it to comfort him, to let him know whatever happened she planned to be by his side.

"I love you too." He replied, crushing her to him as soon as she was close enough. His kiss showed the desperation he did not understand why he felt. "Meet me at the house."

Julia nodded and watched him go; he seemed to fade into the night like a ghost.

_Over the cobbles he clattered and clashed in the dark inn-yard, And he tapped with his_

whip on the shutters, but all was locked and barred. He whistled a tune to the window,

and who should be waiting there But the landlord's black-eyed daughter, Bess, the

landlord's daughter, Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.

- The Highwayman, Alfred Noyes

**Ice Renegade: Thanks for the info. I'll try to get that chapter up soon, actually I'm on my way right now to work on it!**

Ali: Thank you! I thought turning David from the sweet good kid into a bad man was a pretty interesting twist . Alex isn't going to play Julia intentionally, but still. As for romance well here was quite the interlude for you. I hope you loved this chapter and you'll see more of Ally soon.

**  
Sparker: Thank you, I hope you love this chapter as well. It took me long enough to get it out. Sorry I didn't update sooner!**

JP: I sent this off to be reviewed before you got back from the hospital, SO's and all. Yay I get green cotton candy. Wooo hooo! Even if you have to blind fold me. Will you tell me it's lime or apple flavored? Does JP is home from the hospital dance over and over and over and over.

Dreamer: Thank you for the help on the last chapter again, this chapter wouldn't tie in so well if I hadn't had the last one to go off of. Have you been in a writers block since I left or what gives. I got online anxiously awaiting a new chapter only to find you are as behind as I am. It is probably the stages of the story I was talking about, though after my hiatus I am rather refreshed. I'd better be right? Can't wait for your new chapter!

Rumor: Careful it's not sweet Davy your thumbing your nose at. As for Spot, nope he's not sweet either. I think his cheese has slid off his cracker a bit, Davy that is. We're going to a slumber party? Where? Are you talking about JP's story? Tell me if something is blatently wrong, I'll fix it. I like a to have realism in my story instead of a fluffy fairytale. Nothing comes easy especially not love and the modern masses would do well to remember that rather than thinking marriage means you will live happily ever after. Love is hard work, very hard work and there are always snags in real life. Besides I love history so something glaringly wrong bothers me too! Yeah living alone has many benefits, such as bouncing around my apartment at 2 in the morning dancing to Sing, Sing, Sing, or Madonna, or whatever else strikes my fancy. I love living alone, well at least alone without roommates they come with too much baggage. As for making an ass of yourself, you're only an ass if you feel stupid about what you did not because other people think you are being stupid. Whoa philosophical me, that's odd, I'll stop. I hope you enjoyed the chapter.  
Ursula: Hey thanks it seems to be a consensus everyone liked Davy. Funny I don't think they will like him for too much longer. I hope this one was enjoyable.

Angel: It's okay, I forget to review all the time, I get so wrapped up in stories I forget to send off the necessary info. Spot is an intimidating character was even in the movie. Jack and De will have more steamy scenes in their story which I will be writing after I finish this one. I promise, for now though I'm not sure you'll see too much of them after the heist, at least not for a little while. Hope you liked.

Pricilla: Are you going into withdrawls now? Things are cooling off for them, it's just the focus is more on Julia and Alex right now. Sorry it too me so long to update.

KatMS: Thank you, I would have sent it off to be edited again, but I was afraid people had waited too long for a story from me. He, he, he, now almost a month after my last update. Sorry, thank you for the e-mail you sent it really perked me up! And as always thank you for editing this.

Glimmer: Thank you Glim, as always your review was eloquent. Thank you again.

Nevada: Glad you liked this chapter, hope you like this one just as much.


	14. The Puppeteer

Sorry it's been so long since I've last updated regularly, but I now have access to a computer that has a Word program on it. Regularly, actually I own it! Yay! I hope you all enjoyed and thank you all for reading, a new chapter to follow soon I promise. I know everyone hates the general S.O.'s, but I hope you'll forgive me. Thank you to all my fans, and I promise, I really am back, and S.O's with the next chapter!  
  
Warning, I was in such a hurry to get this out I did not even have this edited first. Again forgive me and I hope you'll enjoy!  
  
Julia ran her hands up her arms at the brief breeze that caressed her arms and brought goose bumps to the flesh that was exposed by the rolled up sleeves of her shirt. Alex had left but moments before and she had felt the change in him. The sense of unease that had hung about him like a shroud.  
  
She shivered at the thought that had come to her mind. They all knew the risk they took, they all knew that they courted death, and ruin with every heist. Someone in most of the households of the wealthy owned a gun and were not afraid to use it to protect what was deemed valuable. She prayed tonight would not fulfill the dark and morbid thought.  
  
The idea of Alex dead was more than Julia could take, it made her breath stop and her heart pause. Her wardrobe door stood open, a pale dress in the opening dark where bits of dirt and green stains marred the dove gray satin. She smiled remembering the night she had spent with Alex roaming through Central Park, as free as they had been as children. Climbing trees, chasing each other through the grass, a moonlit picnic. It had been all she could have ever asked for. It seemed miles away.  
  
She sighed and reached toward the door to push the dress back into hiding praying as she did her stepmother never found it for there would be hell to pay. It would be like her stepmother to find it as she slept in from the night's excursions.  
  
On a sudden whim she reached for the small canvas bag she kept at the bottom of her wardrobe, it came in handy when trying to climb down trellises to escape into the night. Stuffing the dress into the bag she smiled grimly to herself and turned to yet another trellis to climb praying as she always did that they would remain safe and return victorious. This time however, it felt as though it was all in vain. She was being pulled into the events of tonight like a puppet, she could feel fate pulling the strings. She hated being the puppet, but there are times you can not run, and you can not resist, you can only pray the out come would be in your favor.  
  
Julia arrived at the town house that Alex called home. The lights were all out making the windows almost moan in their emptiness. She felt a chill worm it's way up her spine and closed her eyes shaking her head to make the feeling disappear. There was something very wrong with this night she could smell it on the wind and feel it worming its way through her senses. She trusted those senses explicitly, but for the first time in years she tried to ignore them.  
  
She took a deep breath and started up the stairs where she had paused only to be met at the top by Alex. His face was pale in the darkness, his eyes dark and fathomless. Again she ignored the signs that were all about here. The warnings that were whispering along her skin. His hair was free and freshly washed, his breeches and shirt homespun, his face softened in the darkness. For a moment she saw Alex, the Alex she had as a young child, the Alex she had loved and trusted. For a moment all the hurt and anguish of the past few years slipped away and she was free, free of constraint, free of her father, free of the expectations of a society she hated. S  
  
he smiled softly at him and he returned it as under the spell as she was. For a moment it lasted and that was all they were granted before the shadow fell over Alex's face and he gestured roughly for her to follow.  
  
She did, the silence between them as deep as a cavern, a cavern that was rapidly growing, creating a chasm she feared soon neither would be able to cross, and the fragile happiness of the past few weeks would end.  
  
Neither spoke on the walk, the silence reigned until they reached the meeting place at Central Park. Julia found the rest of the group gathered each looking determined and worried. All looking almost like soldiers on their way to war. Again Julia shivered, her mind whispering things that threatened to become full-blown visions. She shook her head again praying that she would not get one, praying that they would not interfere with this heist.  
  
" Are you all right Jul?" Alex asked worry marking his words, worry she did not want him to feel, but he knew her too well and she knew he had seen the faraway gleam in her eye that always marked the visions. He stopped short of the people that waited for them, his hand going to her arm detaining her non-too gently. She wondered what was going through his mind. His eyes were hooded and distant. She could not read him for the first time in the entire time she had known him. She knew that look, that brooding look that held a note of danger that often made men cower. Never had he turned it on her, with her he had always been open the only person he shared everything with. He had always told her more than he had ever told me. It hurt her, but not to be out done she raised her head, her own eyes shielding her emotions as effectively as his did.  
  
"I'm fine Alex, perfectly fine," she replied firmly and breezily as if she didn't have a care in the world. She turned on her heel and entered the clearing ignoring the protests of Alex.  
  
Tension was crackling in the air like the moments just before lightning strikes. Something was going to happen and she could not ignore it forever. Something was in the air tonight and Julia knew if they gave up tonight something would be righted and their lives could be normal. Though if they ignored it she sensed it would rip their lives apart. She could feel it in the wind that ran it's icy hands up her arms sending chills through her body. For a moment Julia had the urge to turn and run away, an urge she had to fight from following.  
  
"Perhaps we should let them have this heist." she whispered haltingly as they all gathered together, her voice becoming far off. Still the visions that threatened to crowd her brain she fought. Alex looked at her as if she was crazy.  
  
"You aren't loosing your edge are you?" David sneered and Julia stiffened her spine. For the first time Alex only watched her waiting to see what her answer would be, too intent on vanquishing his enemy to hear the tone in her voice that would have told him she knew what she said. That she was receiving warnings he was ignoring, warnings that were bearly of interest to him, but were screaming at her.  
  
"Careful." Julia snapped pulling on her pride, though she had seen the fear in David's eyes. She knew he had laid his words as bait and she was foolish enough to rise to it. She cursed her temper and pride, but it did not keep her from her next words. Words that set in stone what would happen, which would seal her fate. " The edge of a knife can so easily fool you into thinking it is not sharp. I wouldn't test me David."  
  
She wondered what David had to gain from this, why he wanted so badly for them to do this heist. She shook her head again, if she had only listened to her instincts.  
  
Alex spoke briefly, but they all knew what they were to do. The chief responsibility of Julia and Deirdre was to get inside and then let the men in. It was simple enough at least if everything went according as planned.  
  
As they approached the home the sense of dread only grew. She found Alex as cold and cool as a knife, the knife she had spoken of. She hoped he had not fooled her into believing he was not dangerous. So intent on what he deemed his that he would wound those that tried to stop him. He was shutting her out completely, something he had never done and she didn't like it at all. She smiled grimly at Deirdre as they circled the house looking for open windows trying to replace the hurricane of emotions with impassioned calm.  
  
"Jackpot." Deirdre breathed as she tested the library window. She deftly hooked her foot over the opened ledge and swung herself up balancing for a moment making Julia long to pull on the leg left on the side of freedom. If she pulled down now they could make a run for it, if she didn't they would be stuck. It was the final choice and she willed herself to watch as Deirdre's blonde braid disappeared into the open mouth of the window.  
  
Closing her eyes she reached for the sill and repeated the process. She was mildly disconcerted to find the canvas bag still on her shoulder. Surprised no one had asked about it and surprised she had forgotten to leave it at Alex's, she mentally scolded herself for her lack of attention to details. It was a trait she needed right now, she could not afford to become flighty.  
  
She felt someone grab her leg causing her to jump nearly knocking her head against the opened windowpane. She had hesitated too long. Looking down at her capture she was relieved to find Alex looking up at her, his face hidden by the shadows. She calmed her pounding heart as he squeezed her leg in comfort, for a moment the warmth of the feelings they shared blocking out all the fear and tension of the night.  
  
"Be careful." he whispered and she nodded, before she heeded Deirdre's tugs on her sleeve and slipped into the window.  
  
The library was on the main floor, the ball room lay at the other end of the house where a set of stairs rose gracefully to the edge of a glass paned wall. In the middle of the wall they would find a set of French doors that opened onto the patio. Just past the glass Alex and the other boys would wait hidden by the shadows until the girls opened the doors to give them access.  
  
Silent as spirits they floated across the marble floors to the ballroom. It was the safest room in the house to enter through, as it was not used unless there was to be a party.  
  
From experience Julia knew that the ballroom while very busy at night during the season would often, be neglected until an upcoming event. The Worthington's, Julia knew would not be hosting another party for a few weeks. Mrs. Worthington had been a little under the weather and did not have the "strength" for such an undertaking. Julia snorted softly, as though ordering the servants about took much strength. It wasn't as if she would clean or cook for the event.  
  
The house was like a tomb and it took a matter of minutes for Julia and Deirdre to run through the shadows their destination. The boys entered as silently, the sleeping occupants of the house none the wiser. David made as though to join them, but Alex made a slashing motion with his hand telling him silently that he was not to go. Julia watched closely as David slid into the shadows his eyes burning with a hatred that made her shudder.  
  
Julia took her place at Alex's side, Deirdre and Jack just behind them. The safe was in the library, rare Roman coins locked within its depths. The fear that had haunted her started to fade replaced by the rush of her adrenaline. Like the Wolves they had named themselves for they hid in the shadows moving as a pack stalking their prey. Everyone knew their role, everyone knew their job, and everyone was prepared to protect the other. The boys turned toward the library and the safe within the girls were to wait outside keeping watch. Julia could see Deirdre chafing against the orders, muttering all the while about what a better job she could do.  
  
"Be still De, you'll get us caught." Julia whispered. She could see Deirdre relax against the wall more in a huff than in acquiescence. The fear was back and she found herself tugging on her dress nervously as the voice whispered within her head. A voice whispering for her to put it on, she pushed it away. The shear craziness of the idea making her shake her head at herself. It became more insistent her hand already pulling the dress from the bag before she could stop herself.  
  
"Oh God not now." Deirdre hissed as Julia felt her eyes cloud over, her head falling limply against the wall. She felt Deirdre's arms wrap around her, she felt herself being dragged away.  
  
"Julia, Julia not now stop it, for God's sake stop it." Deirdre was hissing, the frantic tone beginning to rise.  
  
"I can't" Julia whispered. " I can't."  
  
"I'll get Alex." Deirdre said making a decision the words more for herself than for Julia. Which was better as Julia's eyes saw nothing more than the vision that had over come her.  
  
Blue uniformed officers spilled into the library. Guns raised and pointed at the two men that were within, the safe open, coins in their hands. Deirdre stood by the window her eyes wide with fear and the knowledge that at last she had been caught. Jack pushed her behind him protectively, Alex looked with burning eyes at the man who stood with them, his pious look marred for a moment with a sneer.  
  
"Don't think you can get away with this Bull." Alex growled his voice deadly as his muscles bunched like a panther ready to spring at his prey. Julia looked down seeing her hand on the door knob, her wrists bound with rope, then her wrists free, the stained dress from her bag falling in a graceful folds from her hips to her warn gray pants.  
  
"Your choice." A female voice whispered in her head, sagacious and heavy like that of a wise woman. Looking she saw an old woman in the corner, the connection she felt telling Julia she was related to this person in some way. Her thick accent telling Julia she was a gypsy. " Make it now, you can save him, though it might jeopardize all you have built."  
  
"There is no choice." Julia whispered back." I would give my life to save him."  
  
"It may come to that." the old woman responded before Julia felt herself being pushed back with an urgency that told her she did not have much time.  
  
With a will that would force her to survive the upcoming trials in her life she pulled back from oblivion. Back from the future, her head spinning with the effort. She blinked, it had taken mere minutes, and precious minutes she could not waste. Glancing at her lap she saw the dress spread out, shivering with the knowledge that it had not been coincidence that had prompted her to bring it, it had not been a mistake. Something was guiding her, something had given her the vision, the power to pull back, and the knowledge of how to save those she cared about from disaster.  
  
Acting quickly she slipped her suspenders from her shoulders, and pulled off her hat. Her hands trembled on the buttons, but she forced herself on until she stood only in her pantaloons and corset. Quickly she pulled the dress over her head ignoring the rending of fabric as the fitted bodice protested being pulled over her shoulders without being unbuttoned. It would look better for the role she was going to have to play she told herself.  
  
She pulled her hair from its braid and let it cascade down her back. Reaching for the sleeve of her shirt she ripped it away.  
  
A small bit of rope lay at the bottom of her bag and she pulled it out as she placed her other clothes and the sleeve of her dress inside.  
  
"Freeze." a voice bellowed making Julia jump and drop the rope. Quickly and with deftness she did not know she possessed she tied her wrists with her teeth and her hands. The moment that was done she took the handle of the bag in her hands and make for the door trying to school her features into a mask of fear. Given the circumstances it was not hard to do. Her hands paused for a moment on the knob, before she quickly wrenched the door open sending it crashing into the wall with a crash.  
  
Deirdre stood by the window her eyes wide with fear and the knowledge that at last she had been caught. Jack pushed her behind him protectively, Alex looked with burning eyes at the man who stood with them, his pious look marred for a moment with a sneer.  
  
"Don't think you can get away with this Bull." Alex growled deadly as his muscles bunched like a panther ready to spring at his prey. His eyes glittering, the only part of his face that was fully visible and the danger in them telling most that they did not want to see the rest of that look.  
"What is this?" The nearest policeman cried his eyes wide on the disheveled woman before him, her face telling him of her fear and hope. She did not look at Alex, she knew he would understand what she meant to do. Babbling as if she were near incoherent with hysteria Julia stumbled into the man, his gun sliding across the floor. Alex pounced on it, his hand wrapping around her waist, and pulling her to him. Before the other men in the room could react.  
  
It had taken moments, and Julia prayed that the old woman was right that her rash moves had saved them all. Surely the others had scattered by now, but even if not Alex was safe. She could not believe it had worked. However, she thought to herself, it was not over yet.  
  
"Make one move an' I'll kill 'er." Alex snapped. Jack was already pushing Deirdre to the window the policemen frozen as they looked at they mayor's daughter knowing that they could be taking their careers in their hands if Julia was hurt. He was pulling her to the window, the police officers watched helplessly. In one move he ripped the bag from her hands and jumped for the window pushing her toward the policemen as he did. She heard a shot fired as she stumbled and fell. She prayed Alex had not been hit as she hit the floor turning in the air to fall on her shoulder rather than her face.  
  
"He was going to kill me!" She shrieked quaking with fear for the men that had left. Still it was fear and the officers took it for what they were meant to. She could hear the sounds of pursuit and prayed that they would survive and escape.  
  
"You're all right now lass." One told her, she could hear the sounds of pursuit and prayed that they would survive and escape. Quietly she slumped back, her eyes closing as though in a faint. 


	15. The Storm

"Wake up, lass!" the voice was insistent and Julia forced her eyes open. They felt gritty and her head pounded abominably. The kindly face of the police officer that had knelt over her when she had fallen came into focus almost too sharply. She did not remember loosing consciousness. Her last thought had been for Alex. Still, she had been lucky the vision allowed her enough time to save Alex. For the first time in her life, she was thankful she had been blessed with the gift.  
  
"The man?" she asked with true anxiousness, though not in the manner that the police officer would take it in.  
  
"He's gone, Miss Dubois." The police officer said comfortingly. "I hate to ask ya right now, but there are some questions we have ask as to how you got here."  
  
"He kidnapped me." Julia whispered letting her eyes grow wide and fearful. "I had slipped out into the gardens for a bit of fresh air before bed and I was accosted by that man."  
  
"Why?" The policeman looked skeptical, though sympathetic. Julia took it as a good sign and continued on.  
  
"For ransom I am quite positive, I didn't even have a chance to cry out. A rag of something sickly sweet was clamped over my mouth and I remember nothing after that." Julia said impatiently giving him a look as if of course he would have known that. "However, when they brought me along to keep me from escaping they realized I would be a good tool in discovering how to enter into the house. I struggled and tried to keep it from him, yet he was most persuasive."  
  
"You are quite lucky you were not killed my dear." the policeman offered comfortingly. Her eyes widened in an alarmed manner.  
  
"I prayed papa would pay the money and I would be freed." Julia replied in a haunted tone. "When I heard the noises I thought I might be able to seek sanctuary with the police."  
  
The policeman tsked and shook his head at her obviously harebrained response. He gently propelled her forward to the stately chair behind the desk. The coins she noticed were gone from the open safe; they had succeeded. She bit back a smile of victory at that revelation.  
  
In the corner sat a man watching her masterful performance with a look that told her he did not buy a moment of it. His blond hair was swept from his face, his cherubic features given a harder look by the shadows that fell across them. She gave him a smile that dared him to try to thwart her. She was the mayor's daughter, she had the upper hand, for no one in their right mind would believe her capable of such things. She may be rather outspoken and might acting most appallingly and shockingly in public at times, however, her character was beyond reproach. For in naming the mayor's daughter in something as scandalous as this she knew he would be signing his own ruin. From his look, he knew it and it infuriated him. He raised the decanter of whisky in his hand to her in a mock toast before pouring himself a glass.  
  
"I don't believe I've been formally introduced to the charming lady," he said swaggering toward her, the dimple in his cheek flashing in a sweet smile, a smile that did not reach the cold and almost inhumane eyes.  
  
"I don't believe now is the time for such an introduction sir." Julia rebuked, sniffing and turning her head from him. The pounding behind her eyes was threatening to overwhelm her and she could not afford to let this man get the better of her.  
  
"Wonderful performance dear, but Conlon's not worth it," he whispered, taking her hand as though to kiss it.  
  
"He's worth ten of you, Bull. You may have run Harlem with an iron fist, but you couldn't run Alex for anything, and that got under your skin. Still does doesn't it." Julia replied in a sneer. "For that matter, you could never run me either. Me, a mere woman. And that has bothered you from the moment you met me, hasn't it."  
  
"It had nothing to do with running you and every thing to do with having you." Bull Masterson responded coolly, almost too coolly. "It would be so entertaining to break you in, to teach you what being a woman really is."  
  
"You couldn't touch me," she snapped, her eyes flashing.  
  
"So beautiful, so cold," Bull breathed in her ear. "One day you will regret having ever heard the name Alex Conlon, I know it. Let me know when he tires of you."  
  
"If that day comes," Julia said in a tone of steel. "You'll be the last to know."  
  
"Let me know when he betrays you, because he will, and I'll be there to pick up the pieces." With that parting shot, Bull turned on his heel and left.  
  
Julia breathed a sigh of relief at his departure and steeled herself for the return of the policeman. With her head pounding as abominably as it was, Julia was not sure she was up to the rapid thinking it would require to get her out of this without being arrested.  
  
"So let's go over this again," The policeman said, sitting in a chair behind the desk and gesturing for her to sit in the chair across from him. She sighed and did as he had silently told her. This was going to be a long night. Damn Alex, damn him for walking into this trap because he had been so blinded by his territorial urges.  
  
The questions seemed to last for hours, finally there was only one thing left to do, and that was take her home. The policeman escorted her to the car and helped her inside. Her story may have been farfetched, but she had managed to stick to it. Stranger things had happened in New York. Besides, there were two very important people in her life who kept the police from doing more than question her- Mrs. Vanderbuilt-Belmont and her father, the most influential matriarch in society and the mayor of New York. The only way for them to arrest her would be if they caught her red- handed or if they had caught her in a lie. Luckily for Julia, despite the throbbing after-effects of her vision, she had been able to think clearly enough to lie, and keep her story straight.  
  
The storm had broken, the wind lashed angrily at the car windows, the rain pounding it as though to force it into submission. Lightning flashed, causing thunder to rattle the very windows of the car. Julia lay her head against the seat and looked out the window into the havoc of the night. It reflected the events of that eve perfectly.  
  
They pulled past the gate and into the place she had called home for years. She shivered looking at the glowing windows, wondering why the feeling of foreboding had begun to creep up her spine again. This night was not finished with her, fate still had her shackled and stumbling along where it tugged.  
  
The policeman opened his door, letting in a sharp blast of air before he slammed it shut and hurried around to the other side to open the door for her. She let him help her from the car, the wind grabbing her unbound hair and flinging it in grasping tentacles all about her. She struggled to tuck it behind her ears that she might be able to at least see where she walked. The policeman guided her as though helping along someone either infirm or mentally fragile. The door opened before they ever reached the handle. Duncan, the butler stood in the doorway in his proper and rigid way. He gave her a disapproving look down his nose as she passed. She lifted her head higher and continued into the foyer.  
  
Her father was just leaving his study when he glanced down the hallway to see who had entered, only to stop dead when he saw his daughter. He stopped as he took in her bedraggled and drenched appearance. His face darkened for a moment before he took on the look of shock and a worried father.  
  
Julia bit back a smile, she had come by her acting skills honestly at least. He came to a halt just near her, his face a carefully constructed mask of parental concern.  
  
"Julia?" he asked in as though in shock. "What is the meaning of this. What has happened?"  
  
"Your daughter was kidnapped Mr. Mayor," the policeman rushed to tell him.  
  
"What is all this noise?" a sleepy female voice asked. Looking to the stairs Julia saw her stepmother standing near the middle of the sweeping staircase, her hand poised on the rail, her long golden hair falling about her in soft curls.  
  
"Nothing to worry your head about, my darling," Jean-Claude told her, giving his wife a gentle look that Julia had always craved. A look she had so often wished he would direct at her. She wondered if he had ever looked at her mother that way. She supposed not, since he had left her.  
  
"Go back to bed, love," Jean-Claude said with an affection that gave Julia a deeper sense of foreboding. "You need your sleep."  
  
Giving Julia and the police officer a disgusted look, Gwendolyn turned and made her way back up the stairs. Julia's father gestured for them to follow him. Julia obeyed, the policeman just behind her.  
  
They sat side by side across the table from her father. The policeman did all the talking. Julia just watched her father, gauging his reaction. His eyes flicked to her, his mind racing. She could see a light that made her wonder if he knew the truth. For a moment she caught a tightness around his mouth that told her he did indeed. If nothing else, he was a highly intelligent man, she had not inherited it from nowhere. Her mother, God rest her soul, had not been nearly as clever as her father, though an incredibly sweet woman. Something the banshee upstairs was not unless she needed to get her way.  
  
"Well officer, my thanks to you and your fellow officers for extracting my daughter from such a frightening and potentially dangerous situation," Jean- Claude said with feeling that Julia knew he didn't feel. "I believe the Commissioner was here just this evening looking for someone to sponsor your yearly Officers' Ball. You may tell him that I would be delighted, given the following circumstances. You and your men should be commended. I don't know what I would have done if harm had come to Julia."  
  
Julia had to keep from snorting; he would have been relieved is what he would have been. Still, the wheels were being greased and the policemen would look no further into her story, her father had just assured it.  
  
"Thank you, sir," was all the policeman said. "I must be on my way then."  
  
"Do stop in the kitchen for something to take with you on your way out," Jean-Claude offered gracefully. "The butler will show you the way."  
  
The policeman nodded before turning and leaving. Julia fought the urge to ask him to take her with him. A firing squad seemed preferable to dealing with her father right at this moment.  
  
The butler shut the door behind the retreating figure of the policeman and Julia was left alone to the fury of her father. She leaned back with a look of bored indifference as silence filled the room making her even more uncomfortable. Her father studied her as she looked pointedly at her nails.  
  
"I found it odd, Julia, that every time you were not feeling up to going out, or excused yourself for feeling ill, that someone else had been robbed. Still, I thought nothing of it, nothing until this night," Jean- Claude said slowly. Julia's eye snapped to his, telling him she was wary of his words.  
  
"Did you father?" Julia asked mildly, waiting to see what he would say next.  
  
"Damn you, Julia, damn you," he hissed, his fury coming swiftly and surely. "What kind of game do you think you were playing at. Stealing from people I call friends, I thought you had become smarter than that. I thought picking people's pockets, if nothing else, had been put in the past. Still I regret the day you put your grubby little hand into mine and I caught you. I wish your existence had never been brought to my attention. I have tried to give you everything, and you defy me at every turn, thumb your nose at me when you can. What am I to do with you? I can only thank God that you will be married soon."  
  
"What does it matter to you what I do father?" Julia snapped. "You have regretted even knowing about me since the day you took me in, but you would not leave me with people who care and love me."  
  
"Care and love you?" Jean-Claude asked incredulously. "A whore and a gutter rat, excuse me for trying to give you something better. You speak of love, yet you have never given me leave to love you. You have hated me from the day I took you away from following in their footsteps. From keeping my daughter from becoming a whore like the woman who was raising her."  
  
"Take that back," Julia cried standing and slamming her hand down on her father's desk in unchecked fury. "Take it back right now. Just because she was of a lower class than you does not make her a whore."  
  
"On the contrary my dear. Katherine Colon, A.K.A Kat the Green-eyed Lover, was nothing more than a highly paid whore. Their family came from a small ring of Irish criminals that banded together calling themselves the wolves. Her father was a thief, as was her mother. When they died leaving her with her young brother and you to raise, she turned to her father's associates and sold her self to put food on the table. From there she rose, sleeping her way up to power, finally stopping only a few years after you left and marrying Nicholas Giovani, a man who turned his Mafia dealings into a sizable fortune. Commendable reasons surely, but I wasn't about to let you figure it out and follow her lead. I must admit though, her brother seems to have risen from the ashes to become quite the business man, but if you think I'm going to let you marry Alexander Conlon, former pickpocket and thief, then you are mad. With his close associations with Giovani, I wouldn't doubt that Conlon is nothing more than a criminal himself."  
  
"I'm not sure you would have the choice, father," Julia said softly, reeling from the information that her father had thrown at her. Things began to fall into place and she knew her father was not lying. She shook her head, trying not to judge me, trying to be grateful for the sacrifice that I had made to ensure that she ate. It was difficult with all the strict morals of our time, but she had swallowed worse.  
  
"I do have a choice as your father," Jean-Claude said leaning back in his chair, his hand steepled as he waited for effect before dropping a cannon ball on her. "I have already chosen for you. Your engagement to Julius Winthrop will be announced in two days."  
  
"You can't do that," Julia whispered as the effects of her father's words hit her. "I won't marry him, I won't."  
  
"I know you can be stupid sometimes Julia, but I never took you for a fool," Jean-Claude replied calmly. "Then again, you are your mother's daughter. Beauty enough to conquer any man you wish and not the wit to use it in a productive manner."  
  
"You may not speak of my mother," Julia said sharply. "You left her to die in the streets because you wanted to come back into the family fold. Because poverty was more than you could bear."  
  
"I did no such thing, Julia," her father responded angrily "Quite on the contrary, your mother left me because she could not live with my money or the responsibility that came with it. She could not fathom the parties and refused to learn the manners. Instead, she left and raised her daughter in poverty, dying in the mill rather than learning to be one of the elite."  
  
"I hate this life as much as she did," Julia said in a deadly cold voice. "I cannot fault her for her choices. She is dead and cannot defend herself right now."  
  
"Yes, she is," Julia's father growled. "Dead, and my daughter hates me now because she didn't have the decency to give her daughter all the advantages she could. Because she was selfish. You will not follow in her path. You will marry the man I chose or suffer having gone too far. I have endured the humiliation of your exploits and will tolerate them no longer. You are no longer my only heir, Julia, Gwendolyn has finally conceived. You no longer have any cards to play, and I will be damned before I let this child grow up with you as an example. If you choose to defy me tonight I will have no recourse other than to disown you."  
  
"I cannot marry that puppy," Julia told him firmly. "I will leave this night."  
  
"You have until the bans are read for your engagement to come back." Jean- Claude sighed giving her a look of regret. "After that, you will be dead to me. You can never come back and I would suggest you leave town Julia. You are not the only one with criminal connections. It would be so easy to tell everyone you have been imprisoned in the country house following your mental deterioration. Your visions finally took your mind."  
  
Julia shivered as she stood. Alex would protect her though, and her father could never touch her. She turned and walked from the room, her back held ramrod straight as she walked the stairs to her room for the final time.  
  
"Julia, feel free to take your clothing, I doubt we will have any need for it anymore," her father called after her. She chose not to answer as she opened the door to her room.  
  
"Shall I get you a cup of tea, m'um?" Ally asked, turning from where she was taking the dress for the next day from the closet to press.  
  
"No Ally, we will be leaving this night," Julia told her tonelessly. "I will anyway. What you choose to do is your own affair. You may remain in my father's employ or you may come with me."  
  
"I'll take my chances with you, m'um," Ally responded swiftly, as she took Julia's trunk from the dressing room and together they packed her clothing. She took with her the jewels her father had given her, figuring to sell them if she had to flee the city with Alex. Finally, with her bags packed and her dress changed, Ally helped her into her coat. Ally took her valise and called for one of the men of the household to carry Julia's trunk.  
  
"Miss Julia, your father's car waits to take you where you choose for the night," Duncan told her still looking down his nose at her while his words sounded respectful.  
  
"Thank you Duncan," Julia said, her voice clipped as she stepped through the door to where the car waited, purring in the drive to take her where she choose. There was only one place to go. That was to Alex. She looked back one last time at the house she had had no choice but to call home. She felt a weight rise off her shoulders as she turned back, squared her shoulders, and stepped into the waiting car, Ally walking around the car to her seat beside the driver. She never looked back as the car turned and made its way to the deserted street.  
  
Erinkathleen: yay, you reviewed! Thank you, I like their connection too. It can be so fun to write. Thanks again  
  
JP: I'm back, I'm back I can't wait for more on your story. I missed you too honey, but now with the Internet on my new computer I can both talk to you and update. YAY! This update didn't take as long as the last, but still I'll try to update more often. Hope to talk to you soon!  
  
Dreamer: Wow! Three exclamation points in one swoop! I'm loved! I'm back, I'm back.. Oh and as for Alex it says that only his eyes are visible, at least it does at one part I hope I remembered to change the other. See what I get for not having this edited first? Faire stared hmm? Three weeks until ours opens out here and counting. Jack and De have their own story and I want to write it without too many tie ups from this story. I'm having that problem with Stepping through the shadows. If you have a moment, my own story could use someone to brainstorm with. My ideas for the story just don't fit and the muses won't concentrate. Feel up to getting their butts in gear with me? I got the Internet on my home computer so I will be on a lot more. Hope to talk to you soon. Thank you!  
  
Rumor: I know I've been gone too long, I keep trying to write, but with the faire season coming up I've had costumes, to make, to mend, and to refit. Not to mention our kick off faire only a few weeks ago took a lot out of me. I spent most of it in the camper sick, nasty cold that drained into my stomach. I'll leave it there I'm sure you get the idea. Trying to update can be difficult. Plus the muses are out of shape and hating me right now for pushing them. Hope you enjoyed this last chapter. I'll try to update more. Thanks Honey glad you are enjoying this.  
  
Rae Kelly: Thanks you too!  
  
weaselgirl: (does new reviewer dance) at least I think you're a new reviewer, I don't remember you reviewing any of my stuff previously. Thank you, I'm glad you are enjoying it and hope that you continue to do so. I updated as soon as I could, updates to follow hopefully sooner.  
  
Hotshot: Well considering she's the mayor's daughter there's not much they really would have done as previously explained. Yeah evil David, we'll see how much more damage he is going to inflict. Thank you I hope you keep enjoying.  
  
Kathryn Mason Sykes: Well David isn't on the tops of anyone's list right now for anything more than a firing squad. I'm glad I surprised you. Yes I have a new computer, one I just put the internet on so hopefully I'll be able to update more. Thank you for editing this. Talk to you soon hopefully!  
  
Tiger: (Does new reviewer dance since she hasn't written any S.O's since you started reviewing) Thank you, I hope you keep liking it.  
  
Sparker: Yeah he's pretty hot, my muses are melting when they write him so I'm having to invest in lots of ice. I'm glad you found Julia's move clever. Thank you!  
  
Zee: (Does yet another new reviewer dance):Well I told you how she covered it up. The police accepted it, but her father is pretty smart himself. Oops, oh well. Hope you liked this chapter and that you continue to like the story. 


	16. Beyond Control

I want to thank everyone that offered congrats on my engagement. It was so exciting! Still a little caught up in it. Who knew that getting engaged would be so complicated. Sorry it took so long to update this story. As with my other newly updated story, sorry this one is still a little in the rough. Didn't get it edited first. (Sorry Kathryn Mason-Sykes. I send you the next one.) Love you all and thank you again for your support!  
  
The rain lightened , no longer did it seek retribution for the wrongs committed in the world, instead it pattered on the windows of the car with a softness that was almost relaxing. The thunder had ebbed to a distant protesting. Julia leaned her throbbing head against the cushion of the seat, her head all that she could focus on. All that she was willing to focus on, it had been a trying day. She closed her eyes and allowed the movements of the car lull her. It seemed mere moments before Ally was shaking her awake.  
  
"Miss Julia mum," Ally said insistently, but softly. She was well accustomed to her mistress's moods and knew when one of her headaches had struck. She also knew Julia's temper when the headaches were at their worst tended to be rather quick to spark.  
  
Julia's eyes flew open and she nodded massaging her temple. She allowed the driver to help her from the car. The lights in the library were on and she smiled softly to herself, trying to quell the growing feeling of apprehension. She had defied her father with next to no hopes of going back. She wasn't sure she could grovel for a chance to return to hell. Even with the opening her father had left her she wasn't sure she could swallow her pride enough to go home. She prayed she had made the right choice.  
  
Had someone asked her before this night if she could turn to Alex, she would have not hesitated in her reply. She had whole heartedly given him her trust, with few questions asked. If he ripped her heart out for a second time she knew she might never recover. She took a deep breath and stepped away from the car. She had made her bed now it was time to lay in it.  
  
"Wait for the butler to come down and unload the car." Julia advised the chauffeur before making her way to the set of stairs to Alex's home, the place she hoped would soon be her home as well. Jameson, Alex's butler opened the door before she reached it, the smile on his face genuine.  
  
"Good evening, Miss Julia." he told her taking her gloves and her coat, looking curiously at Ally who had followed her mistress inside.  
  
"I have had a change of fortunes." Julia announced, trying to keep the nervousness from her voice. " My luggage is in the car......................."  
  
" I'll have it brought in right away Miss Julia." Jameson said swiftly. " Master Alex is in the library."  
  
Julia smiled brittley, turning to the doors to her left she stared at their paneled mahogany for a moment. The doors were so dark, making them seem so imposing. She paused, it was one of those deciding moments in your life. Moments that you pause and know that if you make this choice it will forever change your life. It was one of those moments where you have two paths, the safe path and the difficult path. The path of change or the path of continued complacency. It is never an easy choice to make, often we turn from the path of change too unsure of the other to risk it. Which path to take, never one to back away from challenge she took a fortifying breath and opened the door.  
  
Alex paced inside his library, the storm had come and gone leaving with it the distinct smell of it's cleansing of the earth. The windows were thrown open, but he was not even conscious of the tang in the air, or the cool breeze that swept through the room and sent papers swirling to the floor. His shoulder stung mercilessly where the bullet had grazed it leaving a nasty gash in its place. The skin had been ripped away with a force that he had hardly noticed. His adrenaline had been pumping too much. Now as it ebbed from him the pain of the wound made him hiss in pain. He shrugged it off, he did not have time for pain. He had felt worse and continued on often as leader of the Brooklyn newsies. He had been forced many times to ignore it and concentrate on what was happening. That is what had set him apart, one of the many things that had earned him respect and reverence.  
  
He would give her merely minutes more before he took to the streets to find what had become of Julia. He had hated leaving her there, had fought the instincts that wanted him to stay and make sure she was out of harms way. Still he knew her father would keep her from any legal pursuit. The mayor would not have his name tarnished if he could help it. He prayed that she had been clever enough to ply them with a believable story. He did not hear the door to the library open, did not feel the breeze caused by the open door leading to the hallway where his front door was open. He did not hear Jameson issuing orders, rather it was the soft smell of roses and a scent that was wholly Julia that made him turn.  
  
He whirled desperately hoping it was indeed she, rather than imaginings and wishful thinking. She gasped her eyes straying to the spot on his shirt, where blood had seeped into the fabric, gluing the shirt to his wound where it had clotted. He had not realized that it had bled so much, that the whole left arm of his shirt was stiff with his blood.  
  
"Alex." she whispered fearfully. " Are you all right? You must see a doctor, Jameson, Jameson."  
  
Her voice sounded panicked as she whirled to the door looking expectantly for the butler that she sought.  
  
"Leave it Julia." he said in a cold voice. " I have suffered worse wounds that this."  
  
"But you must see a doctor." Julia told him stubbornly.  
  
"I said leave it." Alex growled slamming the library door shut before advancing on her. "What the hell were you thinking Julia, you could have gotten yourself killed, or hauled off to jail. Had you not died, I am sure you would have wished you had, had they caught you. I am assuming that since you are not languishing away in a cell downtown you managed to lie your way free. Either that or Daddy smoothed things over for you."  
  
" I didn't see you objecting as you threw yourself to that window." Julia snapped. " For that matter I didn't exactly see you even looking back as you jumped to your own safety and left me to deal with your mess. I told you we should wait. I told you we should give the job up and take the next, but your pride came before our safety and well being. I thought you a better leader than that Alex. I thought your worry for your people could over rule your pride. I was very wrong."  
  
"What do you know of it princess?" Alex hissed. " What do you know of the fine line I walk, a line between strength and weakness. If I fail Julia, the wolves rip me to pieces. If I do not remain strong I loose everything."  
  
"What angers you Alex?" Julia asked " that it was a woman that had to save you, that had I enough brains to find a way free? I thank God that what ever guided me to take that dress with me, was guiding me otherwise, I would not be the only one in jail right now Alex. You and the rest of the wolves would be there as well."  
  
"Sir where would you like me to put Miss Julia's things?" Jameson asked, appearing in the door like a magic genie. A moments reprieve from Alex's wrath, though she was not sure it was a reprieve she wanted.  
  
"What do you mean Miss Julia's things?" Alex blinked, his anger momentarily replaced by confusion.  
  
" My father is on to us." Julia said unable to hide the fear in her voice and hating herself for it. It was the moment of truth, how would he react? " He put two and two together, I do not claim that he is anything less than a very sharp man. He does not know who has helped me, he only knows that I was a part of the heists. He had given me an ultimatum, give you up and marry another. Or be disowned, I chose you."  
  
Alex stood stock still, his face emotionless and betraying nothing. Her heart contracted painfully in her chest, as he did not react. Time froze as tears gathered in her eyes and Jameson waited patiently for his employer's orders.  
  
Alex looked to the window, his eyes on the lifeless street beyond, where only the sounds of a running car reached his ears. It had to be Julia's father's, waiting to see if it needed to take her elsewhere. Julia bit her lip, but said nothing, her eyes sliding to the fire as though afraid of his response.  
  
For him too it was a crossroads, a choice in life. If he let her go at this moment she might conceivably go home, he might convince her that life with him was not what she wanted. He sighed, like hell, she knew as he did, that it was all she had ever wanted. She would follow him to the ends of the earth and that frightened him as it had never before. Tonight the stakes of his enterprise had never been driven home so completely. She could have been killed, she could have been found out. They all could have. She had been right, he had put them all in danger for his foolish pride, because David had been questioning his authority. Would it stop there? Would she be safe with him? Could he protect her from the life he led? The life that had been a game to her, a life she had never had to truly take seriously before.  
  
He closed his eyes, her scent still in his nose, the taste of her on his lips, the feel of her in his arms. He couldn't let her go, he couldn't. Their love was one that bordered on obsession, it was a choice he had no right to make, for the only one he wanted to make was to make her his. It was his weakness that he did not send her home, that he accepted her choice, condemning her to a life of danger, instead of the steady life that she truly deserved. He needed her though, he could not deny it. She was in his very blood and he could not make himself make the choice he knew he should have. The moment he had returned home he had to fight not to fly back to where he had just fled. He had vowed never to let Julia come that close to danger again. It was no longer a game, it had taken on a reality tonight it never had before.  
  
Then he had never had to leave the woman he loved in the hands of strangers, that he was not sure would take her to safety or place her in harms way. Still when it came to it he could not let her go.  
  
"Put her things in the spare room." Alex said just before Julia could take it no longer and had already started to turn. Her back was to him, but he could see her shoulders sag in relief. He felt the walls closing in, fate was pulling at them again, and he wasn't sure he liked being pushed like this.  
  
"I am going to bed." he said feeling the exhaustion of the night finally seeping into his system. " I suggest you do the same. I'll have Jameson send some laudanum up with your maid. I am sure you will need it to sleep, there is a headache I know you are trying to ignore."  
  
Julia just nodded as he slipped past her, his anger still boiling near the surface. She knew it was as much anger at himself as at her. There was something bothering him, something he did not want to talk about. She couldn't place it, but it had been bothering him all night, something that had severed the bonds between them if only for a moment. Something that was causing her to doubt him, doubt his promises. She tried to brush it, off, tried to chalk it up to her misgivings due to his previous defection. He loved her, she told herself as Ally appeared in the library, just following Alex's departure. She allowed herself to be pulled upstairs and into the room that had been designated as hers.  
  
It was a beautiful masterpiece of cream and gold, more feminine than masculine, a distinct difference between every other room in the house. The other rooms had been decorated in strong rich colors, manly in every aspect, this room was too dreamy and soft. The delicate settee did not suite his rather tall frame, as did the elegantly carved dressing table with her toilette accessories already set out seemed too dainty.  
  
Steam wafted from the bathroom where Ally had prepared a bath for her in the gleaming porcelain tub. Her mind turned somersaults as she looked at the hot water smelling distinctly of rose oil. She shook her head not sure why this only gave her a stronger feeling of doubt. She would think of it on the morning, now it was only sure to continue to make her head ache.  
  
Finally bathed and dressed in the nightgown Ally had left for her on the turned down bed. She took the dose of laudanum Ally had left on the dressing table before sitting down not bothering to tie her wrapper. She would only take it off in a few moments. It was from drilled propriety that she had slipped it on anyhow.  
  
Looking in the mirror before her, she studied herself, her long dark hair lay in wet waves upon her shoulders, falling down her back, past her waist. Her skin was not the creamy soft color that her stepmother's had been, though fair from avoidance of sun it still held a touch of gold that could not be lightened. Her eyes were tilted and cat like, a rich emerald color that had been her mothers as well. Though her lashes were dark and thick, they were not as long as her stepmother's had been. Her lips were not as full as she might have liked, the top one rather thin, the bottom somewhat full. A dimple showed closer to her chin than her right cheek. Beauty was gold hair and creamy skin, it was blue eyes and rosy cheeks. It was ethereal and sweet, not bold and rich. That is what fashion dictated, she felt the tears well up as she looked at herself critically.  
  
Hers was a face she had often hated, wishing for the golden beauty of her stepmother. That perhaps then she would be beautiful enough for her father to love. Dashing away the tears from her eyes, Julia picked up the silver backed comb laying before her and began to gently work the tangles from her hair.  
  
That was how Alex found her, her head bent in the flickering glow of the fire. All other lights had been extinguished in hopes to help mellow the headache he knew was bothering her. He could see a line between her eyes that only appeared when the headaches came. He gently massaged his shoulder trying to keep the joint from becoming stiff.  
  
Her head was bent to the task of removing the tangles from her long hair, the light from the fire making her skin glow golden. Her black lashes falling against her cheeks in sharp contrast. Her features were delicately carved, her cheekbones high, her mouth a cupid's bow, her teeth flashing white in her skin that was not light enough to be completely fashionable. It glowed with a health that he had found missing from the other women in Julia's circle. She often thumbed her nose at society and he was glad she had not chosen to take arsenic as so many did to lighten her skin more than it could be naturally. Her beauty was not angelic, not classical. Rather it was rich, and darkly sensual. Her voice was rich and seductive, her gypsy blood shown through. She was mysterious, intoxicating, no matter what anyone else thought, he found her the most beautiful creature in the world.  
  
Her eyes met his in the looking glass causing her to look at him in surprise. He took that back, she could look very angelic and sweet on occasion. Her filmy wrapper had been left open rather than tied around the soft fabric that fell in graceful folds, accentuating her rather voluptuous figure. A figure he found he liked much better without the fetters of the corset that hid her curves cinching her waist inches smaller than it actually was, forcing her shapely hips to seem flatter.  
  
He closed his eyes, how he wanted her. How he needed her, the whisky he had drunk was flowing through his veins with a speed that made him feel lightheaded.  
  
"Alex?" she asked softly, her eyes dreamy from laudanum he was sure.  
  
"Goodnight Julia." he replied stiffly, reminding himself that she was not one of the women who had previously occupied this room. She was more than that.  
  
"No goodnight kiss?" she teased, bringing to mind the old days when he had tucked her into bed and kissed her goodnight before heading across the room to his own bed. From there bringing to mind one night only a few years ago, when he had nearly lost his iron control to one kiss with her.  
  
"You don't want me to kiss you right now princess." he told her sharply.  
  
"Don't I?" she asked surprising herself with the question. The laudanum was affecting her, making her say things that normally she might not have.  
  
"Didn't your father teach you not to toy with a man Julia?" Alex's voice was dangerous as he moved closer to her.  
  
"On the contrary, he taught me to toy with men in any way I could to bring him more money." Julia responded standing and stepping toward him.  
  
He watched her walk to him unable to turn away. She smiled the age-old smile of a woman that knows she is in control. Softly she placed a kiss upon his lips. A chaste kiss, a sweet kiss that had nothing to do with passion, but inflamed him none the less. He could not stop himself from pulling her close, he could not keep himself from kissing her back. He knew he should not do this, a voice in the back of his head warned him not to, but he was lost in feelings and sensations he had never felt with anyone but Julia.  
  
As for Julia, she was lost in sensations that she had never felt before period. She was lost the euphoria of Alex's creation. She could taste the whisky on his breath and felt the world spinning though whether it was because of the laudanum or Alex's kisses, she did not know. She did not protest as pushed her wrapper from her shoulders, have the heart as his lips traveled down her neck.  
  
Both had waited for this moment for too long, both had wanted this for years. Neither could stop, neither had the will. Their love was as like spider's silk , so incredibly strong as it wove it's way around them, and yet it could become so incredibly deadly.  
  
Ice Renegade: Actually I think it's Dream to Dream I'm making you appear in. Don't suppose you can resend me your info could you? I can't find any of my info at all! Thank you, I'm so glad you liked this last chapter. Hope you enjoy this one too!  
  
Falco: How I have missed your waffles, no one makes them like you! My muses are starving for more. Don't frighten Spot too badly, I need him to remain true to his form. Thanks!  
  
Spatz: Thank you! I am so glad that you have liked my story!  
  
Sparker: The pain? Hmmmm, well she's just leaving her father for now. More a relief I would think than real pain at this point. I updated as soon as I could thanks!  
  
Weasel Girl: Happy you liked it! Really thanks for reading  
  
Rumor: Hey why is it you always pick up my references even when I'm trying not to really reference too strongly? Guess you're just that quick. Hey I'm hoping for another long review!  
  
Zee: ( looks sheepish) Sorry, it's been far too long between chapters for me to keep track of everything. I really try and when I used to update practically daily, I was much more up on who was who. So please accept my apologies. (does continuous reviewer dance) Thanks for the compliments!  
  
Scrapper: New reviewer?............................. Thanks so glad you have enjoyed thus far, I hope I don't disappoint in the coming chapters!  
  
Dreamer: I think you were the only one that caught that moment of confused, but paternal love. Still she had to leave that was all there was to it. Her father was going to get in the way too much. He still might of course who knows which way the muses will go. Not so sure I like having a bodice tan, but I get them anyway, really it's the only tan I get anymore. I am really hoping I won't have to keep the next chapter for ransom against a new chapter from you! Talk to you soon!  
  
Treble: (does new reviewer dance) Wow what a compliment, thank you. I can wax a little on the poetic side, but still I am glad you are enjoying this. Sorry you've been waiting so long for an update. Thank you again!  
  
Pricilla: It's been so long since I've updated, I guess I can't be upset you took a while to review. Actually I guess I should feel downright grateful you are still reading. Thanks for reviewing honey!  
  
J.P. : Thank you! It was a little stealthy the last time wasn't it. I hope this one isn't too much of a surprise. Thanks for the little talk about Bryan's problem. No real change, but we still have hope. Love you!  
  
Rae Kelly: All right, all right already, I updated! He he!  
  
Raider: So happy you liked the last chapter. I'm not too sure about Julia getting kicked out, as of right now her chances seem pretty good, we'll see what the muses have to say in the next chapter. Oh and yes Spot is drop dead sexy!  
  
Tiger: Honey you aren't supposed to like the father and the stepmom, it would be too hard to part Julia from them otherwise. Glad you enjoyed the last chapter though! Thanks  
  
Kellyanne: Really? You like it? Wha hooo! Thanks! Hope you still enjoy it . ( does infamous new reviewer dance) 


	17. Troubled Decisions

Sunlight trickled through the soft lace curtains, casting a golden glow that was only enhanced by the colors that surrounded them. Alex slitted one eye open as the room warmed in the richness of the sun and forced him to awaken, though he much rather would have retreated back to the darkness of night. It was not dreams he wished for, rather the remembrance of a dream come true. Images flashed in his mind, images of soft skin golden in the light of the fire, and a spill of mahogany curls that seemed to turn to a rich merlot as if reflecting the red of the flames in its dark depths. His heart beat with a feeling that was both painful and joyful. Such a feeling he had never experienced before. Such love he had never known. Not even I had held such a wealth of emotion in his heart, and I was his sister. He lay back just looking at the slumbering Julia, a curl fell across her face, a face as innocent in sleep as she had been as a small child. The idea of waking every morning beside her made a warm feeling of joy settle in his chest. He knew in his heart what he had refused for so long to let himself see. Though he had fought it long and hard he found that surrender could be the sweetest feeling. A soft tap came at the door before it opened and admitted his butler.  
  
"Master Alex, David is in the library." Jameson whispered heedful of the sleeping Julia, though never actually acknowledging her presence. He groaned and turned his head into the pillow, the last thing he needed was to deal with David's holier-than-thou attitude. Knowing the blasted man would never go if he did not at least make an appearance. He slid from beneath the covers and padded to the door that separated the two rooms. He gave Julia one last wistful look wishing for nothing more than to lie next to her until she awoke.  
  
Quickly he dressed for the day, knowing that the longer he kept David, the more likely he would let himself upstairs. He knew that before long news of Julia's defection from her father would be all over the city. Such gossip would start among the servants and quickly spread to their employers. All the Wolves kept their ears to the ground and knew most of the gossip before it truly even had a chance to spread. For some reason, the idea of David knowing about Julia's new position made him a touch nervous. There was something dark that moved in David's eyes when he looked at Julia, something that made him want to hit the man. He knew that if David found a way to get rid of her he would. It was a good thing that David didn't have the guts to kill her. His pondering stopped as he opened the door to his library. David stood with his back to Alex, the light of the window he looked through haloing him with golden light. His hands were clasped behind him in a rigid stance. Alex took a deep breath, David was defiantly going to be difficult.  
  
"You nearly killed us." David exploded, not even bothering with a greeting.  
  
"Good morning, David." Alex said calmly as though David had actually bothered with such pleasantries.  
  
"You felt the need to show that girl you could handle anything and you nearly got us killed." David continued ranting.  
  
"No, it's too bad you didn't grow up your entire life on the streets Davey boy. If I had given Bull Masterson one inch he would have taken it as a sign of weakness and killed us one by one. As it was, I saved us David. I saved your life and those of all the Wolves." Alex hissed, his temper flaring despite his effort to control it. "I made a stand for our power where you would have tucked your tail and fled. That's why I am leader, boy."  
  
"Julia has to go Alex." David growled. "She can't stay in the group, she's too much of a liability."  
  
"Is that so?" Alex returned, "I believe that liability saved your life last night."  
  
"There's something odd about her and I have a feeling it's not something right."  
  
"Something right?" Alex's voice went deadly, all the whispers of the well to do seemed to have reached David's ears, someone must have told him about Julia's gift. "No, she has a gift, a gift that saved our lives, she sees things we can't see, and because of that she can predict things in a fashion that could be an asset to us. Don't you see, we can use her gift to see if a job is worth taking? With every job we stand closer to getting caught, with her we can know if that time is coming."  
  
"So you're just using her?" David said calming considerably.  
  
"She's a friend, she has been since we were children." Alex sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose to stop the headache that was starting to form. "I have no need to use what friends offer freely."  
  
"She's trouble." David replied.  
  
"We're all trouble." Alex told him smiling thinly. "I am sorry, but unless you have more important things to discuss, I have things to do."  
  
"Is this pressing enough for you Alex?" David said smoothly as he placed a thin sheet of paper in front of Alex. "Marcus does the odd job on the side as you well know. You've used his services for free since he's a Wolf. She's as good as dead, Alex."  
  
"What are the terms?" Alex whispered his heart in his throat, if a hit had come into Marcus it was likely that it could go to others. The mayor was a cautious man, and a smart one. He knew of Marcus's connection to Alex, he also knew that Alex would find out that he had ordered a hit on Julia.  
  
"She is to leave the city, completely disappearing or return back to the family fold and marry the budding politician that he had picked out for her. I believe you know him a Julius Winthrop. However, if she disappears with you, then both of you are to be killed." David smiled smugly as he spoke enjoying for once to have caught the infallible Conlon off guard. "Marcus has two weeks; the bans for the engagement will be posted. She has until then before she is required to leave. He'd rather have her dead than suffer the humiliation. It's to look like an accident so that suitable excuses can be made."  
  
"I see," was all he said as he leaned back in his chair his fingers steepled his face expressionless. "Who else has gotten the hits?"  
  
"Butch Carmondy and Bull Masterson." David responded, relishing the last name that rolled off his tongue. There was fire in Alex's eyes at the mention of his nemesis's name.  
  
"I thought Bull had left that behind, he was solely looking at robbery." Alex said carefully.  
  
"I think from what I've heard, for prior and personal reasons, he'll take the job if Marcus doesn't." David told him matter of factly. "You have to send her home Alex, I know she's here. You have to send her home and never look back. You should have never gotten mixed up with her to begin with; she's a time bomb waiting to go off."  
  
"I'll take care of it." Alex said in that emotionless tone that frightened David near to death at times.  
  
"Alex............." David began.  
  
"I said, I'd take care of it." Alex snapped cutting him off. "Now get out."  
  
"You better take care of it Alex." David threw as a parting shot before slamming the library door behind him.  
  
Alex shook with anger, but reigned himself in. This was not time to attack the little bastard, no matter how much he deserved. He heard Julia's voice at the top of the stairs and closed his eyes. How was he going to send her away? For the second time in his life his very heart was going to be ripped from his chest to go with a woman who would never understand that it still was within her hands. For the first time in years tears threatened to burn in his eyes, but he forced them as he heard Julia's footsteps nearing. She pushed the door to the library open and drifted in her lace wrapper catching in a beam of sunlight making the cream of it and her nightgown glow. For a moment she almost appeared to be an angel as the glow from her dress reflected in her face. His heart stopped, the idea of her becoming an angel, for it was too close to possible.  
  
"Alex." she breathed the words to him in joy and he couldn't do it, he just couldn't allow himself to hurt her like that. They would find a way to get through it. If he had to leave the country, he would. He knew in his heart though the mayor had chosen well, for while Marcus could quite possibly be persuaded away from the hit, purely for his previous connection with Julia, the others would, and very well could hunt her for the rest of her life. If he disappeared with her, there was no way he was going to keep them alive. If he sent her home, there was no doubt.  
  
Looking into her eyes, he decided to give himself one more day. Tomorrow would be close enough to ruin his life for her.  
  
"Alex?" Julia questioned, seeing a pained look on his face. For a moment, her heart rose to her throat and her cheeks bloomed with color. Last night would probably not have happened had she not taken the laudanum and she hoped she would never regret it. She would have given Alex anything if he had wanted it, he knew it, and she hoped the old Spot Conlon wasn't lurking in there. The boy who loved indiscriminately and hurt many, she still hadn't forgotten his past. She breathed a sigh of relief as he smiled warmly at her.  
  
"Good morning Jul." He said, his tone matching his smile. "How are you feeling? Would you like me to have Ally draw you a bath?"  
  
"No thank you." Julia returned his smile, it was all right, the fears that had assailed her when she had opened her eyes this morning were merely creations of her own paranoia. "I saw David leaving and he did not look very happy, have you quarreled with him again?"  
  
"David and I are always quarrelling." Alex replied with a sigh, "It comes with the territory of a man who wants to be leader, but does not know how to be. He's brilliant, really he is, and if we were talking about a corporation I have no doubts he would excel and surpass me. Still he did not spend his life on the streets and Jack and I have. He does not understand the mentality that one must have in order to survive. He was rather sheltered when Jack brought him in, sheltered and naive. His father had been a very upstanding and honorable man. I can even remember Jack telling me when he was teaching David and his younger brother to sell papers, David balked at lying. It wasn't until after his family's deaths that Jack even told him about the Wolves."  
  
"His family's death?" Julia asked in surprise. "I was unaware that he had been orphaned."  
  
"It was a horrible business; David was going to college and returned home for the holiday season. We were so jealous of his opportunity to make something of himself honestly. He came home and they were all dead, murdered, it made all the papers." Alex's voice held a note of sympathy. "Jack brought up the Wolves to his grieving friend and brought him into the fold with us. I think he thought if he embraced a life of crime, he might find the man who murdered his family. He might come closer to understanding how such a man thinks."  
  
"That's terribly sad." Julia whispered, her face showing a combination of sorrow and thoughtfulness. Alex shook his head, if she only knew how David felt, if she had only seen the hatred in his eyes when he looked at her.  
  
"Yes it is." Was all Alex replied. "Well, enough of the sad business, Jameson will have breakfast ready by now, I have no doubts. Shall we?"  
  
"Yes." Julia, her smile radiant, her mind full of dreams for their future, but dreaming before the results are sure has a tendency to leave one entirely disillusioned. A disillusionment that was going to leave her devastated, far more devastated than she had been as a child. For disillusionment and devastation are much easier to bounce back from when you have the resiliency of childhood to save you.  
  
The day flew by, the night coming only too quickly for Alex, he knew that he would have to let her go, that there was no choice, and he had made his mind up to deal with it in the morning. To let their relationship continue for the full two weeks she had left would be cruel.  
  
He took her to tavern they had frequented as children, a tavern that he had taught her to dance in. He was still recognized and welcomed by all the clientele. The proprietress, Bess, still patted his cheek and told him how much he had grown. Though their clothes did not fit in, they laughed, and drank, and danced like everyone else. Julia passed from older men of her youth that had given her sweets and kissed her rumpled curls. Still she always returned to Alex, the love in her eyes making even Bess smile and sigh wistfully as she placed a hand on her husband's shoulder.  
  
"Do you remember when we were that young and in love?" She said softly. Alex smiled at her as he caught her words, spinning Julia out leaving her dizzy from dancing and the ale they had consumed. He pushed thoughts of the morning away, thinking only of tonight and what they might have had.  
  
When they left, catching a cab laughing as they tumbled into it drunk on love and home brewed liquor, life seemed as though it couldn't get any better. When the next morning dawned it was bright and beautiful, Alex couldn't do what he knew needed to be done. As the days passed, he became more and more withdrawn, until finally at last Julia began to feel his distress. When she attempted to broach the subject with him he became angry, finally she let it go and watched.  
  
For four days, David watched Alex waiting for him to not make the move that was needed. If he couldn't do it, David was going to take it as a sign of weakness and that it was time to move on to a new leader. Alex's reign on New York would finally come to an end. David had never really liked the arrogant man, not since their first meeting when David had been nearly stammering and shaking as he explained the need for Alex in the Newsie Strike.  
  
On the fourth day, Alex hosted a small private party at his home inviting the Wolves, my husband and of course myself. The city was abuzz about the rumors of Julia, for no one was quite sure what had happened. Most knew by now though she was not living in her parent's home. Most assumed that it was the country house in upstate New York she had taken refuge in. Her father had been most cunning in starting his own rumors before the servants could spread more damaging ones. Alex's servants thankfully were discreet, otherwise Julia might have ended up murdered for the humiliation that would surely come from her living with an unwed man unchaperoned. The Winthrops would have never stood for their pride and joy marrying such a woman.  
  
Julia watched Alex mingle, a Champaign glass held in her hand listlessly, her eyes following him with shadows. She could sense that something was going to happen; she could feel it in Alex's reactions to her. Finally, today he had actually gotten up and left when she had entered the room, growling at her that he "just needed a minute alone and was that too much to ask."  
  
Tears sparkled for a moment before she blinked them back. I watched her in worry, wondering what Alex was doing to her for she looked so miserable. I glanced to where she was gazing only to find Alex in deep conversation with a stunning blonde. His laughter was bright, almost too bright, his eyes lingering on the woman as though trying to force himself not to look elsewhere.  
  
When he stepped out onto the balcony by himself, Julia saw her opening and took it. Quickly she set her Champaign on the small side table next to where she had stood near the wall. Gracefully and slowly, she made her way through the people to the doors that led out. I watched as she disappeared through them praying for them both. Something was very wrong; I knew it as I had watched my brother. Something that he wasn't willing to talk with me, I also knew that Julia was in the thick of it somewhere.  
  
She stepped out onto the balcony; Alex's back was to her as he leaned against the railing of the balcony. His hair tousled by the brief, but cooling wind. It struck her that he looked so alone, so lost, but she shook that thought away reminding herself of his aloofness with her.  
  
"What is it Alex, what is wrong?" Julia said softly her heart thudding in her chest at the question she wasn't sure she wanted the answer to, but knew she needed.  
  
"What do you mean?" Alex asked, turning enough to lean on one elbow as he looked at her. Her dress still spilled in a perfect circle, just as it had done that night he had seen her only months ago, except tonight the dress was a rich crimson color. It fit her beautifully, reminding him potently of the previous nights. Her skin looked like ivory in the moonlight against the richness of the dress.  
  
"Don't do that Alex." Julia cried. "Don't brush me off, I want to know, you've become increasingly distant since the night I came here. Just tell me what is wrong."  
  
"Nothing is wrong." Alex continued, he knew he was hurting her, he also knew she would form her own opinions for his behavior. For once in years he was glad for the reputation he had earned; it would help him drive her far away. He had seen her looking at him while he talked with Christine; he knew she was coming to conclusions that were not true, but better for them all.  
  
"So who is she?" Julia asked suddenly. "If you are going to replace me so suddenly you could at least let me know who she is. Is it that girl in there, the one you couldn't keep your eyes off of?"  
  
"Come on doll," Alex sighed "Don't make this any harder than this is."  
  
"Hard?" Julia cried, her heart breaking at his careless answer, shattering her hopes. "Harder? Listen to me you bastard; I gave everything up for you! Everything, do you hear me? My life, what little family I have, my position, my money, everything!"  
  
"So go back to it, by this time tomorrow you could be the glowing fiancée of Mr. Julius Winthrop Jr." Alex replied as though he were discussing the weather. "Come, Julia, go home, marry that rich young man and spend the rest of your life enjoying your wealth. We had it good for a while; I guess I just never cared as much as I thought."  
  
Tears streamed down her face despite her attempts to stop them. She felt as though the next breeze might break her. Alex watched though outwardly unaffected, inwardly his very soul was aching.  
  
He didn't see her hand come up, nor would he have stopped her from slapping him, he deserved it. Truly he did, despite all his good intentions, he was killing her inside and he knew it.  
  
"Goodbye." Julia said stiffly as she wiped the tears from her face, her face for the first time in all the time he had known her expressionless. "I want you to know Alex, you died today. I will never look back and think of you again."  
  
"Sorry." He said lamely as she whirled to go. He gave her credit; she walked through the crowded room, her head held high as though she merely meant to go to the ladies room. Only I saw through it and I was torn between following her and finding out from my brother what happened. Turning to my brother, I decided it would be best to ask him first.  
  
"What in the hell did you do to her?" I hissed as I made my way out on to the balcony. He still leaned against the railing, but this time his head was in his hands.  
  
"I let her go." He whispered, his voice hoarse. He stood and looked at me almost defiantly. "Her father would have killed her if she stayed with me, so I sent her back."  
  
"What do you mean he would have killed her?" I growled my anger slowly fading as I saw the bleak look in his eyes and rapid blinking that let me know there were tears in his eyes.  
  
"He put a hit out on her." He told me. " If she left the city with me she would be killed, other wise she had two weeks to return home and marry that puppy, or leave town all together."  
  
"So you let her go." I said softly. "Oh Alex."  
  
"Don't Kat, not now." He hissed. "I can't afford to look weak, you know it as well as I do. Just make sure she's okay."  
  
He turned to return to his guests and I felt my heart aching for the pain that the two people I loved the most must be feeling at that moment. I felt anger growing, anger and what ever it was that guided these two. What ever it was that was ripping them apart yet again. Later I would find it was only their own lack of faith in each other. For had Alex had faith they might have gotten through it, instead he took matters into his own hands.  
  
"Oh and Kat," He called from the doorway, "Promise me you won't tell her."  
  
I looked at him reluctantly and he grabbed my wrist forcefully as he used his other hand to force my chin up to look him in the eye.  
  
"Promise Kat or she's dead." He insisted his eyes boring into mine and I nodded unwillingly.  
  
I let him go, watching him pull on every ounce of acting skills he possessed, a look of careless indifference on his face. For all had heard Julia's outburst, he gave them all a charming smile and the party continued on.  
  
I swept from the room stopping to give David a frosty glare for he couldn't keep the triumphant smile from his face. He sketched me a bow and turned for more brandy. I faced the stairs, worry creasing my brow as I started up them. Worry for what Julia might do.  
  
Her tears were dry as she was packing; it was really more throwing her clothes into suitcases. Ally followed behind refolding and situating things, as they should be.  
  
"She's in a frightful tizzy." She confided in me as Julia swept her perfume bottles from the dressing table in a resounding and satisfying crash.  
  
"Jul." I said quietly hoping to at least calm her for despite her outward calm I knew she was near to breaking.  
  
"Don't you ever call me that again." She snapped as she continued on her rampage.  
  
"Alex and I have called you that for years." I said in surprise.  
  
"Don't ever say the name Alex to me either." She hissed tears coming to unwilling eyes. I watched her silently unsure of what to do, or how to comfort her. I couldn't tell her the truth, I couldn't tell her the one thing that would ease her pain. If I did Alex was right she would die, for she would never leave him. Her father had finally won, in his conditions; he had finally taken away the one thing that actually mattered to Julia.  
  
"You need not come with me Ally, I understand if you'd rather not. You may stay here and either Mr. Conlon or his sister will find suitable employment for you. I trust you will make sure it is suitable." The last was said directly to me and I wondered who had told her about my previous life. It stung as it was meant to, but I only nodded. Ally looked from me to her mistress and back again.  
  
Julia took her hesitation to mean that she did not want to go and gathered up her belongings, as Jameson, who had silently entered took what she could not carry. I watched, for the second time, someone I loved walk away from me. This time, however, I would not let her go completely alone.  
  
"Ally." I called to the still bewildered maid. She looked at me wide eyed as I pulled four twenty-dollar bills from my purse and handed them to her. "Here is an advance on your pay, I would like you to continue to work for Julia. I would also like reports on where she is and what she is doing."  
  
"So you want me to spy on her?" Ally said her eyes falling on the twenties with lust, though she stepped away from me. "I'll not spy on Miss Julia for the likes of you and your brother."  
  
"Not spy Ally." I assured her, "I have nothing to do with my brother's actions, I only wish make sure of Julia's safety and well-being. I expect a letter every two weeks, more money will follow."  
  
She eyed me for a moment as though trying to see through me before accepting the money and turning for the stairs. I sighed and walked to the small balcony to watch Julia being helped into the car by Jameson. Ally stepped into the passenger seat and Jameson opened the driver's side door.  
  
"To your parent's home Miss?" Jameson asked once inside the car, Julia ripped her eyes away from the window and attempted to concentrate on his words.  
  
"Go home to your parents Julia." She heard Alex's voice echo in her head.  
  
"No, Jameson, to the train station if you please." She replied, her mind already making plans, no she would not return home, she would make her own way. Once again, they were turning from their fate, but fate was not yet done with them.  
  
Reffy: Hey thanks that is an incredible compliment, I am truly flattered. Thank you and thank you for the well wishes on my engagement! I hope you continue to enjoy my writing. Tiger: Thank you for your well wishes!  
  
Emotions: Okay so refresh my memory, it's very faulty on just who owns the Emotions pen name. I don't recognize it, I'm sorry I feel like such an idiot, but I don't remember. I hope you liked this chapter and liked the Dream to Dream chapter. Again I'm sorry! Looks very sheepish.  
  
Nina: Well if you made it this far congratulations! I hope you have enjoyed the ride. Thank you and I'm glad you enjoy it!  
  
Ashley: Thank you for reviewing! It means a lot really it does. Thank you for congratulating me on my engagement!  
  
Lucky: I hope you're feeling better! Thanks for taking the time to review even when you didn't feel well! I think this one is still a little bit of a cliffhanger, but then who doesn't use them to keep their readers interested? Hope you like this chapter!  
  
Rumor: AND I'M BACK! He, he, he, I have another chapter for Dream out for review, and low and behold a Shadows one almost finished. Chelci will be thrilled. Though my chapters aren't coming with the frequency they once did, they still seem to be coming back to back anyway, who knows with Ren faire finally dead for the winter perhaps I'll get back to my daily updates. Another Master Alex appearing here, I thought you'd get a kick out of that again. Any more drooling? Thanks for the long review, I always love yours because they're long, and you take the time to actually review pieces instead of a quick review on all of it! Are you cracking that whip again yet Grandma?  
  
Dreamer C: Thanks for the congratulations. Yup I updated and I did it again three in one month I must be getting back to my old self! I updated as soon as I could thank you!  
  
Ershey: You commanded you got, more I hope you liked it. Thank you for your well wishes on my engagement ( I think I've written that a dozen times, though I am no less sincere this time.) I am flattered you find my story different, I really do try for that! Thank you reviewing!  
  
Pricilla: Did you miss me? It's so nice to be welcomed back! Glad you enjoyed the last chapter, hope you love this one too!  
  
Erinkathleen: Thank you for wishing me well on my engagement, I think it did appear, but I got many well wishes and I gave everyone a big thank you last chapter. Still thank you for the second one! My ring is an amethyst if you want to know why read the beginning of the story again. It's pretty, pear shaped, and with a simple gold swirling band and a tiny diamond next to the amethyst. Unfortunatly the one I picked out was man made, it's too pale to be natural and the man made ones crack easily. With the abuse I heap on my hands we're going to have it made into a necklace and a new ring is being designed by a friend of ours. This one is going to be a purple sapphire and pale emeralds. Emeralds are Danny and my birthstone. Anyway, it's nice to be back!  
  
Chaci: You'll just have to wait to see what happens like everyone else, but I am so happy you like my story. Thank you for your review!  
  
HEY NJL where is everyone? I miss you guys! 


	18. Unlucky Reunion

PART II.  
  
The morning after Julia left Alex left for Europe, as far as he knew she was returning to her family as she had been told. I knew he couldn't bear reading about her marriage, so he didn't know. There were rumors as there always are, but the family said she had been sent to live with a distant relative out West. She was just too much to take, the society matrons all nodded knowingly, for that Julia Dubois had been too wild. They all knew she would come to no good. Still, I think they missed her, she gave them the most interesting gossip. Mrs. Vanderbilt-Belmont, I think felt it the most, she missed Julia terribly and I think she had an inkling that not all was as it seemed.  
  
The Wolves followed Alex and the heists they pulled were spectacular. It was a mixed blessing that Julia had retired from thievery. I think that there was no thrill in it anymore; it brought back memories of Alex. Through Ally I kept tabs on her, and I knew that she tried to purge him from her entirely. As if it were actually possible, but for the moment fate had given them a reprise.  
  
In all actuality, Julia died the night that Alex pushed her out of his life. The night he crushed her beyond any of the injustices that her father visited upon her. The one person she thought she could trust had deceived her, in a manner that I wondered if she could ever forgive. Even her name changed; no longer would she be Julia, instead she became Sophia, though she kept the name Baranoff.  
  
According to Ally, Sophia was a gypsy woman who was going to make a life for herself beyond her humble roots. I believe it was fully out of spite for her family and Alex that she chose her next profession. Unfortunately, it had been placed in her mind because of me. There was one thing that the rich and powerful could never get enough of and that was beauty. Finally, the one thing she had cursed from time to time in her father's household she had a use for.  
  
Sophia Baranoff was a mistress to the elite, a courtesan for the wealthy men so bored in their arranged marriages they turned to another. She was up for the highest bidder and she was picky in her choices. Far pickier than I had been, she was smart and for once in her life she gained something she had never been able to have, power. She learned the power to be gained as a woman, a power that was stronger than most men. Throughout history the most powerful women have learned one thing; there is power in sensuality, sexuality, and beauty. Once she realized this, she used it for all it was worth. There is nothing a man craves more than the untouchable and unattainable, that becomes pliable when least expected.  
  
She traveled up through New England, even down to the South with a man who owned a plantation. Always though she avoided New York, never did she mix with a man who lived there, though on occasion, she took in an opera or a play. I saw her three years after she had left at one such event; I doubt any of the other members of society recognized her. Gone were the virginal white and soft pastels, replaced by rich jewel tones and blacks that suited her far better. That night she wore crimson and black, her dark hair swept up artfully with a single crimson rose nestled among the jet hairpins. Her eyes were kohl rimmed and exotic, her lips crimson and smirking, her skin, darkened no longer pale, but the rich golden her mother's had been.  
  
Her escort for the evening was perfectly tailored and young, from the look of him not married. I had heard she refused married men, I hoped it was true, that even one small shred of morality was still within her. Because from the stories I had been told, she had become near heartless even cruel. They were stories, that like the early ones I had heard about Alex, I had laughed off, but her eyes fell on me as she was leaving and they turned so cold and flat it frightened me. I began to believe that she was no longer the sweet, innocent girl that had left New York. She was hard, worldly, and had pushed away those pesky emotions like affection and love. She looked jaded and disillusioned. No, society would not recognize her on first glance and I doubted considering her current profession that any of the women would have given her more than a passing glance. If not in the halls or the entryway, possibly they used their opera glasses to look through the darkened theater at the woman that was whispered about.  
  
My heart ached with the need to tell Alex, with the need to have him save her, but I couldn't. It was on the tip of my tongue millions of times, but at that time I was sure fate was through with them, that they had made their choices and that was the end of it.  
  
I prayed that was the end of it, because I doubted that either could continue to live with the disappointments of their love. My prayers regarding the two of them together though, it seems have never been answered. For Alex would see her again, he would learn of her new life. Though it wouldn't be for seven years, by that time Sophia had traded enough passion for power to become formidable in her own right, begun to manufacture happiness with laudanum and alcohol.  
  
It was the spring of 1912 that they met again; Sophia's current paramour had taken her for a tour through Europe. It was not something that she had not done before. She had taken trips through Europe, parts of Asia and Africa. They were returning to New York, by way of South Hampton on the morning of April 10, 1912. Alex too, would be boarding the ship, though he was planning to stop in Cherbourg to continue on for some business he had in France. His ticket was outrageous for one day, the boat train from Cherbourg would meet the boat that afternoon. Still he was sure that it would be something to tell later, that he had been on Titanic on it's maiden voyage.  
  
It was as he leaned against the rail that he saw her. He had been looking out at the sea, his mind drifting, as it had for years thinking of Julia, thinking of how much he wished she were here. For some reason later, he would never be able to tell, he glanced at the gangplank at that moment and there she was. Her hair turned to chestnut in the weak sunlight, from where swept beneath a wide-brimmed black hat. Her burgundy traveling dress was of the latest style, it's long straight skirt forcing her to walk in small steps, the lace at her throat contrasting with the golden of her skin. For a moment, he thought that it wasn't her, it was just one of the countless women he had seen that was so close his heart had jumped to see them, but it was. Their eyes met, aquamarine and emerald, for one moment before she looked away. She tilted her head to the gentleman beside her and she smiled at him becomingly, her look almost loving.  
  
Alex felt his gut clench in response, anger and jealousy swept through him as it ripped at his heart to see her like this. She wasn't supposed to be happy with another man; he couldn't help the thought that came unbidden to his mind. She had that right, he had cruelly thrust her from his life, he tried to reason with himself. He shook his head and glanced at the man beside her, he was tall handsome, dark haired, and by the look of him very wealthy. It wasn't the Winthrop puppy though, no this was a man, not a boy, and for a full five minutes Alex entertained ideas of how to dispose of him. He must have been someone that Juila's father thought was better suited. Better suited than he was, unsuitable enough that Dubois was willing to kill his daughter for marrying him. He had to keep that in mind, it was more than Juila's happiness here, it was her very life. Not that she seemed anything other than happy. She practically glowed with it. With a sweep of the crowd they disappeared and Alex turned back to the sea. Still, when he looked into her eyes he hadn't got the feeling she was happy.  
  
Sophia couldn't help, but glance behind her to where Alex stood, the emotions that she kept ruthlessly forced away, came to the surface with one look at his face.  
  
"Sophie, are you alright my dear?"  
  
She looked at her companion, he was handsome, wealthy, and he was good to her. The trip on Titanic had been Jarrod's obsession, from the moment she had admitted a little interest in it. There was really so little that held her interest anymore, she was listless most of the time, but at least in a state of euphoria that created the illusion of happiness. Jarrod thought her easy going, so when something actually caused a spark of interest he moved heaven and hell to get it for her. She would stay with this one for a while, he would take care of her well, until he married in a few years and then she would be gone. Jarrod's sense of honor was too great to ever marry and continue to have a mistress on the side. Not that she would stay if he didn't, that was one of two rules she had created. Married men got too complicated, the other rule being to keep it a business transaction. She would feign affection, even love if she must, but she would never actually feel those emotions again. That had caused some sticky situations, but nothing that she hadn't been able to handle.  
  
"Yes, darling, this cold wind always makes my eyes water." She replied, waiving off his worry and the tears that had come to her eyes gaily. She glanced back at Ally to see if she saw, from the tight look on her face she had. Unwilling to think of it while in Jarrod's presence, she turned instead to look out at the sea, trying to not to be impatient about boarding Titanic. Once she was inside, he couldn't find her, he wouldn't find her. She would make sure of that, but she knew he would. He always did, for years she had avoided him and any function she had heard the slightest rumor he might be attending. Now she couldn't control it.  
  
All she could do, when the time came was to act as though she was over it and him. That he no longer mattered, after all, she mattered so little really to him. She was a fling, just as the men she spent her time with were, though at least she got something out of it. Perhaps not something as incredible as love, but something far more practical.  
  
Jarrod tucked her hand into the crook of his arm as he stepped from the boat train to the dock and headed for the gangway to Titanic. The ship dwarfed the dock, she felt so small and insignificant next to it. It's very size seemed tell all it could dominate even nature itself. Sophia hated ships, but they were a necessary evil to traveling to Europe. Perhaps when she and Jarrod were done, she would buy a villa in France or a cottage in England and live there alone for the rest of her life. She was ready to retire, to live her life in peace and quiet. Her bitterness about Alex would taint her relationships with men for the rest of her life, she understood that now, still she could find some happiness. She deserved at least that much.  
  
Jarrod gave their names to the man that sat behind the desk. As he finalized matters, she glanced about at the people who had boarded as well. The Countess of Rothes stood only feet away, her cousin Miss Gladys Cherry beside her. She smiled charmingly at Jarrod, glanced to Jarrod's side and the smiled died. Sophia shrugged it off; she had seven years of practice convincing herself that those looks did not bother her. There was little she could do about the disapproval that was bound to be eminent during this voyage, she could only act as though it did not matter. Mr. Guggenheim's mistress would be on board; therefore, they could laugh together at the women who craved freedom, as the women sneered down their self-righteous noses. It would be nice to find someone else that understood her way of life, she only wished she had taken more of that laudanum this morning, the warm glow was starting to wear off. She would have to return to their suite soon, it would be time for her afternoon dose.  
  
"Lets go out to the deck, wave to people we do not know." Jarrod urged, as he started to turn.  
  
"Actually, I'll believe I will go to our rooms and supervise the unpacking," Sophia told him, giving an encouraging smile. "You go ahead; my head is beginning to ache a little."  
  
" Do you have that new bottle of laudanum we bought?" he asked, worriedly.  
  
"Yes Jarrod, run along, I'll take a little and have a bit of quiet. I will be perfectly fine by dinner." Sophia said, as she patted his arm, trying to dispel his worries.  
  
"Only take a little, you know what Dr. Hamilton said about that medicine." Jarrod called, as he turned to start for the deck.  
  
"I always am careful." Sophia called back, grinding her teeth to keep the irritation at bay. She had become increasingly irritable lately and she was beginning to have a hard time controlling it. She shook her head and stopped long enough to ask one of the crew to show her to her cabin. She glanced about at the glowing wood, the gilt accents, and fresh roses in their crystal vases. The fire was crackling, cheerfully warding off the damp chill of an English afternoon.  
  
The door to her bedroom was open and Sophia could see Ally moving about with in. Ally barely glanced up as she entered the room, not that Sophia noticed, her eyes were for the valise that sat on the chair to her vanity. In the top of it was the bottle she sought, taking a quick swig of it she recapped it and glanced about as Ally unpacked her gowns, setting one aside to be pressed for dinner that night. She sat on the bed for a moment, watching as Ally opened the case that held her hair jewelry and began picking out the accessories for her to wear. She said nothing, only went about her unpacking as though her mistress were not there.  
  
"Would you like to wear the jet cameo, or the jet necklace?" Ally asked, suddenly breaking the silence of the cabin.  
  
"The cameo." Sophia said, absently as she stared at the glow of the lights.  
  
"I wish you would stop taking that laudanum Miss, if you don't mind me sayin." Ally told her, setting the case down and turning back to the clothing. Undergarments this time were unpacked and placed in the armoire.  
  
"I do mind Ally, I take it to ease my headaches." Sophia snapped, her irritability returning.  
  
"Ever since you left that man, you've been takin more and more." Ally continued, having been with her mistress too long to worry about whether or not Sophia would fire her for saying too much. Actually, anymore she was the closest thing Sophia had to a friend. Once more she had ostracized herself from others, never allowing them too close. Except the men she choose to stay with, and that was only a façade, a carefully constructed façade, that made them believe in love, but one nonetheless.  
  
"That man, will never come near me again." Sophia sighed, the warm golden feeling coming back, all the darkness and bleakness fading.  
  
"I'm not talking about Morgan." Ally said, the frustration creeping into her voice. "I'm talking about Alex Conlon."  
  
The change was instantaneous, the silly smile that played across Sophia's lips faded, replaced by that cold look that I had feared.  
  
"You know you are not to speak that name Ally. You are never to speak that name to me ever." Sophia growled.  
  
"You can't deny it forever Julia." Ally snapped. "You can't hide from the truth, I'd like to see you try, he's here Julia, right here on this ship. He might have the room next door. for all we know. You have to face him, you have to stop hiding from all that happened and denying it. Face him now, let it go and forget him forever, but don't drink yourself into a stupor and drug yourself to keep from thinking of the pain."  
  
"What I do is my own business Ally." Sophia hissed, "My name is not and will never again be Julia, my name is Sophia, affectionately called Sophie by those I allow."  
  
"You mean by those you sleep with." Ally continued. "You make less and less sense the more of that stuff you poor down your throat."  
  
"I'm not listening to this." Sophia said, with as much dignity as she could and stood. "You are not my mother Ally, I haven't had a mother since I was a young child, I don't need one now."  
  
"That remains to be seen." Ally sighed, as she watched Sophia glide from the room, a dazed look in her eyes that had become more and more frequent as the years had continued. Though with those years she had gained a friendship with Sophia and she did not want to loose her. Still, she could not afford to loose her job, there were not many mistresses that paid as well as Sophia insisted her solicitor pay Ally.  
  
She raised her eyes from the shawl she held in her hands at the sound of William's raised voice. Jarrod's valet rarely raised his well-cultured voice, he was stiff with decorum and such things were not what one did. Opening the door to Sophia's room she saw the devil himself standing there cool as a cucumber, as though he belonged there.  
  
"What are you doin here?" Ally hissed, the argument of Sophia's self- destruction still too close in her mind to even think of civility.  
  
"Hello Ally, where is she?" Alex asked, he knew he should have stayed away, he willed himself to stay away, he had even promised himself he would, but with Julia things never worked that way. The feeling that she was not happy haunted him; he had to make sure she was doing well, just as he had checked up on her when he had sent her away the first time. This time, however, there would be no working for money to be worthy of her. There would be no chances for his life to become part of hers, but he had to know. He didn't think he could bear it if she did not have at least some happiness.  
  
"I hope on the far end of the boat from you." She replied, getting her anger under control and turning cold. "If you would like to see her I, will tell her you stopped by."  
  
"No you won't." Alex said matter-of-factly. "You won't let me near her; still, I can find her."  
  
Ally shrugged, as she stalked to the door and opened it, without uttering another word to him, she gestured for him to leave.  
  
"I won't bother her Ally, I won't disrupt her life again, I just want to know she's alright." Alex told her, his voice soft his eye pleading. It would take a far harder woman than Ally to not melt at that look.  
  
" Just leave her be Alex, don't hurt her anymore." Ally sighed, nodding at William, his questioning look. He turned to his master's room and shut the door quietly. " No, she's not alright, hasn't been since you crushed her. Fix it Alex, talk to her, fix it then stay the hell out of her life. Now, get out of here, before you cause any more damage." Alex nodded and brushed past her through the door. Ally leaned against the door as he left and closed her eyes.  
  
"God help them both." She whispered, " You're the only one who can."  
  
Alex ignored the passengers around him, instead he wondered what to say to Julia, what do you say to someone you deliberately hurt and pushed out of your life? What did you say to someone you still loved beyond all reason and couldn't tell her? What did you say to someone you lied to? He wasn't sure if he could speak to her, it would be better if he didn't. Better for them both right? It was better to not think of how wonderful it had been that morning, wonderful to remember the feel of her, the wish to be with her again. She belonged to someone else now, she was unreachable, unattainable for the first time in his life, there was something he had lost and could not charm his way back into having. He walked away from her rooms, ignoring the rich people that surrounded him, irritating him with all their pomp and self-importance.  
  
Some fresh air would help him. Some fresh air would put some sense back into his head; clear it of all the cobwebs of the past that seemed to enfold him whenever he got around her. He reached the end of the hallway and passed the top of the staircase and entered the Restaurant Reception Room intending to head out to the Café Parisian and to the Second Class Promenade Deck. It was there he saw her seated at a small table, she was staring out at the ocean a cigarette held elegantly with an ivory holder carved with roses. She took a drag off the cigarette, and glanced up at him her face neutral, expressionless. The moment had come he had dreaded for years, though his eyes never left hers as he moved to the table and took a seat.  
  
"Well, Alex, it seems we have some catching up to do." She said, her voice deeper than he remembered. She took another drag and thanked the waiter as he finished pouring her coffee.  
  
"Yes." He replied. " It seems we do."  
  
In no way is this chapter meant to make this a cross over, I will be sticking to historical facts, and actually have done my research for years on Titanic. I have been obsessed since I was eight, I have tons, and tons of info gathered, one day I may write a story on it. Anyway , I hope you enjoyed.  
  
This chapter was edited (finally, I need it!) by the lovely J.P, say thank you everyone.  
  
Ershey: And their back! We'll see how the muses work this one! I updated, yeah for me!  
  
J.P. hmmmm, not sure, well this one you couldn't have missed because you edited it! Yea! Thank you soooooo much honey! I'm not sure about brilliant, I can be awfully dim sometimes.  
  
Rae Kelly: Straight for you! Thanks!  
  
Dreamer Conlon: Thank you, I've kept on writing hope you continue to enjoy!  
  
Ashley: I hope I could be famous too, but what person doesn't dream of it from time to time. Thank you the compliment was really very sweet! I hope I don't disappoint you!  
  
Emotions: AHHHHH now I get it! Hello Ice Renegade, I'd say long time no hear from, but it seems I just didn't know it. Sorry it's heart wrenching, I hope you still will continue to like it!  
  
Chaci: Thank you for the congrats! I do try to update as regularly as possible. More when I have free time. Thank you again! (Does this qualify for new reviewer dance? I don't believe I've done one for you. Dances, and dances, and dances)  
  
Rumor: Aloha chicky! I can't wait for your reviews. Yes poor Spot always the leader, always the one taking care of everyone else. No the hit was in effect if she stayed in New York or left with Alex. You can't expect him to let Julia find happiness can you? I hope you enjoyed this one! Can't wait for your next review.  
  
Nevada: Yup I'm back, I hope you continue to enjoy my work as much as you did before! I've been on hiatus and that can wreck havoc with one's writing. I won't stop writing all together, it just isn't in me.  
  
Ali: Ah, my favorite romantic, oh how I missed you! I'm glad you like the romance, I always think of you when I write those scenes. Wow I beat Hourglass for favorite Spot, I didn't think that was ever going to happen, everyone seems to like that one the best of all my stories. Hey I updated Shadows too, the sequel to Hourglass. Again I was thinking of you. Hope you enjoy! 


	19. Visions

All he could do was stare at her, as she tipped the cream into her coffee, swirling it through and turning it from a dark brown to a rich golden. Much like the color of her skin now, her eyes were the same emerald, though that was what had changed the most. No longer did they sparkle, no longer did they even seem alive, instead they were dull and clouded. For someone who had known her as a child, it was quite the shock. She had always seemed to twinkle, when she entered the room things had brightened. Now only her beauty and jaded expression made her stand out.  
  
"So how have you been Alex?" Sophia asked her anger under tight reign, her fingers nearly white, they were gripping the delicate cup between both hands so hard. It was an attempt to keep herself from slapping the faithless son of a bitch. The best revenge would be to let him think he hadn't bothered her at all. That it had been nothing that night, nor had anything mattered, she certainly wasn't going to let him know that she had actually loved him.  
  
"Well, and you?" He replied, his eyes still studying her with an intensity that made her feel as though he could see right through her.  
  
"Well." She responded her tone still rather clipped. He had known he had hurt her, the bland eyes and the tone that sniped at him he had expected. What he hadn't expected was that it hurt him all the same. He had thought he could get over her, looking at her now even with the dull eyes and bored expression, he wanted her in a way he had never wanted any other woman. He found himself wanting to tease that fiery look back into her eyes and then sooth the anger with passion. He wanted to joke with her and see her sparkle instead of glance listlessly about as though nothing mattered. He wanted her by his side, not the man with which she had come aboard. He wanted that adoring glance, and the smile, instead of the hostility that there was between them.  
  
"Was there something you wanted Alex?" Sophia asked cocking an eyebrow in a way that made him feel surprisingly inferior. It was as though she was looking at refuse or something particularly vile. He swallowed, he did deserve it he told the flash of anger. Had it not been her, he doubted he would have been a civil.  
  
"Are you happy Julia?" He queried, "Does that man make you happy?"  
  
"Happy enough for now." She told him, her voice still colder than the wind just past the windows that had teased color into her now pale cheeks.  
  
"I just wanted to know you were alright." He sighed as he moved his chair back and made to stand. She caught the arm he rested on the table with a surprisingly strong grip.  
  
"I am fine, I am not one of those irritatingly annoying debutant twits that couldn't survive in the real world if they were forced into it Alex. Remember, I came from the real world, and I wasn't afraid to go back." She snapped for the first time showing some spark, which made Alex breathe a sigh of relief. "Nor do I need a man to make me happy, once I was fool enough to believe that one had to get married and have babies to be happy, but I have moved beyond that. I have grown up and perhaps my life may not be suitable, but it has made me wealthy and allowed me to survive."  
  
"Julia darling." He smiled in that cocky way she remembered and instead of finding it amusing as she once had, her hand itched to take it off his face. Still in his eyes lingered a bit of confusion and she knew he would rather die than let her know he didn't understand her statement. "No woman can live without a man."  
  
"That is what all men think." Julia replied with a smirk of her own, there was some satisfaction in keeping him in the dark. She took some satisfaction in having that advantage with him and knowing that he hated it. No longer were they on amicable terms, which made any information she had that he didn't an advantage. She wouldn't think about the part of her that suddenly didn't want him to know. That there was a piece in her that it still mattered to her what he thought. Her choices had been made to spite him, to show him he didn't matter, but now that she was face to face with him she didn't want him to know. She didn't want the feeling of shame that lingered close to her on dark nights when she felt so totally alone to be confirmed by the disgust in his eyes. She had done what she needed to survive, but still that same part of her wished she had chosen a different path.  
  
Alex watched her closely, noticing the slight flush to her cheeks and the way she refused to look at him while she sorted through whatever was going on in her mind. There was something she didn't want him to know. Something that bothered her, something that had to do with her change, he wondered what it was. He wanted to press her, to find out for once she had told him everything, but he knew now that whatever it was dealt with him and he wasn't sure he was ready for that responsibility yet. There was bleakness in her eyes as she reached for her reticule and pulled out a small brown glass bottle. He watched his eyes narrowed as she poured a healthy dose into her cup. Laudanum, he caught on the label and he felt a sharp tug at him. He knew what it was, most of all he knew what it did.  
  
"My name is no longer Julia, Alex anymore than you go by Spot. Call me Sophia." She said as though trying to throw his attention of what she was doing as she deftly recapped the bottle and put it back into the little bag. Glancing up at him, she saw the wariness in his eyes, there was an understanding that Jarrod could never have. He had been sheltered like most of the rich; he hadn't seen the other side of life. Alex had, he had seen people die of laudanum addiction.  
  
"Are you ill Julia?" he persisted, using her name knowing it only irritated her more and to cover up the worry that was tugging at him. The laudanum troubled him, knowing she was not happy, he worried she might be doing something stupid. The vagueness, the listlessness, the disinterest, all rang warning bells in his head.  
  
"No, Alex, just headaches sometimes." She said loftily brushing it away as though it were nothing. There was something about it that was not right though, he knew it, he wasn't stupid, and he knew the signs. He had held one of his newsgirls in his arms while she died of a laudanum overdose. One that he was sure hadn't been intentional, but rather the need for it had outdistanced her body's ability to handle it. Though of the deaths he had seen in his time as leader of the Brooklyn newsies that had been the most peaceful. The young didn't often die easy, so for her he supposed it had been a blessing.  
  
He knew it wasn't his place any longer, but he would be damned if he would let her slowly kill herself with laudanum.  
  
"You know you could kill yourself with that." He said softly her eyes blazed, and then surprisingly they cooled as she glanced over his shoulder. Glancing back, he saw the same man standing behind him that he had seen with her on the boat train. He glanced coolly at Alex, it was the kind of look one gave to a man that was bothering his woman. Hastily, he stood and held out his hand, the famous charm oozing from his as flawlessly as it always had. The worries about Julia for the moment would have to be suspended in the need to keep this man from causing a scene.  
  
"Alex Conlon." He said extending his hand to the slightly hostile man.  
  
"Jarrod Steward." Jarrod replied, as Alex smiled in greeting and opened his mouth. It was at that moment the cup finally broke, too fragile to take her anger any more. Hot liquid poured over her hands and into a rather impressive cut in her hand.  
  
At her cry of anger and pain, they immediately stopped seizing each other up and turned to her.  
  
"Oh Sophie," Jarrod cried as Alex started forward, he stepped back knowing it was no longer his place, he had given it up to save her. She didn't know and would never know, but he couldn't count how many times over the years he had wanted to tell her. Instead, he had to watch as another man soothed her and called over a waiter to help, instead he had to feel the pain and anger of jealousy consume him. Instead, he had to watch helplessly as another man took his place. His face was unreadable as Jarrod whispered soothing noises and endearments, wasn't he supposed to be rewarded for a good deed? He shouldn't be thrown into hell instead.  
  
Sophia watched the emotions play in his eyes, where she knew from experience would be the only window into his emotions. She tried not to smile as the waiter brought linen napkins and warm water.  
  
"Silly me." She said airily, her smile brightening for real for the first time in years. Happiness, though cruel, washed through her and she ignored the pain in her hands.  
  
"Where were your gloves, you hands will have been freezing before they were scalded." Jarrod scolded. Sophia shrugged like a naughty child that has been caught, but is trying to charm their way out of trouble with their shear adorableness. Jarrod smiled, shaking his head as he gently cleaned out the cuts on her hands. Looking back up to give Alex a triumphant smile, she found he was gone. Disappointment filled her at his disappearance and she felt deflated, the anger that had sustained her through Alex's moments with her sapped away and left her feeling as a bathtub must once all the water drained from it. The emptiness that had consumed her for so long crept back into her heart and she closed her eyes, screaming furiously inside against fate yet again for making her love a man that could never really love anyone.  
  
"Who was that man, was he bothering you?" Jarrod asked her looking about for Alex even as she did.  
  
"No not a bother, really, just a friend from a long time ago." She replied placing a soothing hand on his arm. Jarrod rose from his crouched position and helped her from the chair.  
  
"Let's take you back to the suite, I bet a dose of laudanum and a nap would make everything better." Jarrod told her steering her toward the inside of the ship by her elbow.  
  
"No, no I'm fine Jarrod really." Sophia replied breezily, her head was spinning, and she should probably lie down, but there was something odd about this feeling. Something she almost recognized, "I'll go for a brief walk up to the Reading and Writing room, and I'll send someone for a book."  
  
"Are you sure Sophie really, you look pale." Jarrod protested, but she waived it away.  
  
"I just need a bit of fresh air Jarrod; I'll be back in our suite in time to get ready for dinner." She smiled at him reassuringly and he nodded grudgingly. He knew if he tried to force her though it would cause a far greater scene than had already happened and he had seen some of the first- class old biddies already heading off to gossip about his mistress. He was not prepared to deal with any more gossip about Sophia circulating than there already was. She however seemed oblivious to gossip.  
  
"I'll bring you your book." He sighed, and turned to go letting her know with his stiff manner that he was not pleased with her choice, but he would let her go if that was what she wanted. She sighed in frustration, though she enjoyed the fact he was a strong man, she didn't enjoy being treated like a child when he disapproved.  
  
She started for the grand staircase that would lead her back up to first class and the Reading and Writing room, it's clock was beautiful as were all the clocks from A deck down to D. She stood for a moment looking at that clock, admiring its workmanship, when her breath began to come in gasps and she felt her head reeling, she knew what then what was happening. Her eyesight blurred back and forth for a moment as she fought it, she thought the laudanum had taken care of it. Yes, she had used it to keep the pain from Alex away, but the cursed gift she had received also seemed to fall dormant while she was under the influence of laudanum.  
  
Her head was spinning far too fast and she collapsed next to the railing, feeling the stairs bite into her hip and her arm as she fell. Her mind whirled with thoughts of denial as she saw the other passengers turn toward her dramatic fall. She knew what was happening, though she could not control it.  
  
This couldn't be happening, the right amount of laudanum kept her happy, kept her sane, for the night she had left Alex all sorts of visions had assaulted her. Dream visions, never were they awake visions, but she knew the difference by now between a dream and vision. Visions of Alex pleading for her to come back, visions of him dying and blaming her, visions of her holding his lifeless body as if her leaving him would somehow cause his death.  
  
It had taken all her strength and some heavy doses of laudanum to keep herself from going back to him. For in all her visions he died because she left him. In every one, it was her fault and her he blamed. He even spoke of how he had sacrificed his happiness for her life. Eventually she convinced herself she did not care, and Alex had sealed his own coffin by leaving her. She hadn't left him, he had thrown her out, left her yet again to people who cared nothing for her, and left her for another woman. All his stories of loving her had been a lie; all his sanctimonious words of how he had done everything for her own good had been a lie. Everything she had believed about him had been a lie. She missed the old Alex, the boy that he had been, the selfless boy that had adored her. He had grown to be a man and there was no room in his life for her. She had been just another of the women he had strung along. That was the hardest part, that the boy who had loved her, the one she had prophesized would love her until death couldn't possibly. It was the one vision that had not come true, the only one she was sure by now could never come true.  
  
For years now, she had tried to forget that vision for it only brought her hope, she had put it to the back of her mind, but now visions clouded her eyes forcing her to see what they wanted her to see. She saw the first vision she had seen with him and it continued as she relived her mother's death, Alex's mother's death, The Highwayman whispered in her mind, pouring from her mouth in a ragged whisper. It spun faster and harder, her vision blurring as all the colors bled together and then it let her go, leaving her gasping for breath and whimpering in confusion and pain.  
  
Glancing about, she saw people on the landing below standing in heavy coats chatting and glancing at the ships crew that scurried about like ants not making eye contact with the passengers. A few trickled through the crowd passing out life vests to those that did not wear them. She saw some refuse them and shook her head. What had happened while the visions had taken her? How long had they lasted? Had they left her on the stairs until night, for it had been full day when she had started up them? She stood at the bottom of the stairs, the cherub looked back at her from where they were carved, the clock read 12:15 and she could hear strains of the ships band playing a lively ragtime tune.  
  
It had been hours since she had fallen, she wondered if they had decided to have a life raft drill, though something was decidedly wrong about this picture. She hoped they wouldn't actually be forced to get into the water for the air was cold. Glancing down she found her dress had changed she no longer wore the red traveling dress she had thought she had not yet changed out of , instead this was an ethereal silvery georgette and satin dress covered her. It had been a choice of Jarrod's when she had left New York she had left behind the softer colors, preferring jewel tones that set her apart from the flock. Still he had loved the fabric and had insisted the dressmaker use it. The shear sleeves were doing little to warm her chilled flesh, her mind boggled over the oddity of everything for a moment before she felt a hand on her arm. She turned the sparkle of her diamond bracelet winking in the light.  
  
"You'll catch your death." Jarrod told her as he held out her mink coat and she smiled thankfully, as he slipped it over her arms. Instantly she began to warm. "Here I doubt you will actually need this, but just incase, it is better to be prepared."  
  
He looked worried as he placed a life vest over her head. Near her a young woman who wore a dress that attempted to hide her pregnancy, but didn't quite manage it, looked worriedly to her husband who was patting her hand soothingly. For the most part only Jarrod seemed worried, but to appease him she allowed him to buckle the snaps over her coat, though the bulk of it was irritating.  
  
She found her mind was clear and for the first time in years she seemed wide-awake. Her heart raced as she looked around yet again. Something was wrong, something was very wrong, and everyone stood chatting as though it were nothing. She couldn't quite grasp what it was that was wrong, but she could feel it, sense it as she had been sensitive to such things before.  
  
Turning she headed up the stairs intending to find out exactly why she was trussed up in this ridiculous life vest in a room with all these people, but nothing seemed to be happening. She looked at the nearest steward, his eyes were glassy like one of those people who has had a bad shock and has no idea what to do.  
  
"What is it?" she asked him quietly, "It is alright tell me."  
  
He seemed to snap out of his trance and looked at her for a moment in absolute horror. She felt the hair on the back of her neck rise as she continued to wait patiently for him to respond.  
  
"The ship is going down." He told her, "Find a life raft as soon as possible."  
  
With those words he started off, leaving her behind panic clawing at her throat in an effort to scream. She closed her eyes fighting for control and turned only to find Jarrod right behind her.  
  
"I love you Sophie." He whispered, panic clear on his face. "I'll never see you again and I want you to know right now that I love you. If I live past this night I swear I will marry you."  
  
"Jarrod you don't want to marry me." She whispered tears clogging her throat. "I'm a courtesan, nothing more you will find a girl one day that will love you beyond your wildest imagination."  
  
"There aren't enough life rafts for everyone." She heard a male voice say, glancing around she saw two men hurrying past, the captain among them. "Only enough for half and probably not even that many. We can't have panic, we will get as many off this ship as soon as possible, but just incase, lock the gates for third class until we are ready to let them up, the lower levels will flood first and cause them to panic. We can't have a riot here, order must be kept."  
  
Looking up she saw Alex standing at the railing his eyes intently on her, his eyes glittering with anger. With her life in such danger, none of what had passed before them seemed to matter. Without thinking she was climbing the stairs to him everything else seemed to fade, Jarrod, the frightened stewards, the people who were going to die. It all came down to the man that she could not stop loving.  
  
"Alex." She whispered reaching a hand out for him. The boat lurched causing commotion below and she felt a heart wrenching sorrow, for Alex would never willingly step into a boat and leave others to die, especially not women and children, for some reason that thought was for most in her mind.  
  
"I do not mind dying tonight Julia, as long as I leave knowing you loved me." He told her taking her hand and laying along side his cheek. He kissed it his hand still holding hers to him.  
  
"I will always love you Alex, always!" she told him smiling softly, the boat shifted again. Time seemed to be flying past him and the boat was already listing forward, water was filling the area below where Jarrod still stood, past the dinning room and toward the stairs. Alex's grip was torn from hers as he was thrown off balance she reached for him and found nothing. For she was spinning again, colors blending together and when it finally she stopped she opened her eyes, everything was watery, dark blue, in the darkness she knew people struggled, but there was no oxygen, it was a quiet death, swift and peaceful once they stopped fighting. Sorrow filled her, tears that were warm next to the brutal coldness of the water. It was so horrible all the lives around her were gone, if only there had been more life rafts, if only there had been more warning. There was a blinding flash of light so bright it caused her to take in a deep breath in pain. Instead of water, she took in air.  
  
"Sophia, Sophie, please snap out of it." She could hear Jarrod's terrified voice and slowly the darkness receded leaving her looking into a pair of wide blue eyes. They were the color of the darkness she had been in, the color of the sea at night when you look through the light at it. A touch of green slid here and there; quickly she focused on his face and immediately began trembling with fear.  
  
"The ship," she whispered fearfully. "It's going to go down."  
  
"What?" he asked in surprise. He looked at her with confusion as a man pushed his way through the crowd to her side.  
  
"Now what happened young lady?" He looked at her with the professionalism of a doctor. She looked around at the curious faces and leaned back closing her eyes for a moment as she tried to steady herself. Opening them again, she found the man his bushy white handlebar mustache nearly covered his lips and matched his uniform. By his clothing, he was one of the ships crew.  
  
"I fell." She said weakly, knowing from the looks on people's faces they would not listen to what she had to say. It hadn't mattered before it had actually outcast her from them. Looking into Jarrod's worried face she understood that he would never be able to accept that part of her any more than her father had, still all those people dying, surely she could do something even if they locked her in the brig for craziness.  
  
"The ship is going to sink I saw it." She said clearly sitting though wincing at the soreness of her bruised muscles. She found she had actually tumbled down the stairs and landed at the bottom. Her skirts luckily were swirled elegantly about her legs rather than hiked up as could have happened.  
  
"Saw it did you?" the older man that had begun checking her limbs for broken bones said in a humored voice. It held the soft bur that Alex's mother had once held and she knew him for an Irish man. His eyes twinkled with humor and there was an air of youth about him. Her reticule lay next to her, the bottle broken on the floor near where she had landed. Liquid had soaked through it and puddle on the floor. " My name is Dr. O'Loughlin, and yours is?"  
  
"Sophia Baranoff." Jarrod supplied still holding her hand, his brow furrowed with worry.  
  
"Well Miss Sophia that was quite the spill you took." He continued in a soothing voice. "I think you may have been lucky enough to survive with just a few bruises, though perhaps quite a knock to the head."  
  
She shook her head as he reached for the reticule and opened it, glancing at the label of the broken glass he nodded as if he it was as he expected.  
  
"Do you take laudanum often Miss Sophia?" He asked her, the crowd murmured as Jarrod began to help her up.  
  
"Just on occasion for headaches." She replied trying to keep the defensiveness from her voice.  
  
"Did you take a little more than usual today?" he persisted.  
  
"Perhaps, I did not use a measuring cup, my head ached horribly." She told him evasively. He narrowed his eyes at her, but let it go, presumably because he knew it might not be best to accuse her of using it too often in front of everyone and upset Jarrod.  
  
"You do know that Laudanum is an opium mixed with alcohol and can cause you to see things like straight opium can?" he continued, "I would imagine your vision was merely caused by the laudanum and therefore nothing to worry about."  
  
Sophia looked up praying for patience, it was then that she saw Alex looking down from the railing above her, just has he had stood before and she closed her mouth. There would be no talking of it and having anyone take her seriously. Though it might cause many odd looks and Sophia was tired of them. The most horrid part of it all is she could save so many people if they would just listen, but no one believed in the sight anymore. No one understood, but there was one person she could save, if she could only get Alex off the ship. She looked away and allowed Jarrod to lead her off; her instincts told her he would find her again. He knew what had happened, he may not have heard what she had seen, but he had been around long enough to know when she was having a vision. He knew the signs almost better than she did. He would come and when he did, she would send him away for good.  
  
Dreamer Conlon: Glad you loved it! I really try to make my readers see what is happening, I want to give them enough of a description to actually see it in their mind's eye. Glad I seem to be hitting that goal. Thank you!  
  
Rae Kelly: Up over 200 reviews. I actually have accumulated over 300 for my time travel fiction Through the Hourglass, but it is nice to know that I have managed to hit over 200 again. It really makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. I take that as an incredible compliment that you really enjoy my work!  
  
Ershey: Yup I sure did and look I'm doing it again. Actually this is two updates in one day. I just finished posting my POTC fiction. Excuse the plug, I couldn't help it! It seems many of my readers are just as fascinated with Titanic as I am. It's nice to know one is not alone in one's obsession. I hope I keep you hooked  
  
J.P.: In all actuality you don't have to drop by the site I think I give you almost all my stories to edit anyway. Thank you, what would I do without you to boost my ego?  
  
Rumor: Yup two in on day. I'm spent! Sweetheart, I live vicariously too. Just because I'm engaged doesn't mean my fiancé is as romantic as the guys I write. I wish, still I think if he was I wouldn't have as much fun writing the scenes that I do. Though sometimes one can't help, but wish for a little romance. Dan's too afraid of being sappy. It's like this phobia or something. Anyway, yes they are on Titanic, it really is an interesting topic it seems for everyone. Yes poor Julia is not the sweet innocent that Alex left behind, we'll see how he takes that. So here was the latest installment, hope you enjoyed it!  
  
Nevada: Thank you, so far everyone seems to like the Titanic idea, hope you keep enjoying!  
  
Paris: Thank you I am so pleased you are enjoying my story (Does new reviewer dance), it was an interesting twist that I haven't seen done very often. Thanks again.  
  
Clover6776: I am glad you found my story then. (does new reviewer dance again). I got this out as soon as I could. Thank you!  
  
Pricilla2 : Well thanks for taking the time out to review. Yes the relationship is certainly strained. It would have to be after all. Her change of lifestyle is certainly going to be a shock to Alex.  
  
Jessica: Thank you I hope you continue to think so.  
  
Dreamer: ooooh you reviewed all the chapters you missed. I love you! I stand by my S.O. in WOT I miss you! I miss talking to someone I have so much in common with. I keep hoping to catch you online and it doesn't seem to be working. Let me know I would love to talk with you again. I hope I didn't disappoint! 


	20. Nightmares of the Past

I want to give a special thank you to a special someone. Danny, I love you honey, thank you for editing this, it certainly needed it!!!  
  
She allowed Jarrod to tuck her into bed, she lay quietly as he kissed her forehead and left her to Ally's capable and much more understanding hands. The look Jarrod had given her when he thought she wasn't paying attention had hurt. She had steeled herself against looks, against the animosity and derision that she had seen so often in people's eyes for as long as she could remember. It was something she had thought herself immune to by now. She had forced herself to become immune for both her choices in men and profession had given cause to a wealth of speculation. With speculation came interested and nasty looks.  
  
Her mind went back to the night she left. It was a way to force the away the thought of Alex's look of pained concern as he had sat next to her. With that look unbidden and completely unwanted a feeling of hope had shined it's light into her soul. Hope she was dimming with memories of the past.  
  
She had been devastated; there was no other word for it. She had found a hotel and there she had wallowed in self-pity and alcohol until she was nearly out of money and had to sell her jewelry. She had sold each piece, one by one, taking great pleasure in the knowledge she was selling heirlooms of her fathers. She felt conflicting emotions, both empty, but full of pain.  
  
Once the money from the jewels was nearly gone she turned to stealing once again. Time and time again she had reached for paper to write a note and summon Deirdre to pick up where she had left off, but her heart wasn't in it any longer. She had tried a few heists on her own and she no longer had her edge. Gone was the thrill and rush. In its place had been an aching knot of memories. Memories of working with Alex; everything brought her back to him.  
  
Unable to handle the memories anymore she had fled to Connecticut, where finally finding herself a failure both in love and in life she had taken herself to a restaurant to get herself properly drunk. She had chosen a high-class establishment, but she was alone and unescorted, so it was an honest mistake when she had been propositioned. No woman of respectability would have been caught dead without an escort. For a moment she had been repulsed and infuriated, but it reminded her of me. Two thoughts went through her mind at that point, one was of how others and I had managed to make themselves quite wealthy from such a trade, and two was how angry Alex would be if he found out.  
  
It had felt good to be the bad girl, to officially thumb her nose at society and do what she damn well wanted. She became the life of the parties she was invited to; she was witty, charming and beautiful. Rich men had flocked to her looking for companionship they did not often have with women of their station. They also enjoyed the fact they could take her to the nicer establishments of the world and she could easily blend as one of their own. She was not an embarrassment, instead she was far more of an asset.  
  
Still Alex was in Sophia's blood and she started to lean towards the more unsavory types of rich men. Rich men, she found came in all walks of life, and those that were the most willing to spend money on a mistress like her had been those that were involved in the more sordid lifestyles. She found they needed her, needed her to polish them to teach them how to survive in the world of the well to do. She knew all the rules and taught them well.  
  
Really it was surprising I had managed to keep the truth of her new life hidden from Alex, since many of the men she had taken up with were often men he worked with. Men that made my heart clench with fear in my chest as I read Ally's letters. My only relief came from the fact I had sent Ally after her, she seemed to be on a hell bent suicidal turn testing the limits of fate as much as possible. I think she had given up on life at that point and had turned to the riskiest way of surviving, for she didn't care if she lived or died. Still there was nothing I could do; as long as Sophia remained safe I would not interfere. Had I protested she would have only followed it more rigorously. I had just prayed she would come to her senses before it became more painful than she could handle.  
  
It was not her own pain she thought of, but Alex's. She had begun to choose men that he worked with in hopes he would learn of her new life. She wanted to hurt Alex more than he had ever hurt her. She wanted to know he was bleeding inside as much as she was. A part of her she would never admit to, also had hoped he would save her, save her from the men around her and from herself. Finally she had lost the hope and in it's place came a mission to forget him.  
  
Now that she looked at it the mission had been fruitless, for Alex would never leave, she wouldn't let it happen. Though she might not think of him consciously day to day, it was an illusion. Everything she had done with her life thus far had been in revenge. A revenge he had never even noticed, and in the end it had only hurt her. The hardest thing for her to realize was that all that had been driving her all these years had been for naught. All the nightmares that haunted her had no purpose other than to remind her of her own stupidity. It was nightmares of these times that troubled Sophia, shame of what she had done with her life just to hurt a man who had hurt her. In the end she was beginning to realize she had only hurt herself.  
  
She closed her eyes at the thought of the nightmares, of the man that had caused them. Unfortunately he was not a figment of her imagination, he was a real man. A real man that was somewhere in this world biding his time, she had no illusions he would never let her go.  
  
She had met the devil incarnate and his name was Morgan Donovan, an Irishman with an Irish temper and very specific ideas of how a woman should act. He had been the last of the men that she had been putting her life on the line by associating with. He had forced her to look death in the face in a way she hoped never to be repeated. It hadn't shaken her entirely out of her careless suicidal binge, but it had made her realize this was not the way she wanted to go.  
  
She couldn't quite remember what had drawn her to him, though she knew what had drawn him to her; the same thing that had drawn them all. She had found that a woman who had come into control of her sexuality was a potent lure for men. It was what she had wondered, and every woman now wondered about her. What was it that attracted men to the women who had left behind their morals? It was a question she had never known she didn't want answered until it had been. Men flocked to women like her because they wanted to control what couldn't be controlled. A woman who does not stay with one man is an affront to the male race and that all woman must at some point be controlled.  
  
Morgan Donovan believed this more than most men, women were his toys, his slaves, and his dogs. Perhaps it was that Morgan had been as different from Alex as night and day that had drawn her to him. They were so different, yet so much the same. She hadn't allowed Morgan into her heart, but she had allowed him to control her. It was a shame she felt more keenly than the shame she was beginning to feel about her profession.  
  
The difference was at first on the surface where Alex's was golden, Morgan was dark, though they both had light eyes, Morgan's were green rather than blue. They both had an air of danger that clung to them and made women want to do the same. They both were tall and muscular and they were both violent men with a quick temper. It was there that the similarities ended. Where Alex had tightly controlled his temper, Morgan spent it freely. Where Alex was fair though brutal, Morgan was just brutal. Where Alex would never raise a hand to a woman, Morgan took delight in it.  
  
Her heart raced in her chest and she threw back the covers and she rose unsteadily to her feet. She made her way to the trunk that lay open propped against the wall. Ally had probably left her laudanum there since she refused to touch it. She felt around inside only to find them hidden in the pocket that lined the top half of the trunk. With a sigh of relief she quickly pulled it out and as she gazed at the bottle in the dim light her hands began to shake.  
  
She had sought to forget Morgan in a bottle, but that was only reminder of him. She had only dabbled with laudanum before him. She had just begun to enjoy the happy haze it left her in. It was innocent and possibly easily stopped; until Morgan had found it and realized that she had started to become addicted. It had been his way to finally control her, and he started to slip it into her drinks. Eventually he moved on to straight opium and before she knew it she was a slave to her addiction and Morgan. He used it to keep her, to chain her as effectively as a dog. By the time she had gained the courage to take her battered body and pride and go she couldn't stop the need that raged through her.  
  
It had been difficult to watch it from afar, to know that she would never accept my help as long as Alex and I shared the same blood. In many ways she was more of a daughter than a sister. Since I had raised her for most of her childhood, I knew I had to find the courage to act. I had to find some way to help her whether she knew it or not, though I knew it would be much easier if she didn't know it. I had kept an account that Nick knew nothing about, a little cushion just incase, for no matter how much I loved my husband I refused to leave myself without support. There was too much at risk with Nick's business so I had created a little nest egg in the event of an emergency.  
  
I dug into my private stash and hired my husband's most trusted men. Men who would scare Morgan off enough that we could move Sophia. With Ally's help we had gotten her away from him and had managed to pull her from her opium drenched haze. The withdrawal had been more than Sophia's battered body could handle, but Ally had weaned her to smaller doses of laudanum. Unfortunately it was for nothing as Sophia's addiction to laudanum was growing stronger by the day and Ally feared she would only turn back to pure opium as before. Our only hope lay in Alex.  
  
In my heart I knew that Alex was the only one who could save her from both Morgan and herself. I had to bite back a smile when I had sat at my desk with both telegrams in my hand telling me Alex and Sophia would be sailing on Titanic. I took it as a sign, a sign that fate was finally bringing them back together. I took it as a sign that Sophia would finally be all right.  
  
It was with great reluctance and a telegram from me that arrived after the first go round that Ally let Alex into Sophia's room. The room was dim and Sophia had retired to her bed where she dozed, the laudanum bottle lay within her trunk where she had dropped it unopened. He watched her as she slept, so innocent and peaceful, gone were the sardonic masks, and protective layers, here in sleep she would always be the sweet girl he had loved. Here was Julia, his Julia, not this stranger that Alex hardly knew anymore, this woman who had become a shell of what she once had been.  
  
Sophia Baranoff, it was a name that had rung a bell, one that he hadn't pieced the puzzle together over, but it would come to him. His memory was a marvelous thing, something that had served him well over the years and he knew it would not fail him now; he had only to be patient.  
  
He felt a sense of déjà vu as he watched her sleeping, but this time she would not wake easily. As he watched her face paled and grimaced taking on the look of someone who is in pain and is bracing themselves for more. Tears spilled down her pale cheeks and it angered him. Anger that was not directed at her, but rather for the invisible demon she seemed to be fighting with, a demon that despite what she thought, he would have gladly taken on for her. It drew him closer, forcing him to kneel next to her bedside and gently try to sooth the lines away with a gentle caress.  
  
"No, Morgan." She whimpered cowering into the bed. He frowned looking at her, this was not the defiant woman who had stood in the Café Parisian only an hour ago, this was a frightened wreck. She shook with her fear and her whimper was rising as her body jerked with unseen blows.  
  
"Julia." He whispered trying to break her out of whatever nightmare had her in its grip. "Juila wake up."  
  
Her eyes flew open and came to rest fearfully on his face, she attempted to scramble away from him, her arms raising to protect herself in a gesture he knew. One that only made him angrier, for it had been the instinctive reaction of a woman who has been beaten. It was hard to mistake since he had seen in many times in his role as leader, though it had never mad him as angry as it did now.  
  
"Who hit you?" Alex hissed as he grabbed her arms in a grip made harder than he meant by his fury. " Was it the man you were with today, tell me."  
  
"Let me go." She said softly, but the waver in her voice told him that his grip was frightening her. Quickly he complied and leaned back, studying her in the soft light, trying not to be furious with the fact that she feared his fist as much as her tormenters.  
  
"Tell me who did it Julia." Alex hissed, but Sophia forced herself to remain calm in the face of his anger.  
  
"Jarrod wouldn't hurt a fly Alex." she told him rubbing her arms where he had gripped her, and giving him an angry glance of her own. " It doesn't matter now, it certainly shouldn't matter to you. What are you doing here?"  
  
She added the last trying to steer him from the conversation she didn't want to have. He looked at her for a moment, his face unreadable as he fought with his temper; it soothed her to see him actually fighting it. Finally deciding to not press her for now he moved onto the topic she had presented.  
  
"What did you see Julia?" He asked in response choosing not to tell her all the reasons he had come. They wouldn't do any good, he had seen to that, he had severed their relationship so effectively it should have instantly cauterized the wound of her leaving. Instead he could see it had festered. On both accounts, for no one could touch him the way Julia did, and the pain in her eyes told him she still hurt too.  
  
For a moment she hesitated as her mind flew and she knew suddenly she had in her hands the ultimate revenge, she alone knew what would happen. She also knew with the skill of a woman that has toyed men before that she had only to give him a few choice words and he would stay with her. She could leave him to the fate that she had seen, but as she remembered his response to her in the vision, she couldn't do it. The pain of killing him was far worse than the pain of loosing him.  
  
"I didn't see anything." Julia lied, unable to look into those beautiful eyes that were searching her face for answers.  
  
" I know better than anyone what happens when you see. I know how pale and waxy your face gets, I know the blankness in your eyes." Alex said grimly. "I have held you far too many times when the sight has you in its grip. I have been there for far too much of your life not to know."  
  
"Really Alex, what are you doing here? My visions have nothing to do with you, nothing for you to worry about anymore. You saw to that quite well." Sophia told him crisply. "I have no obligation to tell you anything. So forget what you thought you saw."  
  
"Is that so?" he asked his voice lowering dangerously. He knew he shouldn't do it, he knew he couldn't. He knew he would only open the still festering wounds for them both, but what he knew and what he did never went hand and hand when it came to Julia.  
  
Before he realized what was happening his arm slid around her waist and his hand cupped the back of her neck keeping her from moving away from him. Her eyes flashed dangerously and his heart leapt with the knowledge that whatever had happened to her she still had that spark he had always loved. When she opened her mouth to give him the tongue-lashing he knew he deserved, he covered it with his. She beat on his shoulders trying to free her self, but in the end she succumbed to him as she always had before. She couldn't get him out of her heart; she couldn't get him out of her mind and as the kiss wound its way through her she felt the tears falling from her eyes. She still loved him as she could never love anyone else; she had always needed him and always would.  
  
'He will always need you as much as you need him.' A voice whispered in her mind, but she was not ready to accept it.  
  
'Alexander Conlon needs no one,' was her reply to it. 'It would be better to die on this ship than allow him another stab at my heart'  
  
'What a fool you can be.' Was the response.  
  
Her tears had mixed with the kiss breaking his heart at the salty-sweetness of it. He had needed her and wanted her over the years and no woman could replace her, no matter how hard he had tried. Her scent washed over him still of roses, but there was a spicier undertone that reminded him of how she had changed.  
  
"Julia." He breathed as he broke off the kiss, "Julia."  
  
His voice broke at the last ripping at her heart; she kept her eyes closed as she allowed herself to lean against him. Her forehead touched his, their breath mingled and she fought the urge to give into her heart, to give into the voice.  
  
"Are you going to New York Alex?" she asked softly. Her eyes were still closed, tears leaking from behind closed lids. She felt quiet and peaceful, for a moment Alex was shielding her from all her nightmares and problems. For a moment she actually believed that this was what was meant to be. That no matter what happened, her vision all those years ago had been right. It was the feeling of hope that snapped her back into reality and into the knowledge that Alex Conlon was a philanderer and lady's man. Never would he love one woman whole-heartedly, she had to accept that and she would be free.  
  
"No, my ticket was only to Cherbourg." He replied his voice as soft. Her emerald eyes opened on an indrawn breath and for a moment they shined through the glistening of tears. He knew he had made the biggest mistake of his life, in letting her go. His heart was in the words he offered to her, joy in filling his chest for the first time in years. " I can stay if you need me Julia."  
  
"There is no need to stay Alex." She said coolly as she shrugged herself free of him. The momentary joy he had felt dimmed as he looked at her, the light no longer shined out of her eyes. She was reserved and self- contained. He felt the joy dim, the memory of seven years suddenly intruded on them and he felt his heart ache at the trick that had been played on them both. "Really you must move along, Jarrod will be back any moment and dinner is only an hour away, I must see to getting ready."  
  
"Jarrod is it?" Alex's voice was as cold as the early spring wind that blew past her windows. "Are you in love with Jarrod Julia?"  
  
" I have told you before Alex." Sophia said, her voice sighing in bored irritation, her heart dancing at the opening to save him. " My name is no longer Julia, I go by Sophia now, Julia's dead Alex. She died the day you forced me to leave, and there is no resurrecting her."  
  
" Julia is who you are and who you always will be." Alex argued. " No matter how hard you try to forget your past it will always be there."  
  
"Yes, it will haunt me as you did, now leave me Alex, I've finally learned to live without you, and I'm not about to let you play with me a third time." Julia snapped, her anger hiding her pain at what she knew she must do.  
  
Alex struggled with himself to tell her the reasons why he had hurt her so long ago were on the tip of his tongue. He couldn't do it, couldn't put her life in that kind of jeopardy. The reason she stood before him now was because he had done what he needed to do for her.  
  
" I understand." Was all he said quietly. As she watched him unlock the door and slip out the heart she didn't think she had anymore shattered yet again. She knew she had hurt him and instead of feeling satisfaction from it only caused more pain. She blinked back the tears that attempted to fill her eyes once again and called for Ally to come help her dress. Alex had broken her heart far too many times for one lifetime and she would not become the broken mess she had been before.  
  
Once she was immaculately groomed, she slipped from her room to watch Alex leave. She stood on the deck gazing at both the fading sun and the boat train that had come along side the Titanic to unload and load passengers. A tear slipped down her cheek, one soft, warm tear that fell in a slivery line. The darkened figure of a man looked back at her from the other boat. Though she could not see his face, she knew he looked at her, his hair golden in the fading sun and it was to her he raised his hand in farewell. She raised her hand in return, knowing that this would have to be the last time saw him.  
  
"My heart can't take anymore." She whispered to the air, it was fate she spoke to, but fate never listens when it has a plan. She had loved him and he had been both careless and callous with her heart. Never again she had promised herself, never would she give a man that kind of control in her life. It is a promise many make, and one that Sophia would never be able to keep. For in Alex, both her past and future lay whether she wanted it or not. Her denial would only make the future more painful for both of them.  
  
Rae Kelly: Sorry I updated as soon as I was able, hope you enjoy!  
  
Erinkathleen: Nope not done by far. Glad you enjoyed it, I hope you continue to.  
  
Dreamer Conlon: He can't tell her yet! He's not going to die, I promise!!! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
  
Clover6776: I updated, sorry it took me so long. Thank you it's nice to know someone appreciates my work! Yay, me!  
  
Evanescing Dreamer: She is Julia still deep down there, but you have to remember that by changing her name she has protected herself without meaning to. Yes we love Alex for his male pride, but it does get in the way so much sometimes. I hope everything is going well. E-mail me when you have a chance!!  
  
Ershey: Well, I'm not too sure what she's going to do, that's all up to the muses. Well they tried the being locked in a room together and still they haven't worked anything out. Damn it, but the muses are going to force them together before too long, never fear. Well Merry belated Christmas, I didn't know I was giving out any presents, but I'm glad I did. Thank you!  
  
Nevada: Yeah, it got a little confusing, but it was supposed to be. You're not supposed to know what's going on with the main character before they do. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter! Thanks for your support!  
  
Pricilla2: Yay you reviewed!!! I seem to keep picking things that have been done over and over again, but everyone tells me I create a fresh new outlook on it so I suppose it's okay! I think sometimes I go overboard with the details; it makes me happy to know that someone likes that about my work. Thank you for the wonderful compliment!! 


	21. False Hope

Quiet reigned through the ship as the gray light slowly became a dull red. Sophia stared listlessly out at the sea that was as calm as a small pond. Nothing could be seen but water, and while it made most of the passengers marvel, it only filled her with a cold dread. She knew what would happen, but so far none of her warnings had been heeded, not that there was much detail she could give. The last thing she wanted was to be locked up in her room, or the brig, which is what First Mate Murdoch had threatened only last night.  
  
Tears filled her eyes as she looked out on the sunrise, it stained the sky a brilliant red, as bright a crimson as blood. She wondered if this was the sign she had been waiting for. It had been four days since her vision and Alex's departure. They were four long days, perhaps the longest days of her life. Especially since sleep was an elusive thing when such a weight lay on her shoulders. Every morning she had survived to, she sat on the first class deck, huddled under a blanket watching the sunrise chasing away the darkness. Every night as she ascended the stairs she would glance at the clock, with it's graceful carving swirling around the curve of the time piece with dread, and when it's hands passed the time of 12:15 she breathed a breath of relief. That is until she realized that it was just one more day that she would have to get through before the time finally ran out, after all only one vision had not come true.  
  
Gold touched the red as the sun began to peek over the watery horizon; it was a ray of hope that touched her heart as an idea occurred to her. The thought of her first vision with Alex, had reminded her that Alex had been on the ship in her last vision. Perhaps she had found a way to change the disaster she had seen. Perhaps something as simple as Alex departing Titanic had changed the course of events.  
  
While a doubt lingered in her mind, she was too tired to heed it; instead she let the relief and joy fill her. As the tension left her body, the weariness of her sleepless nights crept over her and she briefly flirted with the idea of just closing her eyes right there in the deck, but as an elderly lady passed giving her an appraising glance she thought better of it. There were already rumors floating around that no only was she of loose morals, she was crazy as well.  
  
With a sigh she pushed herself to her feet, taking stock of her appearance for the first time in days. Her dress was wrinkled almost beyond redemption, she could feel the disarray of her once carefully groomed hair, and she was sure she was pale. Nights without sleep often left one with dark circles and a sickly pale complexion. It was no wonder people thought her mad. With a sigh she smiled at the crewmember that held the door open for her and made her way to her room.  
  
For the first time since boarding she appreciated the thick plush carpet that was beneath her feet, and the opulence of her surroundings. She reached for the knob of her room and quietly opened the door, she was thankful for the thick rug as she padded across the room as silently as she was able. She could hear Ally's humming in her room and knew she was pulling her mistress's morning clothing from the wardrobe. Sophia glanced around taking in the beauty of her sitting room and for the first time was thankful she had been given the opportunity to see such magnificence on her maiden voyage, it really was a marvel.  
  
She opened her door and looked inside to see Ally laying out a rich purple gown that was somewhere between lavender and plumb. An amethyst necklace and earrings lay on the dressing table, while a matching comb lay next to her hairbrush and comb. Everything was ready for her return to her cabin, just as it had been the day before, and the one before that. Today, however, she would sleep, there was nothing to fret over, and her fears had evaporated in the morning sun.  
  
"Ally." She spoke softly, knowing she would startle the busy maid. " You may stop laying out my clothing, I won't be dressing for breakfast."  
  
"What will you be doing?" Ally asked as she got over her momentary shock.  
  
"Sleeping." Sophia replied, " I find I need some rest."  
  
"That would be good, miss." Ally said with reproach in her voice. " You haven't been taking care of yourself as well as you should. Nor have you been letting me take care of you."  
  
"Forgive me." Sophia chuckled as Ally moved the dress from the bed to the chair that sat before her vanity table. She stood quietly as she felt Ally's nimble fingers deftly unhook her dress. It slid to the floor and she stepped out of it as Ally turned to the closet for one of her nightgowns. Her eyes followed the dust motes in the sunlight that streamed through her window with the interest of the sleep deprived as Ally loosened her laces and removed her corset. She felt the softness of her silk nightgown slip over her head and across her skin. There was nothing more decedent or comforting than the feel of silk, she mused as Ally released the pins in her hair and gently pushed her toward the bed.  
  
"Now miss, I'll get you a nice cup of tea, and you'll have a nice little nap." Ally told Sophia while she pulled the covers to Sophia's chin.  
  
"Don't worry about the tea, just wake me at noon, and have a bath drawn." Sophia murmured groggily.  
  
"Yes miss." Ally replied as she watched Sophia's eyes droop shut and finally close. The dark circles under her eyes had been worse than Sophia had imagined and it had worried Ally at her mistress's fervent mission, though no one believed a word Sophia spoke about her vision. Instead it had only spread rumors of her addiction to laudanum, which no one really knew the truth about. Jarrod certainly didn't know and in his puppy love he had defended her, which no one believed either. After all men were often blinded by the excess of the women they loved, especially one as young as Jarrod. While he was old enough to be a man by societies standards, his boyish good looks and charm often made people underestimate him. I liked and respected the man, but there would be no help for it, there was only one man for Sophia, only one man that could truly deal with the mess she had made her life into.  
  
Ally slipped from the room leaving Sophia to her dreams. Dreams that were vivid and frightening, dreams of dark water, cold night and a large ship breaking in half. She watched as it slipped beneath the waves like a sharp knife into a ripe peach. Her heart was heavy as she watched both for those that had been left on board and the ship itself. It had been a masterpiece gone to waste by the folly of man. Then there was only darkness, the chill faded, and her mind cleared of the distressing dream. Cleared into a dreamless slumber that would give her strength for the trails to come.  
  
It seemed only minutes later that Ally shook her awake, her disturbing dreams forgotten in the calm that had followed. For a moment she toyed with the idea of just sleeping through the day, but she knew she would have to make an appearance. There was a certain decorum she must follow and that did not include sleeping the day away, especially with the rumors that had been circulating. It was time she made the gossip about her less interesting and acted normal.  
  
Groggily she allowed Ally to lead her into the bathroom and sighed with pleasure as the warm water enveloped her easing the minor aches of sleeping. Wiping the last of the sleep from her eyes she settled down to enjoy her bath for as long as it was warm. Unfortunately Ally wouldn't let her lounge around in the bathtub; instead she was dressed, coifed, and perfumed in time to meet Jarrod for lunch.  
  
She entered the room late, she knew lunch had already begun, and heads turned as she passed by. It seemed as though the room fell silent as it always does when you know everyone is looking at you, and not for good reasons. She raise her chin and ignored them, at least Ally had done an incredible job of dressing her. The dress she had chosen was the first she had worn in years that was not a bold jewel color. The dressmaker had certainly known her job when she had suggested the color, and it had been on a whim that she agreed. The gold tipped hairpins and the delicate golden chain with an equally delicate clock at the end had been brilliant, but that was Ally's job and she was good at it. Jarrod's eyes were appreciative as he stood and moved behind the chair opposite of him so he could pull it out for her.  
  
"Thank you." She murmured as she sat with a grace that had been practiced since childhood and had eventually become instinct.  
  
"You look beautiful Sophie." He told her. " You look like you are feeling better, I assume you have decided your dream was nothing more."  
  
"Yes." Sophia replied though his haughty tone irritated her. He sounded as a father might to a child that keeps insisting a bad dream was real. "Lack of sleep and Alex's sudden appearance seemed to have put me on edge."  
  
Jarrod looked sharply at her at the mention of Alex. There was something in her eyes when she spoke of him. Something that seemed to move within them while her face remained passive.  
  
"What exactly was he to you Sophie?" Jarrod asked with nonchalance that Sophia saw right through.  
  
"He was a childhood friend." Sophia replied her eyes narrowing as Jarrod cut his steak with an air of boredom.  
  
"Was he a lover?" Jarrod questioned, a hint of jealousy actually creeping into his voice. Sophia bit back a smile, in some ways Jarrod was still so naïve and young, and her heart ached at the memory that seven years ago she had been just as young and naïve.  
  
"Yes." Sophia replied truthfully, and was surprised at the flash of anger in Jarrod's eyes.  
  
"Did he see you after the Café Parisian?" Jarrod's voice was becoming angry, and the people that the surrounding tables were beginning to look at them.  
  
"What if he did, Jarrod?" Sophia asked, returning his questioning. " I am what I am, Jarrod, and you can't change that. You knew what I was when you got involved with me, and if I remember correctly that was what attracted me to you. There were no strings attached, you loved the idea of no one pushing you for marriage. I will never devote my life to one person, and one person only."  
  
"I'm sorry." Jarrod whispered, looking away, she could sense the hurt under his words, but she couldn't react to it. Instead, she watched him coolly as he speared another bite, and put it into his mouth chewing mechanically as he looked away. Shaking her head she reached into the purse that had dangled at her side and produced an elegant, ivory cigarette holder. The carvings on it were a fanciful sweeping of swirls. Expertly she fitted a cigarette into it from the matching ivory case and lit it. The laudanum from earlier was beginning to wear off and her irritation was becoming hard to control.  
  
"Jarrod, darling." She said, taking control of herself and laying a hand gently on his. "Don't ruin what time we have, enjoy what we have while we have it."  
  
" What do you mean what time we have?" Jarrod questioned, his eyes rising to hers and she felt her heart catch. She knew that look, that sweet trusting look of a man in love. She forced herself not to look away, not to bow under the weight of his emotions. She had handled lovesick boys before.  
  
'But this is no boy.' A voice whispered in her head. 'How do you handle the man that loves you when your heart is still trapped by another?'  
  
"How long can this last Jarrod?" she asked her eyes soft with regret. " We are of two different worlds, though I may move within yours I can never be a part of it."  
  
"But you were a part of it Sophia, at one time." Jarrod responded.  
  
"Yes one at one time I was, but I have made my choices and I can not go back." Sophia replied. " My choices have left the doors shut forever on polite society in the manner of which you speak. You do not think I can waltz back into society, you can not possibly believe that by making our relationship permanent you will erase all that has gone before. You know that you and your family would be ridiculed. Enjoy what we have while we have it until you find some sweet debutant that your parents want you to marry and marry her with all the pomp that is required of you. Now if you will excuse me I must get a breath of fresh air."  
  
Before he could open his mouth, she was walking away trailing a line of cigarette smoke as assuredly as the engines were steaming smoke into the air just outside the room in which he now sat. He ignored the stares of those around him and continued eating his meal. For the past six months he had tried to get beyond the walls she had built up, but it was no use. She was a courtesan, a woman up for the highest price he reminded himself, just as he had for the past few months. At first that is all she had been, a woman that had been his without all the complications of marriage, but that had all changed.  
  
At first he wouldn't have even called her beautiful, so much as intriguing. Her skin was darker than fashion expected; her hair black as the midnight sky and her eyes a vivid contrasting green. Her body was not sylph like instead it curved in all the places she was supposed to. He knew that the women around him were trying to achieve the same curves by binding their waists tightly. They were forcing the hourglass she already had and he had never seen her corset cinched to an uncomfortable degree. Still he doubted she reached the perfect 16 inches most women were looking for. Her while her clothing was of a fashionable cut, all of it was of dark rich colors. Glancing around him he saw the room was a sea of creams and pastels. Even the gold dress she had worn to lunch, while lighter by far than any other she had worn in his presence was a dark rich gold. She was as flashy as the gypsies she claimed heritage from, and as mysterious. At the same time she was intelligent, well read, well versed, and witty. It was an intoxicating combination.  
  
He had desired her from the start, as had nearly ever man in the room, but he had gotten her. He had charmed and flattered her for only a night that had turned into days, and days that had turned into months. Now he couldn't see his life without her, he found the small thing had paled her bigger assets, and her flaws. There was pain under her tough exterior, demons she fought that he couldn't help mostly because she wouldn't let him. There was a place in her he could never reach, though he had tried. He leaned back and closed his eyes as his mind flew back to the day they had left Europe. To the day he had first seen Alexander Conlon.  
  
He knew the man's name well, he remembered him from the past. He had been first introduced to him at Julia Dubois birthday party. Mrs. Vanderbilt- Belmont had hosted it and that had been the only reason he had attended. Julia Dubois had a reputation of thumbing her nose at society and had made herself an outcast. Luckily for her she had a strong friendship with one of the most influential women in New York and her father had been the Mayor. He had only seen her a few times and had ignored her in favor of more genteel company. Still he remembered Alex mostly due to his reputation as a hard as nails businessman that had risen from the streets to grace the parlors of the rich.  
  
In the few minutes he had seen Sophia with Alex he had seen a different person. Gone had been the quiet, cool masks. Replaced by a passion that had brought a rosy color to her cheeks and a light that had never been in her eye before. The glitter in her eyes was one of a woman scorned, but he had no doubt that Alex still had some kind of hold on her. He wondered if this had been the man that had hurt her, for he was no fool and knew that her skittishness with emotion had to have come from somewhere.  
  
"Are you done sir?" The inquiring waiter broke him from his thoughts and he looked down at his half eaten plate for a moment before realizing he was not hungry.  
  
"Yes, thank you." Jarrod replied waiving his hand at the plate in a gesture of dismissal. Quickly he wiped his mouth with the napkin that had been on his lap and laid it on the table before standing and leaving the Veranda. He could see her staring out at the vast and seeming endless stretch of water as he exited outside. She looked so far away, so lost, and he longed to comfort her, but it would be no use. She would not accept comfort from him. Turning the other way he started out for something to take his mind off his musings.  
  
Sophia leaned against the railing, glancing out at the ocean; out of the corner of her eye she had seen Jarrod, and her fervent prayers had been answered. He had started out in the opposite direction. She knew he had come to care for her, but she had no idea he was starting to fall for her. After her last encounter Jarrod had seemed so safe, so familiar. She had slipped into his life with ease and had truly enjoyed his company.  
  
What if she did accept his love? She could never love him as deeply as she had loved Alex, but she did respect and care for him. Her heart pounded as she thought of what she had always shied away from. Marriages had been started with less and she knew that Jarrod wanted forever. Could she promise forever, could she live without the passion and the fire that had been so a part of her relationship with Alex? Could she let Jarrod into her heart knowing that it would be a pale shadow of what she could have had with Alex? She closed her eyes as she remembered the last time she had seen Alex, of the way her heart had leapt at the sight of him, of his smell, and the way his kiss had made her feel.  
  
Was she fated to live the rest of her life alone because she couldn't have Alex, was she to spend night after night in a cold bed pretending emotions she didn't feel? For the first time in years she had felt a steady affection for Jarrod, should she deny herself happiness because of a prediction she had made that hadn't come true?  
  
Turning away from the ocean she started inside, her arms already becoming cold in the afternoon light. She entered the Veranda and walked swiftly past the tables. Just outside she paused; the clock read twenty 'till two and Captain Smith stood with Mr. Ismay, the ship's owner, a slip of paper in his hand.  
  
"There are iceberg warnings coming in from every ship near enough to send a signal." Captain Smith was saying as he handed Mr. Ismay the slip of paper. " Perhaps we should slow the ship down."  
  
"I don't think that will be necessary E.J." Mr. Ismay replied placing the paper in his pocket as if it was of no consequence. "Any icebergs large enough to sink this ship we would see in plenty of time don't you think? I'd rather see us arrive ahead of schedule in New York. Not only is Titanic the most luxurious ship ever to sail, but imagine her as the fastest."  
  
"Forgive me, but my concern is not for the publicity of the White Star lines Mr. Ismay, rather the safety of my ship, it's passengers, and my crew." Captain Smith said stiffly, Mr. Ismay's face spread into a cold smile.  
  
"Yes Captian Smith, whatever you deem appropriate, but there is the matter of the boat in South Hampton that you nearly caused a collision with before we could ever leave the harbor. Wasn't there an actual collision when you captained the Olympic? It would be horrible for an investigation to start now E.J. Especially with your retirement at the end of this trip, wouldn't you like to end your career on an illustrious note, or................."  
  
She watched as the Captain stared at Ismay for a few minutes before nodding in understanding. Ismay glanced at her and she knew very well the promises in his eyes if she didn't keep her silence. The Captian looked at her for a moment a glimmer of fear in his eyes and she felt familiar icy fingers run down her back. She knew at that moment the ship would sink, and there had never been anything she could do to stop it. Tears gathered in her eyes as she made her way up the stairs and past the two men that had just sealed the fate of everyone on board.  
  
Ershey: I did say they'd get together eventually right? Sorry it will be a little while before they do. So a little more suspense. Still it will just make it better when it happens right?  
  
Clover6776: I'm not sure I could do what Julia does either. I suppose though after being devastated by Alex twice now she's not too interested in seeing how much he loves her. I hope you continue to love it!  
  
Rumor: Deliciously angsty? I love it! Yeah Jarrod's clueless, but he's been pretty sheltered for most of his life so we'll over look it shall we? The visions bit seemed to fit perfectly here. Poor Julia her life has been so turned upside down by Alex I don't think she knows which way is up. Do you honestly think I could send Alex away for good? I think I'm liking the addition of Morgan, he's a deliciously evil character, which can be so much fun to work with. I gave you your whip back, not too sure if that was a good idea, but hey, we'll see. Love ya Grams.  
  
J.P. Hello doll whatcha up to? Hee hee hee, I'm horrible I know, I haven't called you back, but life hit the crazy switch, March 17 is looming closer and closer. Danny is a wiz at grammer and spelling. Not to mention math, isn't that wrong? It so isn't fair to all of us right brained people that he has access to his left side too. He's my human calculator. You did an awesome job editing, it just gives me a little one on one time with Dan. It's nice, I curl up next to him and he edits. We get to go over together how to possibly reword something. I really enjoy that time. It's also really nice to see what I'm doing wrong as he's going over it, makes it easier to correct it. Love you honey, I hope you're doing well!  
  
Nevada: Thank you for the confidence booster, I hope you enjoyed this one as well.  
  
Fiffifofum: (chuckles) Well I certainly try to have plots and characters. After all there isn't much story without them. In all seriousness, thank you very much for your praise, it really means a lot!! I think you actually have me blushing. It's too bad you don't read the POTC fandom, since I've incorporated Hourglass into that one, I'd really like to know if it stands up with the rest of my work. Still I understand there are many here that don't. I hope I don't disappoint you and continue to write stories that you enjoy!  
  
Dreamer: I totally understand the need to have a little individuality. It certainly makes sense. I don't know how many chapters are left, quite a few more before I can fully wrap everything up. TTH was just over 30, I think I'll top it with this one. I'll send you the next DTD chapter; Dan and I are going to go over it tonight. I'm not going to turn down two editings that will only make it better right? Here's more, I'll see what I can do about getting more out soon! 


	22. It has come to pass

A big thank you goes out to Melissa, thank you honey for editing this at Starbucks, on your laptop, during a Celtic festival. Without you it would have taken far longer to kick Dan's butt in gear to edit. Thanks again!

Sophia passed the two men silently, her eyes directly ahead of her, her mind turning circles. She forced her breathing to be slow and steady as she turned into the hall. The little exchange between the two men had said it all. She felt rage well up inside her at the man who had just condemned more than half of the ship to death.  
  
She found herself at the door to her room tears in her eyes, as there was no other way to express her anger and frustration. She knew no one would listen to her, she knew she could not save these people, and as before in her life, she felt the helplessness overwhelm her. Unable to decide what else to do, she entered her room shutting the door behind her, pure silence assailing her ears. Ally was not in the rooms, she was alone, and the only sound was from the fire crackling gaily in the fireplace. Glancing into the mirror above the fireplace she found herself pale, but her eyes flashing with anger.  
  
"Why?" she asked herself, but she knew there would be no answer. "Why was I given this gift when I can do nothing with it? What is the purpose of torturing me with visions of things that I cannot change?"  
  
A crystal vase caught in the sunlight casting rainbows on the ceiling in a seeming mockery of her anger and pain. The rage seemed to all come to a head and was entirely focused on the vase. With a snarl she swiped at the vase sending it flying and into the wooden paneling of the room. It shattered in a cascade of ice chips and left a dent in the wood. The roses that had been placed in it only that morning lay scattered on the floor and water marred the expensive carpeting.  
  
It was all a matter of time before the ship would sink and there was nothing she could do, no one she could save.  
  
"But you did save Alex." A voice whispered in her mind and in her heart she knew it to be true.  
  
"But I will not save Jarrod." She whispered back staring blindly ahead. Her eyes focused on the roses that lay strewn across the carpet, like the people who would be strewn in the sea. "He will die too proud to get into the life rafts with the other men who will ignore the code of the sea. Women from third class will die, while men of first class will watch from afar as the ship sinks."  
  
"You can not save them both Julia." The ghostly voice whispered. "It is the way it must be."  
  
"If it were not for my wishes he would not be on this ship." Sophia cried. "It is my fault, it is all my fault."  
  
Glancing up into the mirror she saw her pupils were dilated and she could hear her own shallow breath.  
  
"Fate guides us all where we are needed." She heard the voice come again; it was familiar, her conscious, the part of her that knew the truth. "Fate is merely the hand of God that places us in the path we are to follow. This was his path, he lived his life well."  
  
"But he is so young, with so much life left to live." Sophia argued. "And he is such a good man, why him? I deserve it far more than he."  
  
"Perhaps you do, but you have more things left to do in your life." The voice said, the force in it telling her not to question what was to be any longer. Tears filled her eyes as she remembered the cold watery death of her visions, had it been Jarrod's death she was feeling? "We all have our crosses to bear."  
  
"It is not right." She sobbed. "I loved him in my own way, perhaps not as I have loved Alex, but he tried to make me happy."  
  
"Miss?" Ally's voice came breaking both her trance and her internal conversation. "What was that?"  
  
"What was what?" she questioned an icy chill crawling up her back. Ally's face was white as snow; her hand trembled as she pointed next to where Sophia stood.  
  
"What did you see?" Sophia asked calmly her eyes so intent it made Ally nervous.  
  
"Something, I don't know what, something white." Ally stuttered, then with great difficulty and aided by Sophia's censorious look she pulled herself together. "It must have been the glare from the window. Forgive me for frightening you."  
  
"It's quite alright Ally." Sophia said with dignity, though a chill ran down her spine yet again. So, it was a spirit that had spoken to her. She wondered how many times in her life, when she had heard the voice she thought to be her conscious, and it was really something else? Was this just another addition to her gift? Glancing around, she realized the sun was no longer warm and strong; instead, it was the pale weak light of the setting sun. How much time had passed during her brief conversation?  
  
Taking a quick look at the clock, she was shocked to find it nearing dinnertime. The sun was fading from the sky, changing to a deep blue shot with gold.  
  
"I will need to dress for dinner soon." Sophia said softly and distractedly, her eyes thoughtful as she looked at the spot where the spirit had been seen.  
  
"Yes, of course, miss." Ally replied as she turned with the clothing she had just returned from the launders with. "I just fetched your dress for tonight, I'm afraid it needed some ironing."  
  
She saw Ally glance at the floor behind Sophia and saw the shards of glass, but well used to her mistress' temper, she said nothing. She knew the glimmer in Sophia's eyes and had rightly guessed who had broken the vase. Although, she felt another stab of fear as she thought of the filmy white sphere that had floated just above the broken glass, like a genie released from its lamp. There was no such thing as ghosts, she told herself sharply, as she turned the doorknob of Sophia's room.  
  
"Which dress did you chose for tonight?" Sophia asked following her into her room.  
  
"Your favorite one." Ally responded, as she hung the dress from the wardrobe with the front of it facing the door. "You haven't worn it yet."  
  
Sophia glanced at the graceful fall of black lace, that she knew had been cut up the center to show the vibrant, ruby colored silk under dress. The shoulder straps were mere strands of jet beads that fell in a reversed arch down her arm. She watched as Ally turned it over and look horrified at the large spot that marred the front of the gown.  
  
"I told them not to use water." Ally chocked both fearfully and angrily. Sophia glanced at the dress mildly. She might have been angry had she not had more important things on her mind. At the moment, the water stain on the front of her favorite dress was the least of her concerns.  
  
"Put it in the wardrobe, there must be something else for me to wear." Sophia replied waving her hand with impatience as she sat down at her dressing table. Anger still made her eyes brighter than normal and color ride high in her cheeks.  
  
"There are no other dresses pressed." Ally said in a horrified manner.  
  
"What do you mean there are no other dresses pressed?" Sophia repeated her anger finding a new outlet. "I must have brought enough dresses into this room to cloth half of the ship and I have no dress to wear? What good are you?"  
  
"If you hadn't been so picky about your wardrobe, I wouldn't be in this position. I had the silver dress pressed only yesterday, but you told me to put it away. You refused to wear it." Ally snapped back, her own temper frayed in the sinking feeling she was about to get sacked. "As of now, it is the only dress left to wear and you can dress yourself for all I care. No appreciation, none what so ever, for all my hard work."  
  
The last was said in a mutter as she whirled around to slam the wardrobe door shut before spinning to leave. She stopped short when she glanced at Sophia. Sophia's face was waxy in its paleness and the hand that had been raised in a gesture of anger was shaking.  
  
"Miss Sophia, what is it?" Ally asked the chill coming up her spine again, as she thought of what she had seen only moments before in the sitting room.  
  
"It's tonight." Came Sophia's voice quite and fearful, she remained staring in the distance, her eyes unfocused and frightened. It lasted only a moment, before she seemed to snap back into herself, and turned her attention on Ally with the determination of a soldier going into battle. "Get out the silver dress and all the proper accessories, then as I meet Jarrod for dinner I want you to take every bit of jewelry I possess and put it in the pockets of my mink coat and your coat. Sew the pockets shut, then dress in your warmest clothing. Dress in wool stockings, extra petticoats and two coats. Meet me at the clock at 12:15 sharp. Do you understand me? Your life depends on you following my instructions."  
  
Ally nodded in understanding as she turned to find the dress and the proper accompaniments for it. She laid out the diamond chandelier earrings; the diamond chocker that fell in graceful curves down Sophia's throat to her collarbone, and the matching bracelet. Sophia rose and allowed Ally to help her into the dress, not even glancing in the mirror to see if it fell right.  
  
The dress was hateful to her, a dress she wished she had never allowed Jarrod to order. Still it was the only dress he had picked for her in Paris and she supposed it would be fitting for her to wear it on his last night alive. Her heart was heavy as she watched in the mirror of her vanity as Ally dressed the heavy coils of her hair. Placing paste diamond hairpins in possibly the most beautiful hairstyle she had ever produced.  
  
She surveyed herself in the mirror, as Ally fastened the necklace around her throat and found she had never looked better. Apropos really, she would be stunning tonight, she would even turn heads, but it would not be Sophia people remembered about this night. It would be the horrible tragedy that was to happen shortly and Sophia was powerless to stop it.  
  
"Remember what I told you." Sophia said, as she turned to leave the suite for the last time. "I may sound mad now, but later this evening, you will thank me for it."  
  
Ally said nothing, but nodded again. Sophia had yet to be wrong when she got these feelings. Perhaps all her ravings had been an actual vision as she claimed. They certainly had whispered enough about her when she had lived with her father. The servants would often flick the sign against the evil eye when no one was looking. Some even had gone so far as to say she was possessed. Ally had always thought she was just a lonely girl looking for a bit of attention, perhaps, she had been wrong. She watched Sophia leave the room; her head held regal and high, her dress simple yet stunning. Somewhere, the feeling that she would never forget this night, weighed on her mind. Silently, she turned to do as she had been asked.  
  
Sophia moved from her rooms, her heart heavy. With practiced ease, she smiled charmingly at the knot of men that made their way past her. They were all young, and admired her appreciatively, with the look of young men who are used to getting everything they ever wanted. That was the difference between the upper class and Alex, she mused. Alex had never been given what he wanted; instead, he had taken it. It gave him a power that was intoxicating.  
  
She entered the ballroom to find Jarrod, he was nowhere to be found. Not very hungry, she wondered through out the room, nodding at those who would actually acknowledge her. Finally, as people seated themselves and dinner looked as though it was about the start, she headed for the deck.  
  
The cold air hit her making her shiver, but her mind was not on the cold. Instead, she looked out at the water, where the moonlight shimmered like quicksilver. She wondered where Jarrod was; perhaps it was better this way though. Perhaps Fate was sheltering her a little from what was to happen, and had allowed her the respite of having to say goodbye. Or perhaps it was just malice, for how could she morn, if she never got to say goodbye? Then again, what right had she to morn him, she who had spurned his love, and hurt him? She really couldn't count herself any better than Alex.  
  
"It would do you well to keep your mouth shut." Came a threatening voice from the shadows. For a moment, her blood froze in fear that perhaps Morgan had managed to make his way on board Titanic. He certainly had the money for such things, though, she had thought she had hidden her trail well. Slowly, she turned to face the man who spoke to her. Instead of the nightmare she had envisioned, she found Bruce Ismay. He stepped into the light and surveyed her with a gleam in his eyes she didn't like.  
  
"Keep my mouth shut about what?" Sophia asked, turning and leaning back against the railing nonchalantly.  
  
"My conversation with the Captain earlier." Ismay replied, his aristocratic face drawn into a look that was both menacing and intimidated all in one. Quite a feat if Sophia didn't say so herself. She just smiled, as he took a drag off his cigarette, waiting for an answer.  
  
"And whom would I tell?" Sophia queried. "What difference would it make; you've doomed the life of many on board, and nothing I will say can change that."  
  
"So, you still are prophesizing doom and gloom for my ship." Ismay chuckled. "This ship is unsinkable."  
  
"To believe that is to be an idiot, and you don't strike me as the idiot type." Sophia returned. "Every ship is sinkable and to say so is to tempt fate. I will give you this prophecy then, the captain and most of the crew will not survive this night, but you will. You will be coward enough to climb into a raft, leaving women and children to die. Your company will be ruined, all because of the choices you made here tonight, not from anything I have or will ever say."  
  
He moved toward her with a swiftness and menace she had not counted on. His eyes glimmered in the light that shined from the windows behind them.  
  
"Is that a threat?" he hissed, his hand holding her upper arm in a painfully tight grip.  
  
"Call it a warning." Sophia replied coolly. "Now, it would be in your best interest to let me go before I start screaming."  
  
"They'll think your mad." He sneered.  
  
"I have no worries, they already do." She snapped. "But before tonight's over, they will know I spoke the truth and they were the foolish ones."  
  
He let her go roughly, and she fought the urge to rub spot he had gripped hard enough to bruise. She looked at him steadily, and he returned her look for a moment. He must have seen something in her eyes, for a panicked gleam came into his, before he wheeled about and left.  
  
She closed her eyes for a moment, breathing in the cold clean air, before moving to the rail. Her hands closed upon it and she looked out at the water; so calm it looked as though they were moving through a mirror of black obsidian. Her breath came in gasps of silvery air. It was cold, she wondered glancing back at the ballroom, how many of the women would actually be smart enough to dress warmly. She wondered how many of the women would survive. It would be the third class that would really have the casualties. Though, perhaps that was for the best. The third class's income came from the patriarch of the family and there were only so many jobs for the women. If the men died, that would leave the families without a means of support. Still a loss of life was a loss of life and nothing would ever make it right.  
  
It struck her suddenly, that she too might not survive this night. She marveled at the realization she had always assumed she would live, but if circumstances prevented that, there was nothing she could do. Her mind flew back to her visions and she realized they had never shown her what would happen in the end. She shivered, as she remembered the quite and the eeriness of the underwater vision. Then again, she had also seen the ship break before it sunk. Which would she see in reality?  
  
Looking behind her, she saw the gaily-lit room and the couples dining as they chatted and laughed blissfully unaware of what was to come. Tonight, she did not feel like putting on her mask and joining them. Instead, she would spend some solitary time in library. The Captain passed her, obviously on his way to the bridge. She shook her head and turned for the reading and writing room. There was nothing she could do. Fate, it seemed, had a hold on the coming events, that she could not break. She wasn't foolish enough to try again.  
  
She stopped one of the passing crew and sent them to get a book from Ally. It was quiet where she sat; thankful for it, she sat gazing out at the blackness beyond the window. Possibly, it was the silence or the lack of sleep, but her eyes drifted shut. It seemed as though she closed them for a moment, and opened them again within a room she did not know. Its walls were paneled with dark wood, and upholstered in shades of deep blue and gold. A desk sat in the corner, with its back to the windows that lined the wall; winged back chairs sat before a majestic fireplace, and sitting in one of these chairs, was the man who had broken her heart.  
  
"Alex." She whispered, to her surprise he stirred and opened one eye blurrily. The other eye popped open and he looked at her with a shock that matched her own.  
  
"Julia?" he muttered rubbing his eyes. "It's not possible, you're on Titanic."  
  
"I am." She responded, as he sat up and looked at her expectantly. She did not know what to say.  
  
"Then, how can you be here?" he asked, looking at her with the confusion common of those not entirely awake. Had he been fully coherent, she doubted he would be reacting as calmly as he was.  
  
"I don't know." She whispered, "Perchance, it is all a dream."  
  
"Possibly." He said, nodding in agreement at her plausible explanation. "In that case, I love you Julia, I have always loved you."  
  
"Don't say such things." She responded, looking stung and she had to blink back tears. "You don't know what love is Alex, don't profane such a beautiful thing."  
  
"I had to do what I did, I had to hurt you so you wouldn't come back. I had to protect you." He pleaded.  
  
"I am sure you've come up with many excuses over the years." She replied in anger." I refuse to listen to any more of your lies Alex. Goodbye."  
  
As she said the last, she stamped her foot and the world seemed to shake. Opening her eyes, she found herself sitting in the chair. The man she had sent to find her book was standing next to her, with a frightened look on his face.  
  
"What is it?" she asked, sitting bold upright.  
  
"Nothing I am sure Miss, the engines must have just shuddered." He told her soothingly, she watched as he walked away, her book still in his hands and she knew that the worst had finally come to pass.Rumor: Just a little too obvious there Grams. Cassandra, he, he, actually I just finished Firebrand by Marion Zimmer Bradley awesome, its about Troy and Cassandra is the main character. Anyway you seem to be the only one that caught the Jarrod/Julia connection. I thought it was rather clever, I am still toying with the idea of whether or not he should know. No more nights until NYC, Titanic of course will never dock. Poor Jules. Well it took a while, but I have another chapter waiting for good old Dan to edit. Hope to get it up soon. Thanks for the review.  
  
Dreamer: I am still planning on Dee and Jack's story, but I've got to finish this one first. That was my rule. Well actually that was the muses rule, they're getting too used to vacation again. As for the turn out of her visions am as much at the mercy of my muses as you are.  
  
Rae Kelly: It was as soon as I could get it up. Thank you!  
  
Fiffifofum: I was pretty excited when I opened up my e-mail and there was a review from you! Yeah I am so glad you liked it. Next chapter I'll write the sinking, it will be an big undertaking, I'm beginning to see the issues the writers of Titanic must have faced. Sorry it's been so long between updates, but here it is!  
  
Clover6776: I updated again! Thank you!  
  
Pricilla2: You love it, that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Thank you! Wow what a compliment again I don't know what else to say other than thank you!  
  
Tiger17: It's amazing how stories do that isn't it? I look back on the beginning of this and am amazed at how far from the original story I had planned this has gone. As for Julia, we'll see where she goes. Thank you for your compliments!  
  
Zee: You're back! I missed you, it's so nice to get a review from you! ( Does returning reviewer dance) I am so glad you are still enjoying my work! I thought I had lost you. I can't wait for your next review and thank you! 


	23. The Sinking

All she could do was watch the steward leave, and even after he had left she stared at the spot he had last been in. Now was the time for action and she found herself panicking. Her breath came in gasps; her chest felt tight, tears formed in her eyes and her mind felt as though it were paralyzed. A roaring sound reached her ears and she frantically thought of Alex.

"I love you." He had said in that brief moment they had shared. She had no doubts; she knew she had seen him, and she had spoken with him. Her only regret was if this she died this night that he did not know she still loved him as strongly as she had from the moment she had met him. Only death would ever end her love, no matter how hard she had run from it.

"Sophia." Jarrod's voice broke into her thoughts and brought her out of her panicked state. Looking at him, her eyes wide and frightened, she saw something pass within his. For a moment she would have bet her soul she had seen fear in his eyes.

"Jarrod." She returned softly. "It has come to pass."

"What are you talking about?" His voice sounded breathless and she saw that flicker again.

"The ship will sink before the sun rises." She told him, knowing now he must believe her. "We must find a way off this ship."

"I don't know what you are talking of." Jarrod replied, scorn creeping into his voice as he shook his head. "How many times must we go over this Sophia? This ship will dock in New York. You visions you claim were nothing more than laudanum induced nightmares."

"Jarrod, look at me." She took his hands in both of hers, her eyes pleading with him to understand, to listen to her. "I am not who you think I am. The stories I've told you about my life have been half truths, if not all out lies."

"I know that Sophie." He replied his eyes searching hers for a moment before flicking away. "I have not asked you any questions."

"Just listen Jarrod." Sophia told him. "You knew me before we became lovers, though I did not go by the name you know now. My given name is Julia Alessandra Baronoff Dubois. My father was the mayor of New York. You must remember the rumors that were spread about me. Some were true and some were lies, but the fact that I was born with visions is true. The reasons my father kept me from society were mostly true. I can see things Jarrod, I know things, and I am telling you right now this ship is going to sink."

He jerked his hand free of her and looked at her as though she were crazy. She saw a light of comprehension in his eyes though. She also saw the same fear that had darkened her fathers.

"I loved you Sophia." He whispered as he backed away. "I did not understand, that you were mad."

"You say you love me and yet you back away from me as if I were possessed." She said calmly not letting him see the hurt. "I have done nothing to receive this gift, though it is far more a curse than a gift."

"Such gifts do not come from God." He said, a coldness creeping into his voice that chilled her to the bone. "If this ship sinks tonight it will be your doing. Such gifts are only given to the damned and used to make good Christians stray."

"Then tell me what the prophets were." Sophia snapped. "My father shared your thoughts and I left. I left for his fear of me and my love for Alexander Conlon."

"You loved him?" Jarrod's voice was a sneer. "You left wealth and comfort for a man that was no more than a worthless street rat."

"As a child yes, and I grew up on the streets with him, Jarrod." I fairly spat his name as I said it. "When my father found I was alive he brought me to his home. I admire a man who has made something of himself; a man who has worked for his riches with his own sweat and blood. Not a soft spoiled man who has been given everything he has ever wanted from the moment of his birth. I thought you were different Jarrod, different from all the other men that I knew as a young girl. I see now I was wrong."

She did not listen to what he had left to say. Instead she whirled away and stared toward the staircase. She must make it to the dining room floor; Ally was waiting for her there. It seemed an endless stretch of stairs as she struggled to hurry. Minutes were ticking by like hours and the ship had been roused during her argument with Jarrod. Finally she reached her destination.

Glancing about, she saw people on the landing below standing in heavy coats chatting and glancing at the ships crew that scurried about like ants, avoiding eye contact with the passengers. A few trickled through the crowd, passing out life vests to those that did not wear them. She saw some refuse them and shook her head. What was wrong with them, they were going to need them. From the whispers around the ship had struck an iceberg. Couldn't they understand the danger they were in? She glanced up the stairs to the clock, the cherub looked back at her from where they were carved. She felt her breath catch as she saw the clock read 12:15. Strains of the ships band drifted up to her, they were playing a lively ragtime tune.

Goosebumps broke out across her arms and her heart thundered in her chest. The shear sleeves were doing little to warm her chilled flesh. Her mind boggled over the oddity of everything for a moment before she felt a hand on her arm. She turned, the sparkle of her diamond bracelet winking in the light.

"You'll catch your death." Ally told her as she held out her mink coat. She smiled tensely as Ally slipped it over her arms. Instantly she began to warm. "Here the stewards are passing them out. With your earlier warnings I thought it best we take them."

Ally looked worried as she handed Sophia a life vest. Glancing to her right she saw Madeline Astor, who wore a dress that attempted to hide her pregnancy, but didn't quite manage it, look worriedly to her husband. J.J. Astor patted her hand soothingly. For the most part only Ally and Sophia were worried. Looking about she quickly buckled the snaps over her coat, despite it's irritating bulk.

She found her mind was clear and for the first time in years she seemed wide-awake. Her heart raced as she looked around yet again. She felt like screaming. Everyone's lives were in the balance and they stood chatting as though it were nothing.

Turning, she headed up the stairs intending to find someone who would help her start loading the lifeboats. The sooner they began, the more lives would be spared. She looked at the nearest steward; his eyes were glassy like one of those people who has had a bad shock and has no idea what to do.

"What is it?" she asked him quietly, knowing he was looking his death in the eye and there was only comfort she could offer him. "It is alright tell me."

He seemed to snap out of his trance and looked at her for a moment in absolute horror. She felt the hair on the back of her neck rise, despite the fact she knew what he would say.

"The ship is going down." He told her, "Find a life raft as soon as possible."

With those words he started off, leaving her behind panic clawing at her throat in an effort to scream. She hadn't realized when she had coaxed him to speak, that she had needed to hear those words as much as he had needed to say them. She closed her eyes fighting for control, and turned only to find Ally right behind her, finishing the motions of the sign of the cross.

"Do I frighten you now?" Sophia snapped, her temper frayed at the frustration she had been forced to continue feeling.

"You do not frighten me Miss Sophia." Ally replied. "My family is Irish. I know of the sight. Some of my family members have had it, it is the idea of our lives in danger that I am praying for."

"At least one of us is still praying." Sophia muttered. "I stopped praying years ago."

"That is a pity." Ally said simply.

"There aren't enough life rafts for everyone." She heard a male voice say, glancing around she saw two men hurrying past, the captain among them. "Only enough for half and probably not even that many. We can't have panic, we will get as many off this ship as soon as possible, but just incase, lock the gates for third class until we are ready to let them up, the lower levels will flood first and cause them to panic. We can't have a riot here, order must be kept."

Tears filled her eyes as she thought of the women, children, and men that would loose their lives in the sinking. She was caught. Should she attempt to help them or should she save herself? In her heart she knew she could never live with herself if she did not at least try to do something.

"Ally find a life raft, I'll meet you in New York." She ordered turning and pushing her way through the crowd.

"No Miss Sophia, I have everything, you don't need to go back." Ally protested.

"Don't you understand what that man just said?" Sophia cried. "At least half the people on this ship are going to die and they will be locked below terrified as the water creeps higher and higher."

"I can't let ya kill yourself." Ally objected. "I promised."

That stopped Sophia dead; slowly she turned back to Ally. The question was in her eyes and she knew that Sophia wouldn't take anything less than the truth.

"Promised who Ally?" Sophia asked quietly, but with authority. Ally looked away hoping that if she wasn't looking at her mistress, Sophia might let it go. It was a vain hope.

"Miss Kat." She whispered almost inaudibly. In the crowd of people beginning to stream past them Sophia couldn't hear.

"Who was that?" Sophia queried sharply, taking her maid's shoulders in her hands and shaking her a bit.

"Miss Kat," Ally replied unwillingly. Sophia narrowed her eyes, there was only one Kat she knew.

"Kat Conlon?" she pressed

"Kat Gianni." Ally whispered.

"Kat Conlon." She confirmed. "So you've been reporting to her have you. It seems this is a night for secrets to be revealed. And all this time I thought you were loyal to me."

"Oh I am loyal Miss Sophia." Ally assured her. "Please don't be angry now. She's worried about you. She wanted to protect you, as she hadn't the last time you left her."

"For now I'll leave it, but when we get to New York, we'll talk." Sophia decided, now was not the time or place to contemplate such things. "I'll see you there."

"You can't possibly still be planning on going back down." Ally cried, frustrated anew.

"She's not." A male voice spoke up. Sophia turned to see Jarrod looking down at her from the top step. They remained frozen that way, the clock framed behind him, the glittering people behind her.

"Jarrod." Sophia said tentatively, he moved a few more steps down. He looked so handsome standing there, his dark hair shining in the light, his suite perfectly tailored. He held himself like a king, and Sophia found herself admiring him as she had admired the ship. He was yet another work of art that would be lost.

"But all those people........" Sophia began.

"Get on the life raft, I will see what I can do." He told her, coming a few more steps down the stairs. "I know I will not live to see tomorrow Sophia, I will not let women and children die while I live."

Sophia bowed her head, as she had known all along that this is what would happen. Tears came surprisingly to her eyes. She felt a gentle pair of fingers push her chin up, forcing her to look into his eyes.

"I love you Sophie." He whispered at peace with the idea of his death. "I'll never see you again and I want you to know right now that I love you. If I had lived past this night I would have married you. My word earlier were spoken in fear, jealously, and shock, forgive me."

"Of course." Sophia whispered, looking down for a moment she schooled her expression. With all the acting ability she had she softened her eyes and offered him what he wanted to hear. "I love you."

She found his arms around her, tears in his own eyes as he pulled her close and kissed her. It was a bittersweet gesture as their tears mixed together.

"I can die a happy man." He told her, his voice light, but she knew he forced that tone, just as she had forced those words. He released her and turned to Ally. "Keep her safe, make sure she reaches New York."

Ally blinked back her own tears and took Sophia's arm. Together they started for the boats. Turning back, Sophia saw Jarrod leaning against the rail, his hands resting comfortably in his jacket pockets, his head tilted to the side as he watched her go. She blew him a kiss and knew that for the rest of her life whenever she thought of this night, she would remember Jarrod that way.

The tears turned to ice once they were outside in the cold air. Women and children were crying and reaching for the men that remained on the deck watching their loved ones lowered down. You could almost smell the terror and the sorrow on the wind. The wind was bitingly cold and looking across the glassy black water, Sophia knew that it was colder.

They got into a lifeboat with Madeline Ashton, who was sobbing quietly as she watched her husband disappear. The two crew men on board began rowing as soon as they reached the water, but the women on board paid no attention. Glancing back at the ship she watched as it's lights became smaller and smaller. Soft sobs surrounded her and Sophia could only be thankful that Alex was not on board. A small light lit in her soul, there were so many she could not save, but she had been given Alex.

It was as bittersweet as her kiss with Jarrod. She felt both guilty and glad, they should have both been on board, instead, they had both been spared. Silence surrounded them as they reached what was judged a safe distance from the ship. All attention now was on the ship as it continued to sink lower and lower into the obsidian mirror that was the ocean.

Eventually the ship groaned and began sinking faster. They watched in horror as the ship raised in air, a gigantic monster slipping back into the sea. Gasps came out in white wisps as the ship creaked and shrieked and finally broke in two. The lights winked out for the last time and Titanic slowly disappeared from the world forever.

Madeline Astor's hands clenched in her lap and her sobs became louder. There was nothing Sophia could do other than clasp Madeline's hands in her own and offer comfort. Madeline leaned into her tears falling on her mink coat and Sophia found tears slipping silently down her own face. It was a tragedy that could leave no one untouched.

We heard of the sinking long before any survivors reached New York. Alex went mad with fear, he was certain Sophia had been killed. Her name did not appear on the lists of the living, and we did not find her when the Carpathia docked. We assumed the worst, but it was Alex that was torn with grief far deeper than any of us could feel. I longed to comfort him, but there was nothing I could say.

I found him one day sitting on my bed, a handkerchief in his hands. There were tears in his eyes that he refused to shed. I knew without asking it was hers, it was the handkerchief he had carried with him since her birthday so long ago.

"She's gone." Alex whispered in an unsteady way that told me he had been drinking. "Ya know I saw her the night of the sinking, in my study. I woke not knowing why I was awake only knowing that I must wake. She was standing there looking confused, we both agreed it was a dream. I told her I loved her, Kat, and she scoffed at me before disappearing. That is the worst part, she died without knowing I loved her. She left this world without knowing anyone loved her. We all abandoned her, her parents, you and I. I can only hope her mother and our mother are taking care of her now."

"I am sorry Alex." I whispered, not knowing what else to say. Tears streaked my face, as I was not a man and not required to hold such things in. I heard footsteps on the stair and turned quickly to shoo anyone away. Alex needed to be alone with his grief. To my surprise it was Nick, in his hand was a stack of white paper and a smile on his face.

"What is it?" I gasped, hope rising in my chest with a sweetness I feared. I dared not hope the impossible.

"Read this." Nick told me softly. I glanced back at Alex who had laid back on my bed his back to us. On top was a survivor's list; I closed my eyes, as I did not see the name Sophia Baronoff listed.

"Why did you bring me this?" I hissed, trying to keep my voice down, I didn't want to excite Alex.

"Look here under Barron." He replied excitedly. Glancing at where he was pointing I saw a Juliet Barron and her maid Elaina Donovan listed under second class. "Clever girl."

"She always was that, but how do you know that this is her?" I responded, not yet willing to believe only to have my hopes shattered.

"This came just a little while ago," he told me, handing me a paper that had been shuffled to the back of the stack.

'Julia is alive (stop) we are going to upstate (stop) ............. Ally.'

"There is no mistaking it." I cried, nearly ripping the telegram in my excitement. Alex looked up from where he lay, shadows haunting his eyes. I looked back to Nick, indecision clear in my eyes.

"Go on, tell him." Nick whispered encouragingly, but still I hesitated. I had in my hands the power to make Alex and Julia stay apart forever. I could keep them from hurting each other. For a moment I considered it, but I knew it would never work that way. Their lives had turned into a wreck without one another.

I did not have to make up my mind. Alex had already risen from the bed and taken the papers from my hand before I had decided. Quickly he found the connection Nick did.

"She's alive." He said, as he looked up at me the light coming back into his eyes. He looked as though he had just been brought back to the living.

"Alex.........." I reached out as he moved away from me, so happy he could not yet entirely comprehend everything. I felt the glow fading as I remembered everything. There was more he needed to know.

"She's alive!" he cried. "She's going to upstate how to we find her."

"Alex." I said with more force. It was not necessary, as I realized he was suddenly looking at me with that steely gaze that had made boys in his youth cower.

"How long have you been in contact with her?" he asked slowly.

"Alex.........." I began in a soothing voice.

"How long!" he snapped. "How long have you been in contact?"

"I haven't been in contact with Julia." I protested, trying to buy myself some time. It didn't work for long, Alex had spent too much of his life 'improving the truth' to take it from me. He was a pro and I a mere amateur; he shook his head before turning back to me.

"Kat, don't even try evading me, I'm far better at that than you." Alex said with a tone that told me his temper was boiling just under the surface.

"Since she left Alex." I replied my head coming up and my chin tilting in a defensive manner.

"Since she left." He shook his head again. "And you didn't say a word to me."

"What could I say Alex?" I snapped, my temper coming to it's own boil. "You left her to the wolves. You left her alone, frightened, ruined, and homeless. You don't want to know what she's been doing all this time."

"I think it would be best if we sat down and you told me everything." Alex said in a deadly quiet voice.

"If you want to know what happened, you ask her." I told him, turning away and starting for the door. "I did not pay Ally to tell me what was happening for you. I did it to protect her and to keep an eye on her. She's in upstate, you find her."

Just wanted to say thanks for the last set of reviews, sorry I don't have time for individual S.O.'s, but I love you all!!!!


	24. The Aftermath

Alex stomped around his townhouse and ours for days, but I refused to give him an inch. He wasn't the only one with the Conlon temperament. This was a mess of his own creation and it was up to him to find the details he had refused to find until now. I didn't feel guilty not one bit, or at least that's what I comforted myself with when he glared my way.

It frustrated him to no end to know I knew exactly where the newly named Juliet was. Or at least he thought I did. It was very disconcerting that Ally hadn't sent word since the telegram Alex had seen. I was beginning to worry in earnest, none of my contacts were coming up with anything, and Nick's could only come up with very little. At that point, I had a feeling I was going to have to sit back, and wait for fate to bring the two star crossed lovers back together.

Meanwhile, our lives on the outside had to remain normal. Nick and I still maintained our social lives, leaving our children at home with the nanny, while we appeared at different events. Fundraising galas were springing up everywhere in an effort to raise funds for the survivors. Trials were beginning, laws were being petitioned, stories were circulating that were heartbreaking or down right fantastical.

It was a disaster I was certain would remain famous. Oddly enough, it would fade into history until only a few years ago, when a man named Walter Lord wrote _A Night to Remember_, but I digress.

Alex searched for her methodically, much more rationally than I would have. His keen mind knew, the first thing she would do was clear out her accounts. According to the passenger list, Sophia Barranoff was missing and believed dead. She would only have a short amount of time to clear out those accounts, and disappear with the money. Unfortunately he remained a step behind her, by the time his bank contacts had sorted everything out; she had closed all her accounts. Finding the trail to Juliet was now a little more difficult, and took almost a week before one of his men called him. A new bank account had been opened under the name Juliet Baron in Maryland. Within hours Alex was packed and on the train to Maryland. I could only hope he would come back with Juliet in tow. Regrettably he came back a week later empty handed and furious.

It's funny how the harder we search for something the harder it is to find, but just when we've given up hope, whatever we were searching for sudden appears. That's exactly what happened, just as we were about to give up hope, she reappeared.

The night was relatively warm, as I sat in front of the fire to ward of the nip, in the spring breeze that slipped through the open windows. My dress lay on the bed, my cheeks rouged and powdered, and my hair dressed with combs that winked with real sapphires and diamonds; my dress lay on the bed. I had an hour before the latest party we were attending, but this one would not be another round of charity balls. This one would either be profitable for us or it would sign our death warrants. It would be held at the home of Fredrico Leone, a man that held the livelihood of my husband's business and Alex's by the proverbial balls.

I rose to dress, my mind mixed with Alex's latest failure to find Juliet, and the worry at what Mr. Leone would do if this dinner party did not go as we hoped. He had the man power and the resources to have us killed, and men of his power often had no qualms with such things. Nick's mafia dealings had kept me from marrying him at first. Despite my love, I didn't want to return to the life that my family had died for. I had made an honest living, while morally it was not deemed an honest living; I hadn't had to steal to get it. I wouldn't have to die gunned down because I had stepped on too many toes and had begun stealing in other's territory.

I closed my eyes against the memories, knowing as I had when I made the decision to marry Nick, I had risked my life. Knowing I could die at any time should his business partners turn sour. Glancing back at the elegant sapphire silk over laid with a fine, ice blue, georgette and beaded with shimmering beads of the same sapphire as the silk, I wasn't sure the wealth was worth it. Pushing the thoughts from my mind I dressed, allowing the maid that had been waiting silently, to button the back. I heard footsteps on the stairs and sighed as I recognized my brother's gait. My bedroom door flew open, crashing into the wall causing my maid to jump and me to look at him irritably.

"Where is she?" Alex cried his tuxedo impeccable and his icy blue eyes dangerous. It was a combination that often made women flutter. As his sister, however, it just angered me. "Where is she damn it, I'm tired of playing games with you Kat, if you know where she is you'd better tell me now."

"I don't." I replied, reaching for the gloves that the maid was now holding for me. "I haven't the foggiest, the last telegram I received from Ally, was the last I heard anything. My guess is she knows I had contact with her maid, and is keeping Ally from contacting me."

"I don't know what's worse." He said hoarsely, sitting on the bed his hand running through his hair in frustration. "Knowing she's alive and being unable to find her, or believing her dead."

"I would think you would rather her alive no matter what." I said wryly. "After all you left her to save her life."

"I was wrong." He said softly to my surprise. I glanced back at him to find him looking at his hands helplessly. "I have the strongest feeling now that keeping her with me would have been the better choice."

I doubt she wants to be found by either of us Alex." I said gently, taking pity him as he looked at me with torment in his eyes. Still I couldn't help adding, "you made certain of that, it's what you wanted seven years ago."

"What I wanted is for her to go home and remain safe." Alex growled rising and going to the window, his hand hooked under his jacket and resting on his hip, his other on the window frame as he stared into the darkness. "From what I've found on Sophia Baranoff she didn't go home, but what I haven't found is exactly what she's been doing these years and why she didn't do as I told her to."

"You haven't wanted to dig too deep." I told him, with disappointment in my eyes. "You're afraid aren't you? You have to know by what she's been doing, how she's been supporting herself. "

"What do you mean?" he asked turning, his eyes narrowed once more and a look of the hunter, once again coming over his face. I closed my eyes and breathed a deep sigh, he obviously hadn't been looking in the right places, but then he wouldn't think to associate his beloved Julia with some of his darker associates. She was too sweet and too pure in his eyes for that, I was suddenly afraid of what he would do when he found she wasn't as he had left her. That time had changed her, hardened her farther than he obviously imagined.

"Obviously you haven't dug as deeply as I thought you would." I said crisply, wanting nothing more than to just tell him. "It's for her to tell you Alex, I won't get in between the two of you, I won't be burned by that fire."

"Are you ready dear?" I looked away from my brother's piercing gaze, to my husband's gentle one. I nodded and moved past Alex to take Nick's hand. "We'll see you at Mr. Leone's."

"Kat," Alex called, but I ignored him. Nick gave me a questioning glance, but said nothing as we made our way downstairs and to the waiting car.

My mind worried over the two of them as we drove through the lamp lit streets, the streets still shining with the rain that had passed before the sun had set. Nick watched me silently knowing when I was ready I would explain to him what was bothering me.

We remained in silence until we pulled into the drive of a truly stunning mansion. My nerves fluttered as entered the richly and elegantly appointed foyer and were introduced to our host.

"Ah the Geovani's." he said as he smiled charmingly and pleasantly. His eyes lingered on me for a moment before he smiled at Nick. "You've a beautiful wife Giovani,"

"That I do." Nick replied quietly as he wrapped a possessive arm around my waist. "That I do."

"We'll speak later." Leone said amiably turning to greet the guest that had arrived just behind us.

With polite nods we slipped into the crowd, and moved to an area where we could take note of everything. A balcony ran above the dance floor of the ballroom and people swirled in time to the orchestra that played in the corner. Formal black and pastels flashed over the honey colored wooden floor. From our vantage point we could watch everyone that entered and left as balcony ran on either side of the grand staircase that led down to the dance floor.

I took a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and smiled as I noted Alex's entrance. He had honed the ability to make a grand one years ago and it was always amusing for me to watch the ladies flutter. He made his way down the stairs, stopping at the bottom to greet the nearest people he knew. It amazed me to watch him, to think he had been a lowly newsie that had sold people like these, papers every day and had risen to become a man as affluent as they. I sipped my champagne as I watched him mingle, before joining us. We remained there taking notes until Mr. Leone made his way to us.

"I'm guessin' you'll want to talk with me." He said his eyes on Nick, his gaze flicking to Alex and back again.

"I think more to the point; you'll want to talk with me." Nick replied smoothly. We waited tensely to see if the man would take offense. He paused a moment and laughed, making us all give silent sighs of relief.

"You're right boy." He chuckled as his eyes caught on something just over Alex's shoulder for a moment, before focusing on him. "We'll go into my office, but first I want to talk with you're brother–in-law. I understand he's lost something."

"I don't understand." Alex said, giving the older man a look of amused curiosity. Leone's eyes focused again on something behind Alex. In curiosity I turned and followed his gaze. A woman stood poised at the top of the stairs, she did not appear to be pausing for effect, rather in nervousness. Her eyes were on the crowd and her lips moved as if she were trying to find the courage to join them. Her silk dress shimmered as she took a hesitant step and I admired her seamstress. The pairing of a solid ruby colored silk overlaid with a silk that was woven so fine it was shear in a few shades lighter was beautiful. Most of the women, including me, had beads that winked in the light, but her dress needed no other adornments. Only a bit of silk that matched the under dress, crossed over the empire waist of her bodice and down the split front, making it her seem like an ancient Greek goddess. Her hair was elegantly coifed and matching stones winked from their bed of mahogany curls. Her golden skin glowed against the red of her dress and a hand gracefully held her skirt. As we watched she appeared to gain her courage and took a few hesitant steps down the stairs only to change her mind and turn to leave.

"Juliet," Juliet." Leone called making her look up, and I gasped as I realized who it was we had been watching. I heard Alex's indrawn breath behind me and knew he too had seen her. "My contacts tell me you've been looking for a girl." Leone said slyly. "A girl I've had an acquaintance with myself. From what I hear you've got a past, and I'm banking on that past to keep her out of trouble. She's landed herself in a mess of it. I'm thinking a man with your connections could keep her safe. I've got a soft spot for the doll, but with our history, if I take too much interest the wife would skin me alive. Call it a test of your good faith in our business dealings."

Alex did not respond, his eyes were on the woman he had been searching for. Leone's smile was the satisfied grin of a matchmaker that has done their job well, as he looked between them. She smiled at him in relief, but when her eyes followed his look back at Alex, it faded. It took only a slit second for her to regain her composure and return the smile to her face. Nick watched in curiosity while I looked on with worry. I could only imagine what would happen between the two.

"Fredrico." She said smoothly in greeting, ignoring Alex as she offering her cheek for a kiss. He obliged her as he took her hand and then placed a kiss on the back of it. "It's been ages."

"You're looking as beautiful as ever." He responded with a wink. "If I weren't old enough to be your father…………….."

"That didn't stop you two years ago." She laughed, her laugh a little too gay, a touch shrill and over too soon. "But then that was before you married. How long before you tire of her? I'll schedule around it."

Alex studied her, Leone's words playing in his mind, as he took in her flirtatious smile and the promise in her eyes. Memories tugged at him, but one in particular put all the pieces together. Scott "Skittery" O'Leary had been a friend of his from back in his newsie days, and a little over a year ago he had recommended his current mistress to Alex. A woman by the name of Sophia Baranoff, the woman that now stood before him. He fought the urge to grab her and shake her, to hurt her for daring to let others touch her. For throwing away the life he had wanted for her, a life that had let him survive these seven years without her. He could hear Leone's voice as he forced the red to clear from his vision.

"I'm a happily married man now." Leone protested patting her cheek affectionately. "And while I'd love to stay and be flattered by ya, I've got business. Have you met Alex Conlon?"

"We've met." She said flatly, in a voice void of any emotion. "A long time ago."

"Good then ya can get reacquainted. Conlon's got enough money to see you taken care of real well and you'd better take care of her Conlon, she's a gem." Leone told them as he gestured to Nick to follow him. "And bring you're wife Giovani."

"What did you mean you'd schedule around him?" Alex asked, his voice betraying none of his emotions, but his eyes glittering with anger. His heart fought with the truth, he didn't want to believe she had lowered herself to become a prostitute.

"What do you think I meant Alex?" she returned his question with one of her own seeming undisturbed by Leone's words or Alex's anger. His eyes were dark with it and though he would've died before he'd admitted it; there was pain within those icy orbs. All these years she had hoped he would find out, hoped to hurt him as he hurt her, now the victory wasn't as sweet as she had imagined it. It left a bitter taste in her mouth that had the faint tang of shame in it.

"I had assumed you would have taken my suggestion and have gone home." Alex said his tone tart with the effort to hold onto his anger. "I would have believed you smart enough for that."

"I didn't have anything to go home to you saw to that," she told him airily as she placed a hand on the railing of the balcony and leaned over to look at the people below. "Luckily for me there are ways for a woman to make money without a father or husband. Why look down there, I see half a dozen of those men that have left me with a sizeable fortune."

"What exactly do you mean?" Alex demanded grabbing her arms and whirling her to face him. His hands were latched around her as tightly as manacles, and would be just as hard to break, but she felt only the irritation of being trapped. He needed to hear her say it, to believe it, to tell him plainly. "Say it Julia, tell me what you've been doing these last seven years."

"I'm a mistress to the rich and powerful." She said calmly as though it were the most natural thing in the world. "Men pay me well to be their confidant, companion, and their fantasy. I'm a whore, but I'm a damn clever one, clever enough to retire if I'd like, but I'm not certain I will. I rather like the life. Interested Alex, since you're a friend of Fredrico's I'll cut you a deal."

"You're saying that to hurt me." He snapped the muscle in his jaw working telling her that she was stepping too far over the line, but she had stepped too far to back out. The more she hurt him now the farther away he would stay. At the moment she could see his disappointment and anger warring with the compassion she knew he would also rather die than admit to. "I won't let you hurt me."

"Perhaps I am." She said calmly blinking away the tears while he wasn't looking at her. "Perhaps I'm not, but you'll never know. Now if you you're not interested, I'll find someone else."

He didn't move, his hands still pinned her to the wall, and she looked up at him with hurt and anger within her own eyes. His heart ached as he looked at the woman he loved, the woman he had given up. He had wanted the best for her and she had trampled his hopes under her dainty foot. He wanted to slap the smirk from her face; he wanted to wrap his hands around her throat for daring to let any man other than him touch her. He stared her in the eye and she stared back unflinchingly, unashamedly. Frustrated he punished her in the only way available.

His kiss was harsh and brutal, his hands tightened on her wrists stopping just shy of bruising, but squeezing hard enough to cause pain. For a moment Juliet was lost, she did not know what to do with this brutal side of the man that had broken her heart. He had always been gentle and sweet even in anger. Still she had kissed brutal men before; she knew the tricks of her trade well. When her initial shock faded and she responded it was not sweet and untried as he had remembered her kiss, it was rough and a touch wicked. It sent need spiraling through him to twist with the love he didn't want to feel anymore, and nearly brought him to his knees.

"Damn it." He growled as he shoved away from her his breathing as uneven as the beating of his heart.

"What's the matter Alex not interested?" she asked sweetly, batting her eyes at him playfully.

"Do I look stupid enough to get involved with a woman I've loved all my life now that she's a whore?" he questioned, his voice cutting, slicing her heart into pieces, but she raised her chin determined not to show it.

"It's not as though you've given me other choices Alex." She hissed angry at herself as much as at him, angry at the hope that had momentarily burned brightly. "There was only one man I wanted to marry and that was you. Besides I couldn't marry, I couldn't go to a man's bed the virgin he would want me to be, remember I gave that to you."

"For centuries women have known the ways to replicate virginity." Alex said his eyes meeting hers, the disgust in them tore her apart. She blinked back the tears looking away from him, the bitterness that had haunted her for years gathering.

"Is that what you would have had me done Alex?" she asked softly. "Duped another man into believing I was a virgin and then lived with him for the rest of my life? I couldn't lie like that; I couldn't do that. Nor could I live the rest of my life sleeping with a man and baring his children. I couldn't live society ball, after society ball, always the perfect wife, knowing that I would see you. Knowing I would watch you waltz by with some fresh faced debutant that you didn't love. I would have loved any other man, but you and what would that make me? A whore with a wedding ring, I chose instead to take my freedom and sleep with many men I didn't love for money rather than one man that would imprison me."

"Is that what you tell yourself to sleep at night?" he snapped. "Had you loved me you would have done as I told you to. You would be married now, carrying your sixth child…………"

"And miserable, lonely, and desperate to get out of my life." She hissed, jerking at her arms to free herself and trying to look anywhere, but at him.

"And you're not lonely, miserable, and desperate to get out now?" he asked releasing one of her hands and grabbing hold of her face to force her to look him in the eye. Her eyes were too shiny, her cheeks rosy, and her face slightly pale. "Laudnum? Or have you graduated to opium yet? Tell me you like this life Jul, tell me you want this."

"What woman wants this life?" she queried her voice sharp to hide the pain in it. "Unfortunately it's the only life you men leave to us that don't have any other way to make a living. Let me go Alex, we've gone down separate paths and it's time for our ways to part again. I'll walk out of your life and you can forget what I've told you. You can pretend my life is as you wanted it to be."

Inwardly she was praying he wouldn't, praying he would tell her it was alright. She had wanted him to save her, everything she had done she had done in the hopes he would hear of it and rescue her. He was her night in shining armor, the love of her life that would battle any and all of her demons. He might be able to break through the bitterness that had surrounded her heart if only he would try. He was her last hope at salvation.

She watched as he turned away from her clearly expecting her to walk away. Her heart beat slowed in her chest, the heart that she didn't think could be hurt any longer shattered into millions of pieces. Some were so small she was certain she would never be able to piece it back together again. Silent as a ghost she slipped away from him and moved down the hallway to the stairs. Her head was held high, her body held rigid, for a moment she closed her eyes and composed her face into a pleasant look. She wouldn't let him know how he had hurt her. She moved down the stairs with a steady gait, and slipped through the crowd, too proud to leave the party.

Alex was silent as he joined our meeting; he seemed focused as though he didn't dare think about something. Leone asked about Juliet and he brushed the question off with an excuse that seemed to satisfy the older man. Unable to bear his silence I cornered him the moment we left Leone's office.

"What happened?" I asked pushing him into a darkened part of the balcony where no one would notice us.

"I found the truth." He told me dully. "Juliet's a prostitute, Sophia was a prostitute, Juila is dead."

"Damn it Alex, you were raised by a prostitute." I snapped knowing know he had refused her because of the choices she had made based on what he had left her. There were many times I wanted to beat on the walls of the injustices that were heaped on women by the male race and this was just one of them. Alex had slept with countless women to forget Julia, yet when she had slept with men to survive in a world where there were few options afforded to women, he refused her.

"You sold yourself to feed her and me." He growled his eyes flashing dangerously. He was not in the mood for me to take her side. Which only sparked my anger for what he had done to her.

"Damn you Alex. You've made her what she is." I hissed wanting to slap some sense into him. "For all your noble intentions you made her your mistress, before she ever became a mistress to anyone else. You treated her like a whore and now you are angry at her for becoming one."

"I never…………."He began, but I wasn't about to let him finish.

"Yes you did Alex, you slept with her, and tossed her aside when you were bored with her." I said angrily. "Or at least that's what it would have seemed like to her. She never knew the reasons you tossed her aside. You wanted her to be noble and do what you told her to do so you could be noble and sacrificing."

"She was mine damn it." He snarled. "How dare she let other men touch her, how dare she enjoy it. From the first moment I met her she was mine and no one else's."

Realization dawned on me and I realized though Juliet's chosen profession bothered him, it was more the fact that she hadn't pined for him. That she hadn't gone home, married, and refused to sleep with her husband because Alex wouldn't have her. The notion infuriated me.

"Oh shut your mouth Alex." I retort "Just shut it for one moment. Are you angry at her for sleeping with other men, or because those other men weren't you. If you had seen her here tonight and it had been with a husband would you have been less angry? Would you have been able to handle the notion that another man had the right to place his hands anywhere on her that he wanted?"

"Stop it Kat." He said tiredly. "I don't need this from you too."

"No I think you do." I said in a voice that was hoarse with the effort it took to keep from screaming at him. I clenched my hands in an attempt not to cuff him upside the head. "Your problem is that she let another man touch her, and no matter what you told her to do, it makes you feel as though she were disloyal to you. If you were smart you'd be thankful she didn't marry, because if you still love her you can legally marry her without having to make her a widow."

"I don't know what to think or what to feel." He told me, anger and frustration coloring his words. "But right now the last thing I want to do is marry her."

"You don't have to marry her." I said willing calm into my voice. "But if you don't help her Alex, she's going to die."

"From opium, laudanum, and alcohol? I can't stop her from taking them, only she can do that." he said bitterly. I shook my head my own disappointment shining in my eyes. He searched my face for something and at last his face grew grave when he saw there was something much deeper. "What is it?"

"Leone passed on some information, it seems he's done his research and he knows our background with Julia." I told him matter of factly. "Do you know a man named Morgan Donovan.?"

"I know of him." Alex replied his face thoughtful as he contemplated it. Realization dawned slowly. "Kat, tell me she didn't get involved with him."

"Can't." I said simply with a shrug of my shoulders that didn't ease the worry that weighed upon them.

"Did he beat her?" He asked calmly, his eyes gleamed with a murderous light. "Is that why she flinched as though she had been beaten on Titanic?"

"I don't know what happened on Titanic, but yes he beat her, among other things." I told him with a sigh of resignation. I hadn't wanted to be the one to tell him, but it appeared I was going to have to.

"Among what other things?" Alex demanded, his hand falling on my shoulder and keeping me from turning away from him. I batted at it ineffectively before returning to the subject.

"He's the reason she's addicted to laudanum, or more succinctly opium." I said glaring up at him. "He wanted complete control and when she wouldn't give it to him, he beat her. When that didn't work, he went looking for something else. Ally says he found a bottle of laudanum in Julia's room.

Julia was taking it to try and stop the visions. Ally says she would wake screaming from dreams, and she was screaming your name and sobbing, asking why you had died. Julia was afraid they were visions and the further she moved away from you the worse they got. The only way she would sleep and surprisingly sleep well was to take little doses before bed.

A few weeks after Morgan found the bottle, Julia's doses were bigger. Eventually she moved away from laudanum all together and Morgan supplied her with straight opium. That was how he controlled her, but the more control he had, the angrier he got, the more he beat her, and the less strength she had to protect herself."

"Why didn't you do something?" Alex exploded; I ripped my shoulder from under his grasp and turned my back on him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't tell you, you had crushed her. There is no way she would have accepted help from you. I tried to help her." I cried, not certain who I was angry at him or myself. I asked myself that question many times and still had no answer. "I did what I could; she would never have taken my help if she had known it came from me. You made sure of that. I put a hit on him Alex, I hurt him and then we got her out. He should have died, but the stubborn bastard's still alive. Leone says Donovan's been asking about her and he's not convinced she's dead. The only reason she showed up here tonight where he might have connections was in the hope that Leone would take her back as his mistress."

"If he took her back Donovan would back off." Alex finished for me. "Because no one would dare to mess with Leone's property. Damn it." He hissed his eyes lingering over the crowd as he searched her out. "I don't want this Kat, I don't want her."

"Yes you do." I said softly rubbing his back in a maternal way. "You love her even if you don't want to. You'll protect her because of it."

"I'll protect her because I have to." Alex told me bitterly. "I'll protect her because if she dies Leone will have us all shot, and because I got her into this, but I won't love her.

"That's what you think." I said softly as I watched him spin around and walk toward the stairs like a warrior preparing to do battle.

Grams: Poor Jarrod, I had to kill him there couldn't be two love interests without it getting too cliché and I'm trying not to be cliché. I loved that line too, I'm glad someone else caught it. I know you're still hanging, but I'll update this sooner, my writer's block has lifted from it and set into Dream to Dream. Damn it.

Pricilla 2: Thank you, thank you bows. I'm not certain this chapter flows as smoothly, but I've been busy and unable to write, things get a little rusty if left for too long. I'm glad you felt Titanic sinking I really wanted it to hit home. Thanks again!

Dreamer: Thanks honey that means along. Yeah I killed him, bad Rhys, but still it worked and there couldn't be two love interests the muses tell me. I miss you and I want to talk with you again soon. Hey by the way when are you going to update? You'd better do it soon!

Tiger 17: Thank you, I'm sorry it made you cry, but not sorry if you know what I mean. Hope you liked this chapter.

Clover6776: An update, oh another one! Sorry it took so long. Hope you liked it!

Nevada: Thank you for sharing, I'm glad you liked it.

Mellisa: (does infamous new reviewer dance): Thank you, ducks head sheepishly gee thanks. I'm gland you enjoyed this chapter and I hope you continue to like it. I don't know we'll see where the muses take me. You never know when they'll take a wrong turn.

Elyse: (does new reviewer dance again): Me too, where would the story be without them. I guess duh, stupid me it would be over, but hey I'm not ready to be done yet. I updated yeah! Hope you liked it!


	25. A Proposition

The lights shimmered over the gathered people as Alex slipped through them elegantly, and if one didn't know him very well with indifference. He greeted those he should, and continued, to what it would appear to the casual observer, to mingle. All the while he was hunting Juliet.

She moved through the crowd just as he did, though she was biding her time until it wouldn't look odd if she slipped away. They moved in a peculiar sort of dance, Juliet keeping just beyond Alex, Alex standing only feet away every time she turned. Dancers swirled on the dance floor, skirts trailing across the gleaming hardwood, with no sound, but an interesting flow of silks and satins. Jewels winked in the light shimmering like sunshine skipping off the ocean. The world was dreamlike and her head felt light as it spun. Laughter filled her head starting shrill and grating and slowly fading to a deeper sound that faded again into almost a sob.

Her vision darkened, spots danced before her eyes. She felt as though she were on a merry-go-round that was spinning faster and faster, sounds, sights all blending into a dizzying whirl. Voices whispered keeping just soft enough that she couldn't understand what was being said. Desperately she tried to clear her head as it spun faster and faster, unable to keep her balance any longer she reached out attempting to grasp something, anything to keep her from falling to the floor.

Pain came in aches all over her body as if she had been beaten, a dull throbbing that made her gasp for breath. She felt the peculiar sensation that something was slipping into her like a hot knife through butter. It came once in her chest, followed by the left side of her abdomen, then between her ribs on her right side. She wondered at the feeling until a dull stinging began, only to be followed almost immediately by a white hot pain that made her arch her back. She could only choke on a cry as she fell, tears of pain already rolling down her cheeks. She felt arms wrap around her, strong male arms and the familiar smell of Alex. She couldn't breathe, couldn't speak, she could only focus on the pain that filled her. Pressure built and she found she couldn't breathe at all

"I'm dying Alex." She whispered coughing, tasting the sharp tang of blood on her tongue. She had been stabbed, she knew it even as her hand came to rest on her stomach and she could feel the wetness of her blood that soaked the velvet that covered it. If she dipped her hand lower she could feel the slits in the fabric where the knife had sliced through the gown and into her flesh. "I didn't tell them Alex, I didn't. They tried to make me talk, but I didn't."

She wanted him to know she was loyal to him, that she loved him. Everything she had endured this night had been to save him. Her life was a fair trade for his; she would do it over again if she had to, even knowing the horrors to come. She felt something wet falling on her face as though it were just beginning to rain. Opening her eyes she saw Alex leaning above her tears streaming down his face and it suddenly occurred to her that she had never seen Alex cry. Something twisted in her and the tears of pain that were already falling intensified at the pain in his eyes. She would have done anything to keep that look from his face.

"I love you." She told him raising a weak hand and cupping his cheek. "I have loved you since the moment I met you. Through all the missed chances and anger between us I have always loved you." The strength was slipping out of her as the blood was pouring from her body. Her hand slid from his cheek leaving a vermillion stain as it went. A calmness was spreading over her, yet the fear of death still held its sway and she continued to struggle against it. She could feel the rushing wings as it passed over her.

"_Nearer he came and nearer! Her face was like a light!_

_Her eyes grew wide for a moment; she drew one last deep breath,_

_Then her finger moved in the moonlight,_

_Her musket shattered the moonlight,_

_Shattered her breast in the moonlight and warned him-with her death."_

The words whispered through her, she could feel her lips moving, but it was not her voice that said them. Darkness tugged at her with its promise of peace, she reached for it.

"Jul, Jul, you're not dying on me." A voice hissed cutting through the calm that was settling over her. "I won't let you die, wake up damn you, wake up."

He had seen her falter and immediately his heart had been in his throat. He had pushed through the crowd frantically ignoring the outraged squawk of a woman he bowled over in his haste. He caught her just as she began to fall, her fingers digging painfully into his biceps as she attempted to keep herself upright. He heard her cry of pain and struggled to hold her as her back arched. Her eyes were glazing over and he was certain a vision had her in its grasp that is until she gasped for breath. Her body was warm in his arms, her skin flushed; her breathing was slow and deep except for the occasional gasp that became more frequent. Cradling her with one arm, he pulled the eyelid of one of her closed eyes open to find her pupils were constricted. Déjà vu filled him and he wasn't holding Juliet, he was holding Friday.

_Her blonde hair shimmered silver in the watery light coming in the dirty windows of the lodging house. Her breathing became more labored it was as if she were being strangled, as if some unseen hand was choking her. There was nothing he could do as he held her and she breathed her last breath, the laudanum still staining her cheeks red and keeping her body warm. Tears filled his eyes as anger and sorrow gripped his soul, he was helpless. He ran Brooklyn with an iron fist, but even he could not stop death_.

He shook his head, this was not Friday, this was Julia, his Julia. Sophia, Juliet, whatever she called herself that would not change who she was. Helplessness still filled him as he looked at her beautiful face, her breathing still hitching as it slowed more as each second passed. He knew the symptoms he had seen them before, had watched as the doctor had looked Friday over and pronounced his diagnosis. Still there was something different here. There had been no pain for Friday, it had been peaceful. Julia's face was still contorted into a mask of anguish that looked as though she were enduring torture.

He felt her stir as he shook her, her eyelids fluttering as though she were fighting; as though she could hear his frantic voice through the stupor of the laudanum. Weakly she batted at the hands that held her shoulders and continued to shake her. Her breathing was still slow, but she was stirring. Suddenly she sat upright her hands clutching her chest, her breath a strangled gasp of fright. Her hands patted her dress and though searching for something and when she didn't find it joy lit her face.

It took his breath away, for the first time in years he saw in that smile the ghost of the girl he had loved. Her eyes found his and the light dimmed, and she seemed to snap into the present. Slowly she looked around seeing the people hovering around her, both curious and afraid of her. Alex stood and reached a hand down to her, grudgingly she allowed him to help her up.

"Forgive me, I fear I haven't eaten since this morning, it appears the champagne has gone straight to my head." She said softly as she took in all the people that had crowded around for the spectacle. Without another word she turned and plunged through the crowd leaving Alex with no other choice than to follow her.

"I've never seen anyone react like that to champagne, she must have taken something else. Women like her often get involved in opium and the like you know." Alex overheard the tittering voice of some tittering society matron. Obviously she didn't know what company her husband kept. For there were women "like her" sprinkled through the crowd. This was not a high society ball; rather it was a meeting of the upper crust criminals and those officials they paid to keep quiet. He took a grim sort of satisfaction when no one responded to the woman.

People were parting in front of him allowing him to gain on Juliet's retreating figure. He watched as she dodged gracefully through the last of the crowd and leapt for the stairs like a gazelle with a lion in pursuit. He caught her just as she reached the hallway leading from the foyer to the stairs. His hand closed over her upper arm and swung her around to face him.

She stared at him her eyes wide, her chest heaving, her body trembling. The shadows suited him, the light from the ballroom just beyond turning his hair a burnished gold in the darkness making him appear like a young god, the look on his face made him appear as an avenging angel. Her heart was in her throat, she could feel the tears pool in her eyes as she looked at him. The man she loved, the man in her vision she had given her life for.

"What do you want Alex." She asked her voice wavering with the emotions that were overwhelming her, that were tugging her in all different directions until she was afraid they would tear her apart. She caught the eye of a passing servant. "My coat if you please, it's a sable fur."

"What happened in there Julia?" Alex snapped, his brows drawn together in a frown that frightened her. She had to fight not to cower from the fury she saw in his eyes; shades of Morgan haunted her still. He shook her a bit. "I could have sworn the laudanum had caught up with you; but then you wouldn't have snapped out of it as you did. Nor is death by laudanum a particularly painful death and your face looked as if you were in agony."

"Call it a miracle." She said with a spark of defiance. She tugged at her arm to no avail; it would take more than a quick rejoinder to get her free. He raised his hand and out habit she cringed, waiting for the blow to strike. When after a few moments nothing happened she opened her eyes to see Alex's face expressionless. In disgust he dropped her arm, his hand finishing its journey to his hair where he ran a hand through it in frustration.

"I've never raised a hand to you Julia." Alex hissed. "Never, and I don't intend on starting now, no matter how in need of a whipping you might be. We'll leave the question of what happened in there alone for now. If it was a vision you'll tell me about it when you're ready, and if it was a miracle there's nothing to be done now. That is except tell you, that you will stop taking the laudanum, and you will stay away from opium.

"You have no control over me Alex." Juliet snapped, though she would not raise her eyes to his. It broke his heart; Julia would have looked him in the eye and dared him with her look to go straight to hell.

"I'm about to have far more control than you would like Jul." Alex replied his voice calm and as emotionless as his face had gone.

"What do you mean?" Juliet asked cautiously. She could feel the trap closing about her, but she felt as though perhaps she might have a chance to keep it from closing completely.

"I mean you've found your next patron Juliet. You'll have free reign of my town home here in the city and my country estate for as long as I care to remain your patron. You'll have a sizeable allowance for clothing, jewelry, and any other trinkets that may catch your fancy. As for any belongings you may have you'll move tomorrow." Alex said gesturing with his hands over each allowance she would have as he spoke.

"I have my own home," Juliet protested. "I will not live with you Alex, for that matter I'm not certain I want you as my patron. There are plenty of men within that ballroom that would be honored to have me as their mistress."

"Whether you want it or not, you'll have me for your patron. None of those men in there can help you. You have no other choice."

"I don't know what you're talking about." She said breathlessly turning from him to hide from that steely gaze; as though she could hide her predicament along with her face.

"There are only three men here that are strong enough to keep you safe from Morgan Donovan." Alex responded. She looked back at him her face suddenly pale as if even the man's name terrified her. "Don't waste my time or yours by deny the fact you need protection. Now there are only three that have the power and reputation, to make a man like Morgan think twice about making any attempts on you. The first would be obviously Leone, the man you came here to see tonight on the off chance that he might take you back as his mistress. Unfortunately he's happily married isn't he? The second is Nick Gianni, but as you know he's married to my sister and I would put my money on her in a fight for him. Kat doesn't share very well at all and despite your hatred of me I don't think you'd hurt her like that. So that would leave me and since I'm the only one available I suppose I'll have to take care of it."

"Don't bother." Juliet said loftily, having recovered from her momentary muteness. "A bottle of laudanum would take care of everything. My money will be left to Ally, who can do what she likes with her life, and all the rest of you will be free of the burden."

"I won't let you die." Alex voice thundered in the room. "I'll be damned before I let you die."

"You act as if you care." Juliet whispered a tear slipping down her cheek before she could stop it. "I don't understand Alex, why do you have to keep ripping me apart. What is it in me that draws you back to destroy me again? What do you want from me?"

He didn't realize he was moving toward her until he was almost upon her and she took a step back, her hand up. In his eyes she had seen the pain; she had seen the swift decision to comfort. It only confused her more, she had needed his love all her life and now she was deathly afraid of it. Alex might love her, but his love only brought devastation..

"Forget me Alex." She said, her voice wavering. He saw the frustration in her eyes as she set her jaw and continued with a steadier voice. "I don't need your help. Nor do I need to kill myself, Morgan thinks me dead. I was going to disappear after tonight. He might search for me for a little while based on the rumors of this party, but he'll never find me."

She glanced at the doorway to see the servant standing there clearly indecisive whether to leave and return or to interrupt and give Juliet her coat. She waved the man to her, thankful for the excuse to break Alex's searching gaze. Her contacts had told her Morgan was searching for her, that the sinking of Titanic hadn't thrown him off. She had narrowly escaped being found by his men twice. She knew he would find her and once he did, the pain in her vision would be nothing compared to what he would inflict. She took the coat from the man before turning her back on Alex and slipping it on.

"Goodbye Alex and thank you for your chivalrous if not misplaced worry." She called over her shoulder before starting across the foyer to the door. Where she had stood was a slip of white paper.

He might have let her go; he might have believed her, had he not bent down and retrieved the bit of paper from the black marble floor. The thick creamy vellum paper held columns of names; his eyes fell on his own name, followed by Nick's and mine. The word avoid was carefully printed next to them. He realized he held in his hands the guest list for Leone's party. Notes had been carefully taken next to each name.

"He must know how to find you Julia, or at least there's enough of a possibility he could, that you were desperate." Alex said slowly as he listened to the echo of her heels clicking on the floor. His gaze shifted to her where he found her frozen in the center of the foyer. The light played over her, making her sable coat look rich and her hair glint with red against the dark brown of the coat.

"I'm far from desperate." She replied, though she stayed as she was, back to him poised with one foot stepping toward the massive front door.

"There are at least half a dozen men on this list that I know for a fact have worked for or with Morgan Donovan. Laying out your strategy Julia?" He questioned, as she turned slowly to him, her chin rising defensively he smirked knowingly. "There is no way you could attend a party with the likes of Blink Cullegan and Skittery O'Leary without them knowing you were alive. They were newsies, they've known you since you roamed the streets with me. You'd be a fool if you thought that would keep them from telling Donovan you're alive, and you're not a fool. Which means, you desperate enough to brave Blink and Skits, not to mention me. I hurt you, I played you for a fool and your pride wouldn't permit you to socialize with me, unless you had no other choice. Does it kill you how well I still know you Jul?"

"First of all you will never call me Jul or Julia again. Those names became off limits the day you told me to leave." Her eyes were darkly dangerous as she turned back to him, her cheeks hotly flushed, even the tips of her ears burned with anger. He felt an odd sense of relief that she could still be angry without fear if pushed far enough. Morgan hadn't broken her as much as he feared. "Second Skittery O'Leary and I have a past, and you have no idea what sort of relationship I've had with these men over the years. Third if you wish to remain living you will never speak of that night again Alex. You aren't the only one with contacts, nor are you the only one not afraid to use them. How dare you arrogantly toss the night you broke me in my face. I hate you Alex, I really hate you."

"You have no idea what I went through that night Julia, nor can you ever know." Alex hissed, the pain in his heart for the words she had said with such feeling nearly blinding him with rage. His hands closed on her arms before he knew what he was doing. "Don't speak to me of it as if I just casually broke your heart and walked away. I died that night as much as you did."

"You died that night?" she cried. "You died, you didn't bloody care, you just wanted me out so that you could move in on……….I don't even remember her name."

Alex closed his eyes and struggled with control. The hatred he had seen burning in her eyes had been more than he could take. He had promised himself he would let her think what she wanted; he would bear her hatred if only to keep her alive. Yet here she was in even more trouble than her father could think to create and the executioners shadow still over her. She was dead without him, but he had no doubts Mr. Dubois would still honor his promise if he found she was with him. He knew she stood a better chance at his side than if he walked away. Harder the deal with was the knowledge that if he had stayed with her neither of them would be in this position now, and the stark pain wouldn't be staring accusingly from her eyes.

"I'm not going to let him kill you." Alex said each word coming out separately. "I'm not going to let you kill yourself and if the only person you have left to fight with is me, then so be it. You're coming home with me tonight. At the moment you will turn around with me and return to the ballroom where we will visibly be seen together. When Morgan finds you were here, he'll know better than to come looking for you."

Memories of her vision assailed her, memories of her death to save his. Which choice could she make? She would die with him or she would die without him. Looking at him there was only one choice.

"You expect me to go with you, to be your mistress?" she asked scornfully. "I'll go with you Alex, if it must be that way, but my nights will be spent in my own bed. I won't give my body to a man I hate. I may be a prostitute, but even I have standards."

She could see his eyes darken with pain at the words she threw him. Words that were calculated to hurt him, calculated to make him leave her. He didn't though; instead he simply swallowed her callous words and extended his hand for hers.

"We'll see." Alex told her, giving her his signature smirk. She watched him for a moment as though calculating something before placing her hand in his.

"What makes you think you can change my mind?" she asked as he casually tucked her arm within the crook of his. "I don't remember the last time with you. Now I can say I've slept with many men over the years since, and I remember quite a few, but you. No, I'm afraid I have no recollection of you. Your reputation I believe is greater than your actual performance."

Alex moved so swiftly she had not time to react. Her back against the wall and her arms pinned on either side of her head before she knew what was happening. She cringed expecting his kiss to be brutal, a punishment for her attack on his pride. As his lips closed over hers she found she could not gage it against any other kiss she had received from him. It was not sweet and gentle, nor was it brutal. It could only be described as a kiss born from intense passion and desperate emotion. A kiss she was lost in before she even knew it had begun.

In his arms she came alive, for the first time in seven years she felt passion. For the first time it was not a kiss filled with calculation or the exchange of money. It was not filled with skill, but empty of any emotion. Alex was a living flame that had sparked the dry kindling that had been languishing for so long. He wanted to crush her against him, but refrained as she moved closer of her own accord. She slipped her wrists free of their shackles, her lips fused to Alex's as he continued to brace himself against the wall. As her arms slipped around his neck and a soft moan filtered through the kiss he knew he could press her down on any flat surface that was available. He didn't feel the smugness that would have followed with any other woman, instead he felt relief. She couldn't respond to him as she did if she truly hated him.

His hands slipped to her shoulders and under the coat, moving it from her shoulders to slide to the floor in a heap. His knuckle brushed the top of one corseted breast making her gasp and shudder. His heart pounded in his chest and he gave into the need to hold her. His arms slipped around her crushing her to him. She felt a stirring in her chest and a wealth of emotion that brought tears to her eyes with their shear intensity. Like the phoenix her heart renewed itself it the heat of his kiss and rose from the ashes it had been to beat in time with his.

"It appears you remember plenty Jul." Alex whispered, his breathing ragged. "You can't tell me you felt nothing, the beating of your heart would betray your lie. When the time comes, _if_ I decide to use your services, you won't tell me no."

Her brain slowly began to function as he stepped away, his eyes joined to hers for a moment before he turned and strode from the hallway into the ballroom. She slid to the floor tears brimming in her eyes, her hand clutched protectively over her heart as if she could keep it within her instead going with him. It was no use, she could deny it, but she couldn't change it. She loved him, had always loved him, and always would.

Elyse: Thank you, my stories to tend to get complicated for all involved, it's my muses. I'm glad you like my story it's always nice to know my stories are appreciated. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Dreamer: Wow, really the Highwayman, perfect timing since it appears again in this chapter. Like you can't do the same. HP has gone for months at a time without updating and it flows perfectly (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). Spot Conlon is nothing if not arrogant in the story. Most men with any kind of presence in life tend to be rather arrogant. Love ya honey!

Zorrina: Thank you! I'm glad you've enjoyed them. I don't know about gifted, but I do have a bit of talent it seems. At least enough I amuse myself and others. I hope you continue to enjoy it, please feel free to tell me when I mess up. Thanks again!

Clover6776: I updated (does the newly created updation dance.) I'm not certain that is even a word. Spell check certainly doesn't agree that it is, so I guess I am now making it one. Anywho, thank you, I really enjoy hearing that people like my work. I hope you continue to read. Thanks again!

Evahyoung: Sorry I'm not certain where to begin with this S.O. I guess I'll say thanks. You've given me quite a few very sweet compliments. I'm so happy you've enjoyed this story.

Racetrack's Girl: He's really one of my favorite characters too. I'm sorry I kept you up, yet at the same time I'm not. It's nice to know I can get someone hooked on what I'm writing. Thank you, I'll keep updating, you keep reviewing!


	26. Twofold Grief

I watched from the shadows, as Alex strode past me. He did not spare a glance at me or the girl he had left crumpled like a fragile flower crushed under his boot. My gaze traveled back to her, her head was bent, her hand curled at her lips, her other hand clutching her heart. I could see her shoulder's shaking, not with sobs, but with the effort not give into them. My heart ached for her as I watched her rocking slightly; there had been so much pain for her.

In my mind, I could see the happy little girl that had danced through our lives. Life had been so simple then. Had Jean Claude Dubois not come into our lives Julia would be married to Alex by now, perhaps they might have even had children. They would not be fighting this bitter battle between them. She would not be sitting with her arms wrapped around herself as if she let go she would fall apart. Tears would not be tracing silvery paths down the partially visible cheeks to drop and leave water marks the silk puddeling about her. She looked so lost, so alone, so broken.

I feared for them both, for the devastation they could wreak upon each other. For the pain I knew they would inflict upon each other, before they could understand. Juliet still knew nothing of Alex's motivations for sending her away. She still thought the worst as she had been led, and expected to. Even if she did learn the truth and understand, it could be too late for them both.

It looked like it was time to have a heart to heart with Juliet. More than anything I didn't want her to hurt him, anymore than I wanted him to hurt her. Later I would have a talk with Alex, but for now it was Juliet's turn in the hot seat.

"It's some predicament you've gotten yourself into girl." I said softly, with a bit of flint in my voice. "I _thought_ I raised you better than this. I _thought_ I taught you to use your mind better."

"I don't need your motherly attentions Kat; I'm far too old for you to play Mommy." She snapped, her head swinging toward me. For a moment I glimpsed the pain and the devastation, before she closed her eyes and locked her emotions away. "Not that you have any room to talk, after all I followed in _your_ footsteps."

"I can't say I wanted that for you." I said conversationally, sitting on the velvet covered settee that was just across from her. "I know the pain that comes from it. I know how you have to work so hard to lock away your emotions that you begin to think that you'll never have the chance to feel again. How you pretend to enjoy it, when it's killing you inside. I know how it hardens you, embitters you."

"I don't need a diatribe on the flaws of whoring." She spat, slowly rising to her feet and reaching for her coat. "What do you really want? I know you as well as I know your brother, and this isn't what you want to talk about."

"I don't want him to get hurt Jul." I said firmly, getting to the point, as she slipped her coat back on. "You've ruined your life, in a bid to hurt Alex as badly as he's hurt you. Don't ruin his, now that you've got him back in your grasp."

"As if I had the power to ruin his life." She responded bitterly. "He would have to care, for me to have any power over him. He's never cared about anything, he just wants to control."

"In some ways you're right, he's had to be in control or die for most of his life." I said looking directly at her. She did not look away, instead she watched me with a dull look in her eyes. "But you've always had control of him; you've always had his heart. Go home with him Juliet, or you'll be making the worst mistake of your life."

"Don't say such things." She hissed whirling away from me. "I would have thought more of you Kat, sitting there, trying to get me back into your brother's bed. He's just going to use me and toss me aside again. I've long since been disillusioned about life, and Alex Conlon."

"You don't know what you're talking about." I responded, attempting to keep the anger from my voice, and failing miserably. "You don't know what he's given up for you, or how much he's been hurting, just as you have. You think he's callous and cruel because that's what he wanted you to believe. In reality he gave up everything for you. His hopes, his dreams, and his heart have been broken, just as assuredly as yours have been."

"I don't know what you're talking about. You and Alex both speak in riddles; as if I should know what you are talking about." She cried, "He tells me passionately that he died that day, and you tell me he's given up everything for me. What in the hell are you talking about? Unless I missed something, time has drastically warped your perceptions of the events. He slept with me, and tossed me aside for something more interesting. He didn't give anything up, except the burden of the woman he didn't want any longer."

"Do you honestly believe that Julia?" I asked "You say you know him so well, and then tell me would he use you and toss you aside."

"He's done it before; he's been doing it since he became old enough to chase a skirt Kat. Both of us know that." She retorted.

"Then you're blinder than I thought." I replied disappointment coloring my voice. "You are the only woman, not related to him, that he has ever loved. He has loved you since you were both small children. He protected you on the streets; he was devoted to you, as he has never been devoted to anything in his entire life. When he grew older he let you go, so that you wouldn't be torn between worlds, so that you would have a better life. Yet that didn't stop him from trying to better himself, to raise himself to a class that he could still have you. Tell me, does that sound like a man who would cause you pain for his own selfish needs? To anyone else I would say yes, he casually and carelessly broke your heart, but not you Julia, never you."

"Then why would he do such a thing?" she demanded. "Why would he toss me aside as if I were nothing more than another floozy at his beck and call?"

"You ask him that." I told her. "You ask him about the woman he tossed you aside for. You ask him how she was."

"I don't want to know." She whispered looking away from me. "I couldn't handle his response."

"I think you'll be more surprised than hurt." I said, taking her hand, "Alex will want you to join him. We all want you to join him; your life depends on it."

She looked at me as though she wanted to ask me what I meant, but closed it again when I gave her a bland smile. I had given her as much information as I was going to. I wouldn't tell her, I had promised I wouldn't seven years ago. This was between the two of them.

As we reached the top of the staircase a slight tremor ran through her, it was the only sign she showed of nervousness and fear. Alex looked up at us, his eyes catching mine for a moment. I nodded and then pointedly looked back at Juliet. His eyes followed my gaze and fixed there, watching as she moved down the stairs with grace, and a slightly bored expression that hid her inner turmoil. He smiled briefly at her as she made her way toward him, and continued to talk with his business associates.

Her smile was seductive as she trailed hand along the back of his left shoulder, moving across to the right. He caught her hand before it could slip away, trapping it against his right shoulder. All eyes had turned to Juliet the moment she entered the ballroom. She had caused too much of a disruption earlier, for people not to be curious about her return. All watched as Alex took her hand from his shoulder and gallantly kissed it, with a wicked gleam in his eyes that left nothing to the imagination.

He excused himself from his associates, among them Blink Cullegan, leaving them smirking in male superiority as Alex took Juliet's arm and they moved to the stairs. Alex was taking no chances I noted, he had made his point rather well, and now he was moving her to a safer place. We had always been so close that there were many times we didn't even need to speak to each other. We often knew what the other wanted with little more than a look. His eyes met mine as they passed me, and I nodded knowing he wanted me to speak with Leone. I watched them until they disappeared in the darkened hallway, before gathering my dress and turning to look for Leone

They were silent as he helped her into the car, and it stretched into the ride home; Juliet stared out the window refusing to look at Alex at all. He studied her, taking in the differences in her. The thinness that made her collar bones stick through her skin piercingly, the sharpness of her facial features. She looked starved, and ill in the shadowy light filtering in from the street beyond.

Her eyes took in the town home they pulled up to. It was not the same place she had briefly called home seven years before. The entrance showed the reason for the new place.

"You've moved up in the world." She said appraisingly as she took in the black and white squares of marble that made up the floor. The foyer was rounded with a staircase in the center that led to a balcony. She could see three doors that faced the balcony that probably led to bedrooms. The rounded room held a hallway just to the left of the stairs and two doors. One was open and led to a parlor, the second she could only assume would be Alex's study or library. The hallway could only lead to the kitchen. As if in confirmation, a portly woman in a starched apron bustled in, her smile fading for a moment when she saw Juliet.

"Oh." She said, infusing in the one word all the disapproval and distain she could muster. Still knowing her place she held out her hand. "Your coat ma'am."

Alex's fingers brushed her collar as he slipped the coat from her shoulders. She wrapped her arms around herself at the sudden chill that enveloped her.

"If you'll ready the blue room, Miss Juliet will be staying with me for a while." Alex said dismissively as he turned to the room that's door was closed telling Juliet she had been right. "Her things with be sent here tomorrow, lay out something for her to sleep in."

"Miss Juliet, you'll follow me." The woman replied stiffly, her words still telling of her thoughts on Juliet. Silently she wished she were in her own home, on her own turf. Her servants wouldn't have dreamed of such behavior, but then she was the one cutting their paychecks. She had developed a rather thick skin to such disapproval over the years, but tonight her skin was too thin. She felt fragile as if the slightest reprimand would shatter her. She followed the woman up the steps and down the hall until she opened a door next to the room at the end of the left side of the hall. The room was painted a powder blue, the furniture lacquered in white and trimmed in gold. The spread on the magnificent four poster bed was a powder blue and gold brocade, making her feel as though she had stepped into a room that was usually occupied by French royalty.

The room was beautiful in an imposing sort of way. It intimidated her, just as she figured it was supposed to. The woman bustled about the room taking a silk peignoir from the heavy wardrobe and draping it over the bed. Without a word she left shutting the door behind her with a snap that still somehow managed to convey her disapproval.

With a sigh Juliet gently rubbed her temples trying to ward off the headache that was slowly creeping up on her. She sat at the vanity, as she began pulling the pins from her hair. She gave a sigh of relief as the heavy tresses fell about her. The door opened behind her and she glanced in the mirror, to find Alex shutting the door behind him. She closed her eyes for a moment, attempting to draw on the last reserves of her strength, only to find there was none left. She was too battered by Jarrod's death, the sinking of Titanic, and the fights with Alex, to do more than watch him come toward her.

Without a word his hands worked at the buttons on the back of her dress, gently freeing each one before finally sliding the shoulder straps from her shoulders. The dress slipped silently to the floor in a heap of vermillion silk, spread out on the floor like the blood of her heart. With dull eyes she watched Alex unhook her corset, until it slid to the floor with a thud. She closed her eyes, unable to bear thought of what was to come. She had loved him for so long; she knew she would be unable to keep her emotions from this night. She would be unable to keep it a business transaction, and it would rip her apart more than she had been this night.

She felt him gently brush her hair back from her shoulders and she waited with closed eyes for the next advance.

"Goodnight Juliet." She heard him say to her surprise, her eyes flew open and she saw him once again at the door. She was still standing there in shock as the door shut softly behind him, and she heard his footsteps moving away from her room. The door next to hers opened and she heard him moving about.

This was not as it was supposed to be, never before had she returned with a patron and he had left her for the night. She had one purpose and that was for pleasure. Part of her had longed for him to take advantage of her, for something else that she could hate him for. After all as long as she could hate him, she could keep him at bay. She would some how manage to keep moments like earlier this evening from happening.

Unable to mentally sort through any of this confounding event, she slipped out of her chemise, bloomers, and stockings. The silk of the peignoir slid over her skin like cool water, making her shiver. The sheets smelled of sunshine and she found she was far more tired than she had imagined, as her eyelids drooped. As she drifted off, she could still hear him moving about, just on the other side of the wall.

"_Alex?" she asked looking about the forest surrounding her. Sunlight slipped through the leaves, casting bits of gold through the emerald grass here and there. It fluttered over her skin warming her where it touched before the cool breeze made the leaves move again. "Alex?"_

_He should be here some where, she knew it. She caught her hands together nervousness filling her. To her surprise she wore a ring. Looking down, she saw a brilliant ruby situated on the third finger of her left hand. It winked at her as the sunlight momentarily fell on her, making it shine lustrously from its golden setting. _

"_Rubies were for virtuous women in the Renaissance. I believe King Henry the VIII gave a set to Anne Boleyn." She could hear his voice, it was as if she remembering a memory and in her mind's eye she could see him slipping it onto her finger. _

'_Rubies for me?" She asked incredulously. "You mock me."_

"_No I'm telling you your past doesn't matter to me; you are virtuous in my eyes." Alex replied, his voice still soft, but firm. _

"_Didn't Henry VIII behead Anne Boleyn?" she questioned with amusement coloring her words._

"_For not supplying him with a son if I remember correctly. You'd better supply that in quick order if you don't want to follow in her footsteps" Alex responded his arms wrapping around her, his tone as light as her own. _

"_Tyrant." She accused, the laugher golden as it spilled from her lips. _

"_Don't you forget it." He laughed. _

"_Are you ready?" Alex's voice said softly in her ear recalling her to the present. She turned to find him dressed elegantly in an exquisitely tailored suite._

"_I've been ready for this moment from the first time I saw you." She replied her heart leaping with joy at the sight of him._

"_They're waiting." He told her taking her hand._

Juliet came awake with a start, unsure of what had wakened her and faintly irritated by the interruption in her dream. It was still dark, though the horizon just beyond the French doors at the foot of her bed showed the lightness of predawn. She shivered in the early morning chill, the fire in her room had banked down the glowing embers, and in the darkness she felt alone. The warmth of her dream had only left her colder. Tears filled her eyes, as she curled up alone in her bed, while the man she still loved with all her heart was sleeping peacefully in the next room.

Sobs shook the bed with her effort to keep them silent as for the first time she let go of all her fear and anguish. All the pain and rage that had been building since the moment Alex had rejected her, for the first time broke free.

In the next room Alex did not sleep as she believed, he was awake and had been unable to sleep. He heard the small whimper through the wall, a sound of pain and distress. Without a second thought he slipped from under the covers, shivering at the cold wooden floor boards as he moved to the door. Next came a muffled sob that was so full of grief it tore at his heart. He rested his forehead on the door feeling useless and helpless. He couldn't help her, if he were to enter her room and attempt to comfort her; the much needed release of emotions would stop. She would bottle it away in an effort be strong, and his instincts told him that wouldn't be good for her. It was his penance; he knew it as he stood there his hands flat on the wooden door on either side of his forehead. He could only stand by helplessly, as the woman he had always loved sobbed in broken abandon.

His heart ached so desperately for the pain he had caused her. For the path he had placed her on. No matter what she had done, there was blame in it for him as well as her. In his heart he knew what he had denied all these years. He should have never let her go. Had he trusted in their love and his own ability to protect her, this would have never come to pass. She wouldn't be this jaded woman he barely recognized. They would have been married, perhaps with children by now. The image of Juliet sitting in a rocking chair nursing his child, was enough to send him to his knees. He had been a fool to think he could live without her.

Something trickled down his cheek, so foreign was the sensation that he looked to the ceiling, to see if it was for some unknown reason leaking. It wasn't until water rolled down the other cheek before he realized he too was weeping. Kneeling in the darkness with his head pressed against the door, the pain in his own heart broke free. For too long he had been the fearless leader. For too long he had ignored his own needs and wishes for the sake of others. For too long he had ignored his own emotions for fear of becoming weak. He hadn't cried when or mother died, nor did he when I had left him in the Refuge. He hadn't cried when I turned him away from the house, or when Dubois had taken Julia. He had stood strong like a man was supposed to when he had seen the utter devastation in Julia's eyes as he turned her away. Now in the quiet of the night her pain was more than he could take.

Together they wept, for the loneliness, for the pain, lost years, for what might have been. Her grief could be heard in muffled whimpers, his silent, but just as powerful. In the darkness Juliet did something she hadn't done in over seven years. She prayed. She pleaded for absolution for the life she had lived, for freedom from the pain she had trapped herself in, for the strength to make right in her life what was wrong. She was not alone as Alex prayed for forgiveness for his lack of faith, for the strength to both protect her and weather the pain she would inflict in fear. As the light of the sun reached the horizon and a new day dawned they relinquished the battle against the threads that had bound them together. The war was not yet finished, but they stood together on the path that would lead to their final surrender.

Evahyoung: Thank you what a sweet compliment. I think I've already replied to your request, but I still haven't seen your friends work. I am very interested to see it. Let me know!

Elyse: Good, you were supposed to think she had been stabbed. I can't make any promises about the future though it's in the hands of the muses, you'll have to talk with them. Thank you, sorry I didn't update particularly quickly.

Time is a waste of life: I hope you've made it this far, and have continued to enjoy my story. Thanks for the review!

Nevada: Wow thanks!

Anonymous: 26 more chapters or just chapter 26? If it was chapter 26 you got it!

Rumor: Yup, I was wondering where you went. I love their little confrontations, they're so sexy. Labyrinth was my inspiration for the descriptions of the dancing. I'm not sure where it came from, but it just seemed to fit. His smirk is so much a part of him I think it would come out anywhere. I love her she's defiantly the woman to keep Alex in line. Love ya grams!

Pricilla 2: Thanks, hon, glad ya liked it.

Dreamer: I loved that line too. I think I just might, sorry honey, stock up on the tissues. Hmmm, get online sometime and we'll work in that motivation. I'm still waiting for the masquerade ball. Hey is this set during winter? Because it would be so cool to work a Carnivale kind of theme to it the masquerade. It would so make sense, but I don't remember when you set it. I'll have to go look. Since Carnivale is Venis's version of Martigras, it would have to be on Fat Tuesday. Can't wait to talk

Tiger: Thank you, I like conflicting emotions. I'm glad someone gets me, it's about time. Thanks again!


	27. Memories

Alex sat in the wing chair his eyes staring sightlessly into the fire. Julia's sobs had long since faded, and he was certain she had cried herself to sleep. Slowly he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, as he rested his head in his hands. Memories were flashing through his mind. Perfect pictures he had captured in his mind, so that he would never forget what a perfect time that particular moment had been.

He remembered her on the docks, with her long hair sticking to her like seaweed, her eyes sparkling with laughter, the air ringing with it. She had, had a laugh that could make everyone else around her laugh. He shook his head as he realized even when he had come back for her the last time, she hadn't laughed like that.

He remembered her sleeping, her face peaceful and innocent as only a sleeping child's can be, and the moonlight bathing it in a soft glow. He could feel the ach in his heart he had felt then. The ache he now was old enough to recognize as love. He couldn't have been more than ten, but he had loved her.

"Hell." He said as he rubbed his hands over his face, before leaning his head back against the chair. He had loved her from the moment he had met her. That memory forever etched in his mind. She had been right, she was his only love and he was hers. No matter what she might say, he would have to remember her first prophecy. So far it had certainly come true, and she was never wrong. No matter what happened now she was his.

He remembered how she had looked that night, when he had seen her for the first time in years. Her hair had been swept up showing her the graceful curve of her neck, the sweep of her cream colored gown, which set off the light gold that still clung to her skin. The gold he was certain her father and stepmother had tried erase. The rose pinned into those curls, had been like a star in the night. She had been so beautiful he had almost wept with the shear loveliness of her. He had wanted to sweep her into his arms, to make all her dreams come true, to grovel at her feet. Never had any other woman invoked the need to have her at the risk of everything, including his dignity.

His mind flashed to another image, an image that was burned into his brain rather than saved to bring out like a much loved picture. It had none of the soft loveliness of his earlier memories. The sky was grey behind her as he saw the cool boredom on her face, the expensive lace contrasting with her now darker completion, the garnet of her gown complimenting her becomingly, her eyes cool and emotionless. It was as if she was a perfectly dressed doll waiting for someone to bring her to life again, and he had. If only for a few moments she had.

He remembered her on the rail of the Titanic, her dress a vivid emerald color this time, trimmed in jet. He had seen her coming down the deck and had taken a good look at her before boarding the boat train. The green had made her eyes brilliant, of course then it could have been the laudanum. He had watched her until he could see her no more, offering her a hand as if to tell her he was waving goodbye for good. It had not been his plan, he had meant to look into her life when he returned, but with the sinking of Titanic he had forgotten in the need to find her.

He stared listlessly into the fire, his mind traveling now to how she had looked the night before. Ruby red and very nearly a soft rose had brought color to her cheeks that held a paleness that showed even under her sun kissed skin. He had noticed her before Leone had called out to her. She had been so unsure of herself, but even from where he had stood he had seen her beauty. She seemed to belong there, the red of her dress blending and bleeding into the gold and red oriental rugs that garnished the floors. His heart had stopped when he had heard Leone call her over. His heart had ached when he had heard the flirting tone in her voice, as she spoke to Leone, and had given him such a cold one.

When he had held her in his arms and thought she was dying he had felt a fear he had never felt before. Her body had been warm and her eyes glassy; the only thing that had been in his mind at that moment was how he would never let her touch a drop of laudanum again. The fear that she might intentionally or accidentally take her life filled him with a freezing dread.

Unable to banish the fear he rose swiftly and moved to the door. There was silence, which did nothing to assuage his fears. As quietly as he was able to, he tried the door handle, and was grateful that she hadn't locked it against him. That in itself was a start. Slipping into the room as silently as he slipped through the houses he robbed he moved into the room. The soft golden sunlight of early morning slid past her north facing windows and French doors. The birds would be singing, the morning was clear and had they been in the country the air would have been pure. The promise of a beautiful day lifted his spirits and gave him hope.

She lay just as she had in that faded memory from his childhood. Her head turned to the side, lying on her stomach, with one arm curled under her pillow, the other laying next to her face. Her face, it still held the sweetness that only sleep brings. She was breathing softly and evenly, her lips twitching ever so slightly into elusive smile. It was as if she was afraid to smile and was hiding it to keep it from disappointing her.

It broke his heart, but remembering his original purpose, he scanned any table top for a bottle that might hold laudanum. He was just about to leave the room, to search her coat, when he noticed a beaded handbag that lay where it had been haphazardly tossed the night before. Curiously he lifted and opened it, inside was a small pad of paper, a gold pen, spare hair pins, a small bottle of perfumed oil, and a green bottle. Taking the bottle he slipped into his own room.

He opened it breathing in the acrid smell of the liquid Juliet had come to live for. Moving to the sink in his bedroom, he poured the liquid down the drain. She would not take any more of this medication, without supervision ever again. There was a knock at the door and he looked around the doorway to see his ever faithful butler standing in the entrance of his bedroom.

"Jameson." Alex said by way of greeting.

"Master Alex, David is here to see you. He is most insistent that he see you right now." Jameson said apologetically.

"Show him into my study, I will be down in a moment." Alex told the older man with a sigh. "Oh and Jameson." His trusted servant turned back to look at him. "As I am certain you already know, Miss Julia has returned. She is sleeping now, and I would like her to remain that way until she wakes. She's had a rough few weeks."

Alex moved across the room to his jacket, which lay carelessly across the bed he hadn't slept in. Searching the pockets, he withdrew a slip of the slip of paper that Juliet had dropped the night before.

"The writing on the paper is of no consequence, but the address of the hotel on the letterhead is. I would like you to go there and collect Miss Julia's things and her maid. Tell Ally that I want her search out any laudanum and destroy it. I do not want a drop of laudanum in this house. When we've weaned Miss Julia off of it I might allow her to have it in controlled doses. Miss Julia's name by the way has changed to Juliet; we will continue to call her this for her own safety." Alex told him rattling off his wishes, knowing Jameson would follow them to the letter. "Have Miss Coleman send up breakfast with tea when Miss Juliet wakes."

"Would you like breakfast served in the study for you and your guest?" Jameson questioned his hand on the door knob ready to leave.

"No, bring breakfast for me, set it on my desk." Alex said from his closet, his mind was already turning to what he should wear. He knew it would put David off balance to have to watch Alex eat. It was almost a show of dominance, and an obvious rudeness. There had been a rift between the two since Julia had left. It hadn't made sense to blame David for his part in banishing Julia, but he had none the less. Since Julia had left to become the woman she was now, David had constantly tempted his patience and leniency. He would put a stop to it today.

Dressed and pressed, looking quite the dapper fellow Alex descended the stairs, stopping for a moment to consider his reflection in the mirror hanging in the stairwell. He smiled at his reflection obviously pleased with it. The black suite was the color of death, the red tie contrasting starkly with the white of his shirt. The colors suited him well, and he knew it. His eyes narrowed slightly giving that penetrating look that had served him so well so many years ago and continued to do so today. It had always unnerved David, and right now he would have to keep him as off kilter as possible.

There was only one reason for David to be demanding an audience today, and that would because of Juliet. He had to have found out, it wasn't as if Alex hadn't made a direct point of letting everyone know she was his. He would have qualms just as he had before. What had caused the original rift between the two of him he didn't know, but he wasn't about to let David talk him into sending her away again. He paused for a moment at the doorway, closing his eyes and drawing a deep breath. With a sigh he let it out and entered his study, his face passively cool, and his eyes holding that stare that seemed to look through everything. With his regal bearing he was every inch the King of New York.

David watched silently from a leather chair in front of the cheerily crackling fire as Alex entered. Alex gave him no greeting instead he moved across the room to his desk, where a silver tray sat with the smells of breakfast foods wafting from it.

"What did you want David?" Alex asked as he casually took off his coat and hung it on the coat rack next to his desk before sitting down. He flicked his gaze to the other man as he reached for the pot of coffee and the lid that covered his meal.

"I hear Julia Dubois has come back again." David said coolly, matching Alex's calm.

"I fear you're mistaken." Alex replied as he nonchalantly buttered his toast and picked up his fork.

"Do you mean to tell me there is no woman other than Miss Coleman?" David demanded his voice still cool. He had learned well, Alex though trying to hide his amusement. He hadn't always been so calm in the face of something that bothered him.

"No," Alex said taking a bite of his eggs and raising any eyebrow. "I hardly find it any of your business as to whether or not I have a woman here. I certainly don't look that far into your affairs David."

"It becomes my business if it is indeed Julia Dubois; she's nothing, but trouble." David's tone was strained as though he was trying to control his temper now.

"The name of the woman upstairs is Juliet Barron." Alex said calmly knowing that David would already see past this. HE was too well informed not to be. He made it his business to know far more than he should. Though Alex couldn't blame him, after all Alex knew far more about David than he would ever admit. Including the fact that he had two mistresses to satisfy him despite the fact he was a "happily married man". He knew the names and addresses of both mistresses along with a spy in each household. It always paid to know as much as possible about your adversaries and David wasn't devoted to him as the other Wolves were.

"Juliet Baron?" David questioned sharply. "You mean the woman also known as Sophia Baranoff and formerly Julia Dubois? That woman that has been a whore to anyone in the business that would have her? And for some reason she is here, in the one place that would cause us all the most danger."

"I would be careful how you speak of Juliet." Alex said between clenched teeth, his voice harsh enough to have David settling back into the chair he had moved to the edge of.

"I know you've had a childish crush on the woman for most of your life Alex, but honestly, think with your brain." David said his voice once again calm. "She will bring about your ruin. For crying out loud she's crossed the wrong side of Morgan Donovan, and he's not someone you want to cross."

"Niether am I." Alex replied in an off handed manner, as though responding to a question about the weather.

"What about the men she's slept with? What about the people she's helped? We're talking about your enemies Alex. She's slipped information about you to spite you. She's given a very credible show of her absolute hatred of you." David argued.

"She'll have to get over that hatred, because I'm the only one left to protect her against Morgan. Whether she loves me or not David I don't care, but Leone dumped her in my care." Alex responded outwardly unruffled by David's revelation. It would appear that he would have some talking to do with Juliet when she woke. There were many things he could over look, but giving his foes information was not one of them. He filed that away, for now he had to focus on David.

"You expect me to believe that your emotions will play no part in this?" David queried raising an eyebrow of his own.

"What does it matter David?" Alex asked. " You were most insistant that we get on Leone's good side and if we don't keep Juliet alive then he will have us killed."

"Us or you?" David's question was followed by silence as Alex weighed his intent behind such a question.

"Does it matter, how long do you think the Wolves will hold on with out me Davey?" Alex's voice was colder than a frozen lake in winter. David paled slightly, but otherwise showed no emotion. "Do you think that Jack, or Marcus, or Richard will follow you? The only person that could possibly take charge would be Jack, and he's lookin' to get out of the business. With Deirdre expecting any day now he's not willing to continue to risk his life. I'm not certain how long that will last, but if I die, he certainly won't change his mind. Even if he did take charge Davey, you'd be in the same position, you'd be behind the lines, because no matter how much you want it, you aren't a leader. You'll never be a leader. It isn't a bad thing, you're brilliant Dave, you just don't have that edge."

"I'd better be going now." David said stiffly as he rose, his hat in his hand. He nodded in goodbye to Alex, who had turned his attention back to his breakfast and was pointedly ignoring him.

"Just remember Alex, she has no loyalty to you now. She'll cave the moment someone comes along with more money. She's as mercenary as you." David warned as he stopped just at the door and looked back.

"Are you questioning now if I can control one woman?" Alex's voice was like steel. "I can assure you I'll take care of her."

"Hello David." The cool feminine voice drew both of their attention. Juliet stood in the doorway her face serene, her long hair brushed and braided, the morning dress of soft rose decorated with rosettes becoming despite her pallor.

"Julia." David's voice was stiff as he acknowledged her, more out of fear of Alex, than out of true politeness. Her eyes met his and the look in those brown eyes gave her a shiver. She had spent years learning to decipher the interest in a man and the raw hunger in David's eyes as he looked her over surprised her. Here was a man that hated her, but from the lust in his eyes he wouldn't find any qualms in taking Alex's place.

Her lips stretched into a flirtatious smile, as her hand fell to her hip in a well known move, her body settling into a position that showed off her curves to her advantage. Her other hand reached up to toy playfully with his tie.

"When Alex grows bored with me again, I'll give you a discount." She promised, winking knowingly at him. "For old times sake."

"Juliet." Alex's voice was calm, but once again icy, a voice that was meant to frighten and it did, but Juliet was no longer a girl that would cower before him.

"Really Alex." She said with a light laugh as she moved past David, leaving him frozen behind her. "You can't fault me for finding my next benefactor before you shove me out the door again."

"I am a happily married man." David replied stiffly. Alex's eyes never left Juliet and his look could have bored holes into her.

"I'll bet." Julia's voice was dripping with sarcasm. "You think I can't see the interest in your eyes?"

"You're mistaken." David muttered, his cheeks flushing, giving him away. "I wouldn't think of cheating on my wife."

Alex's eyes flicked to him telling him he didn't believe the lie. His look offered retribution if he should ever think to take Juliet up on her offer. Juliet insolently ruffled his hair before moving past him to sit in one of the chairs in front of Alex's desk.

"I'll be here later Alex," David called softly before shutting the door behind him. Anger shone on his face in a way that frightened Miss Coleman as she passed. Juliet, Sophia, or Julia, whatever she wanted to call herself had played with the wrong man. He had wanted her all those years ago just before she had disappeared, wanted her in a way that he knew was inappropriate. Not to mention the fact that she was under the protection of Spot Conlon, the boy that frightened him in a way he wasn't willing to admit.

He like all of us had kept tabs on her. Once his family had died and he had begun to amass a fortune he had taken steps to assure a marriage proposal would be accepted by the Mayor. He might have actually had a chance if Alex had not gotten involved again. He had betrayed Alex to Bull Masterson in the hopes that he would get Alex out of the picture forever. Some how she had known, some how she had seen what was to happen and she had saved him. Still he had plans to offer for her hand.

He had a fool proof way to make certain he was the one that married Julia, the Mayor in his desperation to have another child had a few mistresses. Mr. Dubois would have done anything to keep that fact from his lovely wife. The cards hadn't played out. Julia had forced her father's hand and he had picked another fiancé. Then instead of marrying a man that would ensure at least Alex couldn't have her, she went running to Alex again and sealed her own death warrant.

When she had run off he had kept tabs on her again, through the many informants he had through out the criminals on the East Coast. He had approached her not long after his own marriage. She wasn't after all suitable for marriage any longer, but perhaps he could slake his dark need for her. Perhaps once he had her he would tire of her. He had caught up with her just after she had slipped out of Morgan Donovan's clutches. She had been too drunk and too high on opium to remember it, but he had. That one night hadn't been enough and he had would have given up his other two mistresses if only to possess her. She was Alex's though; she always came back to Alex, and she mocked him with it. He would bide his time and she would answer for it. If he planned it carefully enough Alex would pay for his arrogance all in one swoop. He chuckled to himself as he jogged down the stairs and whistled for a cab.

_And dark in the dark old inn-yard a stable-wicket creaked  
Where Tim the ostler listened. His face was white and peaked.  
His eyes were hollows of madness, his hair like mouldy hay,  
But he loved the landlord's daughter.  
The landlord's red-lipped daughter.  
Dumb as a dog he listened, and he heard the robber say-_

_-The Highwayman by Alfred Noyes_

**It's been so long since I've posted I'm going to say thank you for all the previous reviews. I'm sorry I'm not doing individual SO's, but I'm certain you've all forgotten what you've written. Thank you again!**


	28. Difficulties With Trust

The half smile Juliet wore caused Alex to narrow his unblinking eyes as she stood in the doorway watching David leave. David's words were ringing in his ears. She had betrayed him, to whom and about what at this point to whom and about what didn't matter right now, just the fact that she had betrayed him. He leaned back in his chair, his hands resting on the armrests, his gaze cold as she glanced back at him. The flames that crackled merrily from the fireplace was the only noise in the room. The tension was thick enough it could be tasted.

"Haven't you reconciled yourself to what I am yet, Alex?" she asked, her eyes expressionless, her mouth still curved in that mocking smile. She looked like an aloof porcelain doll that was looking down her nose at him. In that moment she was so beautiful he ached for her, ached for her even as he cursed her for betraying him.

"Though I can't say it doesn't bother me what you've been," Alex said coolly, "It does bother me to find you've betrayed me Juliet. It seems I can't trust you no matter what. It appears I will have to make certain you do not leave this house without my express permission and with an escort of my choosing. I will have to assign someone to you to make certain you aren't slipping notes out with information that could get me killed, or worse locked up."

She almost smiled at the order of his words. Most people would have rather been alive instead of locked up. Alexander Conlon would have rather died than be locked up He was a man that would chafe any bonds. He was a man meant to be free, always had been. Was it any wonder he had told her to leave so long ago? The idea of marriage was yet another bond, something to tie him down. She was certain he couldn't live with just one woman for the rest of his life.

"I haven't thought of you in years Alex." She replied with a careless shrug. "I might have fed some information about you to at first, when you still mattered, but that was years ago."

He felt a stab of fear; she had known him better than anyone, had known his thoughts, his dreams, the very core of him. She could destroy him far more than she knew. She had been a part of him for far too long. For the first time in his life he realized exactly what damage she could do to him; what damage it could do to have her as an enemy. If Bull Masterson had ever gotten a hold of her and she had told him everything she knew, he would have been dead long ago. He had to know what she had said and to whom she had said it.

"What did you say to the men you've been with?" he asked, there was an underlying heat to his voice that made her shudder. She had never made him angry enough to hear that tone. It was the tone he had used on his boys when they were bordering on being thrown from Brooklyn territory."Who have you told about me, just out of spite?"

"What are you going to do Alex, throw me to the wolves? Turn me over to Morgan for betraying you? You betrayed me, with that damn blonde bitch that caught your attention only days after having me. When you told me to go, you meant nothing. I walked out that door and if you had been dying on the floor, I wouldn't have put you out of your misery. I would have watched as you died slowly and horribly. Then I would have felt vindicated."

"So you set a trap to kill me?" He asked his voice turning from heat to pure ice. He was ice where she was fire, calm where she was furious enough to draw blood. It frightened her, but she would be damned before she let him know it. "Are you really still with Morgan? Is this all some elaborate scheme to get me killed? Is that how you're going to score your next dose of opium? This time the straight stuff: no laudanum. The stuff that will give you visions you really want. The kind that will leave you in a happy daze and you can forget all your problems. The kind you can kill a man while you're on and not feel it a bit?"

"I wouldn't sell you out for opium." She laughed, though there was no humor in the sound. "I would sell you out for free, if I were going to do it. I can't say that I have been the position or with anyone interested enough to sell you out."

"I can't trust you can I?" His voice was little more than a whisper as she watched him with eyes that glittered dangerously.

"As though I can trust you?" she questioned her voice sharper than a jagged piece broken glass. "When will you get bored with me again Alex? When will you leave me to them again? When Leone no longer needs you for this job? Once he forgets about me? Don't worry, with his wife he's gloriously happy with, it won't be very long now. Then you'll be free. Who's going to notice one more body found in the Hudson? I'm supposed to be dead so I doubt anyone will notice if I go missing. Perhaps you'll do it yourself, at least afford me that courtesy. At least be a man about it this time and put me out of my misery."

"I'm not going to let you die, Juliet," He promised. "We may not be able to trust each other, but I still have enough feeling for you keep you alive."

"Oh, thank you for that much regard." She said bitterly. "You leave me broken and bleeding. Now I'm supposed to believe that you actually care if I'm alive or not? I'm supposed to jump for joy I suppose? So when you're done with me I can go to one of your underlings?"

"What do you want me to say Juliet, that I'll marry you?" He demanded loosing his temper. "That you're the only woman for me? How can you, a known whore expect that of one of your patrons? You know better. Once I contemplated marriage, once when you were young and innocent. We're both older and wiser than that now."

She paled as his words hurt her far more than any fist could. At least the bruises Morgan had left would fade and her spirit hadn't been broken. Now he was worse than a man that had beaten her. He knew how effective words could be. How much more words could hurt than fists. A bruise would fade, but being convinced of worthlessness or unworthiness was much harder to overcome. Words like the ones he had just uttered might never be forgiven, and would never be forgotten. She took a step back, her glittering eyes telling him there were tears there she was refusing to shed. He couldn't help the involuntary reaction to move toward her, but she raised her hand as if to ward him off. He hadn't meant the words, but he had needed to attack back. To hurt her as she was hurting him.

"Don't bother Alex." She hissed. "I don't need your pity. Nor do I need your protection."

"I beg to differ. I promised Leone we'd keep an eye on you. You were the price of our deal. If I let you die, I not only risk losing the job; I could lose my life. Worse I could lose Nick and Kat's lives. I'm not risking my sister for you, Juliet." He snapped. There was a moment of silence as she just stared at him, the pain in her eyes ripping at him. He watched her struggle with it trying to control it, desperately needing not to care. Part of him wondered how she could still care with the words she had said.

He knew she was angry and bitter. He sighed as he dropped her gaze and ran a hand along the back of his neck.This was no way to keep her with him, and it was no way to begin the life he wanted. Despite his words, he would marry her in a heartbeat. The thought was a revelation to him. Until that moment when the words and recognition of his feelings had slipped into his mind he hadn't known exactly what kind of relationship they would have. He had been so set on getting her safe he hadn't yet had the luxury of assessing his own feelings, let alone a way to deal with her. Briefly he allowed the flash of fear at the sudden thought they might have truly severed their relationship forever. The hurtful words that had been tossed between them might forever mar their feelings for one another. They might never be able to get beyond it.

The idea that she had betrayed him was so painful he hadn't thought beyond it. Damn David, he always knew where to sow the seeds of doubt. He had known somewhere in his heart Julia could never be disloyal. It wasn't in her, even if she thought he had betrayed her in the worst way, she wouldn't think twice of disloyalty herself. It wasn't in her nature. He had to know what had been said. He had to know to whom. He had to put it to rest forever. He couldn't let this bit of doubt continue and fester. She turned to leave and he was there in an instant, his arm wrapping painfully around her upper arm.

"Don't you dare stomp off now, Juliet." He hissed whirling her around as his other hand grasped her other arm before she could react. "Who did you talk to about me and what did you say?"

"What does it matter now?" she queried, the bitterness in her voice almost caused him to flinch. "Any betrayal was not entirely intentional. It didn't even occur to me that I could use what I know about you against you. If it had I might have used it, I have no loyalty left for you, Alex. I may have mentioned a heist that you pulled off that I recognized as yours, an occasional confirmation of the bars you liked so someone could approach you for a deal. How the hell do you think Leone contacted you about this job? He's always been very interested in your work. Does an Italian usually go to a Mick for a job like this? The Mafia sticks to its own."

"You've never slept with any of my enemies?" he questioned, sharper than he intended. He hadn't realized until the words slipped from his lips that _that_ was the betrayal he was afraid of. He wasn't certain he could have forgiven her for it. The idea of any of the men he called enemy putting their hands on Juliet made him feel physically ill. He wouldn't be able to look at her without seeing it.

"I was tempted to go to Bull Masterson after you asked me to leave..." She trailed off looking away. There were still tears in her eyes, pain in her face, and he would have given anything to make it go away, but it wouldn't be that simple. He had to know.

"But?" Alex prompted her giving her a bit of a shake. Of all the men should could have chosen, Bull Masterson was the worst. He was Alex's nemesis, his worst enemy, the man that had eventually come between he and Juliet to begin with.

"My pride got in the way, I had just turned him down for you." She said wiggling free. " He told me…"

Again she trailed off and he let her go. She slid back and rubbed her arms absently as she looked anywhere but at him

"What did he tell you?" Alex asked softly, much softer than he meant to. He had wanted to sound cool with a hint of disgust, but instead it was almost a plea. Her eyes met his and for a moment he saw that girl he had hurt so many years before. He saw the same broken, haunted pain that had hurt him as much as it had her.

"That you would tire of me, you would betray me and when you did he would be there to pick up the pieces. If I hadn't thrown those very words back in his face I would have gone to him. If there was anyone I knew that would teach me the life I chose it would have been him. I would have done anything to hurt you as much as you hurt me." She replied with a tired sort of bitterness. "I can't deal with this anymore."

Without another word she fled from the room. Alex watched her go, feeling an odd combination of relief and hurt. Relief that she hadn't gone to Bull, but hurt that she would have. Pride had gotten in her way. For once in her life her damned pride had saved her, both from his eternal disgust and the very real physical pain Bull would have inflicted. He knew that if she had gone to Bull he would have broken her and left her for dead. If she had survived her encounter, he might have sold her to one of the houses he frequented. There were certainly still plenty of places in New York where young girls were tricked into a promise of good money for a decent job. Places where once a girl was bought she didn't leave until she was sold again or dead.

The shriek from upstairs brought him into the entryway, he looked up in time to find Juliet skid to a stop at the balcony above. The look she gave him was bordering on hatred as she stared down at him for a moment. He could see she was holding something in her right hand and that she was shaking with fury.

"You bastard!" she shrieked as she threw something in his direction. He ducked and it whistled over his head to shatter against the wall. Looking down he saw the shards of the heavy brown glass of the laudanum bottle. "What right do you have to go through my personal things and get rid of them? This was in your room Alex, next to the sink, you meant to do it. Why in the hell would you dare to pour out my laudanum?"

"I had the right the moment you nearly died in my arms last night." He responded, holding a staying hand out to the housekeeper as she bustled in from the kitchen to see what had happened. "You're going to kill yourself with it."

"I am not going to kill myself." She ground out from behind her gritted teeth. "I need it for my headaches."

"Is it just for headaches Juliet, or are you using it to escape?" Alex snarled, once again his temper getting the better of him. "You can't handle life as it is so you're drugging yourself into oblivion? How long before enough isn't enough anymore and you kill yourself."

She moved down the stairs with a swiftness he wasn't quite ready for. She stopped at the foot of the stairs, her cream colored gown glowing in the sunlight that came from a small octagon shaped window above the doorway. She shimmered in the light making goose bumps break out on his arms.

"No deal Juliet, you'll not kill yourself on my watch." He said in a soft tone, slowly in a deadly calm voice.

"My habits are no longer your concern Alex." She replied heatedly, her hand gripping the banister so tightly in an effort to control her temper her fingers turned white. Her other hand was clutched in a fist that turned those fingers equally white.

"When Leone put you in my care, I promised to keep you alive. That was the deal Juliet." He told her with a patience he had to tightly control. "If you kill yourself with opium, Kat, Nick and I will all be in danger."

"I will not have you pouring out my laudanum. It's the only damn thing that keeps the visions away. It's the only thing that stops the headaches. It's the only thing that keeps me sane." She told him in a false calm he could easily see through. It sounded almost reasonable…almost.

"No, you can't have it. If you have a headache, a small dose will be administered to you by someone else. Either Jameson or your maid will give it to you. Ally and your things are currently being collected by Jameson and will be here shortly. At that time if it hasn't already been found, any laudanum will be destroyed."

"I have a damn headache now." She snapped. "What am I supposed to do until your underlings return to be my jailors?"

"Drink some willow bark tea; I'm certain my housekeeper can get you a cup," He snapped back loosing the battle for patience all together. "She was a midwife before she came to work for me, and on occasion still delivers the odd baby or helps a child that can't afford a doctor."

If she had, had anything to throw at him she would have. He could see it; he could see her trying desperately to calm herself enough to keep from flying at him in her rage. Sorrow seeped through him. What had they come to? Why did this have to be where they were? They had so much together once. He longed for the days of youth, when life had been carefree and his love of Juliet had been just as completley carefree. When the worries of reality hadn't disturbed them. For a moment he allowed himself to wonder what it might have been like if her father had never found her. If they had grown up together and married, as they surely would have. Or if he had defied her father, married her and disappeared somewhere safe. He closed his eyes against the pain and hopelessness he felt. Would they ever again feel that happiness? Or would they wander life together hating each other?

A/N: for those of you that are not aware of what a Mick is, since it is not commonly used today. It is a derogatory word that was used for anyone of Irish decent.


End file.
